Hermione could not possibly concentrate on the book in front of her. After days of avoiding her – for she was sure he had been – Draco Malfoy was sitting a mere few feet away from her. His eyes were firmly fixed on the book in front of him, not glancing at her once. At least that she had noticed. But here she was glancing at him over and over again. Trying to act as if they had not recently shared an extremely passionate and reckless encounter was not working for her. She needed to speak with him. She needed something. A snarky comment would do it. It would restore the balance between them. Perhaps if she just wandered by… Hermione casually closed her book and rose from her seat. Attempting to look inconspicuous, she ventured towards the shelves closest to him, skirting around the table in an apparent attempt at avoiding him.
"Don't Granger." Hermione froze in her tracks at the quiet voice. She casually lifted a hand to a random book on Herbology. She was barely close to him, but she heard his voice all too clearly.
"Just getting a book Malfoy. No need to sound so tense or to issue orders," her words were the barest of whispers. She knew they couldn't be seen speaking to each other, and yet that hadn't stopped her from coming over here. Or stopped him from intruding. For his return to the library surely was a crossing of boundaries. Invading her space. Sitting only a few chairs away, but those chairs spoke volumes.
He didn't lift his eyes to meet hers, didn't raise his voice.
"No more Granger. No more meetings, no more help, no more talks. You should know better." Hermione stiffened at his words. The fact was she should know better. She should know better than to interact with a Slytherin. With this Slytherin in particular. She swallowed audibly and firmly yanked the book from the shelf.
"Don't tell me what to do Malfoy," She hissed as she walked away. He looked up at her in surprise, but she walked away, refusing to look back.
Draco frowned and returned to his book. Didn't she understand that he was trying to help her? That kiss had been pure insanity. Fantastic, but pure insanity. He should never have touched her. Never have even spoken to her. And yet… he glanced in her direction quickly. Her head was bent over the large tome she had grabbed. He'd assumed it had been a pretense to talk to him. To come near him. Just like his being in the library was. He couldn't resist. He'd tried for days, determined not to look at her, not to think about her. But it was like an itch he couldn't scratch. He needed to see her. To be near her. It was utter and inexplicable madness. And a very strong part of him couldn't regret it. Couldn't regret knowing how soft her skin was. How sweet her lips tasted. In that heated moment, she managed to drown out all the darkness inside him with her light. And he wanted more.
He started as he noticed Potter enter the library. It was time for him to leave. He felt the other boy's glare as he walked by.
"Hey 'Mione." Harry was speaking too loudly for the library and Hermione gave him a reproving look. Harry looked down sheepishly, but Hermione still set aside her book for her friend. As she looked up at him, she noticed the many female eyes darting his way.
"I don't suppose you've changed your mind about Slughorn's party?" Hermione cringed at the question. How could she have forgotten? In a moment of insanity, she'd agreed to go with Cormac McLaggen. She closed her eyes as she remembered. Ron and Lavender had irritated her so much that morning, and Malfoy had been avoiding her and she'd just given in. Oh how she wished Harry had come up with his suggestion of going together sooner.
Malfoy paused in his movements. He had been packing up his bag, but Potter had just mentioned Slughorn's party. A very petty part of him was irritated that he had not been invited. He wasn't half bad at potions. Much better than some of those he knew were attending. Yet another consequence of his father's actions. But Granger was going? Was she going with Potter? He "accidently" dropped a pile of papers to delay his departure.
"I don't think I can Harry. It would be frightfully rude…" Hermione worried her lip. She wanted to. Oh how she wanted to cancel on McLaggen, but couldn't find it in her conscious to do it. And a small part of her delighted in the idea of Ron's shock and anger when he'd find out.
Harry sighed. "That's alright. I'll figure out something. Too bad we can't go with who we want, right?"
Hermione frowned again. For she had to admit, she no longer wanted to go with Ron. A little slip of paper settled in front of Harry, followed by a fit of giggles from a set of 5th year girls sitting a few tables away. Harry glanced at it and crumpled it up. Hermione took the moment to peer at the blonde head disappearing through the library doors. No, she no longer wanted to go with Ron at all.
Hermione darted behind a large potted plant. What on earth had possessed her to agree to come here with Cormac? That boy was all hands.
She could hear the party going on around her and wished she could figure out a way of escaping discreetly. Harry was preoccupied with Luna. At least he had found someone suitable to attend with. She regretted her decision substantially. She glanced towards the entrance and found herself starting forward.
For there was Malfoy, being manhandled by Filch, and evidently being made a fool of. He caught her gaze and wrenched himself from Filch's grasp. She was too far to hear what was being said, but it certainly looked uncomfortable.
She was so caught up in the drama unfolding in front of her that she failed to notice McLaggen's approach. Until he wrapped an arm around her waist.
"There you are, you little minx," She turned to shrug out of his embrace and missed the hardened glare that Malfoy sent their way. Feeling uncomfortable, Hermione gave Cormac a brittle smile.
"There you are. I thought you were getting me a beverage?" Hermione frowned, hoping he'd get the hint and leave her be. Instead, Cormac smirked and leaned in close. "Why don't you come with me?" He reached for her again, but Hermione side-stepped him. "All right, I suppose I'll get it myself." Cormac trotted after her and Hermione fixedly kept her eyes out so as to avoid any of the dratted mistletoe that was hanging about.
By the time she'd managed to lose Cormac again, Malfoy was gone.
Draco looked out at the grounds below. He was thinking about her again. He'd never felt panic well up so strongly before. When he'd seen Granger standing there, if she knew what he'd been up to, he couldn't fathom it. It made him ill and not from the thought of discovery. He wasn't worried that she'd tell Potter. No, it was that he didn't want her to know. Couldn't bear for her to know the truth about him. Couldn't handle the thought of losing his one confidant. She'd become his anchor.
He needed to stop. He needed to stop all of this before it got out of control. He wouldn't – couldn't – involve anyone else. At least that's what he had told himself as he avoided her gaze at Slughorn's party.
And then that dunce McLaggen had pawed all over her. He wanted to punch him. Which was ridiculous. He and Granger weren't an item. It was an insane reaction. But it was his reaction all the same. It wasn't as if they could have gone together. It was an absurd thought. And he'd ended it all, hadn't he? He'd told her to stop meeting here.
He had more important things to worry about. Like Snape coming after him like that. He scowled. The man had been pressing him more and more. And Draco couldn't figure out his motive. Was it for the glory? There was no glory in this, not for Draco. Was Snape reporting on him to gain favour? Or was he sincerely trying to help him? Draco wasn't sure. Which was why he couldn't trust anyone.
Hermione tentatively entered the Astronomy Tower. She didn't know why she returned, but she couldn't keep away. Once she'd escaped McLaggen, all she'd wanted to do was find him. And so she came here. He had told her not to. But who was he to tell her what to do? He didn't acknowledge her when she entered. But she knew he noticed her arrival. He knew it was her. His back had stiffened slightly, but he didn't spin around and tell her to leave. Perhaps it was progress.
"I told you not to do this Granger." Perhaps not.
"Don't try and tell me what to do Malfoy. I don't respond well to orders." Oh why had she come?
Why had she come here? Draco gripped the rail until his knuckles were white. Surely she understood their predicament. And he couldn't look at her. She had looked beautiful tonight. Not that he would tell her that. No instead, he took a jab at her.
"Go back to your date. I'm sure McLaggen is charming," he sneered, still keeping his back to her. He heard her sharp intake of breath.
"Don't be ridiculous, you know I only agreed because…" she paused and her voice became incredulous. "Draco Malfoy, are you jealous?"
That was enough to get him to look at her. He spun around, his eyes narrowed to slits, intent on telling her off. But then he saw her. Did she have to look so bloody appealing? She was right. He was jealous. Not that he'd tell her so.
"Of McLaggen? I told you to do better than Weasley!"
"And you meant you?" she didn't sound incredulous anymore, simply curious. And a bit intrigued. Perhaps interested. Not that he should be noticing these things.
"I couldn't could I?" he snapped. And he was angry that he couldn't. Angry that he couldn't have a beautiful, intelligent, and bright witch as his date because of his family and this bloody war.
"Oh, that's right." She crossed her arms and huffed angrily. "You couldn't possibly be interested. I mean I can do better than a Weasley, but I'm not fit for you, is that it?"
And suddenly Draco couldn't rein in his frustration any longer. He angrily strode towards her.
"Yes, that's exactly it Granger. Because you're beneath me! Isn't that right? Isn't that what I'm supposed to say? What I'm supposed to believe?" He grabbed her arms and stared at her, his eyes full of desperation. "I have to believe it. He has my mother, do you get that? And I don't know what to do anymore!" He had slowly been closing the gap between them, even as his words bled with anguish. As if he needed her close. As if he needed her comfort. Hermione stood with her mouth slightly agape, her heart squeezing with sympathy.
She couldn't forget. He couldn't forget. This was so much bigger than a schoolyard crush. So much bigger. So many risks…. His mother. She trembled as she thought of her own parents. Her desire to protect them.
Draco blinked as if coming out of a trance. Noticing how close they were, Draco dropped his hands and backed away, as if scalded by the touch.
"Stay away Granger." She instinctively stepped towards him. For some inexplicable reason, it hurt her to see him in so much pain. This was not the Draco Malfoy she knew. He was scarred. Haunted.
"I can't." she whispered. She hated to admit it. She should steal her resolve and leave him. But she couldn't. She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. Her heart shouldn't have raced at the simple touch.
She silently urged him to turn back to her with a simple touch. When he finally faced her, she slid her hand down and gripped his hand. As if by its own accord, his thumb gently stroked her palm. But his eyes remained lowered and guarded.
"I can't stay away. I don't know why." She confessed quietly. He looked at her then, his eyes as hard as granite.
"You need to try harder." His words were hard and uncompromising.
Frustrated, Hermione dropped his hand and stepped back. "I need to try harder?" she snapped. "You kissed me remember?"
He glared at her. "It's not like you didn't kiss me back Granger. You were all over me!"
"That's not the point!" A blush stained her cheeks at the memory. "You stand there, telling me it falls on me to resist when you're just as responsible!" He opened his mouth to reply, but Hermione kept going.
"And coming to see me at the party tonight! Watching me all the time! Invading the library!"
"The library is for students, Granger." Even Draco knew that his defense sounded weak.
Hermione ignored him. "And your comments. About Ron and McLaggen! I only went with McLaggen to irritate Ron, but you're the one who was in a jealous snit!"
Suddenly Draco saw red. "Is that what this is? A way to get back at Weasley? Is this some sort of game to you?!" he yelled, moving in closer until they were a heartbeat apart. He wouldn't touch her, but they were so close that their breath intermingled. Offended, Hermione's ire rose.
"Do you think I want this, want to want you?" she hissed, putting a hand on his chest, shoving hard. He didn't move an inch. Instead, he covered her hand with his and trapped it on him.
"I don't want to want you! I don't want to worry about you, to even think about you, but there you are sneaking into my thoughts at any bloody moment and I can't get rid of you!" he growled, his face contorted in a snarl. Before she could reply, he yanked her against him so that their bodies were flush against each other. She could feel his heartbeat against her chest, and was suddenly lost in the feel of him.
"And I don't think I want to get rid of you," he murmured. With that surprising admission, he crashed his lips down on hers. Inexplicably, Hermione moaned and pulled him closer. She tangled her fingers in his hair and forgot about breathing. Forgot about everything. He nipped at her bottom lip, demanding entrance and she let him in without a second thought. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her tightly against him, lifting her so her toes brushed the ground.
He broke away from her as suddenly as he had kissed her. His arms kept her in place as he leant his forehead against her. They stood there breathing heavily, still immersed in a seductive fog. He brushed her lips with quick urgent kisses, not as deep as the first, but just as demanding.
If they hadn't heard the clang and Peeve's voice echoing up the stairways they may have stayed entwined like that forever. At the sound of his devilish cackle though, the fog cleared and they sprung apart.
Hermione backed up until she hit the wall, her eyes never leaving his, her breathing still erratic. Draco stared at her, somehow his expression was already guarded.
"What was that?" she finally managed to breathe out. Her knees were shaking, her heart was pounding, and her brain was whirring at a mile a minute trying to figure out what had just happened. Because she feared she had been just lost in a moment of passion with Draco Malfoy. Again.
Instead of answering, he just stared at her. His eyes roamed over her, from head to foot, taking in the mussed hair, the flushed cheeks, the lips swollen from his attention, and all he could think was that he had never been more attracted to anyone in his life.
Hermione didn't know what compelled her, but as he stared at her, she reached up and brushed the hair back from his eyes. The zap of electricity between them did not go unnoticed.
"What is this, Draco? What are we doing?" Hermione asked. As always, she needed to know the answer.
"We're doing this," Draco said and kissed her again. He let her go abruptly and before she even opened her eyes she knew he had left.