Again...sorry for the delay. No power = no heat/toilets that flush...and sanity

Running dangerously short on sanity.

Chapter Fifteen

Only You

The tears come faster now and I know you're seeing exactly how much I have suffered. Not just my body, but my heart and soul. You own me, baby, you know you do.

And to deny me, it was cruel, you know it was.

I hated it…every fucking minute.

And I hate that your therapist, your friends, and even your mom encouraged you to take this time apart. They told you I was too much.

But my love is not too much…my love is just right. The way I showed that love, though, that was wrong. Making you feel like you couldn't go anywhere without worrying about my reaction, that was wrong. Using my fists to defend you when words would have sufficed, that was wrong. Pushing you to the point that you had to leave me to show me I was hurting you…that is something I may never forgive myself for.

You pull away from me and start pacing. I know what this means; you're thinking. You're thinking about the last six months and the decade we were together before. You're weighing the good versus the bad. You're thinking about how long you've been without my touch, without my love, without my adoration.

You know I missed you.

And now that you're here…I'm not letting you leave me again.

*()*()*

I can't resist you anymore.

I've missed you too much.

I grab you gently, pushing you toward the wall. I love you…you know this, but I feel the need to show you.

Multiple times.

You try to grab for my pants but I move to the side. You'll be naked for this part, not me.

You were the one who thought time apart would solve everything. But it didn't.

And now I'm going to make you suffer in the best possible way.

*()*()*

On my knees before you, I yank your shirt over your head. The sports bra you're wearing somehow manages to hide just how beautiful your tits are, a feat for the innocent piece of fabric.

Are you still breastfeeding? I don't know and it kills me when I realize I missed out on so much. Our youngest was only three months old when you left, taking two of our children and leaving a huge, gaping hole in my heart.

But soon the pain and loss are pushed aside to be dealt with later because that bra is off and you are bare before me.

I plunge my hand into the waistband of your skirt/skort thing and find…no panties?

My dirty girl.

And you wonder why I have to beat the shit out of guys who look at you the wrong way.

Fuck, you are wet and I'm suddenly dying of thirst.

You're my oasis.

I pull the waistband down, tossing aside the damn thing that's been tempting me for weeks and I finally see you.

I can see the stretch marks running across your hips, silver lines showing just how much you changed when you were pregnant with my children.

My eyes land on the C-section scar marring your perfect skin. You endured so much, bringing our children into the world.

I know you hate these flaws, but to me they are the roadmap of our lives. The good, the bad…everything. And for me, nothing has ever been more beautiful.

You own me, you always have.

As I press my lips to your hip, I can feel the muscle under your skin. All those hours of working out is paying off. Your legs are leaner, bands of muscle attaching to bone, proving just how strong you are.

Did you do that for me? Did you think you needed to in order to keep me?

Do you know the only pussy I've seen since we got married is yours?

No porn.

No Playboy.

Yours…you own me.

Yeah...he's all kinda awesome.

See you tomorrow...IF I get power. I don't have cell service at home. I came in to my parents to un-thaw and do laundry. which is the only reason you're getting an update now.