A/N - I'm putting this at the start of the chapter as I think putting it at the end leads people to review the note as opposed to the chapter.

Just a bit of housekeeping, the fic will now be updated every other day so that it is all published and finished by Christmas day. Other than that I'll be putting another sort of bloggy-explaining-post-thing on my profile because I think this chapter will prove divisive.

Also just a reminder that just because something isn't happening now doesn't mean it won't ever happen. That said, enjoy this chapter!

Tsunade smiled as she saw Naruto land in through the window. He had grown somehow since she had last seen him; perhaps his formerly malnourished body had finally begun to grow now that it ate more and more healthily. His eye showed less signs of visible tiredness.

All in all, he was different to how he had been before, and she liked that change.

Still, this was still a serious time.

"Hokage-sama."

"Naruto, good of you to come."

"You summoned me."

She laughed.

"Figure of speech, if you hadn't there would have been retribution. We need to talk about you and Root. Aside from the fact that I shouldn't give command of an unknown number of elite shinobi, I want you to reject the decision yourself. Did Anko and Talon talk to you?"

"They did. I listened to their words and considered everything."

She nodded along with him. It was good that he had accepted the advice of the two older shinobi.

"What have you decided?"

She heard him sigh for the first time. It was a deep sigh, a long and considered sigh as if he was fighting something within himself.

"I looked at my life and all the good things within it. My friends, a word I could not have used four years ago. I have friends now. I have learned much in the open, I understand emotion and the emotional responses of people now more than ever. I have confronted death itself, and the dreams of it fade with every week. I am stronger; I can work with a team. I have those like Anko-chan and Talon-taicho to guide me here. I have the friendship of the Aburame. Ramen is now something I know of and enjoy. Enjoy."

He let the word hang. Tsunade smiled. He had come far.

"And yet I am still not of this place. I am not of the light no matter how hard I try. I was born to work in the shadows, in the darkness behind the light. Mine is not the place of recognition."

Tsunade tried to stay controlled. His words were moving her because he was just like the others in so many ways.

"Despite everything here for me, I do not belong. I know it every time I am out there and I know the separation will hurt."

"Don't do it. You can't be willing or ready to give it all up...you can't?"

"I am."

The words echoed a little. Tsunade nodded.

"I...understand Naruto. I will not allow you yet. I have one final thing I need to do before even remotely allowing you to do so."

"Understood."

He moved to leave but turned at the window.

"I do not believe I have to give up everything to do this Hokage-sama. I will need to be visible or invisible as an advisor to you, and my removal from the shinobi program would need to be structured so as to avoid suspicion. Yet I do not have to disappear completely."

"Go."

He obeyed.

Tsunade waited a few seconds before calling Shizune in. The fading evening light cast deep shadows through the room once again as Shizune entered.

"Bring Hinata. Now."

Shizune looked at her mentor and saw a tinge of desperation. She had seen it once before, but never so cold and so sober.

"Hai Tsunade-sama."

She hurried out, breaking into the well versed step she needed when things were urgent. If Hinata was needed it meant something was wrong with Naruto, that much was certain.

The team on Konoha's border were the first to spot the impending threat.

Thirty figures in the muddy uniform of Earth country, moving fast towards the border, weapons drawn. This wasn't a fleeing platoon this was the first movement of an army. The few moments of confusion were enough for the grim reality of the situation to sink in.

There were four Konoha shinobi by the border, and their enemies heavily outnumbered them. Still, the early spotting gave them the advantage.

Traps were set and weapons were prepared. They waited until half the group had passed them.

The string of explosive tags took out five of the enemy before they knew what had happened. A further three fell as the Konoha team burst out of cover to take advantage of the dazed and confused Iwa shinobi.

A further two fell as the Iwa squad regained order. That was ten kills from the Konoha shinobi.

Then it became a brutally one sided melee. The earth became a bog beneath the Konoha team's feet, and two of them were cut down before they could free themselves. The final two members split up and ran for home.

One was cornered and fought in the tree tops as best he could before he fell.

The other escaped his captors to make it within sight of Konoha. His message wasn't entirely needed.

The glow of burning forest from the border was as clear a sign as any that the war had begun. It rested on the horizon as a dirty red smear of fire and black smoke haze that covered an entire side of the horizon like a gathering storm.

The smoke split the sky into light and dark.

Konoha's border burnt as the war began.

And within Iwa, the masked man smiled widely. And waited.

There was another knock at his door. He could see it was Hinata. Was this another of the Hokage's persuasion attempts?

He drew his cloak around him as he felt the night chill bite at him a little. He should close the window but the availability of a swift escape was certainly welcome and comforting. A little part of him still felt he was in the vents, where escape was always necessary.

He opened the door to see Hinata standing there, looking a little cold. She wasn't looking straight at him.

"N...Naruto-kun, can I come in?"

"Of course."

As she walked past him, he caught sight of the red glow on the horizon and knew it wasn't the sun. It wasn't a good sign for certain. It wasn't his concern right now though.

He turned back into his apartment and into a very sudden hug from Hinata. He welcomed it, taking in the warmth of another human body and the smell that was different. She was still shivering in the cold.

"Are you cold?"

"Yes."

He dragged a blanket from his room and brought it out for her. They sat together on the sofa and she drew close to him.

There was a silence that filled the apartment as he waited for her to speak. It was odd. She had wrapped an arm around him like Anko had done but it felt different. He experimentally gripped her a little tighter and felt her relax a little.

When she did speak, it was a quiet whisper. She wasn't looking at him directly.

"Lady Tsunade said you were going to leave our team...I...I don't want you to do that."

She squirmed her way a little closer to him, resting her head just under his chin. He felt comfortable but he had to reason with her.

"I...there are things that are important to me Hinata. I have enjoyed working with your team, but there are more important things that are happening than our team and I need to attend to them."

"More important?"

He heard her voice crack a little and she looked up into his eyes. He could see the flecks of tears forming in her wide pupilless eyes. He realised there was nobody to help him and that he was going to have to try and deal with this. He'd done it before but he felt different inside about this entire situation.

He had to be logical but a part of him wanted to just hold her closer and closer and not let go. He had to choose between the two now. There was no time and there was. No. There was time. There could be another way. He had been trained to think his way around every possible situation and this was no different.

"It is hard to explain."

"Explain it...please Naruto-kun?"

He felt the first tear fall onto his chest and felt compelled to begin trying to explain. Even though the impact was virtually nothing he felt its weight keenly.

"I...I don't think I'm allowed to tell you the whole truth about it. Basically there is..."

She placed a finger softly on his lips to stop him talking and looked him dead in the eye.

"No half truth...just...tell me. You can trust me."

He realised he could and nodded. She removed the finger and he found himself missing the soft touch from it, but welcoming her arms once more being around him.

The future with him and Hinata walking together swam treacherously back into view. It would be so easy to just forget everything and deny it, go to Tsunade and tell her that she had won and live that life but...no. It was not his part. He couldn't.

She squeezed him a little and he realised he had been shaking. She pulled the blanket over him anyway thinking he was cold.

"My parents died on the night of my birth."

He felt the squeeze.

"You've read my files and so you probably know all of this anyway."

"I still want to hear it from you."

She shifted so she was close to lying on him. He leant back to make it more comfortable for them both. It was so warm with her and yet he had to keep going.

"I wasn't wanted at the orphanages. I don't remember much of it, I was very young. When I was four the Hokage took me out of the orphanage and entrusted me to someone else to take care of me."

He felt her nod against his chest. He felt the need to run a hand through her hair and held back the urge.

"I was trained as part of a secret organisation that worked to bring Konoha to be the strongest of all the nations. You've seen the results of my training first hand almost more than anyone. I undertook several missions and killed several people. Every mission made Konoha stronger even if it was brutal and harsh. It was hard and painful but it made me who I am. When the time came I was brought back into the light to serve with the regular forces. My second mission I was detected for the first time by people who didn't know I was following them. Your team was good even back then."

She nodded again, rubbing her head against his chest a little. Her hand was rubbing his side in small, idle movements and he realised how good it felt. She didn't seem to notice she was doing it though. He decided not to stop it.

"But since I left the organisation, the person leading it has changed how it works and what it does. Right now, it is harming Konoha. I am the only person who can possibly change that without leading to hundreds of death's Hinata. I am the only one who can and it is a choice I have to make."

She held him tightly and he felt more tears on his chest.

"I can prevent the deaths of hundreds of people, do what I was trained to do and take over that organisation. It would be at the cost of the majority of my life, and constantly living two lives. One in the darkness which nobody can ever know of because it would doom Konoha from those who see the organisation as barbaric and dark. One I would spend in the light as an advisor to the Hokage. It would mean that I would not be able to be the same as I am now. I would have to leave everything behind."

She looked him in the eye; a few strands of hair falling across her face, a tear ran freely down her face.

"You intend to choose that option?"

"What choice do I have? My life or the potential deaths of hundreds, perhaps even of all of Konoha?"

She placed her head on his shoulder and let her tears fall there. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her close as well. The contact and the conversation were everything.

"I have to give it up. I have to give you up because it is what I must do."

He realised what he had said. She had gone very still in his arms for a moment. He realised the implications of what he'd said. Was this a glimpse at that ridiculous concept of love? Why did he want to give up every piece of logic just to not leave?

"I don't want to give you up either Naruto-kun."

Her face was barely an inch from his own and he didn't know what he was doing. He could smell her breath and see every line and part of her face.

He wanted to reach up and caress the face, brushing the strands of hair out of her face. His hand wavered. He couldn't tell in the darkness but he was sure she was blushing fiercely.

The world hung like that for what seemed like minutes even though it had likely only been seconds.

Then situation was taken out of his hands as Hinata closed the gap and suddenly his lips were touching hers.

The sensation seemed to last for minutes even though he knew it had only been a few seconds before he pulled back and she buried her face into his chest.

He had no words to describe what had just happened to him.

They stayed there and just held her because it seemed to be right.

"You know I can't live this life Hinata-chan."

She grew closer as he said the suffix.

"I know, but I had to know. Maybe there's a chance for us in the future."

He thought it over. It was probably possible. He would have to think it over.

"Maybe, but it can't be for now. I'm sorry. It is the choice I must make."

He felt tears soak into him again and held her until she spoke again.

"I...have something to show you."

She started to rise and he stood up with her. She held him close as they stood.

Then she took his hand in hers and they started to walk through the night. The streets were quiet as they walked, Hinata hold him close to her. Naruto's mind swam as he felt like he walked along two places at once.

In one, he was with her, the sun shone brightly. People around were happy and laughing, Kiba and Shino giving him a nod as they passed. He imagined Tsunade smiling in her office and looking over them. He imagined possibly going on a mission with Anko or Talon and returning home to Hinata and holding her close.

There would always be danger for these people but they faced it willingly. The civilians though could not face it themselves.

He saw the fires start as the Root rose up and war rose with it. He blinked,

Then there was the other reality. He walked alone, in the darkness. People were there but paid him no heed. But they were safe. There were no fires of war. Hinata was there, so were Kiba and Shino but they were far away, in black and white. Faded. Like the stone of a tomb.

He shivered and she wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him close.

He realised where they were walking.

Streets gave way to grass underfoot as they walked towards the memorial grounds. There stood the obelisk of names, the memorial of the fallen for Konoha.

She knelt in front of it and so did he.

"Close your eye Naruto-kun."

He did so. He was tempted to use his Byakugan to look at what was happening but felt that he could trust her.

His hand felt the softness of her wrap around them once again and move it towards the rock.

Together, they traced the cold surface of the stone until they came to rest. He ran his fingers over the name.

"Open your eye Naruto-kun."

He opened it. It was already adjusted to the dark of the night anyway and by the flickering torchlight around the monument, he saw the name and understood.

That name. For months he had searched for it and now he finally had peace.

It was there, nondescript like the other hundreds of names on the rock. The man who carved them in probably thought nothing more of the work. A few chisels here and there and then it was done.

But it blazed out like the sun to Naruto. It was the name of his friend, his first friend and one he had wronged.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I used you as bait in Wave. I'm sorry I killed you and never learnt your name. I hope your peace is restful."

He whispered the name to the night and felt Hinata once more draw close to him. In this moment he felt his resolve grow once more.

"I think he'd have forgiven you anyway. How does it feel?"

"Good."

He looked upon the name a few more seconds and drew the information into his brain, carving the moment into his memory and into his soul.

He stood upwards and gazed back towards the Hokage Tower. The light in the office was still on.

"I have to go now...there is no time to waste."

Hinata nodded, looking at the ground as she held his hand in a tight grip.

"I know...I just wish we had more time. War is coming Naruto-kun, I'm sure you know as well as anyone."

"Yes. This means I must do what I must now rather than later."

"When will I see you next?"

"I do not know. I may not."

Then she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again. Naruto felt this was right and returned the action. It just felt right, holding her there in the moonlight. Yet he could not linger. He forced himself to back down and look her in the eyes once again.

"I'll try to though. When the war is through my double life may give me time. If you became Hokage that would make things easier."

It was an insane thought but it was an option certainly. Hinata drew back, still holding his hands tightly in hers.

"Then I will do my best. Like he would. Like you will. Good luck Naruto-kun."

She released his hands and he saw the tear roll down her face. He didn't do goodbyes. Mostly he just left. This time he could be different.

"Farewell Hinata-chan. See you someday."

Then he ran. He couldn't stay there any longer because if he did he wouldn't have been able to leave. A part of him screamed to stay and hold her forever but he resisted it. He made his way up the side of the tower like a shadow and let himself in.

Tsunade looked at his face and read it well.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You realise Iwa has just declared war?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you want to just leave her?"

"No. But I must. For Konoha."

Tsunade gave him a small smile.

"Don't give up on her entirely Naruto. One day perhaps?"

"Perhaps. I shall confront him now. There is much that needs doing. I shall report when I have made my first movements."

She shook her head and sighed.

"I still don't like this, but you're going to anyway. I'd rather keep you in my sight than in your darkness."

He nodded and turned. He needed his weapons. He needed focus. There was only one thing left to say.

"Send Hinata-chan my regards when you see her."