I gotta tell you...hearing all the thoughts from first time readers is awesome! All I can say is...don't worry.

And no...this is NOT the murder/suicide fic.

So...you don't want to hear me whine...skip this next part:

As I'm sitting in the optometrist's office, finding out my five year old has such a terrible astigmatism that its either she wears glasses or a PATCH (!) my husband (who is STILL living at a friends house because he just isn't ready to take care of anyone else) calls to tell me instead of the six month prognosis for his mother who has lung/brain cancer...they think she'll be gone before Christmas. Top my day off with my weekly salary being dropped by $130 a week.

End whine.

Start perv...

Love you :-)

Chapter Three

Guilty Conscience

Even though I know you can't see me from the street, I may not be pulling it off as well as I think I am.

I think you know I'm watching you, and I think you're putting on a show.

I think…

Fuck, I think I may be jerking off while standing in front of an exposed window in broad daylight.

Yep…

My cock is out, throbbing and needy.

My hand is stroking, but I bet it would feel even better if it was your little fingers wrapped around me.

My eyes are watching, coffee forgotten, as you slow down slightly when you pass the house.

Dirty girl.

What I wouldn't give to bend you over the couch behind me and fuck you into oblivion before I turn you around and worship you until you can't move.

You would scream my name either way.

I know you would.

*()*()*

As I watch you, I wonder who will be there for you when you get home.

Is there a man there waiting at the door?

I wonder if he knows how blessed he is to have you walk into his arms.

We all think the grass is greener on the other side.

Is that my problem?

I'm pretty sure it's not. If you were mine, I would bow down to you. I would do whatever you asked of me. I would kiss every stretch mark. I would throw you a fucking tickertape parade for every mile you ran.

I would…fuck. I think the kids are up.

I should get this wall cleaned up before they come barreling down the steps, demanding breakfast.

Oh well.

I'll see you tomorrow.

*()*()*

Shit.

It's raining.

But I know you.

I know a few drops of rain won't keep you down. It's fucking Seattle after all. We expect rain and are surprised when the sun shines, causing mass pandemonium as everyone rushes outside to bask in the rays. That's just how it is.

I know I should stop this…my obsession with watching you is out of control.

I felt like a pervert when Gracie caught me with a bowl of hot water and a washcloth, cleaning off the wall yesterday morning.

But I can't help it.

I know you'll be there, you need me. This is like our little secret.

Does thinking about me watching you turn you on? Are you surprised to get home and find your panties are not just wet with sweat, but soaked for me?

Are you even wearing panties?

I bet you go home and slide your fingers over your belly and down to where you're aching. Do you wish it was me touching you?

You know I would.

I would do anything for you.

Gah...see...it HAS to be Edward.

See you...ah hell...you know I'll see you later on today :)