Chapter 59: Adjusting
Halfway through my sand which I hear Ana call for me.
"Mama, mama." I hear. I scoot from the chair and walk into the empty living room, Kylo nowhere to be seen but our bedroom door cracked open so he must be in there. I walk through the hallway to Anas room and slowly open the door. She just sitting in her crib, looking at all the new things to her. The walls and decorations. Her eyes wide with wonder until she spots me and smiles. She puts her hands out and I slowly walk to her.
"Hi my princess. Did you have a nice nap?" I say to her while scooping her onto my hip and walking around the room, rummaging through drawers looking for necessities. Kylo was fully prepared. I find her a new outfit and change her diaper and clothes. Running my fingers through her thick black tossed hair. Gathering it into a small ponytail on top her head. "Perfect." I scoop her up off the floor and walk over to Kylans room to wake and change him.
When I'm done I walk into the living room with a baby on each hip and to my surprise Kylo is sitting on the couch. Just watching us. Ana lets out a giggle and Kylan bops her on the cheek. She retaliates by pushing him.
"Stop you two." They both look at me and stop. I set them down on the couch and in a matter of seconds they are off and causing mischief. Ana holding onto the couch for support as she stands. Kylan walking over to the large windows and tapping on it.
"Kylan stop..." I start to walk over to stop him. Kylo grabs my wrist as I walk by, stopping me.
"They can't break anything, that glass can sustain a blast from any ship. I'm sure it's baby prof." He pulls me down and I fall into his lap. He starts trailing kisses down my exposed neck, sends shivers through my spin. I crumble into his arms and he swiftly moves so his laying on top of me on the couch. I look over at Ana, just bouncing up and down while grabbing to the side of the couch, close to my head. Just looking at us. Looking at Kylo. I look back up and Kylo who is still looking over me and Ana.
"Are they everything you thought they would be?" I ask. He looks down at me, just looking over my face. I get butterflies in my stomach, almost like he is a forbidden fruit I shouldn't be eating. But iv longed for him for so long. My insides crave his touch, to make this all a reality. Finally here with him.
"More." He leans down and kisses me, digging his erection into my thigh. He lets out a small groan from his throat. He pulls away and just touches my cheek. I close my eyes and just enjoy his warmth. I open my eyes and look at him.
"I need to make them something to eat." I say.
"I have to make a few calls. We will finish this later." He leans down and gives me a small kiss before pushing himself up, his weight shifting off me almost makes me sad. He puts a hand out to help me up. I take his left hand and stand up to we are flush against each other. "I don't know how much longer I can't wait." He rolls his eyes and kisses my neck and pulls away, going off into one of the other doors in the hallway.
It takes me a second to compose myself. I don't even like not being in the same room as Kylo now. I long for his touch. I still don't believe I'm actually here. I chase Kylan around, tickling him once I reach his silly self. I scoop him up and blow kisses on his shifted shirt that is exposing his chubby belly.
"Want to eat?" I say to him, he stops wiggling under my grasp. He loves to eat. I set him down and hold his hand as we slowly walk to Ana. I pick her up from the floor as she slowly crawls to make her way to the window. "Come here little girl." I pick her up in my arm, facing her outward on my hip. I bring them into the kitchen and look around for somewhere to sit them and feed them. I decide to set them on the floor and look around for something for them.
After supper I take the kids into Anas room, pulling out some of the small toys in the corner, Kylo really was so prepared. The thought of if he never found us and this being an empty room forever saddens me. The three of us play on the fluffy white round rug on the floor. It's softer than any fur iv ever felt. Of course it is.
"Have they shown any signs of force yet?" He says. Startling me. I turn around and he's standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame.
"Don't scare me like that." I say and laugh. I stand up from the floor and walk over to him wrapping me arms around him and just snuggling into his chest. He is wearing the pants I love and a black short sleeve shirt. His electronic silver arm in full view. I look down at it, examining it. It doesn't bother me. If anything it makes him more alluring.
"Do they?" He asks. I totally forgot he even asked a question.
"Oh, no. Not yet." I say. "Is that a bad thing?" I pull away, leaving my fingers interlocked behind his back.
"Not necessarily." He says and looks over me at the two precious littles playing with the blocks on the floor. "Usually starts around one." He smiles and looks down at me. Without answering I just burry my head into his chest again. Inhaling his scent.
"Like they not already a handful." I laugh.
"Their perfect." He says and kisses the top of my head. "I need to leave for a few hours. I have something to take care of."
I let go and step back.
"But...but... I just got here." I say. Tears welling in my eyes. I am not trying to sound needy. But I crave his affection right now, and the last thing I want him to do is leave.
"I know love, I know." He steps forward and grabs my face, using his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. "It only for a short time. I am the Supreme Leader now. My presence is needed in certain places at certain times. You must understand that." He sighs, kissing my forehead and looking at me again. "You, Kylan, and Ana are always going to be my main priority. I swear. But in order to keep you safe, I need to keep order. Okay?"
His demeanor is so calm, everything about him right now just convinces me he is telling truth. This man loves me, and I know that now more than ever. Building us a palace in the mountains... Ironically on top of the biggest weapon in the galaxy.
Sometimes I still find it hard to hide my anger and disgust for the First Order, because my love for him surpasses that hate.
"Oh Kay." I whisper back.
"I'll be back before your ready to go to bed." He smiles at me. He rubs another tear off my cheek and kisses me softly on the lips before slowly slipping away into the hallway. He's gone before I even open my eyes. My heart sinks but I snap back and realize I can't fall apart, not now, not in front of the babies. I turn and continue playing with them, suddenly overwhelmed with feelings that I'm forced to burry for the moment.
A few hours pass, the kids are feed, bathed, and ready for bed. Their eyes heavy. I take my time, tucking each one baby in and admiring their relaxed sleeping faces. Thankful that I have beds to put them in.
I slowly shut Ana's door and walk out into the living room to pick up the mess from today. Looking around the room at the messed up pillows, some loose little toys that made their way out here, and the blanket piled on the floor makes me laugh. For the first time in so long I feel at home. My heart sinks, realizing Kylo isn't here.
So I clean up everything quick. Making sure not to leave a thing out of place. I watch out the window for while at the terrain down below. It's rough with woods, reminds me of the Starkiller to much and my body shivers. I hear the main doors behind me slide opens and jump, startled. I turn around clutching my chest in shock. It's just Kylo... But he's wearing full uniform. Head to toe, and I haven't seen him like this in what seems like a lifetime. For once I'm actually intimidated by it.
"Oh," I gasp. He reaches up and unhisses his helmet. His black hair falling perfectly in place along the sides of his face.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He says. He walks over and places his helmet down on the corner pedestal before looking at me with his soft eyes.
"You didn't." I say.
"Your lying." He says. "Does it intimidate you?" He points to his mask.
"Yes but no. I guess it will just take some time to adjust to it again. The kids are asleep, they should be fine all night." I say. He smiles wide and as he makes his way over to me, he starts stripping off his extras. He throws his gloves on the couch, his cloak on the floor and undoes his boots and tosses them to the side before reaching me. Embracing me in his arms. "Iv waited all day for this. Not that I didn't want to see the kids. But I just needed..." He squeezes me a little tighter so I return by giving him a light squeeze back. My heart flutters. "...I just need to touch you. To make sure your really here."
"I feel the same way." My eyes still closed, my cheek buried in his chest. He pulls away and looks at me from head to toe and in a swift motion, scoops me into his arms. I let out a loud laugh in surprise. Wrapping my arms around his neck. He starts walking to the bedroom.
We kicks open the slightly cracked door and heads strait for the bed. Lightly tossing me on it before stripping off another layer of his clothes. I watch as he undoes his arm wrap, paying close attention the the mechanics of his right hand. Only the best.
"What does it feel like?" I say quietly. I don't wanna ruin the mood but the question flowed out involuntarily. He finishes unwrapping and looks at me.
"Nothing." He says. His bare arms make my insides heat. Just seeing him in general is hard to believe I'm actually married to this God.
He's standing at the side of the bed in just his pants, tossing his shirt to the side. My eyes tracing every perfect line of of muscles, he's built for speed and defense. He catches me staring.
"Is everything okay?" He ask, snapping me out of it.
"Yeah, yeah..." I look up at him. "I just..." He's batting his eyelashes at me in that way that I between my legs starts to simmer. "I'm admiring your more defined muscles." I say. Trying to be serious but I want to smile and laugh at myself.
"Iv had to release my anger in training... Maybe a little excessively." He laughs. He kneals on the edge of the bed and start crawling to me, I'm sitting cross legged on the far side. Effortlessly he grabs my ankle and pulls me fast underneath him, pinning me on my back under him.
It feels like the first time all over, nervous to touch his bare skin with my hands. My fingers trembling.
"What's wrong? " He says.
"Nothing," I blink up at him. "Kiss me."
He shakes his head, smiling and leans down and kisses me. For a few minutes our bodies intertwine together. In a motion of love and need. My hands in his hair and on his back. He grunts and pulls away.
"Your still dressed." He says. Looking down at my clothes. He pulls away till he is on his knees over my ankles. He reaches up and slowly pulls down my pants. Taking his time as more exposed skin comes into sight, he bites his bottom lip and bends my leg to pull them all the way off. He repeats on the other ankle. I feel so exposed. Just in my underwear and tshirt now. I slowly slide my ankles out from under him and sit up. I reach down and pull my shirt off, just leaving me in my bra and underwear. Kylos eyes scan the surfaces of my skin before meeting my gaze. "Your so beautiful."
He shuffles over to me, grabbing my face and kissing me. And the. Somehow sweeping me on top of him so he is on his back and I'm Stratford over him. Kissing him slowly and deeply. I feel his erection pressing against the thin fabric separating us.
He lets out a moan and I push down and rubbing against him. His hands leave my face, slowly skimming down my body and cupping my butt. I let out a little giggle and pull back. He smiles big up at me and flops me onto my back. Running his hand up the back of my thigh and down my leg, slowly back up and traveling his thumb over the thin fabric of my underwear. I slowly arch my back, the heat burst between my legs.
Wanting more. He kisses my neck slowly and he moves the underwear to the side with his finger and runs his thumb down my sex. He stops for a second when his finger comes into contact with how wet I am.
His other hand under my back tenses and he continues, inserting his thumb and starting a circular motion, my whole body shivers and heats. I let out a small moan. He pulls away,creating a cool breeze. He slips my underwear off. And slowly pulls off the rest of his clothes, I sit up and unhook my bra while he isn't looking, when he turns back his eyes drop to my now exposed breasts and back to my face. His eyes full of desire. He reaches up and runs his finger down my breast, circling my nipple and over to my side and down.
"I have never seen something so beautiful. And to think know your only mine..." He runs his hands up my arms and slowly lowers me onto the bed, laying on top of me. He starts kissing my neck, slowly moving to my collarbone before sucking on my breast a little. Giving me a small bite and then pulling back up to meet our needing lips.
His kiss is deep, he runs his length along my dripping opening, teasing. I have never wanted him more than in this moment. I have never wanted anything more. He pulls his lips away, positions himself just right before entering. In a swift motion he fills me. My finger grip into his back and I told my head back. Both our eyes shut we feel it at the same time.
The spark.
The return.
I feel the force shift around us, twirling around like an uncontrolled storm. The items on the dresser start to vibrate. I open my eyes and look up to meet Kylos, so full of love and passion. He slowly starts moving in and out. Pushing alittle deeper and harder each time. I feel him entering my soul, my void filling. It starts from our contact and slowly seeps up to my heart and then pours through my body. The warm tingling sensation, his life coming together with mine.
He slows his pace, "I can feel your..." He mumbles against my neck and he trails kisses and his hips rotate into mine. The heat growing.
"I can too." I say, arching my back when a slow foreign feeling enters my heart, one not mine but Kylos, his need.
His need to please me, both here and out of the bedroom. A need to be a great father, better than his own. And a need to protect. Protect what he loves. His love filling me with joy, happiness, completeness.
I have never loved this man more than I do now, to know what loosing him would now mean. To know what being apart is. I will never do anything to loose this. I will do anything to protect my family... He picks up his rhythm and I feel my body ready to explode, I can feel Kylo too. He's ready. I climax, my whole body releasing. Ready to collapse. And he slows and stops. Panting on top of me his fingers digging into my hip.
He pulls out and shuffles to lay next to me. Wrapping me in his arms. Kissing the back of my neck. I slowly drift into sleep. My body exhausted.
I wake to an empty bed, pitch blackness except for a crack of the door being open. I pull the satin sheet off the bed and wrap it around me. Making my way to slowly open the door. I see Kylo, standing legs slightly parted, in his pants I love, with his hands behind his back. I take not of his left mechanical foot, I didn't even notice in bed.
He senses me and turns slowly. His eyes looking me up and down. My hair a mess, and a blanket warped around my chest, arms exposed. One leg popping out.
"I have never seen you look more radiant." He says. I slowly walk to him, reaching up with my hand not hold the blanket up and touch his face.
"I feel it all again, everything. Like you never left." I smile at him. He places his hand over mine and leans against it.
"I know. It's wonderful." He says.
"Can I ask you something?" I say. He pulls my hand down but doesn't let go of it.
"Anything." He says.
"Can you tell me about how you killed Snoke?" I ask. Worried about his reaction but I need to know. I want to know what happened to him. I want to know everything and right now his guard is town, maybe he will tell me more.
"Okay..." He says. He turns and looks out the window and back down and my hand and tuning it over to examine the lines in my palm.
And then k hear it, in the back of my mind. The voice that hasn't invaded my head in so long, but I welcomed it. Closing my eyes and absorbing the feeling of him again.
'It all started...'
**Thank you everyone for just being so patient and kind, i love the reviews and all the support! Your are all amazing :) 3 -SSL**