Chapter 28
Darcy yearned to go after Lizzy, but he had not made it more than two steps before he heard Anne's raspy voice call his name.
"Let her go," she told him. "You need to give her some space to process how she feels. It was very badly done to accuse her of being in league with Wickham."
Georgiana looked at him with disappointment. "I, too, was hurt at first when she said she understood. But I never imagined she was deceitful!"
Darcy hung his head. "I knew as soon as the words left my mouth what a complete and utter fool I was. I need to apologize, to let her know…."
"You need to allow her to sort through her emotions, first," Bingley told him firmly. The room looked at him in astonishment. "What? I have sisters, and a wife!"
Georgiana laughed lightly and rose to her feet to join her husband. She swayed slightly as she stood, and Bingley was immediately at her side to steady her. "Are you alright, dearest?" he asked in concern.
"Just a little lightheaded, 'tis all. I believe I should eat something."
Anne motioned for Mrs. Jenkinson to ring for tea. Darcy looked at the woman, somewhat surprised to see her still in the room. He had entirely forgotten her presence in the commotion of Anne's announcement and his poor reaction.
As the tea tray arrived, Darcy retook his seat. They sat in silence as the tea was poured and the servant left the room. Once she was gone, Darcy shared the thoughts he'd had with the group.
"I think I am acquainted with someone who would be a good fit for you, Anne," he told her. "There is a curate at Kympton who is looking for a living. Mr. Benjamin Reid is the fourth son of a baron, and he is a good young man. The vicar there is still relatively young, having only just been appointed to the position in the last few years. His curate will not be likely to rise to that position for quite some time, but he is eager to be of use elsewhere."
"A curate would not be willing to have a mistress that could bear me an heir," Anne pointed out.
"Would the child need to be of your husband's blood?" Bingley asked.
Anne looked thoughtful at the question. "No," she said after a few moments, "but since I had assumed I would be wedding a fortune hunter, a mistress was the logical solution to keep him happy here."
"Why do you ask, Charles?" Georgiana inquired.
"Darcy, do you remember someone mentioning that Cartwright had a son?"
"You can't seriously be considering Mr. Cartwright!" exclaimed Georgiana in dismay.
"No!" Bingley hastened to assure her. "The son, however, has a caretaker who has unfortunately found herself in an interesting condition due to her master's proclivities. She is an impoverished gentlewoman's daughter. Her name is Miss Johnson, I believe."
"And how do you know so much about the situation?" Darcy asked Bingley suspiciously.
Bingley laughed a little. "From your butler! He has kept an eye on the situation at Cartwright's estate and how the servants are being treated. He has written to me on occasion to help with any that are in need."
"Why would he not come to me?" Darcy asked, the hurt evident in his tone.
"Because he already felt you had done enough for those who had suffered at Cartwright's hands. He did not want to add to your burden when he is so indebted to you for your kindness."
Darcy nodded slowly in understanding. "What do you think, Anne?" he asked, turning to his cousin. "Do you think that you would do well with a curate and a young woman who has been mistreated?"
"It is an agreeable alternative," she admitted. "However, I do not know if I could enjoy a somber man of the cloth as a husband. There has been enough solemnity at Rosings."
"The young man is more like Bingley than myself in character," Darcy assured her. "He is amiable, steady, and kind. He came highly recommended from the vicar where he grew up, and I know his father and elder brothers. They, too, are all good men."
"He would also be of use to the parish here who fall under the domain of Mr. Collins," Georgiana mused, causing Anne to let out a bark of laughter that quickly turned to a coughing fit.
"We should let you rest before dinner, Anne," Georgiana was quick to say.
Anne began to shake her head in denial, but a stern look from Mrs. Jenkinson caused the frail young lady to let you a sigh of vexation.
"Very well," Anne said. "I will spend the afternoon considering the matter. I am inclined to accept the proposal, but it must be resolved quickly, as I imagine the young woman who is with child will not inclined to wait."
Darcy nodded. "With your permission, I shall begin to draft letters to send express to Mr. Reid, my butler, and your lawyers. I can ride to London tomorrow to purchase a special license, then go on to Derbyshire to fetch Miss Johnson."
Georgiana looked at him in concern. "What about Lizzy?"
Darcy's face became a stone mask. "I shall write her a letter as well, if you will deliver it for me."
Georgiana opened her mouth to protest, but then sat back in her seat with a sigh. "I'm afraid there is no time to speak with her today, and you truly must leave tomorrow so things can be organized without our aunt discovering our plans before they can be carried out."
Darcy nodded. "With luck, I will be able to return in a sennight, and I can speak with her then."
At this, Bingley, Georgiana, and Darcy took their leave to allow to Anne to rest for the remainder of the day. Darcy occupied himself in the study, writing his letters, while Bingley took Georgiana to their rooms in order for her to recover her own strength. While she would not like to admit it, the travel had worn her out more thoroughly than she had anticipated.
That evening at dinner, Anne sent word that she was unable to join them. Knowing the tumult that was about to occur in a week, she needed to regain her strength. She sent a note to Darcy, asking to be excused from the meal and wishing him safe travels on his journey to London. Darcy took that as confirmation that she had determined on Mr. Reid, and he informed his aunt that he would be away for several days.
Lady Catherine protested vociferously, but Darcy reminded her that Georgiana would remain behind, and he was eager to return as soon as possible. He hinted that he needed to retrieve something of great value from Pemberley, as well as important documents from Anne's solicitors. Lady Catherine took this to mean that a betrothal ring and settlement papers were being fetched, and she was content to allow him his business.
As he left the next morning, he passed a sealed envelope to his sister. "Give this to her for me, please," he begged. "I have been an utter fool."
"You have," Georgiana said in agreement, "but that does not mean to say that you cannot learn from the experience. You have my word; I will give it to her."
Watching her brother ride away, Georgiana offered a silent prayer that all would turn out as it should.
"How is your headache, Lizzy?" Mary asked with concern as she brought a tray with afternoon tea into her elder sister's room.
Lizzy looked at her sister and smiled wanly. "It is improving a bit. I am sorry you have had to wait on me since yesterday morning."
Mary rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Lizzy, it has only been a day. We all suffer from megrims on occasion. You have taken such good care of all of us; now it is my turn to take care of you."
Setting the tray down beside her sister, Mary added, "You have received a letter from Jane. I hope you will share all her news with me after you have read it!"
"Of course," Lizzy replied.
"Oh, and I almost forgot. Mrs. Bingley called this morning. She was quite sad to hear that you were unwell. She said she would return tomorrow to see how you were faring."
Lizzy winced inwardly. "That was kind of her."
"She also said that her brother would be sorry to hear that you were unwell in his absence, but hopefully you will improve before he returns. You did not tell me that Mr. Darcy was to travel for several weeks."
"I did not know. It must have been a sudden decision," Lizzy said.
Mary frowned slightly in concern but did not press the issue. Pressing a kiss on her sister's brow, she said, "I will leave you to your letter from Jane and return with your dinner. Do you need me to fetch you anything before I leave?"
Lizzy shook her head wordlessly, forcing the tears at bay until her sister had left the room. Once the door closed behind Mary, Lizzy put her face in her hands and began to sob.
Did he leave because of me? she wondered.
After she had returned home from Rosings the day before, Lizzy had spent much of the day in her room, pondering the situation. I should not have become so offended. I should have stayed and discussed the situation with him. Yes, he chose to see the worst in me. But have I not often chosen to see the worst in him?
She had determined that the next morning she would call again at Rosings. However, her tears and a sleepless night had caused a true megrim that had yet to abate. And now, it's too late. I've driven him away with my rash words that were spoken in the heat of the moment.
Lizzy picked up a piece of toast that Mary had brought up with the tray. As she ate, she turned her attention to Jane's letter. A smile lit up her face, and she quickly stood up to find Mary. The sudden pain her head caused her to immediately sit back down. Instead, she called for her sister.
"What is it, Lizzy? Are you all right?"
"Oh, Mary! Jane is engaged!"
Mary's face beamed with delight. "The Viscount proposed? How wonderful!"
Lizzy read aloud from the letter, which described the romantic setting and how Oakley had involved his sons as they asked her to be their new mother.
"Although they are not in love, it is clear that he is fond of Jane and will treat her well," Lizzy remarked when she reached the end.
Mary nodded. "I think you should return to Longbourn, as Jane requested. I will be sorry to lose your company, but Jane will need your help in dealing with our mother."
Lizzy groaned. "Yes, she will be impossible, and Jane will allow her to do whatever she wishes in order to keep the peace."
The girls determined that Lizzy would visit Rosings on the morrow to take her leave, and then she would travel to Longbourn the following day. This meant the remainder of the day was spent resting and packing for the journey.
Late the next morning, Lizzy walked to Rosings. She had delayed the visit until close to mealtime so as to not have to remain for very long. She was embarrassed at how harshly she had responded to Darcy's accusations. He should have had faith in her, but she should have taken the time to communicate instead of responding in anger and leaving without any sort of discussion. They cared about one another too much to allow misunderstandings to separate them without making the effort at resolving them.
He will probably never wish to see me again, she thought sadly as she knocked on the door at Rosings.
The butler showed her to the drawing room, where Anne and Georgiana were sitting with Lady Catherine. As usual, Lady Catherine maintained control of the conversation. She chastised Lizzy for leaving on so short a notice but encouraged the girl to use her noble name in gaining the best accommodations as she travelled. To Lizzy's surprise, Lady Catherine was quite accepting of her nephew's marriage to Jane.
"After all, he has already done his duty by marring into a noble and producing heirs of good breeding. He can afford to take someone of your sister's status as a second wife."
When it came time to depart, Georgiana embraced Lizzy and pressed a folded paper into her hand. "We shall see you soon at Netherfield; we will be returning after we complete our plans here," she added, nodding at Anne.
Lizzy's eyes widened slightly, and she curled her fingers around the paper. She dipped a curtsy of farewell to the occupants of the room and left.
I wish I had the opportunity to ask after her brother, Lizzy thought sadly. He may, perhaps, come for his cousin's wedding.
Upon returning to the parsonage, she was dismayed to discover that Mr. Collins was postponing some of his regular duties in order to spend time in saying farewell to his wife's sister before she had to leave. Between his continued discourse and her lack of sleep the night before, it was all Lizzy could do to make it to her room that night and collapse into her bed. The letter would have to wait until she had privacy to read it on her journey.
Lizzy awoke early the next morning feeling refreshed and eager to depart so she could turn her attention to her letter. Lady Catherine had graciously offered a carriage to carry Lizzy to Longbourn directly. "After all, the sister of my nephew's betrothed should not have to take the post."
Once she had waved farewell to Mary and Mr. Collins, she settled into the comfortable bench seat and undid the wax seal on the letter.
Miss Bennet,
Be not alarmed, madam, on receiving this letter, by the apprehension of its containing any repetition of those sentiments so vehemently expressed this morning…
Lizzy winced at the formal tone of the letter, which was so unlike the dozens of other letters she had received from him in the past when he was in Derbyshire.
The letter informed her of Anne's intentions to wed Mr. Reid, which eased Lizzy's mind considerably. After an explanation of those plans, Mr. Darcy continued.
With regards to my accusation of you being in league with Mr. Wickham, I can only offer my apologies. In my defense, this has happened in the past – when Mrs. Young, who came highly recommended, conspired with him to elope with my sister Georgiana. I can still remember the devastation on her face.
There were also multiple situations as a child where Mr. Wickham's ease of manner and charm would convince our common acquaintances against me. My own excellent father was one of those men. I still clearly remember the anguish I felt when he expressed his profound disappointment in me when I requested Wickham attend a different school than myself.
Here the letter continued for some paragraphs, illustrating the numerous times that Wickham's word had been taken over Darcy's, or when children from the village would invite Wickham and exclude Darcy. Lizzy even came to tears when she read of how his governess was overheard telling a friend that his mother had died because she was bored to death of dealing with a son who was so unlike his pleasant friend.
With so many experiences of multiple people, many of whom I knew well and cared about, choosing his charm over myself, I believe my initial reaction to your statement to be natural and just. With all my history of being repeatedly rejected in favor of one who was more engaging, it was only logical that you would prefer him to me.
You may possibly wonder why all this was not told you last night; but I was not then master enough of myself to know for what reason I accused you of such perfidy and dishonesty. It was not that I truly thought you had a deceitful nature; rather, that idea that your lively manners would cause you to prefer another to myself was the source of such a reaction, based upon almost three decades of the same occurring.
I shall endeavor to find some opportunity of putting this letter in your hands in the course of the morning, through my sister, Georgiana.
Based on your words as you left the room, I completely comprehend that you will not wish to see me again. I do request, however, that you continue your friendship with Georgiana and Anne, as they are innocent of any wrongdoing other than being related to me
I am certain we will encounter one another from time to time, especially if your eldest sister is to become my cousin. I trust we will be able to meet as common and indifferent acquaintances.
I will only add, God bless you.
F. Darcy
The contents of this letter threw Elizabeth into a flutter of spirits, in which it was difficult to determine whether pleasure or pain bore the greatest share. Pleasure that Darcy had not really thought her so fickle, but pain at the anguish he must have experienced as a boy, especially in his formative years. How could any apparent reject their own child in favor of another? she wondered, her eyes filling with tears at the image of a young, solemn Fitzwilliam left alone and forgotten.
And now I have done the same. By not taking the time to explain myself, by leaving in a fit of pique, he once again feels rejected and has closed himself off from me. As he said before, his good opinion once lost is lost forever. I have lost the only man whom I could truly love.