Chapter Five

Draco once again ran through the specific sequence of events from earlier in the day, trying to pinpoint the exact moment that brought him to this particular point in his life - nervously following Luna Lovegood through a remote forest, carrying a sack of raw meat in order to feed a group of semi-domesticated thestrals.

He was about to ask how much further it would be when she stopped and gestured off to her right. "There they are. Aren't they beautiful?"

Draco didn't know if he could make the leap to 'beautiful' yet but he had to admit they were incredibly striking creatures. He still remembered his reaction the first time he had been able to see the black, skeletal, bat winged horses. He had been intrigued and repulsed, not to mention saddened at the realization that it was only because he had witnessed so much death that he was capable of viewing them at all.

"They certainly are...something." He shifted the weight of the pack on his shoulders. "So, what am I supposed to do?" If nothing else, his previous encounters with magical creatures had taught him to listen to the experts and carefully follow their instructions.

"Move slowly and throw the meat a little in front and to the side of them so they don't get spooked."

Draco obeyed and the herd began moving nearer. One of the younger ones wobbled quite close and took a piece of meat from Luna's hand. Draco observed the interaction and asked, "What got you interested in thestrals to begin with?"

Luna tossed some meat to the mare standing off to her left. "I noticed they were lonely. Most people can't see them and the ones that do often avoid them because they're different. People have a tendency to label anything unusual as odd, ugly, frightening…" Her voice got a touch softer and he detected a note of sadness in it. "Loony…"

Draco stared at the ground before responding. "Yeah, well, most people are idiots. " He knelt down to get a closer look at the smallest thestral which had wandered over to him. "Sure, they are a bit…. off putting at first but I can see how they would start to grow on you." He paused then asked, "How did you know they were lonely?"

Luna scratched the thestral nearest her under its chin. "When you've been lonely often enough you start to recognize it when you see it in others."

Draco reached out to gently touch the tiny foal that was now inspecting his shoe. "I wonder what Teddy would think of this little guy."

Luna shook her head. "He wouldn't be able to see them. His parents are gone but he didn't witness their death. Even if he had, you have to be able to comprehend what death really means before you can see a thestral." She laid her hand on the mare's forehead. "As much as I love these creatures, I sincerely hope that Teddy doesn't see them for a very long time."

Draco stood and brushed a leaf from his trouser leg. "Sorry. I forgot the part about understanding death." He took a moment then ventured, "How old were you?"

Luna wiped her hand on her jumper. "Nine. Mum was a extraordinary witch but she liked to experiment. One day one of her spells went badly wrong. She tried to shield me and …" Her voice trailed off as she blinked back a tear.

Draco tentatively placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Luna."

"Thank you. It was awful and I still get quite sad at times. There are days when I miss her terribly but I know I will see her again someday, so that helps."

Draco sat on a nearby fallen log. "Do you really believe that?"

She answered without hesitation. "Absolutely."

"But what if you're wrong?"

She sat next to him. "Well…I guess I can't be completely sure until I die so if I'm wrong about the existence of an afterlife then I won't have much of an opportunity to be disappointed about it, will I?"

Draco chuckled. "No, I expect not." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It can get confusing though, when you are taught one thing and believe it for so long only to realize that it is all bollocks."

She nodded. "That is why it is important to challenge your beliefs from time to time, Draco. Really examine them and throw out what doesn't work anymore and find something that does."

"But what - what if you can't find something that works, Luna? Look at me. I blindly followed everything my parents said for so long until I saw that whole way of thinking unravel. Father kept saying it was 'pureblood against everyone else' but no one stopped to mention that Voldemort was a half blood. Then they began hurting innocent pure bloods like Ollivander and you…."

He shook his head. "Then the death eaters themselves began turning on each other and Bella killed anyone that looked at her the wrong way regardless of their blood status or standing. It got so confusing."

He tipped his head back and stared at the sky. "I spent the last year trying to figure it out and the only thing I know for certain is that the old ways don't work and I don't fit in anywhere. My family and former friends won't have anything to do with me because I no longer agree with their way of thinking and everyone else only sees my past screw ups. " He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm not sure I can bring myself to believe in anything at this point."

Luna scooted closer and laid her head on his shoulder. "Well, until you figure it out, you can believe that I am your friend, Draco Malfoy. Okay?"

He looked down at her and finally asked the question that had been bothering him all along. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to be my friend? Why did you approach me that day at the Hogshead Inn? Why did you insist on following me home? Why, of all people, me?"

Luna thought carefully. "You mean, was it pity or a charitable impulse or something like that?" He nodded. She looked at the herd and answered, "No. I suppose it was because of them."

Draco furrowed his brow. "Excuse me?"

"The thestrals." She could tell he didn't follow so she said, "Because they are like us."

Seeing his blank stare she tried again. "Like the thestrals, most people don't see you and I at all - at least not our true selves. The people that do notice us often don't like what they see. Instead of Luna and Draco they only see 'Looney' and 'Ferret'. " Draco flinched at the use of those words but understood what she was trying to say.

"So, when I spotted you that day at Aberforth's, I saw someone who was both alone and lonely. I know that feeling better than most so thought I maybe we could be lonely together."

"How can you be lonely with someone else?" Draco asked.

Luna whispered, "Oh, Draco. Trust me. You can be surrounded by people and at the same time be utterly and completely alone." Her voice quivered slightly. "Sometimes it is nice to be with someone who understands that, you know?" She turned towards him and this time he nodded in agreement.

"So, while you are figuring out all of those other things, please know that I am your friend, okay?" Getting no reply she sighed, "Why do you have such a hard time believing me, Draco?"

He inspected his nails before responding, "Can you blame me? My own mother left me after the war. It's been over a year and I've only heard from her twice and both those times were only when she needed something. I didn't even hear from her on my birthday."

Luna considered that for a moment then took his hand. "I can't explain your mother's actions, Draco. From everything I knew about her, she loved you very much. I can only assume that she feels she is protecting you in some fashion." She gave his hand a squeeze. "All I can tell you is that I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon."

They sat in silence a while before she playfully shoved him. "Hey! I may be crazy but I am not a liar. If you keep not believing me when I tell you things, you are going to hurt my feelings." She stood up and extended her hand. "Friends?"

Draco hesitated then accepted the handshake. "Friends."

Luna then turned her attention back to the thestrals, tossing out another piece of meat. "Good. Meanwhile, keep asking yourself those hard questions. Minds are like bed linens, Draco Malfoy. They need to be aired out and changed on a regular basis or else they grow stale and smelly."

Draco hated to admit it but, at times, she was starting to make sense to him.