Notes: And here we conclude October! Thanks for the love, guys!

OCTOBER – THURSDAY

CAROLINE:

"Do we need to have an intervention, Caroline?"

Caroline stops short, not expecting Kol to be in the kitchen this early. He hadn't even gotten in before she's gone to bed last night. But he's standing there, in sweatpants and a holey White Stripes t-shirt, brandishing the empty bottle of wine she'd rinsed and left in the sink after Klaus had gone home.

"I'm just concerned for your well-being. Drinks on Friday with Bekah. The beer on Monday. And a whole bottle of wine to yourself on a Wednesday night? Alcohol dependency is a serious issue."

With a shake of her head she pushed past him to pour herself a cup of coffee, then throw two slices of rye into the toaster. "Okay, first of all. I do not have a dependency on alcohol. Though honestly, I'm thinking I might develop one with you here. You'd drive a far more serene person than me to drink, I'm sure."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," Kol preens.

"You would. I had two martinis on Friday. And two beers on Monday. That's not problem drinking."

"And the wine?" Kol inquires, shaking the bottle at her again.

"It's not a very big bottle, and I wasn't alone."

Kol's eyes light up with intrigue, "Ooh. The plot thickens. You didn't have a boyfriend when we talked a couple days ago. One night stand? Is he hiding in your bedroom? You're a dirty harlot, Miss Forbes. Color me impressed. With you, that is. Considering how silent your bedroom was this morning I'm not too impressed with your paramour."

"There's no one in my bedroom."

"He snuck out?" Kol demands, outraged. "Without even providing a wake up orgasm for your hospitality? How rude."

'A wake up orgasm for her hospitality?' Was that a thing? If that was a thing Caroline's been picking the wrong guys for one night stands. Not that there'd been a lot of them recently. Unfortunately.

"Relax, Kol. No one snuck out. It was Klaus."

"You slept with Klaus?!" Kol exclaims, and Caroline can't help but wince as his voice rises to a pitch too high for this early in the morning, "Already? I didn't even have time to set up a betting pool yet. Also, remind me to have a talk with him about satisfying the ladies, because he's clearly getting rusty in his old age."

Caroline stared at Kol in disbelief for several long seconds, before her toast popped and she turned to grab the peanut butter. "There are so many things wrong with what you just said, I'm not even sure where to start."

"Start with how Nik got into your pants so quick. I figured it would take him at least until the New Year to make it happen."

"He did not get into my pants, thank you very much."

"Were you not wearing pants, then?"

"And if I've found out you've set up," Caroline continues with her original thought, "or even participated in, a betting pool about my sex life I will castrate you with those fancy schmancy knives you insisted I'm not allowed to touch."

"What I'm hearing from you is that you don't want to know about any betting pools? Got it."

"That's what you heard? We're seriously going to need to work on your listening skills, Kol. I kind of threatened your dick, there. I was under the impression that you're a big fan of Little Kol."

"Oh, he's not little, Caroline. Trust me. And you'd never be able to hurt him, should your eyes be blessed enough to feast on his beauty."

"Ew," Caroline said, miming a gag. "And I'm quickly losing my appetite." She eyed her toast, debating. Decided that she might as well eat it, or she'd be sorry later. "Stop talking about your penis. And no bets."

"I'll be discrete but I'm poor now, darling. I've got to make a buck where I can. I could even cut you in, if you'd like. Then we'll both come out winners."

"How about no," Caroline stated flatly.

"How about yes? Come on," Kol wheedled, "I know all Nik's weaknesses. For example, that dress makes your arse look fantastic, and the fishnets are great. But Nik's a breast man so we're going to need to let the girl's breathe."

"No, Kol! I'm totally getting that perv jar. What would even be in this little scenario for me?"

"Um, orgasms?" Kol told her, speaking slowly, as if she were a simpleton. "Also, money."

Caroline counted to ten, breathing steadily through her nose. Was this her life now? Could she look forward to similar conversations over breakfast for the next three months, at the minimum? She hoped not. Her blood pressure would skyrocket and while she joked about alcoholism she feared for her liver. "No!" she asserted firmly, deciding to spell and repeat it for good measure, "N. O. No. Do you understand me? It's not happening. I'm not seducing your brother for your benefit, that's super creepy. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Klaus has no desire to sleep with me."

Kol snorts, "Okay. Sure. And I'm going to start using canned mushrooms to save money even though they're vile."

"What does that even…"

"It means that my brother would absolutely sleep with you. Last night, tomorrow. Next month, three years ago. He's rarely into blondes, but you seem to be an exception. And may I say you're a far superior exception to that grad student who kept trying to diagnose our family dysfunctions."

Caroline lets out a quick laugh at the thought of someone trying, "Good lord. I'm pretty sure y'all are beyond help."

"Exactly!" Kol tipped his coffee cup in her direction, 'And that's how we like it."

"But you're wrong about Klaus. He came over last night to say he was sorry for treating me like I had fleas, that's it. No moves were made."

"Yet."

Caroline rolled her eyes, mentally agreeing to disagree. Kol would gladly argue the point, she was sure, but she had a meeting at 9:30. "He won't tell me why I got the cold shoulder for the last couple years, though."

"I'm not surprised," Kol says, eyeing her with amusement, "and I can tell you're fishing. Try to do it with a little more skill, next time."

Caroline narrows her eyes at him, "So you know?"

"I know everything, darling."

"Except how not to blow hundreds of thousands of dollars, apparently."

Kol waved his hand, unconcerned, "No one's perfect. Is it my fault no one ever bothered to teach me about budgets, the value of a dollar? No. The education system failed me terribly. But when it comes to my siblings I am the keeper of all the secrets. They think me foolish, see. And don't guard themselves as they should."

"So what's Klaus' deal, then?"

"We do not have time to unpack all that, Caroline. Not if you're planning on going to work today."

"I meant with me, specifically."

Kol's head tilts, considering her for a moment. "I could tell you…"

"Great! Tell away."

"…but I won't."

Caroline deflates slightly. Of course he's going to be difficult. She should have anticipated this, "Kol," she begins in her sweetest, most beguiling tone, adds a little bat of her eyelashes for effect.

"Don't even try to flirt it out of me. Your rules state that you won't sleep with me remember? I am immune to your feminine wiles."

Caroline straightens abruptly. Damn it. He was right. "Just tell me!" she pleads.

"Nope."

"Why not? You can gloat. I know you like gloating."

"I do. But I've decided that my personal enjoyment will be greatly enhanced by letting you figure it out by yourself. The gloating will be even sweeter."

Internally Caroline was beginning to seethe, but she fought not to let it show. That would only add to Kol's satisfaction. "Fine," she said, aiming for nonchalance, "I'll just get Rebekah to tell me."

"A sound strategy. Except Rebekah won't be able to tell you, because she doesn't know."

"Why wouldn't she know? Klaus is her favorite."

"True," Kol agrees, unbothered. "Doesn't change the fact that she doesn't have the information you need."

"Elijah?" Caroline asks hopefully.

"Won't tell you. He's a big believer in family above all and airing Nik's dirty little secrets would go against that."

"Ugh. I hate you so much right now."

Kol pats her shoulder condescendingly, "I'm sure you do. But here's a hint: if you really think about it, you'll find that I've already told you what you need to know."

"What? You've told me nothing!" Caroline insists. She thought back on their conversation quickly, was sure that she was correct. Riddles drove her crazy and Kol's cryptic words would haunt her for the rest of the day. If not longer.

"I've told you enough," Kol says, a superior look firmly in place, "I'm going to shower. Have a good day. Bring home the bacon."

"Yeah, yeah," Caroline grumbled, "You suck, by the way. And I will have my revenge."

"What's the expression?" Kol wondered, a finger pressed to his lips mockingly, "Oh, yes. I'm shaking in my boots." He turned and exited the kitchen before Caroline could retort.

Damn. That was also going to bother her. She really loved having the last word. Clearly, this meant war.

More notes: We'll pick up next in November, where Caroline and Kol are experiencing some roommate growing pains. I forgot last chapter but a guest reviewer was wondering how many times Klaus and Caroline had seen each other. I mentioned that it's been several times a year, though it was always in group situations (parties, dinners at restaurants, etc.). Another guest reviewer expressed concern with the length of the chapters and I'm sorry to say but there short on purpose. I opened this story stating that this fic was an experiment in writing drabbles. My goal is to keep the chapters around 1500 words. I'm sorry if that's not to your taste! Thanks for reading. :)