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Chapter 32: Falling Star
Im back alone in the white room waiting for Kylo to come back so we can leave. I start biting at my nails. Im looking at the stars again. As much as I hate this place, the views are amazing. The door slides open behind me but I dont turn around. Part of me is so sick to my stomach for suggesting that he go fight the resistance. He could of just stayed with me in the Lake House and I wouldnt of had to worry about any of this. What if he kills Finn? Can I forgive him?
He walks over and looks down on me, never removing his mask. "Would you rather stay here and watch the stars?" he asks.
I turn around and walk over to the door waiting for him to come open it. Never looking at him. He standing by the windows still, hands behind his back. His head cocked a little to the side. Hes obviously confused by my actions. He walks over and pulls my hood over my head, I finally look up at him. His hands still holding the side of my hood in place so it doesn't fall back down. My eyes trace around the silver of his mask, hiding his eyes from me.
'Do not be like this' He says calmly through thoughts. I think he prefers to do it that way so his voice doesn't sound so mechanical. He lets go off my hood and puts his hand on the small of my back, sending static through my body. He pushes me out the door and when we are in the hallway he lets go and walks at a slow pace side by side with me. We walk in complete silence to the bottom of the open ramp of his ship. He motions me to go up so he can stay behind and talk to a trooper. I go and sit in the second seat. Slouching down and just waiting for him to come up. I hear his heavy footsteps come up the ramp and the door hiss shut. To my surprise he removes his helmet before we even take off. I watch as he engages all the controls. Still refusing to make eye contact. This makes me sick to my stomach. Im only doing it to get a few days alone.
I watch the stars as we go deeper and deeper into space. My eyes heavy. So I turn my head and allow myself to sleep. I wake up to the slow decent of the ship, we are already on Naboo. I feel like he purposely puts me to sleep when we fly. He probably isnt use to having a passenger that talks. I dont mind actually. But its dark out here. Seems much darker than any other night here, and I hate the idea of walking through the woods in the dark, reminding me to much of when I tried and escaped. "Ughh" I huff at the thought.
"Scared of the Dark?" Kylo says from the front seat, he turns off all the engines and the craft goes silent. He turns around and raises an eyebrow to me.
"Thats an understatement." I get up and wait by the ramp. Kylo is not amused by my stubborn behavior. He doesnt stop looking at me.
"Why do you hate me?" He asks. My eyes dart to his.
"Do you really need to ask?" I say, surprised by his question. Its pretty obvious.
Lets see... Hm... Kidnapper, King of Knights, Killer of my friends...
I roll my eyes. He gets up from his seat and comes and stands next to me and ignites his lightsaber. He lowers the ramp and walks out. His lightsaber the only source of light outside the craft. I follow behind. The air instantly makes my skin sticky under all the layers of clothes.
"Come on, I want to move fast. Its going to storm." He calls out to me. All the sudden a rumble emerges in the sky. I hurry behind and we pick up speed. For over an hour we track through the woods till we reach the end of the field so we can cross the lake. Its so dark I cant even see the house. Its crazy that he knows where he is going. Once we are in the boat I remove my cloak and start unwrapping my arms. Im so sticky, I dont know how Kylo bears it. Its even getting hard to breath I am so hot.
"Hold this." He says and holds his lightsaber out for me to take. I can tell hes hesitant.
"I dont want to touch that thing." I say back to him. He rolls his eyes at me and lowers his arm. The only glow around us hues red.
"Im trusting you enough to hold it and not kill me. Take it. Alot of people would kill to touch this." Hes offended. I dont think hes ever let anyone else hold it. I stick my hand out, I just want to get to the house to take a shower. He hands it to me, it weighs more than I thought it would. Its unbalanced in my hand. Heavy, wide, loud, and dangerous. The exhausts on the side scare me the most. I hold it perfectly still above my lap. Looking into its unstable light. Before I know it Kylo takes it from my hand and disengages it. He jumps up onto the dock with ease. He lowers his hand to help me up, I gather my cloak and wraps and take his hand and step onto the dock. He doesnt let go of my hand though, he squeezes it tighter and walks up the stairs. Its almost pitch black, I cant see. He leads me up the stairs. taking his time so I dont fall. at the top of the stairs he stops and lets go of my hand.
"Dont move." And then suddenly a small light emerges from beside me. He lits a candle with just a touch. The small light is enough for my eyes to refocus and I can see the outline of the pillars inside the patio. I let out a sigh, just thankful for the little bit of light that isnt bright red. I never want to touch his lightsaber again, I shutter.
"Can I go upstairs and shower? I cant breath in this." I ask. I feel so sticky and the air off the lake has a chill to it making me cold.
"Sure." He hands me the candle. I walk through the house and up the stairs, quickly closing the bedroom doors behind me. As fast as I can I shower. Im standing in front of the wardrobe with just a towel wrapped around me. My damp hair falling down my back. I settle on a soft pink cotton nightdress dress, it has thin straps and is almost to short but it feels good against my skin. I find a matching robe, it kind of reminds me of my cloak without a hood. Its the same soft pink material. I tie the string around me. Im still to embarrassed to still show so much skin. I fluff out my hair in the mirror. My cheeks are rosey and my eyes bright. I close my eyes and soak in the moment. I tiptoe down the stairs. The downstairs now is lit by a few more candles. I know exactly where Kylo is going to be. Hes out on the patio. Showered as well, and wearing the pants and v-neck tshirt I love. Hes facing the lake, standing attentive with his hands behind his back, holding a lightsaber that I have never seen before. I cant see his face. Its like he isnt really a mass murderer when I see him like this. I lean against the doorway just watching him. The rain falling heavy around the patio.
He turns his head to the side then turns all the way around keeping his hands behind his back. His eyes look at me from head to toe and he bites his lip before making eye contact with me.
"Come here," He says. I slowly walk over to him. The cotton robe brushing along my bare legs and lightly drags behind me. It feels so nice to not be in dirty clothes from home or the first order clothes. Despite the heavy rain around the patio, there is no breeze in here. Im about arms length away. He closes the cap between us in one step. His body flush against mine. He brings one hand to the small of my back. Pressing me even harder against him. His body against mine causing a tingle between my thighs. Hes so alluring, and right now I just want his lips on mine. Its just me and him here.
"Your so beautiful," he whispers and then he kisses me, dragging his hand up my back to in between my shoulder blades. He brings his other arm around but his hand still clutches the lightsaber and I can feel the coldness across my lower back. I freeze. He pulls his head away, he can tell im suddenly terrified.
"Are you going to kill me?" I ask. His eyes widen.
"No," he lets out a laugh. "Never." He drags his spread out hand even higher up my back to the back of my head into my hair. And he kisses me again. His thumb skimming behind my ear. He starts slow, but quickly it deepens. His hand with be saber pulls me tighter. He isnt holding back at all so I dont either. My hands are pinned against his chest. My palms below his collarbone. I stand on my tippy toes to deepen the kiss back but he pulls away and lets me go.
"I have something for you." He says after a few seconds. He back to being arms length away. I wish he was holding me again. I can feel his desire for me, but hes resisting so I take him seriously. He holds the lightsaber in one hand and hes tracing his fingers around the design in the middle. Its a black and white swirl that wraps around the whole thing. Its beautiful.
"Is that what I think it is?" A duel Lightsaber.
"I made it for you after our first training session." He hands it to me carefully and it fits my hand perfect. I twirl it around a few times but dont ignite it yet.
"Why would you make this for me?" I ask. Im puzzled.
"Because I know you arnt going to kill me with it and I wont always be here to protect you. I cant leave you defensless anymore. I was truly impressed with the way you took Cornelius down so fast. He is my top Knight. After that I knew you were ready. Go ahead, start it." He takes a step back. My body starts shaking with adrenaline. My thumb presses the ignite button and two beams of white light flicker out. A steady hum echos with it. I disengage it, I jump into Kylos arms, my bare legs wrap around his waist as the robe parts behind me. I wrap my arms around his neck. His hands catch my bare thighs. He has good balance.
"Thank you," I say, and I kiss him. Tightening my arms and legs. He smiles under my kiss and tightens his grip on my legs. I pull back and just look at him. "Like the white of a falling star?" I ask.
"I love you," he whispers. He catches me off guard. My body loosens but his hands under my legs dont let me fall. His eyes searching mine, worried I wont say it back. His words so honest it literally took my breath away, my heart stops a beat.
"I love you too," I whisper back. I tighten my arms and legs again and kiss him. My hair falling around my face. He let me down and takes the lightsaber from my hand and takes my other hand leading me into the house. He sets the lightsaber down on the glass table and starts walking up the steps. I know where this is leading, and I want it too. He stops halfway up the stairs and looks down at me behind him, still holding his hand. He squeezes my hand and keeps walking.
We are in the room and the door is shut, the only light is from a candle I left burning in the corner. Kylo stands me at the end of the bed. His eyes looking all over my body like he doesnt know where to start. He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear, and trails his fingers down the side of my neck. I lean into the feeling. His other hand pulls the string of my robe free and it opens. His hand slides inside the robe, tracing the curves of my side and hip with his hand. His other hand wrapped around my kneck, his thumb under my chin holding me still. I close my eyes. His hand in my robe glides along my butt, and then over my flat stomach. The material lightly moves under his hand, he moves his hand past the fabric to my bare leg and he reachs around to my underwear, hooking his thumb underneath it. Tracing the curve of my cheek. It feels so good.
He lets go of my neck but I dont move. He kneals down in front of me. He slides his hands up my legs all the way up under my nightdress and to my navel. His one thumb traces it and then while gliding his hands down back to my thighs he removes my underwear. I cover my face. He stands up removing my hands from my face. He grabs the back of my head and kisses me deeply and then backs me up till the back of my knees hit the bed. He stops, lets go of my head and slides my robe off. It slides to the ground. Exposing so much more of me. Kylo bites his lip and runs his fingers symetrically down my arms giving me goosebumps.
"Mmm," humms from his throat. He places his one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head and he drops us on the bed. My hair laying all around me. Kylos knee between my legs and he shifts so he is only on one elbow, his other hand traveling up my leg. Hes running kisses along my collar bone. I can feel his erection digging into my hip through his pants. he pushes the fabric of my dress up onto my stomach and he slowly inserts a finger. My eyes close and my back archs at the sensation. Kylos mouth is on mine as he absorbs the feeling of decire seeping from me. He rubs his thumb on my clit as he slowly teases me by roating his finger inside me slowly. All my senses fade and all I can feel is his desire for me. He pulls away to remove his all his clothes. He lays on top of me, support his weight with his elbows. I can feel his tip rubbing at my enterance. He slides a hand under my kneck and pulls me into a kiss as he fills me. I moan against his lips. his other hand rotate to under my back and under my nightdress. He pulls his hips back alittle before going back in. I arch my back, moaning again into his lips.
He breaks our kiss to whisper into my ear, "I truly love you." He runs his nose along my jaw and flexes his hips again.
"Ahh," I let out a sigh. He looks up to meet my eyes. "I love you too." I whisper back. I cup his cheek inside my palm and he leans into it. He continues a slow pace of moving in and out, each time deeper than the last. I feel my insides get hot, ready to release. I cant tell hes there too. His fingers dig into my back and he kisses me deep, His tongue gliding against the roof of my mouth. He tenses for a second and looks down on me. He gives me kisses along my jaw as he slowly pulls out. I wince at the sudden emptiness when he gets up and puts his pants back on. I pull my nightdress down and sit up but he crawls into bed pulling me down onto his chest. Hes lightly rubbing my back with his free hand. I close my eyes enjoying the touch.
"I wont be here when you wake up. I have to leave shortly to get things in order. Ill only be gone a few days. I promise." His words fade slowly as I fall asleep, perfectly content in his arms.