Chapter 52: Decisions
Once inside Kylos dark home in the clouds, he removes his mask and throws it on the couch before twirling me around to grab my face and kiss me. I kiss him back, holding onto his arms for steadiness. He lets me go and presses his forehead against mine.
"I was worried." He says quietly.
"Why didnt you come? Why him?" I ask. Closing my eyes, soaking in his scent.
"Because he was closer. I was in the middle of something." He says.
"This is so confusing." I sigh, pulling away from him. "I am running from Snoke, from anyone finding out. Now Arsland knows. Are you sure you can trust him? He was bleeding so bad, will he be okay?"
"He will be fine." He says. "He is my most trusted Knight, he wont say anything. I assure you, he knows better than to cross me."
"You didn't answer me or talk to me for two weeks. Two weeks..." I whisper the last part.
"Im sorry, Its better to keep some things separate from you right now." He says. I grimace at thoughts of what he could possibly hide, what Dark tales. "I could feel you..." He says.
"Your mother looks worried. She only came to help... She is still your mother. Our child's grandmother." I can't control my emotions right now. My fingers tremble. Im just trying to make sense of the last few hours, sleep weighing heavily on my eyelids. All I want to do it have him hold me, I have missed him so much. But I can't keep running from both sides. "And you should of let me handle it! I wouldn't have went with them. I want to be with you! " I said. "What now huh?" I sob into my hands.
"Enough!" He yells. I jump, stifling my sobs and wide eyes looking at him. "Do not talk about her." His voice booming in the round room. "You don't think I know that! You don't think I realize every damn day how much closer we are till that baby gets here. You don't think I know what is at risk. I have been here trying to keep the Resistance at bay and here they are chasing you." He says. I ball my little hand up.
"I am done arguing with you. I am to exhausted I can barley stand, thank you..." I snort, "You are so obtuse." I spin around and head towards the stairs. But Kylo marches over and grabs my arm. "Let me go. I am done talking to you."
"I am not done with you." His eyes stare deep into mine. "You are not alone in this, you may feel like you are but you are not. You and me are in this together, I would never let anything happen to you. Stop acting like you are fighting this battle alone." His words ring in my ears. His heart pounding in my cheat along with mine. He lets go of my arm but doesn't stop staring at me.
"Well I feel like I am!" I yell. I push memories of the last two weeks into his mind. Me walking in meadow alone, looking up at the sky and waiting for him, waiting for anything from him in the back of my mind. Sometimes I would count his heartbeats just to feel close to him. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I had been alone for so long on Jakku that the comfort of someone now known to me, makes me feel even more alone when he's gone. I show him me crying myself to sleep because I'm scared to have this baby. I'm scared I'll raise it alone. Everything I had to contemplate the last few weeks and had time to think about while my stomach grew bigger everyday. I pushed my final thought into his head, me... standing on the balcony overlooking the lake towards the field he would come back home too. And stand there, for hours. The mistress of the Dark Lord... The idea makes me shutter as I pull out of his mind.
"I..." He starts but I feel the warm liquid fall down my lip as his eyes look away from mine and down. A sharp pain jabs my side and I grab it and hiss at the pain. Kylo reaches for me but I step back.
"Leave me alone." I hiss.
"I'm calling the doctor." He walks past me to the panel on the wall and punches in a few numbers, before mumbling something into it. He turns his attention back to me. My side erupts into a burning sensation and makes me fall to my knees. I groan at the unusual pain. Kylo is behind me lifting me to my feet and leading me to the couch.
"Its all your yelling and what did I tell you about the force? It isn't good for you or the baby. That's why I tell you not to worry. Just lay here for a minute. The doctor will be here in soon." Once I'm laying down on my side he kneels down in front of me. He runs his finger over my top lip and his other hand rests over my stomach. His touch is warm and comforting but the pain isn't subsiding. His other hand reaches up and his fingers rub my scalp inside my hair. Darkness quickly overwhelms me.
I wake up to muffled voices. They get louder as I come to. I try and sit up but my focus isn't back yet. I feel like I just went 10 round with the electroblade. A warm hand is on my shoulder and a voice is in my ear.
"Lay back down." Kylos calm voice says. I do as I'm told. Rubbing my temple slightly. My head throbbing.
"What do you mean?" Kylo snears from far away it sound like.
"The babies are fine, she is fine. Her vitals are stable. I suggest no further stress. Her body is fragile as it is." The familiar voice of the Doctor says. I keep my eyes close as the words swirl around in my head. When I come back to the word "babies" I sit strait up. Kylo and the doctor and at the end of the couch both shoot their heads to me. Kylos arms are crossed, his eyebrows creased. My vision is slightly blurry still, I grab the side of my head to steady myself.
"Babies?" I choke the word out.
"I'm sorry miss, seems I have made a mistake in my last visit. If I would have been allowed more access to you. I would have been able to detect this early on." He says. I look down at my stomach. Why can't I see another child in them. Is she only showing me her?
"I don't believe you." I say to them. I stand up, swaying alittle. Kylo steps forward but stops when I put my hand up. I want to do something myself. "Let me see." I notice the doctor is still holding the same tiny tablet as last time. He looks at Kylo and he nods. Slowly he creeps towards me and hands me the tablet. My free hand shoots to my mouth and I have to sit back down.
I'm looking at two babies now, their little faces look like actual little faces. I bring my hand down and trace their little noses, their faces so similar but I can see subtle differences. A tear escapes my face and lands on the screen.
"Two..." I say out loud. Kylo walks around and sits down next to me.
"A boy..." He says.
"I don't understand... How did you miss this?... How did I miss this?" I look up at the green skinned man. Dr. Greken's face tense with worry. "Two Kylo... What are we going to do?" Tears streaming down my face.
"It explains why your so easily drained. You Rey, carry two of the most powerful force sensitive beings to be ever live... You just don't understand... now... There are 3 of you I must protect." He says. He grabs my hand and squeezes it quick before getting up and excuses the Doctor to his ship. The door shuts and we are alone. My hands rub my stomach.
"Two..." I whisper. "Who are you little boy? Why are you hiding from me?" I question my stomach, no wonder I thought Ana was so active. Now it's Ana and Baby B. I'm speechless. Kylo is still facing the door when I look up, his head down. He looks over to me as soon as I rise from my spot. He turns and just glares at my stomach. It makes me uncomfortable.
"I can't say I'm upset, because the idea of having a successor thrills me." He says.
"No child of mine will ever be a sith!" I yell back. I regret it as soon as I say it because Kylos face darkens, his eyes blacken with anger. I can feel it soar through me.
"They are not just your children. They are also mine. Don't forget that." He stomps towards me but stops half way. "My son will follow in my footsteps, something I had planned for our daughter, but now... Now there is a heir to the throne of Knights." His voice proud, booming. He's so thrilled that it sickens me.
"And if I don't allow it?" I say to him.
"You will." He closes the gap between us. He squats down in front of me to be face to stomach with my belly. My mind still trying to wrap around the idea of two babies. I look back down at the little screen. He reaches his hand up, slowly this time. He caresses my stomach with both hands. "Wow... Two."
"I can't stay here Kylo."
"The doctor said to rest. Now that they will most likely come earlier that expected." He stands up and walk around the couch towards the kitchen running his hand through his hair. I take a deep breath and stand up to follow him, grabbing him by the elbow and slowing him down. He stops but doesn't look at me.
"I love you. I don't want to be without you. Isn't there something you can do? Kill Snoke or something?" I say. Just trying to figure out what is the best option for us. And it seems the biggest problem is Snoke. "What's the worst thing that can happen?" I say to him. He stiffens and turns, his eyes narrow at me and he steps out of my hold on his elbow. He clears his throat and points awkwardly at me.
"Are you suggesting I kill Supreme Leader? You severely underestimate him. He would kill me in a heartbeat and then you, and then..." He looks down at my stomach and then back at me, "Absolute death, no mercy." He says. He isn't saying...nooooooo.
"Why not?"
"He will kill me." Kylo whispers.
"There must be some weakness he has. You have been with him how long. He did not once tell you something that weakens him?" I ask. He still isn't saying no.
"You have no idea what your asking Rey. This is not just someone you turn against and are forgiven. Drop it." He says. He turns and walks away. I snort and cross my arms. I stomp over to the stairs and glance at him. He's hanging over his desk. Palms flat against the top. I sigh and walk up the stairs to shower and change.
After I find a pair of my sweatpants and one of Kylos shirts, I get cozy in bed. I stare out the one open blind at the clouds, watching them slowly pass by. I need to figure out what to do. I move my hand down to my stomach. Two babies... Two... What will I name him? Oh I bet he will be so handsome, like his father. No doubt. I can't wait to see them and hold them. The longer they stay in the better. I hear heavy footsteps pound up the stairs. My heart quickens and I struggle up in bed to sit and face him when he reaches the top. He doesn't look at me, he grabs some clothes and heads into the bathroom.
So your mad at me?
'I'm just trying to figure things out'
I fall back in bed and sigh. Just waiting for him to get out of the shower. I start crying, tears flowing down my cheeks. I'm so overwhelmed. I cover my eyes with my hands and sob. Is this real life. I feel a warm hand pushing my hands way from my eyes.
"When I'm not near you, I feel hollow. Empty. I'm not use to it. Forgive me if I come off as... Protective. But you are the most important thing I have." He's shirtless, in the pants I love. Hovering over me with sincere eyes. I could get lost in those eyes.
"I'm scared." I sniffle and more tears flow out.
"I know you are Love, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Alright?" He says.
"What are you going to do." I say. My voice shakes.
"Anything necessary." His eyes narrow. "I'm going to kill The Supreme Leader." He pulls away and eases off the bed and starts pacing the room. Rubbing his chin. I sit up and wide eyed look at him.
"But you said he will kill you." I wipe my face with my hands. He stops and looks at me. His profile looks so... Alluring... In the shadow of the soft light.
"I'm willing to die to protect you." He says. And starts pacing again.
"What will happen to me if..." I stop, I don't want to think about Kylo dieing.
"You need to go back to the Resistance." He says. My heart stops. I slowly slide off the bed and walk over to him.
"What are you talking about?" I say.
"If something happens to me, they will protect you from the First Order. If I succeed I will come back for you. You will know where to find me." He grabs my elbows. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "It's the only way. My mother won't allow harm to come to you and those babies." He opens his eyes, his face softens and he reaches up and strokes my cheek.
"I don't want to leave you. I can't." I whisper. Holding back tears.
"There is no other way. I love you to much to allow something to happen to you, to our children." He says. I try and think about what he is saying. I pull away and walk around in circles. Stopping and looking down at my growing belly. I can't see my feet. I run my hands around my bump. I need to think about them. I need to protect them. I look over to him.
"How long?" I say. I'm hoping just a few days.
"I don't know. I need time... Time to figure out a plan. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I want to make sure I can live through it." He says. "Obviously."
"I don't want you to miss the birth." I say.
"I'll be happy that your even alive to give birth." He says, he's raising his voice but not enough to make me think iv upset him.
"When." I choke.
"Tomorrow." He sighs. "I'm going to take you to the lake house and you will contact them from there to get you. I will say the captured you... To buy me time." He walks away from me, covering his face.
"I... I... I can't believe your going to do this. What if I never see you again?" I walk over and reach up and touch his shoulder. He slowly turns. Tears running down his face.
"It's a chance we need to take. To ensure they are safe. You are safe." He says. "I need you far away from here, but also protected. My Knights can't protect you. If something happens to me, Supreme Leader will order them to turn. I... I..." I reach up and wipe a falling tear with my thumb. He is so vulnerable right now. "I... I can't bare to think of one of them killing you."
This can't be real life.
"But if you die... The bond..." My mind shoots back to the bond.
ONE BY THE HAND OF THE ENEMY, ONE BY A BROKEN HEART
"Your heart can't be broken when you will be filled with two more to love. I don't believe that." He says. He wraps his hand around my neck. His hand warm. He pulls me in for a slow kiss, it's warm and deep. I feel his love, his worry, his pain, his sorrow, his emptiness. I feel his need to protect me. A lasting kiss. His other hand fall to my side and pulls me in till my stomach hits his. His thumb brushing along my jaw. I pull away.
"Your grandmother died of a broken heart. Am I going to end up like her? My children separated." I say, I choke on my words. "She lost the will to live. If you die..." I clutch my chest, a hollow feeling fills me, an aching hole.
"So you did read it all...You need to push on. For them." He says. He pulls me slightly till the back of his calves hit the bed. He sits down in front of me. His head in front of my stomach. He lifts my shirt up and stairs at my big round stomach. I watch his eyes flicker around and he slowly lifts his hand to each side of my stomach. He closes his eyes and leans his head forewords and rests it on top of my bump. We stay like this for awhile, in silence. I start swaying at how tired my limbs are. Kylo catches on and pushes me back alittle to stand up. He steps to the side and in one swift action scoops me into his arms and sets me down. I'm still really light to him. He lays behind me and puts his hand around my chest and his other under my pillow. Pulling me close. He runs slow kisses down my neck and nudges me with his nose. Tears slowly falling from my eyes and I fall fast asleep in his warmth.
** Hi everyone! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and where the story is going, things are about to speed up a little and might slow back down. I'm sad I'm making the, split, but it's necessary. To move forward with my plannnnnnnnns. 😊
P.s. Would love some boy name ideas 😊
Thank you for all the reviews! I love themmm all!**