**Im so sorry everyone, I had to go out of town yesterday, here is a chapter i had a lot of fun writing. let me know what you think -SSL**
Chapter 15: Souls
I force myself to go to bed. There is no use fighting sleep any longer. He isn't coming back tonight. I still can't talk to him but his steady heartbeat is echoing through my core. I awake to a droid bringing me in breakfast. I am so hungry I shoot right out of bed taking notice to Kylos absence. I wonder if our connection is still blocked.
Are we training today?
He doesn't answer back right away.
'Not today'
That just means I will be in this room all day alone. The only interaction Ill probably get is when Kylo allows me to to talk to him. I'm bored instantly. I decide to eat breakfast and go get the Force Bonds book from the top of the shelf and try and understand this more. Flipping through I find a page where the corner is folded down, bookmarking it. I scan the page over with my eyes and they fall to a picture of two people. One noticeably much taller and one small and petite. They hold hands but in their other hands they each hold a lightsaber. The larger figure holds one that is red, and when I squint my eyes and get closer to the page I swear it looks like Kylos. The other one, a double sided white lightsaber, I can't take my eyes off it. But underneath the picture is a paragraph scribed in fine print,
- A soulmate force bond is formed when an Ultra rare White and Red Ash Solar Star collapses. They are said to be no longer among the stars of the sky. The dying star will split into two different lights. The lights then make their way to opposite ends of the Galaxy and find two children while they are still in womb. Conceived by one parent of force. When the time comes, the two will be reunited, opening the bond through an act of force. Time strengthens the bond. The dark and the light. In death they both die, one by the hand of the enemy, one by a broken heart. But alive, together they will bring balance to the... -
I quickly put the book back where I got it and just freeze sitting in the middle of the bed again. Just then the door slides open and Kylo walks in. Removes his helmet, sets it down on the table with a loud thud, and comes and sits down on the edge of the bed. He never makes eye contact but just sits there in complete silence with his head lowered. Eyes closed.
I'm want to break the silence but don't know what to say. He doesn't move except for the slight rising of his back when he breaths in. He turns his head and looks right at me. His eyes just memorizing my face. I don't even want to argue because I truly don't want to be alone again.
"If you go back, to them. Your... friends. I will find you, I don't even need to think about it. I know exactly where you are. It's like my own personal tracking device. If you go to them. I will find you and I will kill them all." He shifts so his back is against the foot board. His eyes, never leaving my face. "I don't mean to say this and scare you. But it's the truth. I will do what I have to do and I am who I am. You will make it even easier by running to them. So think about it. You don't have to fight on the front lines with me. I have spent many years training my knights to perfect a battle win and they get the job done..."
I interrupt him, "Your going to kill them all?!" I snap. I don't look at him, water swells my eyes. I look out the window at all the stars and planets just knowing I will never be able to be free. I wait a minute to just let what he said register in my mind.
"You care so much about people you know nothing about. With or without you, I will find all their bases and completely eliminate the resistance. They are standing in my way. Don't make it easier for me and you will have nothing to feel guilty about."
I can never escape you. I never thought that if I go to them, I will be leading the enemy right to them. Just like with Luke. I frown and feel the tears start falling from my cheeks.
He looks around the room and his eyes catch the red book and then he looks back at me.
"Do you want to go on a trip?"
"With you?"
"Yes. I told you that you are my responsibility."
He caught me off guard, this is not how I imagined this conversation going. I want to bring up the book now. But the thought of seeing something other than the walls of the destroyer has me intrigued.
"Why?"
"I don't need to be at D'qar. My knights have it under control. Our troops are also expertly trained. I would be of better use expanding your training."
Everything he said just twisted my stomach in 3 different ways. But I have so many questions, maybe now I can get answers. So I agree to go and he smiles. Is he excited about something? He slides off the bed and walks over to a wall that seems to have nothing on it. I thought it was a strange wall, I couldn't figure out the purpose but I knew there was one. I could feel it, something radiating from the walls every time I walked past it. He waves his hand over a section and a drawer pops open, just a drawer in a wall. Completely undetected when closed.
I wonder what else is on that wall
'Don't even think about it' he looks at me still grinning his childish grin.
Unmasked Kylo Ren
He pulls out a thick black cloth looking item, neatly folded. He waves his hand and the drawer disappears. He motions for me to come stand in front of him and he waves the cloth out. Except it's not just a cloth, it's a cloak. He swings it out and holds it for me to step into it. I do and turn to face him. He hooks it in front of me and I instantly enjoy how thick and warm it is. With a large hood draped around the shoulders. It has thick sleeves that come to a point at the top of my hands. It's almost identical to what Kylo wears but this one is a perfect fit and unique in its own ways.
"I had this made for you. Waiting for the moment you submit without argue to my training." He's grinning from ear to ear, enjoying this.
"It's amazing." I step away from him and do a small spin to just watch the fabric swish around my feet. It's really marvelous. "Can I ask you something? Or do I have to beat you up for it."
"Luckily for you I'm in a... Generous mood... And I'll allow you one question. That doesn't mean I'll answer it." He leans against the wall and crosses his arms just observing how the cloak looks on me. I must look like a child because I keep rubbing my hands along the fabric. It's softer than it looks and holds all my heat in. I can feel myself warming up.
"Do you really think we are soulmates?" His posture changes the moment I say it. He straitens up. "I just read the book that's all. I must of read that before but I noticed how you marked the page and I just..." I'm embarrassed because I touched his stuff, but he left the book there and I know he put one in the other room, he made me read it the first night in there. I bite my tongue. Anxious for him to answer.
"I'm drawn to you in ways that a master should not be drawn to his apprentice. When I realized this I was able to convince Snoke to let me train you. He would of never suspected us to be more than that. This... me and you... are not suppose to exist as this. It's impossible. Somewhere deep down you feel it though. I know you do Rey. I feel it to. I told you on Starkiller that I felt it. Even then you were calling to me."
I'm lying to myself if I didn't say I found this monster attractive but Im sure it's not a soulmate bond. Even with his faded scar, he still resembles a human with a sort of soft side. How can this man be a monster. Sometimes when he isn't wearing his mask, I can forget the horrible things he's done. I need to change the subject.
"When do we leave" I'm so ready to leave this room and this ship and get far away from that book.
"Right now." He walks and stands right in front of me to pull my hood up over my head and holds the sides of it for a second. "You really don't know how alluring you look. Maybe my most dangerous knight yet." His eyes meet mine, he lets go to step away and he once again hides himself behind the mask. Hood up, he looks at me and cocks his head to one side motioning me to start moving. I follow him without a sound. He keeps a slow pace so I can keep up with him, which I am thankful for. Along the way I notice how everyone stiffens and silences when they see Kylo coming.
Everyone is so scared of you.
'They should be. But maybe it's you who they are afraid of'
When we reach the hanger I'm stunned. I remember the first time I laid eyes on it his ship it circled around and landed next to Mazs falling castle. At the time all I could think about was how to distance myself from it. The day I first encountered Kylo Ren. I almost don't want to get on but I just want to leave the destroyer.
He walks up to the ship, motioning me to go first so he can stay and talk to the troopers. I watch from the top of the ramp, they exchange a few words and he dismisses them. Turning his attention to me he walks up, closing the ramp behind him with the wave of his hand. Pausing for a split second in front of me before he walks over to the pilot seat and sits down to start turning on all the engines. Motioning me to sit in the seat next to him.
"Are we going alone? You know how to pilot this thing?"
"Yes, this is mine. One of a kind, I designed it myself. Don't you trust my flying?" He turns to face me but with his mask I cant read his expression.
"I don't know, I have never seen you in action."
"I know you are an excellent pilot yourself. You managed to leave Jakku on that piece of garbage. But you have nothing to worry about, I have no doubt you will find no flaws in my flying abilities." He turns back to flip a few more switches and we slowly lift off the hanger floor and soon all I can see are stars. His craft is a smooth ride, nothing like anything I have ever flown. Besides the few small vessels I flew on Jakku and then the Millennium Falcon, I guess I don't have much to compare it to. But if he designed this, I can only guess it's the best of the best.
We sit in silence for awhile. Maybe their is still tension from bringing up the soulmate force bond thing. I can't get the image of the two people holding hands and holding the lightsabers? The small petite one with her white double staffed lightsaber is burned in my mind. At home I always gravitated toward a staff. The way it moved in the air and how much control I had over it. It felt balanced and easy to handle. When I wielded it I felt powerful and knew I could stand my ground when need be. I can picture myself with that lightsaber the small petite figure was holding. The saber almost calling to me. The thought haunting me. I still don't believe this soulmate bond thing. It is said to be almost unheard of, impossible Kylo said. I stare out the window and feel my eyes closing so I wrap my new cloak tight around me and welcome sleep.