Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Seventeen
By Lily in a Pond
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my beautifully fabricated plot.
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Theodore Nott's hands shook slightly as he poured himself his fifth cup of coffee at breakfast the next day. Of course, that could be due to the amount of sugar and caffeine running through his veins right now, but the real reason was that Theo did not have a comfortable night.
He kept dreaming that someone was trying to strangle him with his Slytherin tie, choking him over and over until he died a thousand deaths. Needless to say, Theo's tie was a little looser than usual around his neck this morning.
"Hey, Theo! Are you okay?" Blaise asked, leaning over to grab the orange juice.
Theo grunted.
"You look like you didn't sleep well last night," Malfoy observed.
"You look positively ghastly!" Pansy exclaimed.
Theo grunted again.
The others looked at each other. After a few exchanging glances, Morag leaned forward,
"Look, we know that you had a rough time at the battle yesterday. Seeing your dad again, facing your mum, almost dying, loads of people shamelessly talking about death, the whole issue with your childhood memories coming back. But, come on, get over it. These things will come and go, you'll learn to forgive and forget. The pain will eventually die away and you'll be…………somewhere close to being happy again."
Another grunt.
"Theo," Pansy said dangerously. "If you don't answer me this minute with a verbal response, I will send a Howler to you tomorrow morning screaming obscenities about you and questioning your sexuality."
Theo looked up. "Fine," he muttered. "You win this time, Pansy. But don't be surprised if you find Blast-Ended Skrewts in your bed," he added silently.
"Pansy!" Morag screamed. "Theo's gonna put Blast-Ended Skrewts in your bed!"
Theo stared at Morag in shock. Now the boy could hear internal voices? he screamed silently. As if his hearing wasn't already freakishly sharp!
"I can hear you," Morag said. "You're actually saying the words out loud very, very, very quietly, but with my freakishly sharp hearing, I can hear it."
Theo scowled and returned to his coffee. Beside him, Blaise and Pansy were having an Inter-Table discussion with the Ravenclaws.
"I'm telling you!" Blaise was saying. "My mum shut her fourth husband in a tomb in Egypt!"
"That's impossible," Lisa Turpin scoffed. "Eventually he could dig his way out if he really wanted to."
"But then what about the curses and hexes surrounding the tombs?" Pansy shot back. "He'd be zapped by the time he made it out, if he ever made it out!"
"Hello? Shield Charms!" Terry Boot said, waving his arms furiously. A frightened first year sitting nearby quickly pushed his plate away.
"The Egyptians used ancient magic!" Blaise bellowed. "D'you really think they'd let a couple of juvenile Shield Charms penetrate their tombs?"
"Oh, I think so,"Luna Lovegood said calmly, joining the conversation and pushing her plate of eggs away. "If they could bow down to a beetle, then they'd definitely be thick enough to let Shield Charms through."
"She has a point," Pansy whispered to Blaise.
Blaise rolled his eyes. "Oi! Draco! We need you over here!" Everyone knew Draco Malfoy was practically the king of insulting arguments.
Malfoy looked up. "No thanks, I'm too busy watching you two! This is really funny!"
Blaise and Pansy shot all ten fingers at Malfoy.
"Anyways, you can't use only Shield Charms throughout the whole tomb!" Pansy said. "Ancient Magic is different, they'll have all sorts of weird stuff going in their protections!"
Theo shook his head in amusement. "Losers," he muttered. "They're never going to win this argument with the Ravenclaws."
Just then, someone tapped Theo on the shoulder.
Theo jumped and spilled half his coffee over his robes.
"You – filthy – ack – but – you – loser – maniac – " Theo sputtered before remembering that he was a wizard and whipped his wand out.
"Hey, relax," Harry Potter said, throwing his hands up. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you, Theo."
"We wanted to thank you and your pack of Slytherins for helping us yesterday," Ron Weasley added, popping up behind Harry.
"So," Hermione Granger said. "Thank you."
Theo raised an eyebrow. "Well, we Slytherins didn't want you Gryffindors to die virgins, did we?"
Ron paled behind Harry. Hermione looked at him questioningly.
"What is it, Ron? Oh, you didn't………………………….did you?"
Ron just blushed.
"Who? Oh, was it Lavender?"
Ron slowly nodded, the tips of his ears turning beet red.
Hermione just shook her head and walked away. Theo saw out of the corner of his eye that she was repeatedly banging her head against the Hufflepuff table, causing Ernie Macmillan and Justin Finch-Fletchey to stop eating and stare.
Harry turned back to Theo. "Er – well, thank you for helping us discover that bit of information. I'll see you around………….." he trailed off, looking blankly at the place where Ron had standing.
"Well," Theo said jauntily, buttering his toast. "That was an interesting start to breakfast." Then he realized that no one was listening to him; they were all too interested to watch Crabbe and Goyle shove ham down their throats.
Theo turned his attention to Crabbe and Goyle, absentmindedly sipping his coffee.
"Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen!" The crowd shouted.
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Draco Malfoy slunk behind a tapestry near the Transfiguration corridor, nibbling on a muffin.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione, Potter, and Weasley walk towards him.
Just in time, he thought to himself.
"Hi sweetie," he cooed sweetly, jumping in front of the Golden Trio and making Weasley drop his bag. "I brought you a muffin."
Hermione looked at him like was a particularly dirty spot on her shoe.
Draco sighed. Alright, he thought. Time for Plan B.
"Remember what I needed to talk to you about yesterday?" Draco asked, emphasizing on the words with a little inclination of his head.
Hermione's eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes! The……….er……………thing……………about the…………………….thing."
"Okay, let's go!" Draco said, trying to smile with teeth. He failed miserably; he now looked like one of those atrocious and obscene-looking clowns at a circus.
Hermione raised her eyebrows at his………smile, if you could call it that, and followed him to the nearest classroom.
"I'll see you later!" she called over her shoulder.
After their heads had disappeared, Ron turned to Harry.
"Why do I get the feeling that this is turning into another Krum situation, but with a lot of snogging?"
Harry shrugged. "Don't ask me, you should have the answers. After all," he grinned mischievously, "you are the seventeen-year-old-non-virgin."
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Mandy Brocklehurst nodded and smiled to Orla Quirke, trying to act like everything was alright.
Inside, Mandy was a nervous wreck.
I can't believe everyone's behaving so…….regularly, she thought irritably. Shouldn't they be a little bit shaken up from yesterday?
Well, they didn't watch half their family get murdered before their eyes, did they? her conscience countered.
They've all had their childhood horrors, Mandy protested.
None of theirs came close to yours, the voice helpfully said. Their families weren't killed, tortured, and/or burned alive.
Mandy sighed and leaned back into her seat. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Theodore Nott looking extremely wan, drinking yet another cup of coffee.
Well, there's somebody else sharing your misery, she thought. Theo got up and walked over to where Crabbe and Goyle were having some sort of eating competition and started mocking them loudly.
Not anymore, Mandy thought dejectedly. Even Theodore Nott, king of hermit-ness and lonely solitude, has moved on.
"Are you okay, Mandy?" Anthony Goldstein asked, peering into her eyes. He gasped. "Whoa, everyone, come look at this, Mandy's eyes have changed color!"
Mandy gasped and whipped out a mirror. She sighed in relief when she saw her blue eyes reflecting back at her.
"How did her eyes change?"
"Whoa, look at this!"
"Wow, this is so weird!"
"What spell did she use?"
Now everyone was gathering around her like she was some sort of wild animal on display. Mandy groaned.
"Will you all get out of my sight before I hex you to next week!" Mandy yelled, snapping her compact closed with a click. "Or should I force your blood vessels to fly out of your body?"
The crowd backed away, most of them looking very frightened.
"Thank you," Mandy spat, stalking away with an indignant huff.
As Mandy walked away, she heard Anthony say, "What did I do? I just made a comment about her eyes?"
Mandy sighed and leaned against the wall. No one understands what I went through with my eyes, she thought. No one ever will. And for once, her conscience didn't argue with that.
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"So…………………" Malfoy trailed off.
"So," Hermione agreed.
"So," Malfoy repeated.
"So………" Hermione said, looking inquisitively at him.
"So," Malfoy said, as if it was an answer to a question.
"So…………?" Hermione asked.
"What?" Malfoy asked.
"What?" Hermione asked, now confused.
"Okay, let me start over," Malfoy said. "So….."
Hermione sighed. "I already know you have a vocabulary problem, Malfoy, you don't have to demonstrate it in front of me."
Malfoy scowled. "Well, if I have a vocabulary problem, then you have a social problem."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "This, coming from a ferret who squeaks for speech?"
"I knew you would work that into the conversation!"
Hermione smiled, showing pearly whites. "That's very true, considering that I an more skilled with words than you, Malferret. Again, vocabulary."
Malfoy rolled his eyes. "Okay, let's start over, again. I just to thank you for………….for being there for me when I needed it the most," he mumbled.
"What?"
"Iwantedtothankyouforbeingthereformeyesterday," Malfoy rushed out, louder.
"What?"
"THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME YESTERDAY!" Malfoy practically screamed. "God, clean out your ears, Granger!"
Hermione smiled and put a hand to her heart. "That is so sweet, Malfoy. I didn't know you cared."
"I don't!" Malfoy said hotly.
"Yes you do, you luuuuurrrrrrrve me, Malfoy!"
Someone gasped from the doorway. Hermione and Malfoy whipped around, Hermione's hair almost hitting Malfoy in the face.
"This is so juicy!" Lavender Brown squealed. "Draco Malfoy loves Hermione Granger! Wait 'till I tell Parvati! Ooh, this is going to be the talk of Hogwarts for months! A Slytherin and a Gryffindor getting together and falling in love!"
"Lavender, you cannot tell anyone about this!" Hermione pleaded. "Or…….I'll tell everyone about your little adventures with Ron in the bedroom!' she shrieked, a sudden burst of inspiration hitting her.
Unfortunately, Hermione's shriek was a little louder than a normal shriek should be. Everyone who was walking to NEWT Transfiguration stopped in their tracks and crowded in the classroom.
"I can't believe you told them, Ron!" Lavender cried, glaring at Ron. She turned back to Hermione and Malfoy.
"Uh-oh," they chorused.
"Malfoy's in love with Hermione!" Lavender shrieked, pointing at him.
Everyone gasped again.
"Well………." Malfoy stuttered, thinking rapidly for an excuse, any excuse, that would help him out of this sticky situation. Unfortunately, there were no excuses of the sort.
"Blaise Zabini still sleeps with his teddy bear!" Malfoy blurted out.
Blaise's eyes narrowed. "Bad idea, mate, bad idea," he snarled, opening his mouth to spill any secrets he knew about Malfoy. Then Blaise realized that he didn't know any secrets about Malfoy. "Er……….Theodore Nott once dressed up in a girl's clothing to impress Ginny Weasley!"
Theo just looked at Blaise in the you-know-you're-dead way and then yelled, "Morag's an unregistered Animagus!" When Morag looked at him, shocked, Theo shrugged and said, "If I'm going down, everyone's going down with me."
Morag just shook his head and hissed, "Terry Boot tried to make out with the Grey Lady!"
Everyone gasped. This was by far the most weirdest secret ever.
Terry turned purple. "You – " he spat out. "At least I didn't make out with a water balloon, like somebody over here did!" he said, jabbing his thumb backwards at Anthony.
Anthony's face immediately took on a fiery shade of red. "Traitor! You promised you wouldn't tell!" Anthony's eyes suddenly lit up. "Lisa was in a porno movie!"
"No!" Lisa screamed. "You swore you wouldn't tell!"
"Well, I had to say something to take the focus off me," Anthony protested.
"Orla Quirke stole her Quick-Quotes Quill from Rita Skeeter and – " here, Lisa paused for effect. " – she magicked it to tap into Rita's writing skill!"
"Ooh!" The crowd gasped.
Orla narrowed her eyes. "Well, at least I committed a pardonable crime, Ernie Macmillan's on the wanted list in Bulgaria for stealing Viktor Krum's underwear!"
Ernie gasped loudly. "How did you know that?"
Orla smirked smugly. "Guess who's Viktor's cousin's sister's twice removed uncle's brother's son's niece's cousin's aunt's grand-niece, once removed?"
Ernie gasped again. "You!"
"No shit, Sherlock," Harry whispered to Ron.
Ernie slapped Justin on the arm. "Well, at least I didn't try to rush the stage and get Celestina Warbleck to kiss me at her concert this summer!" Ernie yelled.
Justin blanched. "Well, at least I didn't pretend to be Celestina Warbleck just to experience fifteen minutes of fame!"
Susan Bones shrank into the corner. "Well, I didn't convince the first years that if you dance naked around someone sleeping in the Common Room, a downpour of Galleons will befall you," she mumbled.
Hannah Abbott gasped. "Well, at least I don't get my ya-yas from playing strip poker, like some people do!" she yelled, pointing to Seamus.
"Hey!" Seamus yelped. "Er……….Dean slept with Parvati so that she could put in a good word for him with Trelawney and help him pass Divination!"
Dean visibly colored. "Well, Harry – "
But none of them ever got to hear what Harry's dirty little secret was, because, at that moment, Professor Jocular poked his head and said,
"What are you all doing here? Didn't you hear the bell? You're all late for Transfiguration!"
As everyone shuffled out the door, talking and giggling about what had just transpired, Hermione looked back at Malfoy.
"By the way, Malfoy, I like you, too," she smiled.
"Wha – what – why –wha – " Malfoy managed to sputter out uselessly before he gave in and sighing, admitted, "Fine. I like you, Granger."
"Hey……..Malfoy?" Hermione asked as she grabbed her and started to walk to the door. "Remember the carrot you made me taste?"
Malfoy faintly remembered something about Luna Lovegood and true loves and carrots. "Yes," he answered slowly.
"What did you taste?" Hermione asked.
"Apple," Malfoy said, now confused. Why was she asking this, he thought. Didn't she taste……………er…………something other than apple?
"That's what I tasted," Hermione said. "I tasted apple."
Again, Malfoy was rendered speechless. "Wha – why – what – wha – "
"I………….tasted……………..apple," Hermione repeated, this time slower.
Malfoy comprehended this and gasped. "You – my – true – love – apple – why – Cinderella – Muggle-Born – you – apple – me – love – surreal – no – love – wrong – Cinderella girl – mistaken – apple – you – true – love – me – apple – girl – love - oh, my god."
And with that, Draco Malfoy promptly passed out on the floor.
Hermione cringed. "Well, that wasn't……………..too bad. I wonder how he's going to react to the whole Cinderella girl thing."
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A/N – Yay! The Dramione is finally starting to get serious!
The answers to my reviews…………..
White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez – Whew, I was really worried that Chapter Sixteen sounded like the work of an author that's REALLY high! And I hope your leg gets better!
dragoneyes5000 – In this cruel, harsh world where appearance is everything, funny is the only thing I have!
pinkicing101 – Sorry about the Felix Felicis slipup, I was in a hurry to get this chapter out, so I forgot to consult Mugglenet's HP encyclopedia. And relax, Theo isn't going anywhere, he's practically the male counterpart of me! Now, why would I want to kill a male version of me?
Bri Leonard – Bri Leonard is making her first appearance to the story next chapter! And the only thing I can tell you is that her part will lead Harry and Co. to the Ravenclaw Horcrux.
serpentine17ice – Well, not everyone was angry – the ones that were just had a little hard time believing it. I mean, Hermione and Malfoy have been at each other's throats for about six years. Obviously, they didn't exactly think that Hermione and Malfoy would get together so quickly, so unexpectedly. Also, Hermione mentioned in her little speech that she and Malfoy had been going out secretly for two weeks, which was about when the LTEA started their plan. So, many of them thought that all the trouble they went to was for nothing, since Hermione and Malfoy were already together at that time. And yes, some people like Theodore Nott have an unusual tendency to want attention for their actions (e.g. getting Draco and Hremione together.)
Additional thanks to Setsuna-chan09, me, Sam's Firefly, xo evolremmus xo, x ForgetMeNot, luvHaru7, chaotic.flying.kitten, Zagreb-girl, iMnOtReAlLYcRaZy, GoDeSs-Of-LiOnEsSeS, and Andrea Anne Narvati!
Don't forget to review!
-Lily in a Pond