Chapter 50: 30 weeks
I look in the mirror, standing to the side to get a view of my perfectly round belly. My long wavy brown hair flows down my back. There is no hiding this now. Not behind a cloak or layers of clothes. I drop my head back. 10 more weeks. I feel like a whale, my breast are at least a size bigger and fuller. The rest of me just as thin as ever. I grabbed a floor length, soft, thin light blue dress from the wardrobe. The dress wraps around my neck and falls in a triangle form till the fabric meets again on the low of my back. My whole back exposed and tickled by my hair. It's beautiful and comfortable. No fabric restricting my stomach.
I don't walk anymore, I waddle. I slowly creep down the stairs. I know Kylo is standing out on the porch, waiting for me. It's mid morning, the sun not high in the sky. He doesn't turn when I walk out to meet him. He is standing shirtless looking over the lake with his hands behind his back, his feet partially spread. I rub my stomach slightly and wait for his to turn around.
"Are you okay?" I ask. My hand resting on my belly. He doesn't turn around, I can tell he is bothered by something. I slowly walk over to him and place my other hand on his arm, rubbing it lightly. "What's wrong?" He finally looks down at me and raises his hand and runs his fingers along my jaw.
"Nothing, you should not worry." His face doesn't match his voice right now.
"You seemed worried." I state. He presses his lips together. These past two months here have been amazing. Just the two of us together. And Dalah, she's wonderful. I have tried not to think about Snoke or the First Order.
"I have to leave." He says, his words rip through my chest. He hasn't had to leave yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they needed him back. I was just hoping we would have more time.
"When?" I pout.
"Today." He says and retracts his hand from my face. He looks back to the water and his face is as solid as stone. I walk in front of him and wrap my arms around him. Embracing him, he needs comfort as much as I do. He returns by wrapping his arms around me but I know his eyes don't leave the water. My eyes water and I squeeze him tighter. "Hey hey," he puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls away from me, "please don't be upset."
I wipe the tears from my eyes with my fingers. "How long will you be gone for?" I say between tears still falling."
"Not long. I promise." He says. Dalah emerges from the inside.
"Breakfast Lady Rey?" She ask, her voice is sweet and mechanical. I have grown fond of her. I look around Kylo and nod my head, she proceeds back inside. I wiggle out of Kylos grasp and walk inside. I'm mad at him for leaving and mad at myself for feeling this way. I hear him follow behind me. I feel his hand on my back and then suddenly he is standing in front of me.
"Please don't be upset my love. I am surprised I haven't been called in sooner but there is a matter I need to oversee. Don't be upset, I don't want to leave you either." His other hand caresses my round belly and then wipes a tear from my cheek. "Your so beautiful. It pains me to see you this way. You have been so happy."
"Because I am so in love with you." I put my hands on his chest and run my fingers through the fine dark hairs on his sternum. "No First Order, no Stormtroopers, no Supreme Leaders, just me and you." I look up into his eyes.
"It is I who is so in love with you." He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. The motion gives me butterflies. Ana rolls in unison to the tingles throughout my body from Kylos touch.
She hasn't been showing me a lot of visions lately. She still won't let me touch her in any of them. Whenever I get close the vision ends. She has shown me a vision of her and Kylo swimming together in the lake. She must be 7. So beautiful, a face full of freckles and some missing teeth. Her long thick wavy black hair, glistening in the sun. Kylo looks aged some but he looks just as handsome as he does now. She swam over to me and as soon as I went to give her the towel I was back in the living room, 25 weeks pregnant and Kylo asleep in the chair across from me.
Another vision she was sitting in the tub, maybe 3 years old, and making waves with her hands. Not splashing waves but waves FROM her hands. I was mesmerized. I don't even know how to do that yet. I went to take her out the tub and I was back looking at the holodisc Kylo gave me of Darth Vader. I remember that day, I remember when my eyes laid apron his name, Anakin Skywalker, that I realized where the name Ana came from. At first I was uncomfortable, but then I realized that changing her name now would not change her blood. And that I knew why Kylo never fought me to change it. I told him that night that I made the connection and he smiled, proud that I finally connected the dots. There is so much to learn from these visions. She shows me how powerful she will be, but she also shows me what an amazing father Kylo will be. He has been at ease lately, watching the visions. He loves watching her. Sometimes it pains him because he knows he will have to leave us at times.
Kylo lets go of me and walks over to a cabinet by the dinning room wall. He opens a small drawer inside and pulls something out, to small for me to see from where I stand. I watch him carefully as he makes his way back to me. Curiosity peeks me.
"My grandfather gave this to my grandmother when he was a small boy. It was special to her. I want you to have it." He turns the little wooden carved object in his hand before dropping it around my neck. It hangs low, almost resting on the top of my belly. I hold it in my hand and inspect the little carvings and notice the nicks and imperfections of the engravings.
"Did he make this?" I look up at him and he nods. "I love it, thank you." I reach up on my tippy toes and give him a kiss. Before wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. My belly almost to big for a decent hug anymore.
"What do you want to do today, I have a few hours. Whatever you want." He asks. There is one thing I want to ask him, and have for a few weeks now but am afraid. I start shaking at the anxiety I get from wanting to ask. "What?" He tilts his head.
"Can we go to the market?" I ask. "Nobody knows who you are. Or I can go alone. I just want to look around the city. I read it's beautiful. Please."
"Absolutely not. And you are to not go to the city when I leave. Is that clear?" He grabs my arms and pulls me in close. "Am I clear?" He says. His tone dark.
"Why!" I ask whinny. I can hear the high pitched echo to my voice.
"Because you are not putting yourself in harms way. End of discussion" he lets go of me and stomps into one of the adjoining rooms, out of view. I'll go, maybe not today but I will, I tell myself. I suck it up and follow him, not wanting to waste the last of our hours together fighting. When I enter the room he has a glass of the amber color liquid in his hand and is sitting in the chair.
"It's to early to be drinking, isn't it?" I ask, sitting across from him. It takes more effort to sit down and stand up. My back hurting more everyday.
"Never." His eyes narrow. "If you try and go out when I am not here Rey, there will be consequences. I will not have you risk yours and our Daughters life. It's not just you I am worried about." He downs his glass and summons Dalah for another one. I look at her worriedly. "Maybe I shouldn't leave."
"No. You need to go. If you don't they will question you and what if they come here." My hands shoots to my stomach. "Don't you trust me?" I tilt my head at him. He smiles wide and lets out a laugh and points his finger at me.
"Don't even do that. I know you." He laughs. He downs another glass and gets up and walks over to me and sits down. He puts his hand on my obnoxious belly. Rubbing small circles. He calls for another glass. Dalah is quick to oblige.
"She's really been active lately, rolling around and kicking my insides like crazy." I giggle. And put my hand on top of his. She kicks under us. "I can't wait to hold her." I sigh.
"I want her to stay in there as long as possible." He chuckles. He downs his whole glass and sets it on the table in front of us.
"Your not the one who is caring her. I want to be able to use the force without draining myself. It's horrible. I feel, restricted. How would I even wield a saber right now. Uuuugghhh, my back hurts!" I tilt my head back on his arm resting across the top of the couch. Kylo frowns at me.
"We'll take it easy when I'm gone. Stay in bed all day if you want. Take a hot bath. Please." He says. Rubbing my stomach still. My skin is tighter than usual feeling and my belly button just barley stays in. I roll my head to the side and look at him.
"Do you have any more good holodiscs I can read?" I ask. His hand stops and he looks at me.
"I have a few. What are you looking for?" He asks. Curious.
"I want to know more about your grandmother." I say. He half smiles and slips his arm out and leaves the room. I hear him ask Dalah for another glass.
Do you plan on getting drunk?
'Maybe'
As I wait for him I fumble with the necklace, I want to know more about it. He comes back in the room with a full glass and a white holodisc in his hand.
"Her name was Padme. She was beautiful, like you." He smiles at me and hands me the disk. "It's a shame she died so young." His face sad.
"How did she die?" I play with the gold disc in my hand.
"That's the mystery though. In the records of the Sith, it is said my grandfather killed her in a fit of rage when he turned to the dark side. But when I found the records to this place..." He shifts his body and looks across the room, his body uncomfortable. "It is said she died because she lost the will to live. A broken heart." He looks at me.
"Like I will if you get killed by the Resistance." All the color drains from my face.
"That won't happen. I promise." He says.
"Even though I'm worried about that still happening, believe me. I'm more worried about who would take care of Ana if something happened to the both of us. This bond. Oh.. Kylo. How did we not think of this!" I stand up and walk to the arch that connects this room to the main dinning room ares. Kylo stands up and catches my wrist wiping me around to look at him.
"That is not going to happen." He says sternly. "Just take my word for it."
"I think we should tell someone, have a black up plan." I say. He looks at me its disgust and slices his hand though the air.
"Absolutely not!" He yells and turns around towards the table, he runs his hand through his hair and turns around to face me again.
"What about Poe Dameron? He knows, he's trustworthy. I can find him and ask him." Kylo takes a step forward and grabs my arms.
"Don't you ever speak of this again." He says. His voice as dark as night, sending chills through my body. He walks around me into the main room and listen as his footsteps go up the stairs before going to pic up the gold holodisc off the couch. I turn and go look for Dalah. I find her in the kitchen making lunch.
"Lady Rey, would you like some teá?" She is always so polite. I think that's what I love most about her.
"Yes, please. Can I have an apple too." I go and sit by the small table overlooking the lake. I stare out the window with my hand resting on my stomach and the other on the arm of the soft chair, propping my head up. I sense Kylos anger from her.
"Here you go miss. Can I get you anything else?" She asks.
"Hmm, noo, I think I'm okay for now. Thank you Dalah." I say and smile at her. She leaves me in the kitchen alone. I take a bite of the apple and set the holodisc on the table and stare at it. I'm waiting till Kylo leaves to open it. A sudden shadow in the doorway startles me. I jump up and grab my chest, almost chocking on the apple. Kylo is dressed in full armor, except his mask. Which is perched between his arm and side. He hasn't worn this attire in eight weeks. It's strange to see him so... Dark. He rushes to my side and rubs my back.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He says softly. I stand up from the chair. Kylo helps me after noticing my slow movements.
"It's okay." I put my hand on his chest. Leaving the holodisc for later reading. "Are you leaving now?" His change of clothes confuses me. He said he had to leave at night.
"The sooner I leave the sooner I can come back." He says. He touches my jawline and then runs his leather gloved hand down my bare arm. He grabs my wrist and leans in to kiss me, setting his helmet on the table behind me. His hand sprawls out on my back and pulls me in to deepen the kiss. I don't want him to leave yet. He pulls away and grabs my hand leading me out to the patio area. He turns and grabs my other hand to clasp them both between his large hand. "I'll be back before you know it." He says. Shifting his helmet in his arm. He seems uncomfortable.
"At least I have Dalah to keep me company." I smile up at him. He shrugs his shoulder.
"No one knows your here. You are safe. I won't be to far." He sounds worried. His tone gentle. He lets go of my hands to tuck a flying hair behind my ear. Sending goosebumps through my body. I rest my hands on my stomach and frown at him, looking down at my growing ball.
"What if someone does come... What, what do I do?" I ask him. He hesitates for a minute before going back into the house, leaving me on the patio. I walk over to one of the columns and lean against it, waiting for Kylo to come back. His hand on my shoulder startles me. In his hand he has my lightsaber.
"Just use this. But I assure you, your safe here." He smiles down at me and I take my saber from him. "I love you my sweet Rey." He gives me a final kiss and walks down the stairs to the dock. I turn and walk inside. To upset to watch him leave.
**goodmorning everyone! sorry i took the weekend off with my boys. we enjoyed the nice summer weather. I hope you enjoy this chapter, things will heat up again soon. I promise xxx -SSL **