A/N: [Edited 24.04: Thank you to Cecelia Everhart, who betaed this chapter.
I'll now take all the unbetaed chapters down and slowly upload the betaed ones. I'm very busy, so it might come down to only 2 chapters a month. Sorry, guys]

7. One step forward, two steps back

Hermione woke painfully slowly, her dream tried to pull her down again, but finally she was awake. Her room was dark, but the sound of quiet breathing told her that someone else was present. Automatically, she tightened her fingers around her wand and muttered, "Lumos."

In the dim light of her wand, she recognised Draco sleeping in an armchair.

She could only partially recall what had happened last night or rather morning. He'd come to check on her and then … stayed.

Oh, dammit. Why had she done that? Why had she let him stay? How did he manage to break down all her inner walls and make her do such things?

For a second she contemplated waking him, but what should she say? She glanced at the clock. It was only four in the morning. Silently, she got up and levitated the sleeping Draco on her bed – it was much more comfortable than the armchair, after all.

Noiselessly she left her room, leaving him on her bed.

Sighing, she opened the window in the living room and let the cool night air in. What would he think of her in the morning? Would he consider her crazy, or pathetic, or unstable? Would he act himself differently towards her, now that he knew? She couldn't stand it if he treated her like scum again.

She couldn't pretend anymore, like she didn't care what he thought, she couldn't pretend that she remained indifferent towards him. No, she did care. That was the problem.

There was such a strange feeling inside her. It wasn't like the nervous butterflies she had with Ron or her illusions with Viktor; it was something else entirely. If he was near, she felt safe.

Of course she felt safe with Harry or Ron as well – she trusted them with her life – but it was a different kind of safe. He felt like home, family, safety – everything she wanted so badly, but that was always out of her reach.

She didn't want to feel this way towards Draco. He was just supposed to be a friend, nothing else. She didn't want to get hurt, like she had been the last time. She had vowed to never fall in love again.

Without a moment's hesitation, she came to a decision: She'd keep her distance from now on and wouldn't allow her feelings to get into the way.

Content, she started to work on some papers she needed to hand in today.

About three hours later, a muffled sound in her room told her that Draco was awake. She had finished a third of her papers and was just about to send them over to the ministry. It had helped her to calm down, to build up her inner walls again, and to take her mind off of the past.

Abruptly, Draco opened the door and stared at her. His hair was slightly ruffled and his clothes crumpled, but somehow he still managed to look handsome. She couldn't really categorise his gaze – was he angry, or confused, or both?

"Morning," she mumbled, averting her eyes. "I've made tea. Do you want some?"

"No," he answered taciturnly. "I have to go to my place to change before I go to work."

"Mhm." So he was angry. Damn.

At once his voice turned soft. "Hermione, look at me."

Very carefully, she lifted her gaze until she met his silver eyes, which for some reason reminded her of the cloudy sky during a storm. That couldn't be a good sign.

When she didn't speak, he continued. "Nightmares are nothing to be ashamed of."

"Mhm." This was really not what she had expected.

"Are you okay? I mean … how do you feel? Will you be okay alone for today?" Was that concern in his voice?

"I'm fine. I don't need you to take care of me," she repeated. "If you don't hurry, you're gonna be late."

He glanced at his watch and winced. "Doesn't matter. Hermione …" He sighed. "See you tomorrow." A heartbeat later, he disappeared in a whirl of green fire.

Relieved, she began writing a detailed letter to Harry, congratulating him and apologising for the late reply.

Of course, she would manage today. She wasn't a five year old, after all.

The next day Draco went to Hermione's office to pick her up for their lunch date, but her secretary, Miss Pond, stopped him before he could even touch the doorknob.

"Mr. Malfoy, didn't you receive my memo? Ms. Granger is unavailable today," she chirped.

"I did. I just wanted to check on her. She hasn't answered my letters."

"I assure you, she is perfectly fine." She made a vague gesture with her hand, indicating he should leave.

He clenched his teeth. Why was she avoiding him? He had thought they were friends now. "Is she in there?" he growled.

Amelia winced. "No. She hasn't come to work."

What? That meant she wasn't fine at all. Instantly, he turned on his heels and stormed to the auror's department. Ignoring all attempts of Potter's secretary to stop him, he marched into his office.

"Malfoy, has something happened?" Potter asked and jumped up, reading the expression on his face correctly.

"Not to me. Hermione didn't come to work today."

"Oh." This apparently wasn't news to Potter.

"Is she all right? Have you seen her?" Draco asked vehemently.

"Since when do you care?" he suspiciously questioned in return.

"Since I dragged her into Malfoy Manor and made her relive …" His voice broke.

"It's not your fault," Potter answered automatically, sitting down again. "She simply felt a bit under the weather. That's why she didn't come in."

"It has nothing to do with her nightmares?"

The suspicion in his gaze increased and Draco realised that he sounded too well informed for a colleague.

"I checked on her, okay? Yesterday. I was just … worried," he tried to explain, but the suspicion in Potter face didn't fade. "What?!"

"Nothing. Ginny's with her. No need to worry," he answered curtly.

"Okay. But if there's anything I can do …" He bit his lip. "Forget it, Potter. Good day." Arg, what was he doing? He'd sounded like an utter moron. Where was his Malfoy demeanour, his superiority? He thought about writing her another letter, but as she hadn't answered any of the previous ones, why would this one be any different? Grumbling and unhappy, he returned to his desk, but Hermione just wouldn't leave his mind.

A few minutes after four, Draco dashed out of the ministry, apparating directly to Hermione's apartment. Taking a deep breath, he knocked. After a couple of seconds, Ginny opened the door.

"Malfoy," she greeted.

"Ginny, I –"

Quickly, she interrupted him. "She doesn't want to see you, Malfoy. Go away!"

"What?" He stared at her shocked. "Why?"

Ginny's expression turned softer. "It's nothing personal, okay?"

He shook his head, not knowing if he should be rather angry or hurt. "No. I still don't understand."

She sighed deeply. "Malfoy, I … I don't know how to explain. Please, just go. It's nice of you to care, but … just go."

He clenched his teeth stubbornly. "I want to see her." He needed to know that she was okay. He needed to see it with his own eyes.

"No!" Ginny exclaimed fiercely. "She'll be back at the office before you notice." With that she slammed the door shut.

The week went by and Hermione didn't return; however, all her papers were delivered on time. Draco had given up writing her because she never answered. He tried it at her apartment again, but she didn't open the door. Nevertheless, she had sent him the book back, without a note. Slowly, his mood changed from worried to angry. She couldn't just ignore him like that; he had been nothing but kind. He hadn't deserved this treatment. So when she was back in the ministry on Monday, he walked into her office, ignoring her secretary.

She sat at her desk as usual. If he didn't know her, he probably wouldn't have noticed the slight sloppiness of her clothing, the paleness of her face, or the trembling of her fingers.

"Oh, Malfoy." She jumped up.

He wouldn't get distracted by the sympathy she evoked in him. He had every right to be angry. "We need to talk," he announced curtly.

"If it is about the new ingredient's law –"

He interrupted her unceremoniously. "No, it's not about a stupid law. Why have you been ignoring me?"

Her lips trembled. "I didn't feel well."

"So you couldn't answer my owls," he snapped angrily. He would not give in! Not even, if she looked at him like that with her doe eyes.

"Sorry." She sat back down and stared at the paper in front of her. She did it again, ignoring him.

She made him furious, but, at the same time, her brokenness calmed him. "What did I do wrong?" he asked in a controlled voice.

She frowned, still not looking up. As if he wasn't worth her attention. "Nothing."

"Then explain why you won't talk to me," he demanded as quietly as he could.

She swallowed, finally meeting his gaze. "It has nothing to do with you."

"Ginny said the same."

A look of surprise crossed her face, but she hid it quickly. "Good. I think it is better, if we'd stop this. This thing we have."

"What?" he gasped, his heart skipping a beat. Had he ruined it with his anger?

"I'm not a good friend, as you can see. We should stop the lunch dates. Please, don't come to my office if it is not work related," she said impassively, her eyes blank.

"No!" he growled. "You can't do this."

She stared at him defiantly. "Don't tell me what I can and what I can't do. Now, leave or I call security."

Reluctantly, he left her office, feeling furious but incredibly sad at the same time. She couldn't do this; she couldn't just throw that at him and expect him to accept it.

They really had to talk, if not at her office, then at her place. This time he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Tadaaaa! I hope you are up for a little confrontation between them in the next chapter.

So, please leave a review! ;)