Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Sixteen

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the song, though I sure wish I did. Then I could bring Dumbledore back from the dead and force him to give me his magical powers.

0o0

Flashback of last chapter………

A blinding flash of white light erupted within Hogsmeade. The prophecy was about to be fulfilled.

End flashback……

Severus Snape's eyes widened in shock. This day had turned out to be frightfully eventful in his view. The Final Battle was finally here, old enemies were settling their differences, and from his place on top of Hogsmeade's highest hill, it appeared that the Aurors and the Order were actually winning the battle below.

"Looks like that klutz was handy for something," he smirked as Nymphadora Tonks tripped over a body on the ground and managed to grab two Death Eaters' robes, effectively bringing them down with her.

As Snape turned away, he closed his eyes for a moment and reflected on what had happened into the last forty-eight hours.

A few days before, Voldemort had paid a visit to his house in Spinner's End, telling him of his plan to ambush Hogsmeade and trap Harry Potter there, assuming that Potter would gather his friends and try to help out the Order and the Aurors, pushing on Potter's tendency to help the people he knew.

Of course, merely fifteen minutes later, Snape had returned from Knockturn Alley, armed with the potion ingredients that were required to make a Resurrection Potion.

Now, two days later, the potion was brewing nicely in the basement of Snape's house, concealed with numerous charms and spells and required a password.

Then he saw movement from the corner out his eye. Snape swore softly. This moment wasn't supposed to come so quickly, the potion isn't ready, he thought irritably. Potter was always a fool; he went into the battle too fast!

Snape Apparated from the spot, turning in a swish of robes.

In the tiny, desolate village of Spinner's End, a light flicked on in one house, and jets of multicolored light lit up the gray sky for a moment.

Then the light went out.

OoOoOoO

Voldemort smirked widely. "Harry Potter. How nice to see you again."

"Likewise," Harry sneered back. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw some people levitate bodies off the ground and deposit them in a pile.

Ron bravely stepped forward. "If you want to kill Harry, you'll have to kill all of us first."

"Well, I wouldn't really say that, since I do treasure my life," Theodore Nott mumbled quietly. Pansy jabbed him in the side.

Voldemort's eyes swept off Harry and instead turned to Theo. "Ah, Nott. Theodore, I believe."

Theo narrowed his eyes and nodded curtly.

"I must say, it's a shame you didn't follow in your father's footsteps. He was a powerful man. He killed many people before succumbing to death himself. You would have made the right decision by joining me."

Pansy stepped forward and looked Voldemort in the eye. "Power isn't measured by how many people you kill, it's measured on what you do."

Voldemort's gaze swept to Pansy now. "Miss Parkinson. I see you also have chosen to fight against me. Shame, that."

"They're not the only ones to defy their upbringing," a new voice spoke up.

Voldemort inclined his head. "MacDougal. I'm saddened to hear about what happened to your father." His eyes swept across the group of Slytherins gathered in a tight little circle.

"Zabini." Voldemort shook his head. "You would turned out great. I would've given you everything you ever desired."

"Everything I desired?" Blaise spat out. "Oh, so you can find a way to bring my father back for good? You know perfectly well that you and my snake of a mother plotted together to murder him in his sleep!"

"You mother just wanted what was best for you," Voldemort replied coolly. "Obviously, she misinterpreted your plans for the future."

Voldemort turned to face the rest of group gathered there. "So……….the children of my faithful Death Eaters have decided to rebel, eh? Let's see…….we have Nott, Parkinson, Zabini, MacDougal, and………..ah…………Mr. Malfoy."

A Death Eater on Voldemort's right suddenly hissed menacingly.

"Settle down, Lucius. You can deal with him later," Voldemort said sharply. "Now…………we fight."

"If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get," Hermione said bravely. "We're not going down without pulling you down with us."

"That's right," Ernie Macmillan spoke up. "Nearly all our families have waited their whole lives for this moment."

"Half the Brocklehurst clan died at your hands, Voldemort," Mandy spat out, stressing his name. "And after today, there'll be no more innocent blood shed."

Voldemort's red eyes turned to Mandy. "Such brave words for a girl who I remember, from sixteen years ago, Apparated yourself to the Ministry when I was murdering your father, abandoning the rest of your family and, in a way, caused the deaths of your beloved father, aunts, uncles, brothers, sister, and cousins."

Mandy's eye flickered for moment, and then went back to cold, hard blue. "If I didn't Apparate to the Ministry, I would not be here to avenge my father and the nine other members of my family that you and your slimy little group of snake-human worshippers tortured and killed that day."

"Enough chitchat," Voldemort suddenly snapped, pulling out his wand and turning to Harry again. "I've had enough of having a little boy escaping my clutches over and over again. Prepare to die, Potter."

"Like you haven't said that a million times before," Harry scoffed.

Voldemort's eyes narrowed even more. "Avada Kedavra!"

As a multitude of curses flew over their heads, Hermione pulled Ron behind a bush and whispered,

"What about the Horcruxes? Harry hasn't destroyed them all yet!"

"We'll just have to cross our fingers and hope to win," Ron said, smiling slightly as he recited the famous Chudley Cannons motto. "Besides, I think luck is on our side," he grinned as he held up two bottles of…………what looked suspiciously like………Felix Felicis!

"Ron, how did you get this?" Hermione demanded.

"Courtesy of the Prince's instructions," Ron said. "And Harry Potter's cauldron, of course."

Hermione rolled her eyes. The Prince is still getting on my nerves! She thought irritably. Felix Felicis takes usually a week to brew, but no, stupid Snape comes up with a way to finish it about two days!

"C'mon, let's hand it out," said Ron, nudging Hermione, handing her one bottle. "You take the left side, I'll distribute the right side. And make sure you tell everyone that this is Felix Felicis, don't let them think it's anything else."

Hermione looked confused for a second, but then nodded. "Let's go."

OoOoOoO

Felix Felicis had indeed worked its magic. Flashes of green light and cries of, "Avada Kedavra!" were heard all around Hogsmeade, but luckily, no one from the Light side dropped dead.

"Am I too late? Is Harry dead? Is Voldemort dead?" Ginny screeched as she crashed into Hermione.

"No, nobody's dead – hold on," Hermione stopped mid-sentence, staring at her friend. "What are you doing here?"

Ginny shot a Bat-Bogey towards a hooded Death Eater. "We made all the desks and chairs smash into the window in Charms. Window broke after an hour."

"Quick, drink this!" Hermione passed Ginny the bottle of Felix Felicis.

"Is this Felix Felicis?" Ginny asked curiously, staring at the bottle.

"Yes, yes," Hermione replied impatiently. "We need everything we've got in this battle – I don't really care if we're playing dirty – we have to win."

"This is pineapple juice, Hermione," Ginny said, shaking her head. "It's not liquid luck. Who brewed this?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Ron," she said between clenched teeth. "He must have taken a leaf out of Harry's book and did that confidence mind-play thing Harry did last year!" Hermione's hands were balled up into tight fists. "RONALD WEASLEY, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

OoOoOoO

"Consectio!" Mandy yelled at one of the Death Eaters surrounding her, making a major gash appear on his stomach. "Lippitinis!" The second Death Eater, grabbed his eyes, shrieking in agony. Inflammation of the eyes, Mandy thought. That was the first spell I heard you say, Dad.

A sharp roundhouse kick to another Death Eater's jaw sent him flying. "Externus vena!" Blood vessels flew out of the man's open mouth and spilled onto the floor. That was for you, Terra, Mandy thought grimly, remembering her sister's burnt body lying dead in the fireplace.

Mandy knew she was using spells that were usually found in books about Dark Magic, but she had realized early on in her life that the only way to oppose a Dark wizard was to challenge him with his own style of magic. Mandy had practiced a lot of Dark Magic while she was in her fourth year, but after her brother's body was discovered two summers ago, hacked into pieces, underneath the rubble of what used to be Brocklehurst Manor, Mandy had sworn off all magic until the start of the her fifth year at Hogwarts, when Death Eaters had attacked some of the remaining members of her family. Mandy had once again, like Voldemort had said, Apparated herself away to safety, leaving her cousins to be killed. And now, Mandy was tired of running away, saving her own life, but sacrificing someone else's. Now, Mandy was ready to look death in the face.

As Mandy finished breaking the arms of two Death Eaters and stunned them, she suddenly grabbed the hand that was sneaking over her shoulder – towards her wand – and expertly threw the body facedown onto the ground.

Mandy slowly lifted the mask off and gasped.

"…………Daphne Greengrass…………?"

OoOoOoO

The battlefield was at a standstill as Voldemort blasted away everyone from the center of the square in Hogsmeade.

"Nagini! Attack the boy!" Voldemort hissed at his snake in Parseltongue.

Harry didn't miss a beat. "Serpentsortia!" A pale green snake, skin slick with shiny scales, instantly materialized. "Kill the other snake!" Harry hissed at his snake.

Voldemort smirked as he watched Nagini in combat with Harry's snake. "Clever, Potter. A snake for a snake."

"Just like a murder for a Horcrux, Voldemort," Harry said, thinking quickly. Harry knew that Voldemort still had some of his Horcruxes, so he knew this was the only way to get Voldemort to reveal what his Horcruxes were and where they were.

"We seem to have an understanding, then. That silly Myrtle girl for my diary, my filthy Muggle relatives for the ring, the greasy haired, sniveling Mr. Burkes of Borgin and Burkes for the locket, that foolish woman – Smith or something – for Hufflepuff's cup, some of the Brocklehurst clan for Ravenclaw's hourglass, and finally, that old Muggle man for Nagini," Voldemort hissed. "You haven't destroyed anything yet by yourself, have you, boy? You're pathetic and useless, without Dumbledore around. You're just an ordinary wizard with no exceptional powers. An ordinary boy who is about to die." Voldemort smirked and raised his wand.

"Avada Kedav – "

" – Er, did you say one of your Horcrux-thingies was Hufflepuff's cup?" Ernie Macmillan suddenly interrupted. He immediately looked away as Voldemort turned his eyes on him.

"Yes, one of my Horcruxes was Hufflepuff's cup," Voldemort slowly said.

Ernie looked down even more. "Well, I think – and it's not really my fault entirely – I think I may have – I think – I may have kind of, you know, destroyed it." This last part was said a hushed whisper. Nevertheless, Voldemort still heard it.

"What?"

"I kinda, er, Banished it into the fireplace in my fourth year," Ernie mumbled, backing away slowly. "I swear, I'm not the only guilty party, Justin Finch-Fletchey wanted me to practice Banishing Spells with him! So he was actually the root cause of this!"

Voldemort's hands were shaking were fury. "So, this is how one of my beloved Horcruxes met its end – by a pair of foolish little Hufflepuffs – it ended in the fireplace, did it not? By a pair of Hufflepuffs!" he yelled, the ground quavering below him and eyes glowing.

Mandy suddenly collapsed to the ground, eyes open wide.

"Drainage of her power," Voldemort idly commented, his tone and eyes now cooled. "Add that to the emotion I've just showed. She's not used to using Dark Magic, is she?"

"Expelliarmus!"

Voldemort easily dodged it without turning around and laughed scornfully at Ron.

"And I thought you were a Gryffindor, Weasley. Attacking someone when their back is turned, rather cowardly, don't you think?"

Ron scoffed at Voldemort and opened his mouth, but was interrupted.

"Are you Lord Voldemort?" a new voice piped up.

Voldemort stared down at Luna Lovegood in obvious disgust. "Of course I am, who else will dare call himself Lord Voldemort in public?"

"My father says that isn't true. He says that your real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle," Luna continued, acting like hadn't heard him at all. "He says Lord Voldemort is just a stupid, silly, childish anagram for your real name, which you should be using properly."

"Ah. You must Luna Lovegood, your father owns the Quibbler, doesn't he? I used to read that before I bought my first pair of swishy robes," Voldemort said pleasantly. "There were some interesting crossword puzzles and articles in there. In fact, I think my subscription is still being sent to that flat I rented in London."

"Oh, I can get Daddy to renew the subscription and have it sent to your new address," said Luna mildly, not at all aware that she was having a polite conversation with the most feared Dark Wizard of all time.

"That would be nice," Voldemort replied. "But can he send me the September issue that included the Spectrespecs? Those are very quite fascinating to look through."

Luna rummaged a bit through her robes. "Here, you can have mine."

"Hey, I hate to end this little chat, but I've got a Killing Curse just waiting to come out of my wand and hit someone in the chest," Harry interrupted. "And sometime in the near century, please."

"Have it your way, Potter," Voldemort sneered. Then he turned to Luna. "Thank you for the Spectrespecs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Boy-Who-Lived butt to Avada."

"Sorry, but no one says that anymore," Lisa Turpin said. "You really need to learn some new slang."

Voldemort ignored her. "Avada Keda – "

"Look! One of the snakes is strangling the other!" Colin Creevey yelled. The others gave him a what-are-you-doing-here look, but then realized that if Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley were there, Colin Creevey could too.

"That's Harry's snake!"

"No, it's You-Know-Who's!"

"The snakes are the same color, how are you supposed to know?"

"Ouch, that would've hurt. Getting bit in the you-know-where by the snake."

"Wow! How much d'you think one of those snake skins would sell?"

Theodore Nott stared at Anthony Goldstein in unmasked disbelief.

Anthony shrugged. "I like money."

Harry didn't know which snake was his, so he just stood there and stared.

Voldemort took this opportunity to shout, "Avada Kedavra!" at Harry. Luckily, Hermione noticed his wand move and quickly pulled Harry down.

"Can't do anything without your sidekicks, can you?" Voldemort taunted. "You always need other people to save your small, pitiful, little life."

"Well, at least I have people to save my small, pitiful, little life!" Harry yelled. Then, realizing what he just said, rephrased his sentence, "I mean, at least I have people to save my wonderful, gorgeous life!"

"I've got people to save my life too!" Voldemort bellowed, his wand now emitting sparks. "I've got the Death Eaters!" He whirled around and pointed his wand at the Death Eaters. "And don't you dare say that you're not willing to die for me. Or else – " His voice dropped another notch. " – You'll be dying, just not dying for me."

"Oh my freaking god!" Pansy Parkinson shrieked. "This freaking battle is taking so freaking long! Just get your freaking wands and freaking kill each other already! I don't have any freaking time for this, I've got a freaking facial scheduled in a freaking hour!"

The battlefield was instantly quiet.

"You know that you've said 'freaking' eight times in four sentences, right?" Blaise said.

"I freaking know that, Blaise! But this is just taking so freaking long! Every time Harry or Tall, Dark, and Not So Handsome here tries to freaking kill the other person, something freaking happens!" Pansy was nearly ripping out her hair now.

"Oh god," Malfoy moaned. "She's going to start hyperventilating."

"Need – paper – bag – " Pansy wheezed.

"Here," Malfoy, Theo, Blaise, and Anthony said in unison.

"We need to reschedule this battle," Malfoy said to Voldemort, pointing to Pansy. "We've got a hyperventilation case over here, you've got most of your Death Eaters knocked out, and I think your snake is dead," he added as an afterthought, leaning forward to touch the lifeless snake.

Nagini hissed mencingly at him and snapped at his fingers. Malfoy jumped back. "Never mind, she's alive and kicking!"

"Alright Potter, why don't we work something out?" Voldemort suggested in a tone that suggested he wasn't suggesting anything at all. "We'll meet next Saturday, in the Quidditch field at Hogwarts, at ten o'clock sharp. You bring your little friends and I'll bring my paid assassins. Sound good?"

Harry nodded. "Just one thing, though. Why the Quidditch pitch?"

Voldemort's features darkened. "I may have had an incident with a broomstick when I was eleven and I also may have an evil plan to destroy Hogwarts' Quidditch pitch."

Theo cackled loudly. When everyone looked at him, he shrugged and said, "What? He made a funny, and I laughed."

Voldemort blinked in the stop-laughing-right-now-or-I'll-hex-you-to-tomorrow-and-back way. Theo continued laughing.

Blaise expertly struck Theo on his temple, effectively knocking him unconscious. "Shut it, man."

"I'll see you Saturday then, Potter," Voldemort said, slipping his wand back into his robes. "Happy first deathday in advance, though."

"I could say the same to you," Harry said. "But I can't, as everyone here has already heard you say it."

As Voldemort and his still-breathing followers Disapparated, Harry turned back to Ron and Hermione. "Did I just make a date with death?"

Ron shrugged. Hermione opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted rudely by Malfoy, who appeared behind her and tugged on her arm, moaning, "Hermione, Hermione, I got hurt! Can you fix it?" Hermione stared at him in confusion, but then realized what he was doing.

"Well, where did you get injured?" Hermione asked, looking genuinely concerned. Harry and Ron exchanged looks of horror. Hermione and Malfoy were serious about the going-out-with-each-other announcement they made!

"My lips are feeling a little funny," Malfoy was saying. "Can you kiss the wound to make it better?"

SLAP.

Hermione stalked off, muttering things like, "Odious bastard," or, "Egotistic ferret," or even, "Malformed piece of (insert something that makes even a woman in labor blush that I cannot put in here due to the rating)." Nobody noticed her smile secretly, and whisper to Malfoy, who had caught up to her, "That sure freaked Harry and Ron out!"

Malfoy smirked sneakily and rubbed his cheek. "But I did get hurt!" He continued in a loud voice."I got hurt on the cheek just right now!"

Harry looked at Ron. Ron shrugged. "It's Hogwarts, Harry. Hermione hooking up with Malfoy, Luna talking to Voldemort, Voldemort having a subscription to the Quibbler, it's all good, Harry."

Harry looked off into the distance. "Yeah, but soon it's all going to end. In six days, either I'll be dead, or Voldemort will."

"Don't worry, mate. The good side always wins."

Harry sighed again. "But what if it doesn't?"

"Well, look at it this way," Ron said. "If the good side doesn't win, you could always send a little spooky thing called the ghost of Harry Potter down to haunt Voldemort forever. Oh, and by the way, if you die, can I have your Firebolt?"

Harry stared at him. "No, Ginny's getting it."

"Ah well, fair enough, future spouse makes more sense than future brother-in-law."

"Oh, my god!" Theo moaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. No one was quite sure what he was moaning about - the place where Blaise had struck him, or something else."Why is everyone talking about death? Can't you people just appreciate the living community?"

"Geez, I don't know. Maybe it's because the dead and gay community has more interesting members?" Blaise said with a straight face.

Theo scowled. Blaise just shrugged. "Well, I'm going to go. Gotta go check if Mandy's okay - I mean, if Brocklehurst is, you know, alive or something. 'Cause, you know, it's...er...polite."

Theo gave Blaise's retreating back the finger. "Drop dead, Zabini."

Behind him, Morag clapped. "Welcome to the dead community, Theo. You're going to have a great time here. Feel free to discuss anything about funeral arrangements, wills, hauntings, and/or imprints upon the living."

OoOoOoO

A/N-I'm really sorry for the long wait for this chapter, I got a case of Writer's Block midway. So then, I watched a few episodes of "Friends" and got my funny back! Sorry if this chapter sounds really messed up, because usually, a mock Final Battle is supposed to be serious and somber, telling of killings and deaths.

By the way, this still isn't the end, though, for all the people who are now screaming with fury, "What? It's not over? The nerve!"

No, this chapter was to provide an insight on a very important battle, get rid of one of the Horcruxes, give you a clue to where the Ravenclaw Hurcrux is, hold some slight Dramione, and have humor.

The answers to my reviews! (orchestra starts playing)

Bri Leonard – Sent you a PM. Hope to read your reply soon!

dragoneyes5000 – I'm so glad you liked my battle! I wasn't too sure about making it funny, but I did it anyways. Now I'm really glad I did it.

White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – How was Wales? And yes, you did mention going to Wales in your earlier review for Chapter 14.

AnimeAlexis – The light was Voldemort arriving. I suppose, in my story, he likes to make a scene when arriving/departing.

amythestpony – Sorry, but you'll have to wait just a little bit more for the final face-off. But as a consolation prize, there'll be more Dramione!

pinkicing101 – Ever since Blaise and Mandy's pranks went out of the plot, I've been looking for another character (s) to give a humorous soul to. I guess that was Theo. Ah, poor Theo. He's not going to end with Daphne, he might get killed in a few chapters, and the author, yours truly, has forced her sarcastic-ness upon him.

Natural-181 – The story's not ending! Not yet! This author isn't going down without a fight!

Additional thanks to angua325, xo evolremmus xo, Sweet Essence, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, pink butterfly, and me!

I promise the update will be faster this time!

-Lily in a Pond