Jealousy and No More Need...
It had started happening when Ana was 14.
Christian had noticed she'd become shyer. Troubled, even. She had changed from the carefree, giggly girl he'd known, who always asked him questions and would smile at anything. She'd become more quieter and distant, even, in the matter of a few months.
Christian had suspected it was because his young charge had begun high school, a huge milestone for any young girl. Just as he'd predicted, she had made a new friend rather easily and quickly, another girl called Kate. He'd seen her friend wave goodbye to Ana one day while he was waiting to walk with her home from school, and, (as Ana described her) the girl was everything Ana wished she could be more like.
Kate was heavily into fashion and socializing. Ana had begun to doubt herself, fearing there was something wrong with her, all because she felt she didn't have as much interest in the things other girls her age did. Ana did not find anything interesting about make-up, fashion, or the latest technology. She was more into reading- reading classic literature and then watching their movie adaptations- and learning about the world, learning about travel and the current problems in the world at large.
He'd tried to reassure her again and again that there was nothing wrong with her. In his eyes, she was normal as normal could be. But even despite him telling her that and the way he'd tried so hard to to send reassuring, calm sensations her way, he could still feel her doubt, her hesitance to believe him.
Nothing much had changed the two years later, aside from his charge going through her huge monumental changes of starting high school while battling to fit in and make new friends.
He still walked with her to school every morning, waving her off while she went to class. And the instance all her classes were over and home-time came, he was still there, waiting for her loyally and waiting as Ana walked out of the school doors along with a crowded group of other loud students; her being the quietest one out of the lot.
She still wanted him to walk her to and from school; something that hadn't changed despite how older she was getting. But he could sense her needing him less and less.
...
Her mother had fortunately spared him what was bound to be an awkward conversation on what her body was going through.
Just four months into turning thirteen, Ana had woken during the night to pain in her stomach. She'd been complaining every time he spoke with her that she'd been feeling funny; As if something wasn't right.
Her wide, fearful blue eyes had found him the instance she'd searched for him, sitting where he always was, sitting on the armchair near her closed curtains with his long legs stretched out comfortably, guarding over her, making sure she was safe.
"Can't sleep?" he'd murmured to her in confusion when it had became clear to him that sleep was not something his charge had been interested in doing that night. He could feel her, sense everything she was feeling- how alert she felt, how queasy with nerves.
She'd grimaced and shaken her head at him as she'd sat up, pulling the sheets off her legs while drawing them up to her chest. Christian hadn't been totally sure what was happening at the time, but he had noticed a staggering difference about his charge lately.
It seemed as though it had happened basically overnight; He was used to Ana being short but lanky, and then... one morning, she'd suddenly shot up a considerable amount. She'd become slimmer and leaner, longer in the legs and arms. He suspected it was because she had developed an interest in running at school; The only sport she'd told him she apparently felt comfortable with, because she was (in her words) embarrassingly uncoordinated and she couldn't hit any balls straight.
It had taken him a few days to realize the true reason why she was changing. She was growing, like any normal girl her age does. He just hadn't been expecting it to happen so quickly.
Now, she could reach roughly the height of about his shoulders without having to stand on her tiptoes. She could easily reach up and slap his cheek- playfully and gently, mind you- whenever the urge had struck her to.
"I... I swear something's not right, Christian," she'd whispered back to him while curling an arm around her waist, holding her hand below her navel nervously.
Christian hadn't been quite sure what his charge had meant at first. "Do you have a stomach ache?"
"No, I guess I just..." Ana had reached down for one second, rubbing her inner left thigh in confusion. And that was when the blood was there. A bright red smear of blood. "I think something's, um, really weird here? I mean, I... I felt it all today?
He hadn't known much about girls himself at the time. Back in his world, matters of puberty and sex between the opposite sex were not often freely discussed. He suddenly wished he'd asked someone from the elder's counsel, an experienced member, to give him insight into what he must do when this moment came and what was required of him, because when Ana had gulped loudly, bringing up her hand to inspect the small amount of blood on her fingertips, he'd felt a jolt of sheer panic that he wasn't entirely sure who was responsible for.
"Am I..." She'd reached over to switch on her lamp so that she could see better. He hadn't seen his charge appear so frightened before as he had that evening when she'd discovered there was a small amount of blood in her underwear. "Holy crap, I... I'm bleeding?"
Now when he looked back on that night, Christian felt as if he'd truly failed her due to his lack of knowledge when it came to teenage bodies, especially those of the female kind, like his charge. He'd stood from the armchair while approaching her slowly, listening to the way she was breathing harshly, rapidly.
"I think maybe you should tell your mother?" he'd suggested while trying to remain calm. She'd expected him to be the calm one, always looking out for her and knowing what to say or do. He couldn't have let her known he was every bit as worried as she was. "You should call out to her and wake her up. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
"M- my mother? Why? S-shouldn't I call a doctor or something?"
As it had turned out, Ana hadn't been dying or was in serious harm. She wasn't going to die of blood loss or internal bleeding. Christian had been just as stunned as his charge was when, once Ana had finally cried out to her mother, her mother had sat her down on the bed and had explained to her calmly what was going on.
It wasn't any unseen injury. It was her period; something young women apparently naturally get once a month.
Christian had listened to her mother answer all the questions Ana could have possibly had on the subject while he'd sat there, in the armchair, staring down at his hands while he opened them and closed them, pretending to give the pair privacy when really, he was listening closely to everything his charge's mother explained to her.
After her mother had explained to Ana all the ins-and-outs of her body, as well as a demonstration on how to use the sanitary pad while he'd tried his very best to ignore them, he'd felt like a complete and utter failure.
He'd been sent for her, to protect her and yet, he couldn't even explain to her such a simple concept such as hormones and menstruation?
Why hadn't the elders told him that this was bound to happen?
Why leave him in the dark feeling utterly useless with no idea what his young charge had been going through?
He could only be both relieved and thankful that the mother seemed to know everything on the topic yet, at the same time, deep inside his stomach, he felt a strange uncomfortable feeling that he'd never felt before. A feeling of being useless, a feeling of shame and self-torment. How had he not known in order to ease his charge's mind?
But it was rare, he'd had to remind himself while trying to show himself a little self-compassion instead of loathing. What he and Ana were going through, the fact that she could still see him, even now, at her age... it was a complete rarity and unique situation in which he knew no other incidences like this had been documented in his world.
Perhaps that was even why no elders had bothered to inform any others about concepts such as menstruation? There was no awareness of such a thing even existing because, perhaps, no one else had stuck around to be with their charge for as long as he had?
So why? Why were he and Ana seeming to be the only ones experiencing this phenomenally?
...
"Your eyes look different?" Christian had commented one afternoon as they were walking towards home once her day of school had finished.
He'd noticed it the instance she'd rushed out of the double doors, nudging and fighting her way past a barrage of students to get to where he was waiting, always leaning against the fence to meet up with her for their walk home. Up closer, he'd noticed there was a difference about her the second they'd started walking together, falling into their usual companionable, comfortable talking on the way home.
Usually, Ana looked so fresh-faced and pale, but he'd noticed how her eyes looked darker. Above them on the eyelids especially. He was sure she hadn't always looked like that before, with her eyes that way.
"Kate practically forced me into letting her put some eye makeup on during lunch," Ana explained in a soft breathless rush, but he sensed an anxiety there, an air of nervousness.
She glanced over at him while tucking a loose strand of her long brown behind her ear, then she'd clenched her eyes closed in a deliberate, prolonged moment.
Inspecting her while faltering mid-step, Christian saw that her eyelids were a shimmery brown. When she slowly reopened her eyes, meeting his gaze again, he found he had to look away immediately for some reason. The clear blue color of her eyes, combined with the- what did she just say it was?- it made them stand-out and appear more piercing than usual.
"She says it brings out the natural color of my eyes, the shade," she went on, "It's called eye-shadow."
"Eye-shadow," he mused quietly beneath his breath while combing his fingers through his hair. He hadn't heard of eye-shadow before, and it sounded strange, the term, rolling off his tongue.
"Yeah. Eye-shadow." Ana laughed abruptly, a strange note to her laughter that he hadn't heard before.
Like always, he felt that warm tight feeling in his stomach at the sound of it, even if it did sound different today in ways he did not understand. When Christian looked her way questioningly, he saw that she was smiling widely as she glanced ahead of them. He realized she was avoiding his eyes for some reason.
"This is like... role reversal, almost," she explained as another laugh escaped her. "I'm so used to you being the one teaching me things. Like with... times tables and all of that." He watched her as Ana peered down at her hands, a soft pinkness spreading across her cheeks. She was playing with her fingers, twiddling her thumbs around. "This just feels so... weird." Suddenly, she turned to look at him, "Do you find this weird?"
Christian's brows furrowed as he shook his head a little. He wasn't quite sure he understood, "Weird?"
"Never mind. I'm just being... stupid, I guess." She laughed again as she shrugged, brushing it off.
And then things went silent between them. Usually his charge would be constantly talking, explaining how her day went to him, and Christian would listen eagerly, always interested in whatever she had to say. But today it was clearly different. He could sense something there, a difference to her.
They both stopped at the sidewalk, doing what they always did. A habit had been formed, at this very sidewalk, where they'd stop and glance left to right before crossing the road. Christian watched Ana as she glanced around them, making sure there wasn't any cars approaching before she stepped forward, rushing to cross. He'd taught her well, now she knew to always check for cars, and it made his gut swell with pride.
"In bio class, Kate was talking to a few of these guys..." she began once they'd both safely crossed the road. She'd slowed down her pace, to match his, he assumed. "She was asking them to say who the prettiest girls in the class were, and I... I was listening to them, but not really getting involved."
Her eyes whipped to meet his, to make sure he was listening. Christian nodded once to show she had his entire attention captured, but he couldn't help wondering where she was heading with this.
"Anyway, um... so I was listening, and there was six boys answering Kate on who they thought were the prettiest girls in bio class." He started to sense her anxiety, her worry. The feelings flooded through him as if they were his own. "Well, guess who they never mentioned?"
She peered his way quickly before averting her gaze to her hands again, her top teeth sinking into her lower lip.
He felt it all hit him at once, like a bolt of lightening; A sensation of hurt, of rejection. Was she upset that her name hadn't been mentioned? She was upset that none of the six boys in her class had considered her pretty?
This was the first time they had had a conversation of this nature before, and Christian wasn't entirely sure what to say or how to respond. He ran his fingers slowly through his hair while staring at the side of her face, examining her, feeling rather... perplexed.
He got the impression she was waiting for him to say something.
"Anyway, um, it doesn't matter," Ana immediately said with a shrug that sent her bag bobbing up and down around her back and shoulder. As if shoving what she'd just said aside, she lifted both hands up, gathering her long hair in them. "I don't even know why I care so much, but I guess it just..." She inhaled in deeply through her mouth after releasing her lip from her teeth, her fingers pulling her hair to one side over her right shoulder. "It just would have been nice for someone to consider me pretty, you know? Like... it just started to get me wondering?"
Ana was quiet for a moment longer, working her fingers through the ends of her hair, combing it while she held her head down low, chin to her chest.
Christian wondered if he was meant to try cheer her up, like he had whenever she was upset when she was younger. Should he make a joke that would hopefully get her to laugh? Should he tickle her beneath her ribs, even, in that way that used to make her giggle so hard that she was crying?
He felt relieved when she eventually looked at him again, though it was fleeting. "I mean, you're a... a guy, right?"
He tried not to laugh at her words, though the urge to made it difficult. He was positive this was not quite a laughing situation however.
When she looked his way again, he made sure he had her complete and undivided attention this time as he deliberately looked down at the trousers he was wearing, at the area of his groin. He made his voice purposefully lower and ridiculous-sounding as he muttered, "I think so. Last time I checked I was?"
He was rewarded by her giggle and when he met her eyes, he smiled himself at the reaction he had managed to get out of her despite her odd mood. There was nothing more special than the satisfaction of knowing he had succeeded to make his charge laugh and smile, even after all this time.
"Right, so, um, when you look at me, would you, um..." Her nerves were so palpable that it was almost painful for him to endure, "Would you consider me pretty?" The words left her mouth in a whoosh, as though Ana was fearful she wouldn't be able to completely get them out otherwise.
He stopped walking in shock at her unexpected question, the air leaving his lungs. He hadn't expected her to ask such a thing of him before, but when he observed the way she clasped her hand over the strap of her bag and held her head down, as if she were embarrassed, yet the slight hopeful twinkle in her eyes, it occurred to him that she needed this. She needed him to answer her this.
Honestly, Christian hadn't thought of her in that way before. Being with his charge since she were young, he found her many things. Perceptive, intelligent. Smart beyond her years. So much fun to be with, especially when they would get up to mischief together at times.
She was his absolute favorite person in the world, the entire reason he was here. She was his reason for living and, if necessary and needed of him, she would also be his reason for dying.
But did he consider her pretty?
Christian scrutinized her thoughtfully in a way that he hadn't really before. Her friend had been right; The eye-shadow did bring out her eyes, making the blue of her irises pop out against the black of her pupils. Her hair had grown longer over the years and had become darker. Her fringe framed her face in a way that seemed beneficial, highlighting her cheekbones. Did he find her pretty? Was 'pretty' the way to describe how he felt about her?
"It... it's OK," Ana suddenly spoke before he had a chance to get his answer out. She met his eyes for one brief second, then she glanced forward again, her cheeks flushing as what sounded like an exasperated sigh escaped her nose. "You don't... you don't have to answer that, Christian." The offense she felt blew through him like a fire catching a branch alight. "I can see you don't want to anyway."
He licked his lips as he blurted, "Yes."
He could tell she was both relieved and happy at his answer.
Ana looked over at him, her lips parting as if surprised. Then once his positive answer seemed to sink in, she lowered her head, her cheeks lifted in that very revealing way that told him she was grinning.
Christian felt an odd sensation in his chest as he stared at her, a feeling he definitely had not felt before, nor experienced once since Anastasia became his charge. He wasn't quite sure how to describe the feeling or how to aptly put it into words, but... it felt as if his heart (did he even have one?) was being crushed in his chest. "I... I think you're the most prettiest girl I've ever seen, Ana."
She lifted her head to look at him, her eyes searching his as a large smile made her cheeks tremble. "And you're not just saying that?" He could feel her doubt, her slight unwillingness to believe him.
He held her eyes as that odd feeling came to him again, but it was a milder feeling he felt at the happiness that radiated off her, the shyness. His heart felt warm and... soft. Like a sponge filled with warm gushing water, in a sense. He couldn't understand what it was, what it meant.
"I'm not just saying that," he assured her, looking deeply into her eyes so she could see he was being honest.
Ana glanced around to make sure that no one was near them that could overhear her talking, then she moved closer, resting her head against Christian's arm as they walked leisurely. "Are you sure you're not just feeling obligated to say that because I'm pretty much you're most favorite person?"
"I'm not. While you are my favorite person and will probably always be, I won't lie, I'm also telling you the truth. I do find you to be the prettiest girl. Those other boys at your school? Well, they're just jerks."
"Yeah, they are," she murmured, licking her lips as she held her cheek against the fabric of his dress shirt, at his arm. "They are jerks."
It occurred to him he wasn't just saying it to reassure his charge, to make her feel better- as was his responsibility. He wasn't telling her that to make her happy or to make her feel more positive about her school experience. He realized he actually truly felt that way about her.
He'd seen many at her school as he waited for her walking past. In fact, all throughout his time as her guardian, there had been women and girls in her life that he never even noticed the beauty of or their physical attributes, because he was so focused on his task, on his main objective. None had his heart the way Anastasia did, because... he was here for her, he was all for her and her alone.
There was not any other girl for him, there was just... Ana.
..
He could feel her beginning to pull away.
It all began a year later, when Ana turned 15.
She'd always tell him in advance when she'd have someone else walking home with her, and Christian always respected that, he always respected and did not take it personally when Ana preferred he kept quiet at certain times when she was around other realer people.
Kate was walking home with Ana today, and Christian was mindful to keep quiet as he walked beside them. He knew Ana felt self-conscious if she accidentally spoke to him when someone else was near, she already had difficulty with her mother enough as it was when she'd overhear Ana speaking to him- someone who was visible to solely Ana alone and not anyone else around her.
He kept his lips pressed together, hands tucked in each trouser pocket, as he walked beside Ana, the girl's talking excessively loud and excitedly as he remained quiet.
"Yeah, so... he kind of asked me out on a date this Saturday," Kate was telling Ana; Ana, who made sure she kept her eyes on Kate and that she did not accidentally glance at him for even just a mere second. He watched the side of Ana's face, at how large her eyes got, how animated she became.
"Wow, so he asked you out this Saturday? That's huge?"
"I know, right? Anyway, so... he sort of might have suggested Trey come along, seeing as they're close buddies."
He felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach that he was confident was not his own feelings, but Ana's.
"Oh? So Trey may be coming along too?"
"Yeah, as a sort of... double-date thing?" He saw Kate give Ana a pointed look, while her green eyes went past him, straight through him for one moment, then back to Ana again. "As in... you and Trey?" Her friend went on, making the suggestion clear.
Christian felt something pass through him; a reaction that he knew for certain was a feeling of his own this time rather than one belonging to Anastasia. He did not understand it, but... the idea of Ana going out on a double-date with whoever this Trey might be. It did not settle too well on him, the idea. He felt himself tense up as he waited for Ana's reply, running a hand through his hair.
"You mean me going on a date with Trey? Trey Michael's?" She was surprised. Shocked, even. "But he... he's always a jerk to me?"
"Yeah, Ana, but that's only because he totally likes you! He's only mean because he fancies the hell out of you!"
Being mean equates to liking someone? Christian thought in confusion to himself while raking his hand though his hair again. He could not understand Kate's thinking at all. If you liked someone, why go out of your way to be mean? Or was that some thing he did not understand?
"I don't know, Kate. I could have sworn he hates me!"
"He doesn't, though! It's all a complete act! He thinks you're really hot so please, will you say you'll agree to it?"
He caught the cursory look Ana gave him for the first time, as if she was consulting him privately on how to approach this. But the look was too fleeting for him to signal anything meaningful to her.
"I'm just not sure, Kate. You really think I should?"
"Yes! Please!"
He could feel Ana's indecision wavering. Then, a second later, under the pressure, she crumbled. "Um, okay then. So this Saturday?"
The two girl's laughed loudly, exclaiming in excitement about what was going to happen. All the while, Christian felt a bitterness in his chest as he licked his lips and ran a shaking hand through his hair again.
The feeling... it was unnerving and all too human. A feeling he hadn't expected to feel, but one he had heard of being described vividly in a favorite of Ana's books or in a movie they had watched together.
He felt powerless. Powerless because Ana clearly was ecstatic to have her first date with this young boy, this Trey, yet he did not feel it was a very good idea for her to. He felt powerless because, as honoring her request, he could not vocally express his disapproval on the matter.
But above powerlessness, he also felt something akin to jealousy.
..
That Saturday had seemed to come on fast.
He could feel Ana's anxiety as he sat in his usual frequented place, in her bedroom, on the armchair. He kept his head low, his grey eyes on his hands in his lap as Ana fussed around in her wardrobe, trying to find something suitable to wear.
He still hadn't told her he'd thought it was a terrible idea. Not that he hadn't wanted to.
As he focused on flexing and opening his fingers, watching his knuckles drain white and the veins around them, he felt the irritated words on the tip of his tongue again, words dying to be said.
Ana, I don't think you should do this. This isn't a good idea.
He imagined himself saying it to her as he clenched his eyes closed, focusing on breathing steadily through his nose as he heard her fumble around with her clothes and various hung up dresses in her closet. He imagined how she would take it, and he knew his charge well enough to know precisely how she'd take it.
She'd be confused at first, then that rebelliousness he knew she had would pop its way up to the surface. She'd deliberately push him by disobeying his earnest request, as she always liked to do. Even when she younger, she'd always constantly be pushing his buttons just for the sake of finding it funny.
And while it was one of the things he found both inspiring and amusing about her, it more often that not grated on his nerves.
But what happened if later, once she got home from the double-date, this Trey boy had hurt her? What then? Would Christian be left to pick up the pieces and comfort her, as he seemingly always was?
"Christian?" Ana's whispered, soft voice tore him out of his thoughts. He opened his eyes to see her lift her bare foot, only to nudge his legs playfully with her toes to get his attention.
Swallowing hard, he finally lifted his head, glancing up. The minute his eyes landed on her face and on what she was wearing, he felt... indescribable.
How had she grown so quickly, his little charge?
She was wearing a long-sleeved black dress with orange and pink printed flowers on it. Although she still seemed young and nervous, she also seemed strangely older in the dress as well. To his relief, she was wearing black footless leggings as well, which made him feel slightly better about her impending double-date because at least she was not showing her skin, but even then, she still looked like the prettiest girl he'd ever seen.
"So, um, what do you... think?" He heard her ask softly, shyly, while she wrung her hands nervously at her sides. "Or is this too much for, like, a casual date?"
Her hair was still out, long and straightened below her shoulders. He caught a glowing pink flush to her cheeks as she quickly dodged his gaze, her eyes dropping down to her bare feet instead. Her eyes were intent on her toes as she wiggled them and the absurdity of the situation, of the fact that she were asking him for advice on what to wear on a date, it did not escape him.
But she looked beautiful. He straightened in the armchair until his back was pressed against it, lifting both hands to squeeze them down on the armrests as he eyed her outfit again.
He hadn't seen her in a dress before, with Ana having preference for sneakers, jeans, and shirts in all the times he'd known her throughout the years.
"You look..." He began, and then he noticed his voice sounded croaky. He cleared his throat gently, before starting again. "You look beautiful, Ana."
"Really? I look beautiful?" He saw her again, that time when she was younger, how she'd been so excited, so happy that he'd loved the picture she'd drawn of him. He still had the drawing folded up in the breast pocket of his shirt, even a few years later. But it was just... how much she valued his opinion, how much she thrived beneath his approval. It was humbling and he felt his heart seize. "You sure you aren't just saying that?"
He could see she was trying to shrug off his comment, that she was trying to appear unaffected. Yet he could feel her happiness, her absolute relief at him having said such a thing to her.
"I'm sure, Ana," he murmured solemnly, meeting her gaze. As she grinned down at him, he flexed his hands instinctively, gripping the leather armrests of the armchair tight.
He wanted to say it to her then. The urge to say it, it was almost painful.
Don't go. Stay with me. I don't think this double-date is such a good idea.
But then she started speaking and it was too late. "I'm really surprised, actually. About Trey even wanting to go on a double-date. He always seems like such a jerk and like he hates me?" Lifting up with her right leg, she'd shoved her foot between Christian's thighs, wiggling her toes around, nudging him. Another one of their games. "I don't even know whether to believe it or not. I don't even know whether Kate's being completely serious with me?"
Christian caught her foot, holding it by the ankle in both hands in his lap. Her foot felt cold for some reason, and as he began using both of his thumbs on each hand to massage and warm around her toes, he got what he knew was coming. Anastasia laughed breathlessly, struggling to get her foot free from his grasp. He smiled at the sound of her laughter, turning his grey eyes up to meet hers. She'd been ticklish ever since he could remember.
"Why wouldn't she be?" he asked, still touching her foot.
He could tell Ana was getting distracted; All he had to do was tickle or touch her feet, and her thoughts instantly were flown out of the window. "Huh? Why wouldn't she what?"
"Kate." He tightened his hold on her foot as Ana struggled to get free, and she laughed again as he pulled her foot higher up into his lap. In order to keep her balance, it had resulted in Ana having to hop forward on her one free foot. The instance she got right near the armchair, she had to grab hold of it with both hands to keep her balance, leaning over him. "You said you're not sure whether Kate's being completely serious with you?"
"I just don't know sometimes. Some part of me feels like it's almost a trick and that Trey truly does hate me?" Her voice had taken on a different tone; She sounded breathless, winded, almost.
When he leaned his head back, he saw how close she was. With both hands gripping the armchair to keep herself upright while he was sitting in it, she was practically leaning over him, her face inches from his, her dark hair floating around her shoulders, her eyes shining and bright, mouth parted. Her other leg was right up against one of his while he still held her other legs foot prisoner in his hand.
"Why would anyone hate you?" he muttered, shaking his head at the thought. Anyone hating Ana, it was... incomprehensible.
He could see she was struggling not to burst out laughing over the fact that he was stroking her toes. She kept having to press her lips together to stifle her giggles down, her eyes flashing up with laughter.
"Ana?" Suddenly her mother's shrill voice broke through their conversation and Christian released Ana's foot at once. "Ana, I think your friend's car is here?"
"Oh, crap!" In a moment of distress, Ana raced around her bed, searching for her shoes.
He watched her while stroking around his chin with his fingers, trying not to laugh at how panicked she was, how ungraceful she was moving to kick on her sneakers. He had that urge again and he realized, if he didn't say it right now, it would be well and truly too late and he'd miss out.
"Ana." He uttered her name quietly, knowing her mother was any second's away from approaching upstairs to see what was taking Ana so long. The last thing he knew Ana needed was her mother overhearing her speaking to herself; He already knew how concerned Carla was for her daughter's mental well-being.
Ana paused from tying up her shoelaces, her blue eyes darting to him curiously. He opened his mouth to say it at the same time the mother called her name again. Too late. It was too late.
"I'll tell you all about it later tonight, OK?" she whispered frantically, and then without another word, she ran downstairs.
The feeling that overcame him at her dismissal of him, the way she'd ran downstairs without letting him finish... Christian dropped his head in his hands as he grunted in annoyance through gritted teeth.
If she came home later hurt... If that Trey boy touched so much as one hair on her head...
It was the waiting that was the worst. The waiting for her to come home. The instance he heard a car door open from out on the street, he shot up out of the armchair, glancing through the curtains.
He saw Anastasia exit the car, then watched as she waved goodbye. Then he had to wait some more as she came in through the front door, speaking to her mother, explaining how the night went.
He listened carefully while pacing the room, waiting for her to come upstairs. When she finally did, he stopped pacing wildly, glancing towards the entryway of her bedroom just as Ana entered.
She stopped stock-still at the sight of him, then rolled her eyes as she gently closed the door so the mother wouldn't hear her talking to herself while he waited with bated breath. She didn't seem upset, at the very least, but she did not seem happy either. His grey eyes automatically ran down her clothes, seeking any physical bruises, anything wrong that indicated she was hurt. Only he found nothing whatsoever.
"Well?" he demanded anxiously as Ana moved past him, opening her wardrobe. "Are you all right?"
"Christian," she muttered while grabbing her pajamas out, her voice like a tired sigh. She did not elaborate or say anything else, even when she turned and saw him standing there, waiting.
"What happened?" he asked when she made no start to explain how her night went. "Did he hurt you?"
"Hurt me?" She spun around while cradling her pajamas to her chest, her voice perplexed. She arched her eyebrows at him in question. "Why would you think someone hurt me?" She was being evasive and it was irritating him. He just wanted to know. He had a right to know, didn't he? It was his duty to know.
"Trey?" He did not understand. Earlier she was voicing her fears to him, her fears about it being a trick, and now... now she wasn't as open with him to speaking of how her double-date went? He ran a hand through his hair as she stared at him blankly, her blue eyes revealing nothing. Usually he could read her better than this. "You said he was a jerk to you?"
"Oh, that. Well, he wasn't so bad tonight." He was the one to spin around on the spot to give her privacy as Ana began sliding out of her leggings. He turned to face the wall, his mind frantic and fast. Why was she not telling him much? And what did she mean, by him not 'being as bad'?
He blinked at the curtains while trying to reign his feelings in. "So he didn't hurt you?" he asked slowly, trying to understand while he heard the rustling of Ana removing her clothes to get changed. "He wasn't 'as bad'?"
"Yeah, it's just as I said. He wasn't as bad."
"Meaning?" He demanded with a sigh through his nose.
"Meaning that... he wasn't as bad. I don't know what you want me to say." Once he knew she was fully changed in her pajamas, he turned back around to look at her, eyeing her carefully.
"How about you tell me a little more about what went on tonight?"
He strode closer to her while Ana focused on neatly folding her leggings. He noticed she wouldn't look at him; Even when she brushed past him to hang her dress back up into her wardrobe.
"Ana?" He prompted when she kept herself busy in her wardrobe.
"God, Christian!" He stood back in shock at the loud, piercing level of her voice. Not once had he heard her shout before. "Everything went fine, OK?" Flapping her arms at her sides in frustration, finally she turned around to look at him. All he could feel emulating off her was her own frustration and annoyance. "You're sounding like my father or a concerned parent or something!"
"Your father? A concerned parent?" He almost laughed out loud with his own frustration at her words. She'd never said such a thing to him before or accused him of that, no less. "Don't be ridiculous."
He huffed incredulously under his breath when she walked straight through him towards her bed, where she reached down, pulling back the sheets.
"Ana?" He tried again.
"Christian, please!" Her voice shook as she turned to look at him, her eyes desperate, flashing with urgency, "It's been a long night and I'm tired! I really don't need this right now!" As the last comment sunk in, it echoed in his head, over and over.
I don't need this right now!
I don't need this...
I don't need you...
I don't need you.
She didn't need him anymore. His purpose- her.
She was fine.
thank you so much for inspiring me to write by your lovely comments.
as of next chapter, ana will be older. i would love to know your thoughts as usual :)