Hermione roughly jotted down another note and grit her teeth. She could feel Harry and Ron sending each other little coded messages as they looked over head. She'd been in this terrible mood for days. Not that they would ask why, they were often too frightened of her when she was like this. She couldn't confide in them anyway, even if they did ask. Her quill snapped at her train of thought. That had been the third one this morning.
"Um, here Hermione," Harry tentatively handed her a new one. Hermione sighed. She couldn't be near them right now. Not when her heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. Not when she wanted to break a certain blonde haired Slytherin into a million pieces.
She took the quill from Harry and offered him a shaky smile. "I'm in no mood to be around people, honestly. I think I'll just go and study on my own for a bit." She began to gather her things, a jumbled mess of half-written notes, papers, and books. The boys exchanged another guarded glance.
"If that's what you want. But, Hermione, if you want to talk…" Harry offered, but Hermione could see the apprehension in his expression. At the same time, she wished she could talk to someone. Anyone. But not about this. Never about this. "It's nothing Harry. Just… nothing. Nothing I want to talk about." Harry, the master of keeping things hidden inside, nodded in understanding. Ron opened his mouth like he wanted to say something sympathetic too, but it just gaped for a moment before closing. He was still with Lavender, though their relationship seemed to be disintegrating day by day. Her clinginess was too much for him to bear. A few months ago, Hermione would have been elated by that. Not anymore. Not since Draco.
Arms full, she fled the suffocating Gryffindor Common Room. She walked stiffly through the halls, the agitation simply pouring from her. He'd said no. As if her answer had been a question. As if when she agreed to marry him, to bond with him, she'd been asking. He'd done the asking. And then, in true Malfoy fashion, he'd gone and made a mess of things. Had made some sort of lame excuse. Naturally they'd quarreled.
"Not like this." he'd said. "Not with you as some sort of martyr sacrificing yourself for the greater good for those who've done nothing for you." She'd been mute in her surprise, and he'd taken advantage of her silence to escape. But now, after a few days to think on it, Hermione was no longer surprised. She'd dissected that statement of his to bits. Her, a martyr? He thought she was marrying him for the"greater good"? How could he not see that everything she'd done, she'd done for him. She huffed angrily and two first-years glanced at her wide-eyed. She ignored them as she continued on her way. No wonder she couldn't focus, couldn't think clearly…
She stilled a moment and looked around her. Somehow she'd managed to get to the seventh floor instead of the library. She'd let her absent thoughts direct her feet. She could hear the steady tread of footsteps. Of someone pacing back and forth. She knew that sound. She turned the hallway just in time to see the Room appear and a blonde head about to disappear inside it. She bolted. Her feet scrambled and she practically fell in on top of him in her haste.
An unbecoming oof came from her lips as she crashed into him. Hermione watched as his eyes widened in recognition and for a moment, she thought she saw fear. It was gone in a flash though, replaced by apprehension.
"Hermione, now is really not a good time…" Draco backed away awkwardly.
Hermione pursed her lips in agitation. "It's as a good a time as any Draco Malfoy…" Her words drifted off as she finally registered her surroundings. This wasn't the Room of Requirement… well not as they used it. Books and shelves, cauldrons and brooms, an assortment of abandoned objects surrounded her.
Draco watched the expression flicker across her face and felt his heart squeeze so tightly he couldn't breathe. Not her. Not here. He looked down and gently kicked at an empty sherry bottle on the floor. It rattled but didn't fall.
"It's the Room of Hidden Things," he explained lamely. Hermione gingerly placed her books on a nearby table and watched him curiously.
"Why are you here?" Never once had he mentioned this room to her. After all these months…
"It's… well it's interesting, isn't it? All these old books, and forgotten things…" he picked up a dusty tome and blew on it. It was part of the truth anyway, he told himself. When he had first found this room, he had found it interesting. All these lost magical objects, collected over the years, forgotten by their owners. It didn't matter that is now housed the source of his despair.
Hermione trailed her fingers across the cover of the book he held. "I can understand your curiousity, but really Draco, it's dangerous." She crossed arms. This was something Harry and Ron would do – just like Harry and that ill-begotten potions book.
More dangerous than you know, Draco thought. But still, he said nothing.
Draco had spent the last few days calling himself all kinds of an idiot. She had said yes. But he couldn't go through with it. She had sat there detailing plans of how their bond would help his mother and his stomach sank. At one time, that sacrifice, that desire to help him would have touched him in more ways than she could imagine. But no longer. Not if it meant she was committing herself to him only to help him. He couldn't bear that, not with what he had to do. Not that he didn't regret his departure after their last meeting. He'd been regretting it for days. He wanted her more than he wanted anything. Needed her even more. But unless she wanted him in the same way, well he couldn't agree to go through with it.
Hermione sighed, deciding it best to leave the topic of unknown magical items alone. For now. Because she had a much bigger bone to pick with the Malfoy heir. "When a woman accepts a proposal, Draco Malfoy, she does not expect for the man she's agreed to marry to rescind the offer! What is wrong with you?" She yanked away the book he was holding and thumped it angrily onto a table.
"Do you honestly believe I would have agreed to all of this simply to save your mother?" She spun back to him. "She matters because you matter. It's your happiness I was concerned about. And I said yes because I love you, if you haven't figured that out yet. Do you think I would agree to do something so important, so powerful, if I didn't?"
Draco watched Hermione snap at him, and it felt like sunshine. She meant the angry words, he knew, but all he could see was her passion for him. He knew he didn't deserve her. But if she wanted him. Truly wanted him, and just him, as he was now… well even he wouldn't be foolish enough to turn her down a second time.
"So if I asked you again?" he moved slowly towards her, arms encircling low on her waist. She fit perfectly into his hands, as always.
Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "You don't get to ask again. You asked. I said yes. That's all there is to it." He bent down to nuzzle her neck. "You really are a fool, Draco Malfoy."
"When it comes to you, I am." He admitted with a smile against her skin. This was probably the most selfish thing he would ever do. Draco knew he wasn't a good man, but she was quickly becoming the best part of him. He couldn't let that go. "What do we do now?"
"Honestly," she stepped back so that she could look at him properly. "The bonding of course. We'll decide on which one, discuss the spell, and make our vows." Hermione ticked off the words in an orderly fashion.
"No discussion of venue? Flowers? Attendants?" Draco teased, but felt a little guilty. As if he were robbing her of something. He didn't mind one bit that his family wouldn't be with him, not the family that would sooner scorn her than welcome her. But, Hermione, she may feel differently about the matter.
Hermione scoffed. "Yes, shall we host it in the Slytherin Common Room or Gryffindor's?"
Draco sobered. "In all seriousness, Hermione, if we are going to do this, isn't there anything… well special, you'd like to mark the occasion with?"
Hermione's eyes lowered as she tried to control her emotions. "I never was the type to give in to flights of fancy about my wedding day. But I suppose, I always assumed that I'd just do the usual to do. The dress. The cake. Mostly, I expected my parents would be there." She turned away and let out a deep breath. She'd miss that, she realized. She'd miss having that memory with them. Not that they'd have those memories when she was through…
Draco saw her pain and hurt for her. Everything in him shouted at him not to speak, and yet… "Did you want to wait? Perhaps we could find a way, in the summer maybe…" He knew his words were lies. That if they didn't do this now, they'd never have another chance. He'd never have another chance.
Hermione shook her head and swallowed back her distress. Her parents, they would be concerned about their youth, their haste, their previous animosity. The would never understand, not without Hermione explaining everything. Not without divulging the dire straits of the Wizarding World. And then, then they'd want to protect her and keep her from coming back.
"No," Hermione shook her head. "That wouldn't work. And I don't… I don't want to spend my time with them arguing."
Draco understood her unsaid words. Her time left with them. She had only alluded to her plans, never disclosed everything, but he suspected it would most likely separate them from her for the foreseeable future. He so badly wanted to comfort her, but knew no words could soften the blow that was to come.
Hermione took a solidifying breath. "We'll do it now."
Panic and elation warred with Draco. "Now? I thought, perhaps you'd want to research, we can discuss, compare bonds, and then decide…" He knew most of the bonds. But did she? Did she realize the depth of the commitment she was making?
Hermione shook her head stubbornly. "You know how difficult it is for us to find each other without being caught. And exams are coming, I've already been drafting my study schedule, and there is simply not enough time."
"Very romantic. Perhaps we could squeeze it in before Arithmancy," Draco said scathingly. As if their vows were some chore to be done.
"Don't be snide with me Draco." Hermione perched on the edge of the table that held her books. "None of this is conventional, but then, we aren't conventional either. Dim lights and soft music aren't necessary. What we need is each other and time. We have both at the moment."
Draco reluctantly conceded. He was being unnecessarily stubborn, he knew. "And the bond? Which one shall we do then?"
Hermione smiled in satisfaction. "The magical core bond. I didn't bother researching the others too much, as you're right, that is the most suitable for us."
Draco staggered for a moment. "You've researched it already?"
Hermione huffed. "Of course I did. Did you honestly believe that I came to you last week without having done so? I've also looked into the corresponding magical contracts. Together, those should be sufficient for our purposes. Efficient and simple."
Hermione had found the simplicity of the bonds rather odd to be honest. But then she'd remembered the Unbreakable Vow. It was the conviction behind the words that mattered most. One didn't need a complicated spell to make the magic strong. And the strong magical core bonds came from the strength of feeling. That was something they most certainly had. The deeper and stronger the emotions, the deeper the bond. Considering the power of the two involved… well Hermione suspected that Draco would be right. The power of their bonding would be indescribable.
Hermione smiled at him again. "I'll be yours and you'll be mine, remember?"
Draco stared at her, elation winning over any doubt, any fear. His beautiful and brilliant witch. "I remember."
If he did nothing else in this life, at least he did this. He'd had the love of this remarkable witch, and had been smart enough to make her his, if only for a short time. "I suppose you should take my hand then."
He reached for her. An offer of everything he had left to give.
"I suppose I should."
A/N: To all my readers, I'm sorry for the delay in this chapter. I have not abandoned this story! In addition to other things, I found this chapter particularly difficult to write. Thank you all for the reviews, favourites, and follows and for sticking with this fic!