A/N, hi guys. I'm sorry if you're all mad at me - please don't be! I'm only going to be updating once a week now because I've got loads of stuff to do other than this. Anyway... This is it! How was the last chapter by the way? Remember to leave a review :-)

Chapter 18 - Tears and Admissions

She ran. Ran all the way from her headmistress' office to her dorm, which credited was only down the hallway, Crookshanks in her arms. Sobbing the password she went in, beyond upset. She'd just wiped her parents' memories of her. At least they were safe. Safe on the road up to the airport and soon in the sky to Australia. Draco glanced up at her and then stared, as she wrenched her door open and screamed loudly. She flung her beaded bag in the corner and put Crookshanks down, then leapt onto her bed and sobbed relentlessly. Ten minutes passed and she was still a it.

.

He hadn't seen her since last lesson, Defence Against the Dark Arts, and she'd looked pretty down, same as she did in potions. It was understandable that he hadn't seen her though, as he'd just come back from quidditch tryouts. He was trying to be open minded about his new team. Draco wondered what could possibly warrant tears, and why she was in muggle clothes. He put down his charms homework and went over to her door, listening. She'd been crying straight for ten minutes now and he was dying to know why. Something made a noise and it definitely was not the head girl. It was like a grunt, an animal. No - it was a cat. "She did not bring that orange fuzzball here," Draco groaned. She was still at it though, and something had to be done. He knocked. "Granger," he called. The crying faded slightly.

"Go away, I don't have time for you and your snide comments," Hermione sobbed from the other side of the door. She knew it was pathetic to cry, it did nothing, but surely it was only human nature. "Can I come in?" Draco asked.

"What?" Hermione choked, "Why exactly."

"Want to know the reason behind me not being able to do my charms homework. I mean I get Lavender is a bit of a bitch and all but does that really warrant -"

"You SHUT UP!" Hermione screamed, flinging her door open and yelling at his face, "YOU HAVE NO IDEA!" Draco stepped back, alarmed. She looked dreadful. "You need a drink," Draco stated, and Hermione gingerly followed him over to the coffee table.

Draco took out a new bottle of fire whisky and opened it, bringing it and two glasses over to the table and collapsing back into a comfy sofa. Hermione perched on the opposite one. "So," Draco grinned, "What on earth did she do? Graffitied mudblood across one of your books or something." That was a bad move. Hermione flung her arms up and yelled at him, "I come in in tears and you think this is because of some girl? Just get lost Malfoy you have no regards to other people's emotions!"

"Hey I didn't mean to be mean," Draco spluttered. And then, "AARGH!" He yelled, as Crookshanks leapt onto Hermione's sofa and curled up next to her. "No, no way am I letting a cat in here. Out! Get it out!"

"Leave Crooks alone,". Hermione pouted, stroking her cat behind the ears.

"Why do you even have him here?"

"I missed him," she lied.

"So, why you upset?" He asked calmly after a pause.

"Just leave it Malfoy."

"I'm trying to be nice!" He retorted.

"You're not meant to be nice!"

"So your apology yesterday meant fuck all?"

"No!"

"Prove it then!"

"I JUST WIPED MYSELF FROM MY PARENTS MEMORIES!" She screamed, standing up and running into the bathroom, where the crying kicked off again. "What?" Draco muttered. Then it hit him. "Oh shit. Fuck. Hermione! Hermione I'm sorry!" Draco called, hammering on the door. The door burst open and Draco found Hermione sitting against the far bathroom wall. "I - I had no idea," he apologised. She shook her head and let the tears stream down her face. He just waited in the doorframe awkwardly, having no experience in dealing with crying girls.

Finally, the tears could no longer come, and he offered her a hand and she took it. He pulled her up and lead her over to the sofa he was sitting in and let her curl up on one end. He looked at her unsurely for a few moments. This was beyond the saddest he'd ever seen her, and beyond anything that he'd witnessed, as this couldn't be fixed with a bit of magic. Even worse than when she'd seen Ron with Lavender. "Do you..." He begun, but trailed off. "Sorry," he ended up saying.

"No it's fine, you've, you've said sorry a few times just now," Hermione stated, like he didn't already know that.

"Um, yeah I guess I have," he replied awkwardly.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked quietly, innocently.

"For... A lot of reasons," he replied. This was getting beyond awkward now.

"Like what?" She asked, pouring herself a glass and taking a swig.

"Um... Well, one being for not 'regarding your emotions,' like just then, beginning to ask if you want to talk, others being for calling you that name in previous years, being cruel to you, making you mad at me..."

"I'm not sorry... About that..."

"You didn't mind me being mean?"

"Not fussed, it was normal. I got over it, it was fixable. What are you really sorry about."

"Landing you up in the hospital wing?"

"Even further."

"The ministry's fall."

"Anything else."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for being a coward... A failure? Is that what you want to hear?" Draco asked angrily.

"No... You're not, not a coward. You're certainly not a failure," she replied gently.

"How am I not a coward. I couldn't kill a man and his family. I couldn't kill Dumbledore. I can't do anything. I just sit here, doing head boy jobs and hope to do well in NEWTs that we'll never end up doing!"

"You defied V-Vold-Voldemort, and you - you're not a coward! How many death eaters stood up for what was right? You."

"What is right, varies between which side you're on. I'm stuck in the middle. There is no right for me."

"Do you think killing muggles and muggleborns is right?" She asked, looking at him for the first time since they sat down. And that was it. That's what it all came down to. There was a silence. "Of course not," Draco replied, "Not - Never kill. Look down on, I'm still working on that part but never kill. Like I said, I'd never wish death on you."

"Not me. Everyone else. The majority of the world!"

"No! I wouldn't kill them!"

"But would you support it?"

"No," Draco said firmly after a pause, "But I can't support otherwise either." Hermione shook her head. "What happened today Hermione?"

"You've said my name so many times in the past two days." Hermione smiled, swivelling to face him. She gulped down her second glass. "I don't care, that's your name isn't it?" He asked.

"I suppose."

"That's enough whisky," Draco said, moving the bottle out of Hermione's reach. "Now, what happened today?" He asked gently.

"I already told you," she replied, looking away determinedly. He looked at her, waiting. She began rocking backwards and forth.

"Are you sober," he asked, genuinely.

"Yes," she replied, although she seemed a little distant.

"It might be easier, if you just - you know - let it out," Draco said encouragingly. She looked at him and took a breath.

"I - I went to McGonagall's after dumping my bags and changing. She and I apparated to my road, where I went to my house. Ever since the start of the summer holidays I knew I'd have to do it. When you talked about the Podmores I knew it had to be soon. And when I got that letter... That was the main reason I was mad at you. The ministry were protecting my parents and now... So I got to my house, knocked, said hi to..." And then the tears started, "I said hi to mum and dad," she sobbed, "Then said I wanted to find Crookshanks and went upstairs to clear every piece of me away to either my bag or the loft, except the furniture in my room, which I simply put a locking spell on. I then cleared downstairs and, and..." She couldn't talk now. She took a few breaths before, "And after wiping myself from their memories, I re-knocked on their front door and pretended to be their invented friend's daughter from across the road, told them they'd left their plane tickets round ours, gave them a pair of adult plane tickets to Australia and they went to get packing, after I'd made them think they were buying a house they'd seen on TV - oh you don't know what that is. Never mind. So they left, I got Crookshanks and left. They - I - The last thing she said before I wiped her memory was 'I - I love our little witch.'" And then she broke down completely. Any last remaining strength left had vanished and she collapsed into tears, curling into a ball. She leant into Draco, who cautiously raised his arm, then a second later wrapped it around the struggling Gryffindor. "No one should have to go through that," he said as apologetically as he could, then leant into her too, "Just let it all out."

She did just that. Hermione buried her face into his shirt and soaked it with her tears, crying hysterically. She may not ever admit this to anyone else, but it was nice to have someone there when she was like this. She'd always always just shut herself up, determined to breakdown in private but maybe she could find comfort from others. After all, Draco was her enemy. There was therefore nothing to lose by crying in front of him - apart from dignity - but she didn't feel as though she was losing any at that moment. He wasn't being malicious and teasing towards her so what was wrong with her finding her anchor in him.

.

It was odd. Draco was meant to hate her he knew, but she was just a girl. At this very moment in time, he was comforting an ordinary girl because she'd just lost her parents. He could not, and would not therefore, see anything wrong with comforting her, no matter what her parentage was. For the first time ever, he really saw nothing but a pretty, intelligent girl. Who cared what her blood type was. Really, who gave a damn if she was muggleborn. She was Hermione Granger, and she was upset, and he was going to do everything he could to support her through this.

At last there were no more tears to cry, and Hermione curled up with her head on Draco's chest, breathing becoming even again. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Why are you sorry?" Draco asked, confused. Why on earth would she be sorry?

"For making your shirt wet." Draco snorted at that. "And for making everything between us awkward. I, I never know if I hate you or not. Malfoy I have to ask, what are we?" He stopped to think. She had a point. He'd tried not to think much of what the hell he had been doing the past few months but now she'd voiced it. "I can tell you what we're not," he finally spoke, "We're not enemies. What do you want us to be?"

"I don't know? Friends?" Hermione suggested.

Something in Draco's heart definitely dropped, but he didn't know what nor why. "Say my name, Hermione," he asked, changing the subject. Hermione was startled. She sat up and looked at him. Then her lips curled up in a smile; a genuine, real smile. "Draco," she said softly, smiling. Draco smirked. "I like the sound of my name on your lips," he smirked, "You should say it more often."

"Alright, Draco," she grinned, "Um... How's your... Stomach?" Damn. She had to bring that up didn't she. He glowered at her but regretted it as she looked away, embarrassed. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"It's fine. The wound hasn't bled since and that in itself is a bloody miracle, it aches a little and I can't put much pressure on it," he replied. She nodded. "Don't you dare try and charm the pain away," he warned suddenly.

"I won't, trust me. I started hallucinating in the hospital wing," Hermione said, but then her face fell as she remembered who she'd seen. "I saw -"

"Your mother," he interrupted. Hermione stared at him, too shocked for tears at her mother being mentioned.

"How did you know that?!" She gasped incredulously. Draco shuffled his feet. "What?" She snapped.

"It wasn't her," he mumbled.

"What on earth are you talking about?" She snapped, standing up.

"I came to visit you once, whilst you were there. The Sunday. You seemed really groggy when I came in - you called me your mother."

"That was you?!" She gasped, blushing deep scarlet. It kind of made a little sense, the way her mother had looked so awkward and unsure. "I referred to you as the boy who'd bullied me!" She exclaimed, aghast. "But then, what she - you - said afterwards... Do you really feel misinformed? Confused?" He looked away, his pale complexion reddening. "Do you - want a second chance?" He turned to face her at that, eyes imploring her. She bit her lip. "Why?" She asked. He stood up.

"Everything that's happened this year in your eyes had been bad and is influencing your depressed state. Me being head boy, Weasel cheating on you, your friends leaving to do Merlin knows what, you getting beaten twice, the embarrassing scenario at the ball, your parents and Merlin knows what else. Well for me, this has been a shit year too. You know what I've been through? You as head girl, healing you, the episode at the ball, doing the head girl things you've forgotten to do lately -" at this she gasped, clearly not knowing she was falling behind, "- putting up with Pansy, who thinks I have a crush on you -" her eyes widened, "- putting up with Theo and Blaise, who are being as annoying as fuck lately, fighting Weasel on your behalf, getting tortured by the Dark Lord and my father recently, getting tortured by the Dark Lord and my father all summer, staying at Blaise's during the summer holidays for a period of time to avoid my father, living with the school assuming I'm a bad death eater who tried to kill Dumbledore, and every fucking where I go, there'll be people who mutter, 'Death eater,' or 'Look out it's the traitor.' You assume you're the only one having a shit year and I'm fine with that honest, but I need to let it out at some point. The most fucked up thing about this year is that I've learnt that my parents taught me wrong when I was a child. There is nothing wrong with having muggle parentage. Muggleborns and muggles deserve to live a good and happy, free life. Everything I've ever known is wrong. You - your blood is clean. I learned that when cleaning you up the first day back. Your blood and mine, they are the same. It's not dirty and that makes me rethink a lot. You've messed with my head, you've put yourself in the hospital wing for me and I don't know why! I've stood up for you and I don't know why either. For Salazar's sake Hermione I kissed you!" He raised his voice. He breathed heavily, waiting for his heart rate to return to normal. She looked at him, shocked. She bit her lip and looked away. "I - I kissed you too," she mumbled, looking anywhere but at him. His expression softened. "And do you regret it?" He asked cautiously, curious for the answer.

There was a pause. Then, "No," she said quietly, turning to look at him.

.

Draco was shocked. His eyes widened and he simply goggled at her, before he did something very brave, and very stupid. Maybe Hermione's Gryffindor was rubbing off on him. He dropped his wand with a clatter and crashed his lips onto her's. He'd been dying to do it for so long, ever since that first taste of her. He felt her gasp and flinch backwards, but then she tilted her head and kissed him back. That was all he needed - consent. He smiled and wrapped an arm around her, drawing her closer, and placed his other hand on her face. She smiled and to his surprise started to suck on his bottom lip. Draco stroked her face and opened his mouth, moving his tongue to lick at her lips, begging for entry. To his amazement and joy, she happily opened her mouth and his tongue instantly started caressing the inside of her mouth. Bliss. Sighing into his mouth, Hermione hooked her tongue around his and they had a furious tongue fight with each other. He could feel her smiling against his lips and it made him feel proud. He completely gave up pretending that she wasn't attractive, that he didn't want this.

He wanted to be with her. Maybe tomorrow and for the rest of time he'd be embarrassed to be around her again because of this, maybe he'd hate himself for it but he had feelings for her and it was impossible for him to deny them. Ever since he saw her there, lying in her own blood, he knew he had to help her. He had never felt anything but friendship towards Pansy, nothing like this. A sort of protectiveness and comfort. She raised her hand to grasp his platinum hair and he felt her trust wash over him. She trusted him and that - that meant a lot to him.

.

She liked this, she liked this a lot. Was this what she wanted? Him? At the moment it was, he had shown and proved to her that he wasn't a true death eater, he'd also started on her, which had got to mean something. Surely he wanted this if he'd just risked all his dignity for it. He snatched at her lips and she drew away, panting, resting her head on his chest. To him, that meant he'd succeeded. "Do you regret that?" He whispered in her ear, and she shook her head against his chest.

"No," she murmured.

"Hermione," he murmured, stepping backwards. She looked at him, confused. A kiss was one thing. What he was about to do was a whole something else, "Will you be my girlfriend?" He'd said it now, no going back. Had he said it too early? She was looking at him cautiously. Ron was obviously still on her mind. "I see," he muttered, turning red. "Okay." He turned to go back to the sofa.

"Wait, Draco," Hermione called, reaching out for his arm and turning him around. He looked at her. "Ask me again, after taking me on a date." Draco's jaw dropped. He smirked and nodded, a great deal happier than he was before, and cleared the fire whisky off of the table and back to the sideboard. Then he and Hermione departed to bed. "Night," they called to each other, and they both opened and closed their dorm doors, smiling at what had just happened.

A/N *girly scream* Yay at last! I hope I didn't rush it; one thing I hate about some stories is that they can be rushed and so out of character. Anyway... Crookshanks is back! Please review, and see you next Tuesday!