Chapter Forty-Seven: When All Returns to Black
Harry couldn't sleep that night.
Sure he knew Hermione loved Malfoy, and yes he was aware of EVERYTHING. Hermione was after all, a decent recorder of events.
However, 'reading' about something and 'seeing' it, were two entirely different things. He had felt his stomach turn when he saw Malfoy holding his devastated friend.
So many things had happened to him, he had hoped that at least his friends would remain untouched. This new insight however, left him to wonder.
He felt sad, and understanding of his foster sister/ friend. The three of them had been through so much, yet Hermione hadn't necessarily needed to be involved. He took her for granted so much that he had started to hate himself.
Life, for Harry James Potter, moved and changed entirely to fast. How often had he just wanted to shout at the top of his lungs "STOP!" and just sit there as time lie frozen around him.
He needed his friends, but he wasn't sure who they were exactly. Pansy Parkinson still glared at him as she had done for years, but smiled at Ron, who smiled in return.
He knew he shouldn't, but Harry somehow felt betrayed, abandoned, lonely.
He needed his friends, he loved his friends.
He just wasn't sure what he would do when it came to 'their' friends.
He touched his dragon pendant with its red eyes and black body.
'what do you think?'
'why do you feel you even need those people?' a dark deep voice responded.
'my life is so hard to handle, friends make it easier to bare.'
'Why?' the dragon responded.
'because they,' he stopped, not knowing how to put it exactly.
'support most of your responsibilities? Are there so you can place worries from your shoulders to theirs?'
'No, They - Understand.'
'understand?' the voice repeated, ' I doubt it, they haven't lost the people you have, they haven't been though what you have.'
'that's true.' Harry said simply, 'but they care.'
'and exactly how does that make them necessary?'
'because if I didn't have people around me who cared, then I wouldn't have the strength to live each day.'
'it doesn't seem like the ones you have told me about care, they seem to rapped up in their little lives to notice how much your hurting.'
'It would be selfish of me to insist that they lived each day around me. I'm not the center of the universe, and I have never wanted to be.'
'but you are, thing happen around you, because you are there. Voldemort attacks people close to you, because they are close to you. Like it or not little one, you have become the center of the universe, and you know it.'
'I'm not the center,' Harry responded softly, 'Hermione sees an eye, not me, when she observes everything at once. Since she can see everything as it is, I know I can't be the center.'
'then perhaps she is?'
'no, I never said that, and I would never wish it on anyone.'
'Harry, child, your hurting, maybe if you want those friends back, you should tell them your hurting and ask for help. You are very stubborn, and prideful. The very things you don't want to be. You can't save the world alone and you don't want to, so ask for help, don't try to fight everything by yourself. Its what that witch friend of yours does.'
'what do you mean?' Harry snapped, 'what about Hermione?'
'she can see everything in its truest form, but before she 'truly' could, she started giving out the gift, Ron has it Malfoy has it Parkinson, Dora Ray Abbott and Tom, they all share parts of her power.'
'why?'
'because she knows that to shoulder such a burden alone is madness.'
'then'
'perhaps Harry, your anger and mistrust is spawned from a growing madness in your self caused by your mass burden, sharing is key to control. You don't move a million books at once do you? You move maybe one or two at a time.'
'yes, Iguess you're right, maybe Hermione and the others can help me, gods know I need all the help I can get. Thank you for your wisdom Nox, it seems to be the very thing I need at times.'
'I'm only here to help little one, whenever you're in need, I'll be here.'
'thank you'
And Harry gently let go of the black pendant and let it lay on his chest.
Tomorrow he would go talk to Malfoy, if he needed help he would first patch up as many problem as he could.
The first on his mind was his relation ship with Malfoy.
If Ron and Hermione could forgive him, then certainly he could as well.
But first, he would ask for forgiveness.
After all 'the first step to heaven is not to forgive but asked to be forgiven' He wanted to show Malfoy he 'wanted' his friendship not that he was willing to 'have' it.
For that to work, he needed to show that he was sincere, and what better a way then sacrificing his dignity?
With that, Harry fell into a deep sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione sat up in bed, sighing. She brushed off her blankets and walked over to the mirror.
"I look horrible." She stated to it.
"Of COURSE not dearie!" the mirror cried back, "You just woke up, you're supposed to look like that. I would know, I AM a mirror, its my job."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Sure, how do you explain why my eyes 'still' look puffy everyday after I'm done with my beauty charms?"
"."
Hermione sighed, this was going to be another long day.
After Brushing her hair, applying charms and dressing, Hermione stepped out of her room, and saw the very thing she wasn't expecting.
All seven of her accomplices were circled around a couch. Correction, six. Ron was sitting next to the black haired boy.
Harry. She realized.
Clearing her throat all of her fellow court members turned at looked at her shocked.
"Harry, are they bothering you?" she asked glaring at each of them. She hadn't had proper sleep for ages, and was highly susceptible to mood swings.
"NO!" he stood up like he was just threatened to be forever separated from brooms. "I-." he looked down, "I actually wanted to talk to-um."
"Me?" she asked.
"Actually," he started slowly, like he was in trouble, "Icametotalktomalfoy."
"Pardon?" the room announced. They were all very good at hearing.
"I came to talk to Malfoy!" he shouted, "Is that ok?"
"Sure I'll talk to you Potter." Draco smirked from his place in the loop, "One must be curious as to why though."
"I just want to talk, alone ok?" Harry snapped.
Draco raised his left eyebrow, "Really?" he said curious. Shrugging he headed for the door, "Come on Potter, you wanted to talk."
Harry and Draco left.
"Someone," Hermione said softly, "Mind explaining what happened?"
"Well," Hanna stared, "Harry was knocking on the door,"
"Banging!" Pansy amended. "He kept chanting 'Let me in'."
"Of course we were woken up, so Pansy went and got the twins here." Hanna pointed to Dora and Ray.
"I was woken up by Harry yelling that he wanted to see someone." Tom added.
"I came in a few minutes later," Ron continued, "I saw was Harry gone so I came up here, Draco was already at Harry's throat when I entered, Tom sat Harry on the couch."
"I suggested that Ron defend Harry just in case, then when we were ready to begin the questioning," Hanna continued.
"You walked in." Pansy finished.
"I see." Hermione looked point blank at her childhood friends, "Home. Now."
They both nodded, wished every one well, then vanished through the fire place.
Sighing, the Queen of Hearts sat down in her chair. "Its to early in the morning," she whined.
"You had a long night," Tom sat down a cup of coffee in front of her, that Hermione gratefully took and sipped deeply.
"Thank you, Tom." After her second sip she looked up at her friends. "Please Sit, I have a lot to explain and I don't want you standing the entire time."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*
Harry and Draco walked for a long time in silence, a good two people apart.
It wasn't a strained silence. It was closer to confusion.
Harry simply didn't know where to start, and Draco was lost as to why boy wonder wanted to talk to him alone.
"So," Draco took the initiative. "Why me?" it sounded odd, even to his own ears.
Harry stopped and looked at the man he knew Hermione was in love with. Draco stopped once he realized he was the only one walking, and turned to look back at Harry.
Taking a deep breath, Harry said simply, and clearly, "I'm sorry."
Draco turned completely Raising an eyebrow, "Why are you apologizing to me?" he demanded, lost and confused.
"Because, I'm been a complete git, to Hermione, Ron everyone, but most importantly, you."
"Me?" Draco walked over to Harry. He could tell that he was having trouble, and talking over a distance must not help much.
"Yeah, you." Harry looked Draco in the eye, "I love Hermione, or I use to."
Draco definitely wasn't expecting this.
"You've been helping her out, being close to her, a true friend." Harry let out a sharp laugh, "And what have I done but add to her anxiety?"
Draco looked at him, trying to figure out what was going on, "So you are apologizing to me, for acting like a git to her, I'm lost."
"No," Harry faced his once nemesis, "I'm apologizing to you for making you put up with me, and my selfishness. I wanted to apologize for being a git to you," Harry took a breath calming himself down and releasing his clenched fists. "I felt my action were wrong, and that they effected you the most next to Mione. So I'm asking for your forgiveness."
Draco swallowed all that was said and held out his hand, "I forgive you, want to be friends?"
Harry looked up and smiled, a true smiled that made Draco want to step back a few feet.
"Sure! Thanks, Mate." With that last word Harry hit Draco's hand in a fierce shake.
"No problem," Draco said not quite sure whether he should be scared or not.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AN: Chapter 47 at your feet.
Yes I have been jumping about in this story lately. No it wont continue.
Now that I have Harry and everyone where I need them, let the fun begin!
The fun, note, may take a few chapters to actually START. So yeah.
Review.
RelenaS
P.S. I know this was a very lame chapter, but I needed it done.
*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*
AN:
First of all, Spooky, you probably recognize that live Harry used in the start of the chapter. Yep that was from you ^_^ I loved it so much I had to put it into this part. Harry was going to do that, but it made it SOOOOOO much easier to explain because of what you said!!! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
All of you are so understanding it makes me want to cry, you guys are the best! Your feedback is always welcome and has helped me greatly.
I appreciate the understanding you all have for me, and I'm grateful to have such wonderful dedicated readers!!
Thank you, I got this out as soon as I could as my thank you.
^_^THANKS^_^
RelenaS
Harry couldn't sleep that night.
Sure he knew Hermione loved Malfoy, and yes he was aware of EVERYTHING. Hermione was after all, a decent recorder of events.
However, 'reading' about something and 'seeing' it, were two entirely different things. He had felt his stomach turn when he saw Malfoy holding his devastated friend.
So many things had happened to him, he had hoped that at least his friends would remain untouched. This new insight however, left him to wonder.
He felt sad, and understanding of his foster sister/ friend. The three of them had been through so much, yet Hermione hadn't necessarily needed to be involved. He took her for granted so much that he had started to hate himself.
Life, for Harry James Potter, moved and changed entirely to fast. How often had he just wanted to shout at the top of his lungs "STOP!" and just sit there as time lie frozen around him.
He needed his friends, but he wasn't sure who they were exactly. Pansy Parkinson still glared at him as she had done for years, but smiled at Ron, who smiled in return.
He knew he shouldn't, but Harry somehow felt betrayed, abandoned, lonely.
He needed his friends, he loved his friends.
He just wasn't sure what he would do when it came to 'their' friends.
He touched his dragon pendant with its red eyes and black body.
'what do you think?'
'why do you feel you even need those people?' a dark deep voice responded.
'my life is so hard to handle, friends make it easier to bare.'
'Why?' the dragon responded.
'because they,' he stopped, not knowing how to put it exactly.
'support most of your responsibilities? Are there so you can place worries from your shoulders to theirs?'
'No, They - Understand.'
'understand?' the voice repeated, ' I doubt it, they haven't lost the people you have, they haven't been though what you have.'
'that's true.' Harry said simply, 'but they care.'
'and exactly how does that make them necessary?'
'because if I didn't have people around me who cared, then I wouldn't have the strength to live each day.'
'it doesn't seem like the ones you have told me about care, they seem to rapped up in their little lives to notice how much your hurting.'
'It would be selfish of me to insist that they lived each day around me. I'm not the center of the universe, and I have never wanted to be.'
'but you are, thing happen around you, because you are there. Voldemort attacks people close to you, because they are close to you. Like it or not little one, you have become the center of the universe, and you know it.'
'I'm not the center,' Harry responded softly, 'Hermione sees an eye, not me, when she observes everything at once. Since she can see everything as it is, I know I can't be the center.'
'then perhaps she is?'
'no, I never said that, and I would never wish it on anyone.'
'Harry, child, your hurting, maybe if you want those friends back, you should tell them your hurting and ask for help. You are very stubborn, and prideful. The very things you don't want to be. You can't save the world alone and you don't want to, so ask for help, don't try to fight everything by yourself. Its what that witch friend of yours does.'
'what do you mean?' Harry snapped, 'what about Hermione?'
'she can see everything in its truest form, but before she 'truly' could, she started giving out the gift, Ron has it Malfoy has it Parkinson, Dora Ray Abbott and Tom, they all share parts of her power.'
'why?'
'because she knows that to shoulder such a burden alone is madness.'
'then'
'perhaps Harry, your anger and mistrust is spawned from a growing madness in your self caused by your mass burden, sharing is key to control. You don't move a million books at once do you? You move maybe one or two at a time.'
'yes, Iguess you're right, maybe Hermione and the others can help me, gods know I need all the help I can get. Thank you for your wisdom Nox, it seems to be the very thing I need at times.'
'I'm only here to help little one, whenever you're in need, I'll be here.'
'thank you'
And Harry gently let go of the black pendant and let it lay on his chest.
Tomorrow he would go talk to Malfoy, if he needed help he would first patch up as many problem as he could.
The first on his mind was his relation ship with Malfoy.
If Ron and Hermione could forgive him, then certainly he could as well.
But first, he would ask for forgiveness.
After all 'the first step to heaven is not to forgive but asked to be forgiven' He wanted to show Malfoy he 'wanted' his friendship not that he was willing to 'have' it.
For that to work, he needed to show that he was sincere, and what better a way then sacrificing his dignity?
With that, Harry fell into a deep sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hermione sat up in bed, sighing. She brushed off her blankets and walked over to the mirror.
"I look horrible." She stated to it.
"Of COURSE not dearie!" the mirror cried back, "You just woke up, you're supposed to look like that. I would know, I AM a mirror, its my job."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "Sure, how do you explain why my eyes 'still' look puffy everyday after I'm done with my beauty charms?"
"."
Hermione sighed, this was going to be another long day.
After Brushing her hair, applying charms and dressing, Hermione stepped out of her room, and saw the very thing she wasn't expecting.
All seven of her accomplices were circled around a couch. Correction, six. Ron was sitting next to the black haired boy.
Harry. She realized.
Clearing her throat all of her fellow court members turned at looked at her shocked.
"Harry, are they bothering you?" she asked glaring at each of them. She hadn't had proper sleep for ages, and was highly susceptible to mood swings.
"NO!" he stood up like he was just threatened to be forever separated from brooms. "I-." he looked down, "I actually wanted to talk to-um."
"Me?" she asked.
"Actually," he started slowly, like he was in trouble, "Icametotalktomalfoy."
"Pardon?" the room announced. They were all very good at hearing.
"I came to talk to Malfoy!" he shouted, "Is that ok?"
"Sure I'll talk to you Potter." Draco smirked from his place in the loop, "One must be curious as to why though."
"I just want to talk, alone ok?" Harry snapped.
Draco raised his left eyebrow, "Really?" he said curious. Shrugging he headed for the door, "Come on Potter, you wanted to talk."
Harry and Draco left.
"Someone," Hermione said softly, "Mind explaining what happened?"
"Well," Hanna stared, "Harry was knocking on the door,"
"Banging!" Pansy amended. "He kept chanting 'Let me in'."
"Of course we were woken up, so Pansy went and got the twins here." Hanna pointed to Dora and Ray.
"I was woken up by Harry yelling that he wanted to see someone." Tom added.
"I came in a few minutes later," Ron continued, "I saw was Harry gone so I came up here, Draco was already at Harry's throat when I entered, Tom sat Harry on the couch."
"I suggested that Ron defend Harry just in case, then when we were ready to begin the questioning," Hanna continued.
"You walked in." Pansy finished.
"I see." Hermione looked point blank at her childhood friends, "Home. Now."
They both nodded, wished every one well, then vanished through the fire place.
Sighing, the Queen of Hearts sat down in her chair. "Its to early in the morning," she whined.
"You had a long night," Tom sat down a cup of coffee in front of her, that Hermione gratefully took and sipped deeply.
"Thank you, Tom." After her second sip she looked up at her friends. "Please Sit, I have a lot to explain and I don't want you standing the entire time."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*
Harry and Draco walked for a long time in silence, a good two people apart.
It wasn't a strained silence. It was closer to confusion.
Harry simply didn't know where to start, and Draco was lost as to why boy wonder wanted to talk to him alone.
"So," Draco took the initiative. "Why me?" it sounded odd, even to his own ears.
Harry stopped and looked at the man he knew Hermione was in love with. Draco stopped once he realized he was the only one walking, and turned to look back at Harry.
Taking a deep breath, Harry said simply, and clearly, "I'm sorry."
Draco turned completely Raising an eyebrow, "Why are you apologizing to me?" he demanded, lost and confused.
"Because, I'm been a complete git, to Hermione, Ron everyone, but most importantly, you."
"Me?" Draco walked over to Harry. He could tell that he was having trouble, and talking over a distance must not help much.
"Yeah, you." Harry looked Draco in the eye, "I love Hermione, or I use to."
Draco definitely wasn't expecting this.
"You've been helping her out, being close to her, a true friend." Harry let out a sharp laugh, "And what have I done but add to her anxiety?"
Draco looked at him, trying to figure out what was going on, "So you are apologizing to me, for acting like a git to her, I'm lost."
"No," Harry faced his once nemesis, "I'm apologizing to you for making you put up with me, and my selfishness. I wanted to apologize for being a git to you," Harry took a breath calming himself down and releasing his clenched fists. "I felt my action were wrong, and that they effected you the most next to Mione. So I'm asking for your forgiveness."
Draco swallowed all that was said and held out his hand, "I forgive you, want to be friends?"
Harry looked up and smiled, a true smiled that made Draco want to step back a few feet.
"Sure! Thanks, Mate." With that last word Harry hit Draco's hand in a fierce shake.
"No problem," Draco said not quite sure whether he should be scared or not.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AN: Chapter 47 at your feet.
Yes I have been jumping about in this story lately. No it wont continue.
Now that I have Harry and everyone where I need them, let the fun begin!
The fun, note, may take a few chapters to actually START. So yeah.
Review.
RelenaS
P.S. I know this was a very lame chapter, but I needed it done.
*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*
AN:
First of all, Spooky, you probably recognize that live Harry used in the start of the chapter. Yep that was from you ^_^ I loved it so much I had to put it into this part. Harry was going to do that, but it made it SOOOOOO much easier to explain because of what you said!!! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
All of you are so understanding it makes me want to cry, you guys are the best! Your feedback is always welcome and has helped me greatly.
I appreciate the understanding you all have for me, and I'm grateful to have such wonderful dedicated readers!!
Thank you, I got this out as soon as I could as my thank you.
^_^THANKS^_^
RelenaS