Hermione tapped her foot impatiently, arms crossed, her frustration mounting. They had been at this for an hour. One hour of the theory behind Occlumency. It was ridiculous. It wasn't as if Occlumency was a highly popular subject, so there were limited texts on the subject. And Hermione could easily study theory on her own time, as she'd done already. How was she ever to learn if all they did was talk? It was ridiculous. She grit her teeth as Draco once more delved into another reference from the text he held.
"Draco, that is enough! For goodness sake, if you do not stop soon, your lessons will begin to resmemble Umbridge's!" Hermione snapped. Draco's diatribe cut off as he shot her a glare.
"This is serious, Hermione. It involves your mind. You need to be prepared–" Hermione rose from the cushiony sofa she'd been lounging on in the Room of Requirement ― their designated meeting spot for tonight's lesson. The Room of Requirement had provided them with quite a comfortable setting this evening. A fire crackled merrily in the fireplace, the light livening the cozy room. It was small, sparsely furnished, with a loveseat, a sofa, and a little oval coffee table. They evidently didn't need much for this sort of thing. Not at all like the room provided for the DA meetings. However, they didn't have the time to waste to enjoy their surroundings.
"I'm never going to know if I understand the theory if I'm not able to apply it." She sighed. It was difficult to stay angry when she suspected his motives for avoiding moving forward. "You're going to have to cast it on me eventually, you know. That is the entire point of this exercise."
Draco grudgingly tossed the book onto the table.
"I know I have to cast it!" A tick started in Draco's jaw, and instantly Hermione realized the problem.
"Have you ever cast Legillimens before?" His lips thinned, giving her an answer. Why hadn't she thought of that? Just because he could protect his mind didn't mean he knew how to invade another's.
He turned away from her. "I have."
"Oh really?" Hermione sincerely doubted him. "When? On whom?"
"I have. That's all you need to know." Hermione huffed her annoyance.
"Then it shouldn't be that difficult to cast it on me, then should it? So shall we?" Hermione readied herself. She knew that this would be an onslaught into her mind. This was risky. She had memories, memories of Harry in particular, that she'd like to be kept hidden. But, she was relaying on Draco's focus on their relationship as the target of his intrusion.
"Casting it on unsuspecting Crabbe and Goyle is hardly the same as casting it on you! It's your mind, Hermione!" Draco spat out.
"You cast it on them? When? Why?" Hermione was slightly taken aback to discover he had used the spell on his friends. She had assumed it had been part of his lessons—with his deluded father or his crazed aunt, she still wasn't sure.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Of course I cast it on them. Do you honestly believe I would risk casting it on you first? Without attempting it on another? I wouldn't put you at risk like that!"
"But Draco…" Frustration and annoyance with his nonchalant attitude towards his friends warred with her appreciation of his genuine concern for her well-being.
"It doesn't matter. It's not like they knew. Or had that much going on in their heads to begin with," Draco's words were full of venom, and acted as a reminder of how far his friendships had deteriorated. Draco's shoulders slumped. "Hermione, I want to help you with this, I do, but being a skilled Legillimens takes years. I've only started learning to help you. I just need a minute to get my head around it. It's terribly personal, you know." His eyes clouded and Hermione wondered about his time learning Occlumency once more.
Hermione frowned and flicked at a piece of lint on her robes. He was right, of course. This would not only be personal, but extremely intimate. Invasive. Harry hadn't said exactly what he'd seen during his lessons with Professor Snape, but she had a feeling the Potion's Master had seen many of Harry's memories which he had wished to keep to himself. They were private. But Hermione felt that she was prepared. She understood the theory, knew she had to clear her mind, empty herself of emotion. She could do this.
"Draco, I understand that. But this, what's between us, it's personal. And we need to shield it from prying eyes. We need to." Hermione voice was soft, yet firm. She supposed she was lucky. Unlike Draco or Harry, she had someone she trusted teaching her. Naturally, she was intent to shield certain memories from Draco. But that was the point of this. If she could block memories of their relationship, then she could block other things too.
"Fine. We'd best get on with it." Draco grumbled as he took a seat on the sofa she'd been occupying. "Come on. We need to face each other." Relieved, Hermione took her place across from him. They had limited time to work on this. It wasn't as if they could have scheduled classes! Taking a deep breath, Hermione willed herself to focus.
"Legillimens."
Hermione was with her parents at Christmas. Her Hogwarts letter had arrived. She was with the Weasleys over the summer. The troll had found her in the girl's lavatory.
Hermione let out a painful breath as Draco quickly withdrew. It had happened so quickly, she hadn't been as prepared as she'd thought. And she had no idea why her mind had taken that path. She had thought she had emptied it!
Draco looked away from her. This was just the tip. This was not his first foray into Legillimency. Naturally he'd been curious while learning Occlumency, but he'd only been casting it over the past week. He was hardly skilled in this, and yet the first memory he had seen had been of her parents. Their importance was obvious, as was her emotional attachment to them. How long would it take a skilled Legillimens to discover their whereabouts? Her affection for the Weasleys was also clear. But he hadn't seen anything of their relationship. How long could that last?
"Again?" he asked gruffly. Hermione swallowed with difficulty and nodded. She turned to face him.
She was hurriedly tucking the time-turner away in her third year. Snape was mocking the size of her teeth. She was dancing with Viktor at the Yule Ball.
Hermione cringed as he withdrew. Draco's eyes remained sharply trained on her.
"A time-turner?" He demanded in envious wonder. "They gave you a time-turner? Who? Why?"
"To take more classes," she admitted sheepishly. There was no point denying it now. "Professor McGonagall had to get special permission from the Ministry."
"Of course she did," Draco drawled. "And of course you needed to take more classes. I shouldn't even be surprised." Draco shook his head.
Hermione ignored him and closed her eyes in frustration. "But no one else was to know!"
"You can't seriously expect that you would have been able to Occlude so soon?" Draco asked incrediously. He still often struggled with it. It required a consistent focus and lack of emotion that was hard to maintain in such a volatile situation. Hermione pursed her lips and remained silent. It was a bit presumptious to believe she could do it so soon. But, being Hermione Granger, she thought she'd have been able to block him a bit. Instead, she had revealed a long buried secret. If he could see something like that so soon, something that needed to be hidden and at his lowered skill level. … Hermione stiffened and stared him down.
"Again." She insisted.
They went at again and again. Hermione was soon feeling drained, but was no closer to successfully Occluding Draco for a long period of time. She had managed briefly on two occasions, only to let down her guard in her triumph and find him ransacking her mind again. In addition to his earlier comments about the time-turner, Draco kept a running commentary as he went through her memories. She felt exposed. Vulnerable. Yes, he hadn't seen anymore "secrets" per se, but he was seeing things she didn't necessarily want him to. Watching as she hugged Harry and shook Ron's hand after she had been Petrified. Standing in the background as she burst into tears after the Yule Ball. Seeing her satisfaction that her curse had worked on Marietta Edgecomb after she had betrayed the D.A. Trapping Rita Skeeter in her Animagus form.
"You really are a force to be reckoned with you know," Draco observed after that last jaunt. He appeared winded, but not nearly as tired or frustrated as Hermione. "Very cunning of you. Quite Slytherin really to trap Skeeter in her form like that." He smiled at her fondly, but Hermione simply frowned in concentration. Apparently his attempts to lighten the mood were not helping matters.
"I think we should call an end to it for tonight, don't you?" Draco collapsed against the back of the sofa in defeat. Evidently, they were at a road block. Over and over he had skimmed through her memories. Not looking for anything in particular, just what was at the surface. And with every new assault, Hermione was revealing bits of herself that she didn't want to. The images were getting more personal instead of less and her emotions were controlling her. Draco believed her frustration was the cause, but he wasn't going to tell her so and face her wrath.
"We can't." Hermione determinedly set her shoulders. Who knew when another opportunity would present itself? She had borrowed the map from Harry with the pretense of needing to study alone. And technically, she was studying. Not that it eased her guilt. She couldn't keep manipulating her friends to hide her secret rendez-vous with Draco. It was one thing when they met strategically when others were busy… this was different.
"Hermione," he started gently, taking her hands into his own. "We've been at this for hours now. We are both exhausted. Emotionally and physically. And you have to admit, this isn't working."
Hermione snatched her hands away, angry with his easy dismissal of her training. "Then perhaps we should try another technique!"
Draco looked at her, his brow furrowed in irritation. Hermione leapt from the sofa and began to pace as he had earlier in the evening. Her frustration at her lack of progress was bubbling to the surface.
"It's not only you I need to protect!" she snapped. "I have my family, friends, Ron, Harry… they have all confided in me and one small misstep could lead to their end!" Her voice was nearly shrill now as the emotional toll of the evening began to catch up with her. Draco remained silent for a long moment.
Finally, Draco looked at her from cool eyes. "You're right, of course. You're always right Granger." His voice was soft and hard. "They will come for your family. Not only are you Potter's friend, but you're a presumptious little Mudblood, an anomaly in your talent. An example would have to be made." Hermione froze in horror at his words. She knew, she knew all of these things. But to hear Draco saying them in such a manner…
He continued as if he couldn't see the mortification in her eyes. "But first, they'd torture the lot of you. Just for a spot of fun. You've heard stories of Greyback, I'm sure. Not a nice piece of work. I believe that werewolf you were fond of, Lupin, was one of his. I'm sure he could tell you some stories. And of course, it would be all your fault. That's how they would find them. Just a peak into your mind." Draco stood and came toe to toe with her. Her heart was thudding in her distress. "And once he'd eviscerated them, he'd break you. Leave you broken for Potter to find so that he would blame himself in his pathetic Gryffindor way."
It was enough. Hermione rose her hand to slap him. But before her hand could connect with his face, his hand clamped around her wrist, anticipating her move.
"Legillimens."
"No!" Hermione's shout echoed as she shoved him away from her. The room felt like it was spinning. Draco was not in her mind. It only took a moment for Hermione to realize that she was in his. She watched in horrified wonder as Draco lay twitching on the ground. For a second she wondered if she had done this, in her anger at his words if she had somehow cast a nonverbal curse.
But no. Slowly, a darkened figure came into her line of sight. Tittering in disappointment.
"We've been over this Draco. Despite what dear Cissy thinks, learning to Occlude through the pain is the best way. We've only got an itty bitty hour left before your mummy comes home to try and stop me, so you better get it right this time!"
Hermione stumbled as the scene went black. She raised a trembling hand to her mouth as Draco backed away from her in mortification. He stared blindly ahead, beyond her.
"You weren't supposed to see that." Suddenly hard cold eyes were boring into her. "Did you know you could do that?"
Hermione recoiled at the accusation. "Of course not! I didn't – I mean, I how could I? Merlin Draco…" Hermione let out a strangled sob. She'd Crucioed him. His own aunt. It shouldn't surprise her. She knew what Bellatrix Lestrange was capable of. But to see it. To practically experience it. No wonder he was concerned for his mother. She wanted to go to him, but couldn't find the strength to move.
"Hermione." Draco tentatively took a step towards her. Just looking at his face was suddenly too much for Hermione to bear. Her heart couldn't stand it. She began to shake and soon dry heaving sobs were escaping her.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Draco murmured soothingly, gathering Hermione into his arms. It was so much, too much. First, the invasion. Feeling helpless as he plundered through her memories. The building frustrations as she was unable to prevent his intrustion. Then the psycological manipulation used to stir her into action. And then finally, her emotional outburst that practically thrust him from her mind. And propelled her right into his. She shook from the onslaught of emotion and the aftershock of the magic she had used.
Draco pressed comforting kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, before gently claiming her mouth with his. He kissed her slowly, deeply, and Hermione let him absorb all her fear, grief, and frustration. He brushed his lips across hers one last time, before pulling her tight against his chest.
"I shouldn't have… I don't know what I was thinking." He murmured his apology over and over into her hair, tightening his hold on her. Hermione slowly calmed in the warmth of his embrace.
"It worked though." Hermione's words were muffled against his chest as he held her close to him. She lifted her glittering eyes to his. "I was able to cast you out of my mind." Firmly too, she wanted to add. And she had turned the tables on him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, her eyes soft with compassion. After what he had been through, he was hardly in a position to teach her. And yet, he had tried. He stroked a lock of hair away from her face.
"It's not something I talk about. No one knows… I thought, well I thought I had succeeded in burying it." Draco frowned. "Actually, I think you are the first person to see that particular memory. Even Aunt Bella hasn't been able to see that. Come to think of it…" Draco loosened his grip and turned from her, staring into the fire.
"Maybe we've been trying this the wrong way. I've been so focused on teaching you the proper way, they way you'd learn from books, that I hadn't taken my personal experience into consideration."
He spun back to her, a touch frantic. "Not that I'm saying torture is the best method of teaching! And I don't think I should have taunted you either." He frowned again, his features becoming harsh in the dim light.
Hermione placed a comforting hand on his forearm. "I know you wouldn't hurt me Draco. But the taunting worked. Obviously, I can Occlude if I am under duress."
"True enough. But you won't always be under duress should someone decide to use Legillimency on you." Hermione slowly nodded. She knew that it could be done subtly. She often wondered how many times Professor Dumbledore or Professor Snape had used it on unsuspecting individuals.
Draco slid his hand into hers, entwining their fingers.
"I know it's not easy, but do you think we could meet again tomorrow night? I have an idea. I just need a bit of time to think on it."
Hermione worried her bottom lip as Draco stared beseechingly. Despite, or perhaps because of, the emotional upheaval, they were finally making progress. It may have taken a few hours, but she had managed to Occlude with success. But instead of feeling the rush of satisfaction from her achievement, Hermione was feeling overwhelmed and drained. Perhaps it would be best to break now and meet again.
"Alright. I'll find a way." It would probably mean more lies. More deception. But she couldn't help that feel that this time, at least, it was for a good cause. An important one if she was going to keep everyone safe.
"You always do."