Once Upon a Hogwarts – Chapter Twenty-Four

By Lily in a Pond

Disclaimer: I'm too tired to think of a funny disclaimer, and besides, I already have twenty-three perfectly good ones. So, choose from those.

OoOoOoO

"Ouch, Malfoy, you're stepping on my toe!"

"News flash, Weaslette. You're stepping on my toe."

"Will the both of you just shut up? I'm trying to find my wand!"

"You didn't bring a wand, Ron."

"Well, that explains the uncanny absence of a wooden stick…"

"Lumos!"

Ron blinked in the sudden light and then scowled. "Why didn't you do this earlier, Malfoy, when you knew that I was looking for my wand?"

"Because this was more amusing," Draco answered, with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

Ginny whacked him on the arm. "Do you not understand the complexities of this situation? Harry and Hermione are missing, Malfoy! Missing! We don't have any clues to where they could be!"

"Well, does this weird shining black thing around my arm count as a clue?"

Ginny whipped out a magnifying glass. "Don't ask," she muttered. "I have the same thing on my arm!"

"What is it?" Ron asked, peering at his own arm.

"It looks like a map of sorts," Ginny replied, squinting. "Ooh! A treasure map that tells you where Harry and Hermione are!"

"Open your eyes," Draco snapped. "It's numbers."

Ron scoffed. "Please! I pride myself on my perfect vision!"

"I'm sure that's the only thing worthy of pride for you," Draco muttered. "Anyways, the numbers are 'E1 R2 O6 R2 E3 E3 S4 O2 R3 E1 S5 E5 O5 R1 R3 E5 S4 O5'."

Ron and Ginny stared blankly at him, as if expecting him to suddenly sprout elephant ears and a tusk.

"I don't get it," Ginny said after a long, drawn-out silence.

Draco made a noise of annoyance. "Don't you see? This is a series of numbers and letters that are grouped together for a reason! They obviously spell out something!"

Ginny furrowed her brow. "So, what do they spell out?"

"Probably something horrific, if not, then perverted," Ron muttered. "Anyways, I'm going to check on Pansy and Mandy's lookout station; make sure they're not slacking on the job. I'm going to be gone for only five minutes, so don't try anything funny, Malfoy."

Draco paid no attention to him. Instead, he was mumbling things and tapping his arm with his finger, forehead creased in thought. After a few moments had passed,

"Well, I've still got a bunch of letters and numbers." As Ginny groaned, he put up a finger. "But, I saw that the letters in the combination could spell either 'eros' or 'rose'. Of course, it could spell 'sore' and 'ores', but I think that rose and eros are more possible choices. Now we just have to figure out which one it means, and we'll get this thing cracked."

Ginny stared at him in wonder. "Thank god I didn't take Arithmancy, this stuff alone is killing me."

Draco smirked. "Well, some people have less developed minds than mine."

Ginny scoffed and Draco smirked.

"What a great argument! Exhaling!"

"I'm back!" Ron called. "Have you guys killed each other yet?"

"Yes," Draco and Ginny replied at the same time.

Ron shook his head and he examined the group of numbers and letters.

"You have two possible choices," Draco intoned. "Eros or rose?"

Ron contemplated this. "I think it's 'rose'."

"Why rose? I think it's 'eros'," Draco contradicted.

"Well, tell me your reason and I'll tell you mine."

"I think it's eros because the letters and numbers spell out a place. And what place do we need to find out now? Where Hermione and Potter are. Since we all love and care for them, eros would be more likely than rose," Draco concluded, shifting backwards and smirking.

"That's a tough argument to beat," Ginny whispered to Ron. Ron ignored her.

"It has to be rose because that's Hermione's favorite flower. Besides, who would create a secret message using the word 'eros'? Most people don't even know who Eros was."

Draco rolled his eyes. "If you know who Eros was, then a significant amount of people should know, too."

Ron stomped his foot on the ground. "I'm telling you, it's rose!"

"Eros!"

"Rose!"

"Eros!"

Ginny threw up her hands. "Would you two please stop it? Did any of you think about the possibility that this thing was planted on our arms to distract us from finding Harry and Hermione?"

Draco blinked. "Well, that is a possibility. But still, who would go to all this trouble to make up a secret message with a codeword and not even use it?"

"People who are very cunning and want to throw you off track!" Ginny yelled. "Now, if you please, put this aside for now and let's do a mass Point Me spell."

Ron sighed. "I suppose that sounds alright."

"Point Me!" Three voices shouted simultaneously.

"Well, I guess we're heading north," Ginny observed, placing her wand back in her pocket. "C'mon, let's go."

OoOoOoO

"Hermione, I know you're bummed out, but you don't have to empty out the Malfoy supply of ice cream," Harry said, watching Hermione stick her head in a large tub of strawberry ice cream.

Hermione looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy. "I have to! The 'ask again laters' were just a sign that he doesn't love me!"

Harry sighed. "For the last time, Malfoy loves you, okay? You've just got to believe in it, and the next thing you know, he'll be saying it to your face!"

"No!" Hermione snapped, lobbing a spoonful of ice cream at Harry. "I have loved Draco Malfoy for three years, Harry! If he doesn't love me now, when is he going to, if ever?"

Harry was silent for a moment. "See?" Hermione wailed. "You don't know how to answer to that! And if you don't know the answer, I definitely don't!"

Harry shook his head. "No, I was just thinking. Hermione, are you pregnant?"

Hermione's spoon landed on the floor with a resonating clatter. "WHAT?"

"I'm just saying, I mean, you seem really moody, and your emotions are all over the place. Plus, you're eating a lot of ice cream. Pregnant women eat a lot of ice cream."

Hermione blanched. "Harry, I'm not pregnant, I'm just burdened with a problem right now. Trust me, you've never been faced and you'll never be faced with this kind of problem. You're going to marry Ginny, go on a three-year honeymoon around the world, and when you get back, you're finally going to get the big family you've wanted, with five perfect kids that all play Quidditch and excel at Defense Against the Dark Arts!" she snapped bitterly. "Me? I fell in love with my worst enemy, who didn't even acknowledge me as a human being until this year!"

Again, Harry was silent. The sound of a spoon scraping against the bottom of the container pierced the silence.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you I used to practice kissing with Uncle Vernon's old socks?"

Hermione stared at him in sheer horror. "NO!"

OoOoOoO

Pansy tapped Mandy on the shoulder. "Hey, Mandy, can I ask you something?"

Mandy shrugged. "I'm not going to bother stating the obvious, but sure."

"Do you have a black band thing on your arm that seems to glow a bit in the moonlight?"

Mandy looked at her arm. "No."

"What?" a high-pitched voice squawked from behind them. Instantly, Mandy and Pansy were on their feet, wands pointed at different directions.

"Persona Revelio!" Pansy whispered and a beam of blue light illuminated the shadow of a small, skinny girl who was lurking behind a willow tree.

Mandy's jaw dropped. "Jenna Marie Rose?" she yelled. "What the hell are you doing out here?"

Pansy's head turned so fast, at least two bones cracked. "You know her?"

"I used to tutor her in Transfiguration," Mandy explained. "Hey," she directed at Jenna Marie. "What are you doing out here, you little stalker?" she ruffled the girl's hair affectionately.

"I'm not stalking you guys!"

Pansy's eyes narrowed. "Why do you have binoculars around your neck, then?"

"I'm bird watching," Jenna Marie said after a silence.

"At night?"

"Yes, the lighting is very good for watching aerial projections fly around in the…er…illumination of the moon."

Mandy rolled her eyes. "I don't care why you're here, just get back to the castle. This place is dangerous for someone like you."

Jenna Marie wasn't listening. "Professor Snape?" she shrieked, noticing the sallow-skinned professor for the first time.

"Yeah, he's doing some thinking over there on that rock," Pansy explained.

"What kind of thinking?" she asked curiously.

"Don't have any idea; probably a cross between elephants guts……and Armageddon."

"It's probably the first one," Mandy grinned. "Anyways, you better go back to the castle," Mandy said, shooing Jenna Marie away. "We don't want Hogwarts students getting killed tonight."

"Yeah? Well, I want to get killed!" Jenna Marie exclaimed. "And there's nothing you can do to stop from me going dead!" Mandy stared at her. "I know that doesn't make sense and is wrong grammatically, but who cares? I like potatoes!" she screamed before taking off in the direction of Hogwarts.

"Wait! We still haven't asked her why she reacted that way when you said you didn't have a shining black band on your arm!" Pansy cried.

Mandy waved her hand in the air. "It's okay. She's just a little fifteen-year-old girl. What harm could she do?"

Pansy stared at the retreating shadow of Jenna Marie Rose. "I'm almost afraid to ask."

OoOoOoO

"Hey, Hermione, I'm going to try to connect with a Hogwarts fireplace," Harry called, sticking his head out of the fireplace. Hermione nodded in reply.

"Okay, now, if I wanted to connect with a fireplace in the Hogsmeade area, I would wait thirty-five seconds," Harry said to himself as he skimmed over a Europe Floo Destination Packet lying on top of the mantle. "So, if I wanted to go to a place remotely east of Hogsmeade, I would wait thirty-four-point-nine seconds. Hmm…oi, Hermione, can you double-check this for me? I never really excelled with numbers and graph plottings…fireplace plottings…things…"

Hermione sighed and carried her cup of coffee over to the fireplace. "Wait thirty-four-point-seven seconds," she said after a few seconds. "Thirty-four-point-nine seconds would've connected you with a random fireplace in Matilda Castle."

"Oh, thanks."

As Harry resumed fiddling with the fireplace, Hermione absentmindedly thumbed through a book. "Hey," she said, struck by a sudden thought. "Doesn't it strike you as odd that we're in Malfoy Manor and we're not scared to death or anything?"

Harry looked up. "Well…we're a bit bored, so I suppose our actions could be justified."

"Harry, we ate their ice cream, we used their Magic 8 Ball, we're using their fireplace and Floo, and now I'm reading their book, which, by the way, is rather an interesting perspective on purebloods," Hermione finished, smiling wryly.

Harry smiled. "Well, then, keep on reading it, and I'll keep on trying to Floo someone."

Hermione shrugged and immersed herself in the book again.

While happily skimming through chapter four (Pureblooded Marriages), Hermione heard a scuffling in the fireplace.

"What the – ?!"

"Ouch, what the hell is this?"

"Get off my back, Ron!"

"You get off my leg first!"

"Harry…" Hermione said slowly, closing her book. "Why do those voices sound like Draco, Ginny, and Ron?"

"That's because they are Draco, Ginny, and Ron," Harry answered calmly, pointing at the green-and-silver Slytherin tie and Chudley Cannon sock that was swinging at the edge of the flames.

"Draco? Ron? Ginny?" Hermione called. "If you can hear me, then just stay calm; Harry and I will explode this fireplace or something."

"Hermione? What are you doing at Malfoy Manor?" Draco's voice, slightly muffled, came through the brick walls of the fireplace.

"What are you doing at Malfoy Manor?" Harry retorted. Then he blinked. "Never mind."

"Oh, by the way, please don't explode the fireplace. My grandfather hid some dynamite up here and if you explode the fireplace, there'll be a very high chance of us dying…" Draco's nervous voice trailed off.

"Well, then should we pull you out?" Harry asked, coming closer to the fire and immediately jumping back with a yelp as one of the flames danced onto his arm.

Ginny suddenly groaned. "Why did we all Floo in at the same time?"

"Speaking of which, the fire that Malfoy conjured is illegal!" Ron shouted. "He replaced some woman named Mrs. Figg's fireplace with the one he made on the Hogwarts grounds and connected that one to the Floo Network. So he's a felon!" Ron's voice sounded gleeful. "We can turn him in at the Ministry when we get back!"

"Might I remind you that you also used the illegal fire?" Draco asked, with just a hint of warning in his voice. "So, unless you want to be my father's next-cell neighbor, don't even think about it."

Hermione suddenly chuckled. "Next-cell neighbor. You're funny, Draco!" As Harry looked at her in surprise, she continued. "You know what else is funny? You have a Magic 8 Ball! Now that's really the icing on top of the cake!" Hermione wheezed out.

"How did you know I have a Magic 8 Ball?"

"It was lying on your shelf, Malfoy, for the whole world to see," Harry sighed.

"Shut up, Pothead."

"Hey, you want to know something else that is just hil-ar-io-us?" Hermione laughed. "I actually asked the Magic 8 Ball if you loved me! And I did it more than once! Now, is that funny or funny?"

There was suddenly silence in the room. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the flames from the fireplaces dancing merrily, crackling on the stone floor.

"You what?"

As Hermione opened her mouth, there was a crash, and Draco, Ron, and Ginny, all covered with soot and dust, fell out and landed on top of each other.

Draco quickly jumped to his feet and smoothed down his shirt. "Er…would you mind repeating that again?"

OoOoOoO

Severus Snape was having the time of his life explaining to Pansy Parkinson and Mandy Brocklehurst about the glowing black band that was wrapped around Pansy's arm.

"You see," he smirked smugly. "This band obviously is made of numbers and letters, a secret code of sorts which, if properly cracked, will spell out a person, place, or thing."

"Really? Bestow upon us more of your intelligence," Mandy said sarcastically.

Snape ignored her. "The letters R, S, E, and O are used commonly through this code. Therefore, I can assume that the creator of this used a word that can be made up of those letters as a grid for the alphabet."

"Do solve more mysteries, Sherlock," Pansy muttered, wrenching her arm away from Snape's grasp.

"So, we just need to pair up the letters R, S, E, and O to the alphabet?" Mandy asked.

"I think that you should use either 'rose' or 'eros', as those two seem most likely."

"Rose!" Pansy suddenly cried out. "Jenna Marie Rose!"

Mandy shook her head. "It has to be a coincidence, no fifth year could pull a spell like this off."

"This was why many wars were lost!" Pansy yelled at Mandy. "They underestimated their opponent! You know Jenna Marie Rose, but do you really know the extent of her power?"

Mandy was quiet for a moment. "Well…I suppose we could try it…"

Snape picked up a twig and wrote the letters of the alphabet on the ground. "Okay, let's match 'em up."

Mandy and Pansy looked at each other. "Snape just said 'em', right?" Mandy whispered.

"I think he did," Pansy whispered back and Mandy shuddered.

"Alright, now we have,

'A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O'

or we could use 'eros', and have,

'A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

'E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R O S E R'

"That looks bloody amazing on the ground, but does it really mean something?" Mandy asked, rubbing her temples.

Snape shrugged. "Fill in the blanks, and we'll see."

OoOoOoO

Hermione was at a loss for words. Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.

Draco was still staring at her. Everyone else was staring at them, wondering what was going to happen next.

"I……I…….I have to go somewhere," Hermione whispered before she sprinted out of the room.

Draco instantly ran after her. "Hermione, wait!"

As Ron let out a huge breath, Harry and Ginny slumped on the couch.

"This is so unexpected," Ginny muttered.

Harry nodded. "She was asking the Magic 8 Ball if Malfoy loved her, and it kept on saying 'ask again later', which I now realize is useless to talk to you about, because you have no idea what a Magic 8 Ball is…" he trailed off.

"I hope Malfoy doesn't break Hermione's heart and say that he doesn't love her," Ron growled darkly. "Because if he is, he's going to be on Ron's List of Deceased People."

Ginny looked at him strangely. "Isn't Malfoy already on there?"

Ron blinked. "Good point." As more silence ensued, Ginny suddenly noticed who was sitting with her on the couch.

"Harry! You're here!" she exclaimed excitedly. "Hooray! We found you and 'Mione!"

Ron sighed. "But now we have another dilemma, Hermione and Malfoy."

"Argh!" Harry suddenly yelled. When Ron and Ginny stared at him, he threw up his hands. "Didn't you hear it? Hermione Malfoy!"

Ron stared at Harry. "I said Hermione and Malfoy."

Ginny sat up. "No offense to 'Mione, but Hermione Malfoy sounds horrible." As Harry and Ron nodded fervently, she continued. "Even Hermione Goyle sounds better!"

Harry blinked. "Well, that's taking it a little too far, Gin-Gin." He suddenly yelped as Ginny threw two pillows at him. "What was that for?"

Ginny smirked. "I told to never call me Gin-Gin. And since you just did, you shall suffer the Incredible Red Hulk's wrath!"

As she bombarded Harry with more pillows, Ron sighed and absentmindedly reached for a cookie on the table. "God, this place is so equipped for visitors…"

Meanwhile……

"Hermione, you can't run away from me forever! I've lived here all my life and I know this house better than you know Hogwarts, a History!" Draco yelled as he chased the mane of bushy brown hair down a drafty corridor.

"Slow down, young Malfoy!" a portrait of a blond-haired man wearing a dragon suit called.

"Can't, Uncle Culpaes!" Draco threw over his shoulder as he nearly dodged a swinging door. "This is a matter of life or death!"

"Oh, damn," he swore, as he came to a dead end. "Now where'd she go?" Then he remembered a secret passage behind one of the portraits and quickly opened it.

As he disappeared behind the portrait, the air near a trophy cup moved and said, "Thank god for Disillusionment Charms."

Hermione took out her wand and whispered the counter-curse. However, nothing happened.

"Oh, no……"

OoOoOoO

"Aha!" Mandy cried. "I've got 'de Vellofides'!"

"Well, I've got nothing with eros," Pansy sighed. "And I knew that man was trouble!" she smirked triumphantly. "So, was that it?"

"No, it looks like I still have one more word to go," Mandy said cheerfully. As she started to say something else, her words were drowned out by the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Mandy? What's that noise?" Pansy asked nervously.

"Get back!" Snape hissed. "This could be an army of Death Eaters."

"Actually, all Irish Death Eaters are at home, celebrating some Catholic holiday," Mandy stated.

"How do you know that?" Snape asked carefully.

"At least it was a few years back, and Professor Snapey-poo, infiltration."

Snape muttered something that didn't sound very PG-13 under his breath and whipped his wand out. "Stand back; I'll take care of this."

Pansy suddenly giggled. "Actually, I don't think you will." She pointed to the approaching figures. "It's Hogwarts students holding a demonstration march!"

"At night?" Snape screeched.

Pansy shrugged. "It seems so."

At the front moving block of black-robed students were Jenna Marie Rose, Diana Greengrass, Bri Leonard, Dominic Cortes, and Melody Brocklehurst.

Mandy took a tissue out. "This is just making me cry, seeing my cousin and her friends following in my footsteps!" she bawled.

"Hey, isn't the black-haired guy the Head Pervert of Gryffindor?" Pansy asked, pointing to Dominic Cortes. Dominic shot a nasty glare in her direction.

Mandy stopped crying. "I think you're right…………wait……..what?! Bri Leonard is actually leading this, too?! Oh, my……."

"Look at what's written on the posters," Pansy gigged.

'We're Pleading for Participation!' was one of the more catchy ones, 'Cash in with the Charms Conspiracy Cause!' was another one. 'Fight, Die, and Fight Again!' was a more humorous one, accompanied by a descriptive drawing of a battle scene. And 'Kill You-Know-Who, and we won't lose!' was just one of many war slogans.

"This is amazing," Mandy breathed. "All my life I've dreamed of this. But there was always something in the way. But tonight, I'm not going to let that affect me! If living vicariously makes me happy, then so be it!" she declared as she ran towards the crowd.

Pansy looked at Snape. "I'm going with her. See you later," she smirked.

Snape frowned. "I've gotten so used to being around people, I don't like being alone, anymore," he mumbled. "Oh, well. I might as well sit on this rock and do more thinking about Armageddon."

OoOoOoO

"Draco!" Hermione yelled, seeing the flash of blond hair. Draco stopped dead in his tracks and slowly turned around.

"……Hermione?" he asked incredulously. "Where are you?"

"I'm invisible," Hermione said miserably.

Draco looked confused. "Well, then, take off the Invisibility Cloak."

"I can't. I put a Disillusionment Charm on myself, but it somehow screwed up because the counter-curse doesn't work."

Draco's hands were moving around all over the place; one of his arms nearly whacked Hermione in the face. She lightly tapped his shoulder.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Draco screamed jumping about a foot in the air. "I mean," he gasped out, "You…"

Hermione giggled. "I like your laugh," Draco suddenly said. Then blushed. "Keep on laughing, and let's pretend your laugh drowned out that last comment."

Hermione pinched his arm. "Ow! What'd you do that for?" Draco yelled.

"Nothing."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Even though I can't see you, I can see you if I close my eyes and imagine a Hermione in front of me."

"Actually, she's in back of you."

"Technicality!"

"Hey, do you realize that this is the first time we've ever been alone in a room together?" Hermione asked.

Draco looked amazed. "It's so strange. We've spent seven years at Hogwarts together, yet we've never actually been alone."

"Maybe it's Malfoy Manor's magical powers!" Hermione grinned. "Your house could be enchanted so that people come out with engagement rings on! Or – "

" – Hey, there's my carrot!" Draco exclaimed, pointing to a small carrot that was lying on top of a cabinet.

"I never thought you were a carrot person."

"Well, when carrots taste like apple, I like them."

"That's funny, because the time you gave me a carrot to eat, I tasted apple. Maybe it's a special breed – "

"You tasted WHAT?"

"Apple. Didn't you hear me that day?"

Draco nearly fainted. "No…"

"Well, I did."

"That means you're my true love!" Draco managed out after a long silence.

"I am?" And before Draco could say anything, Hermione shrieked a banshee scream. "YES!" she screamed, punching the air. "Take that, Magic 8 Ball!"

OoOoOoO

A/N – A belated Christmas present to you guys!

I'm sick of complimenting you guys...jk, my WONDERFUL reviews!

The Melting Snowflake - The Melting Snowflake sounds very funny in my mind...I have no idea why. I keep on getting this image of a snowflake going near a fire and it's like, "NOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M MELTING!" Anyways, how was it confusing? Like, what parts?

luvHaru7 - Great guess...but all will be revealed in the next chapter as the gang uncover who is the traitor and who is the ally. (that sounds quite a bit like a suspense novel...) And no, I'm not kicking, but I'm sitting!

1rosebyanyothername - Voldemort's has some very traumatic incidents when he was younger. By the laws of psychiatry, the aftereffects show up in middle-age-hood. Which means that Voldemort might've been a bully hiding behind insults when he was younger..cough cough. Now, he's hiding behind the Quibbler.

WinnieThaPoo92 - Thank you! And being funny is all I have, since I neither have the seriousness or looks to make a path for myself. Ehh...this story is still pretty cliche. Well, actually, everything in fanfiction is cliche because every writer has to get at least one idea from someone else.

Sam's Firefly - She is! And she's smarter than she looks, to give them a code and lead a protest! Congratulations for making up a decisively evil, albeit small and skinny character! By the way, I sent you an email about Jenna Marie Rose's name, but I don't think you got it since email thing isn't working too good for me.

serpentine17ice - Ooh, that's actually something that I haven't thought about! But no, it was Jenna Marie Rose, who makes a cameo in this chapter. But you know this already, so...yeah...

Additional thanks to me, Your Mom Is My Heart, HotKat144, Brittany, superelle, Purple Potion, lyssa-kissa, White-Pink-Fluffy-Strawberriez, and School-of-Rock101 (I reviewed!)

Please review!

- Lily in a Pond