Author's Note: Hey you guys! I hope you like this chapter…it has my first goopy scene. goopy as in makes your stomach sick from all of the sweetness…lol. Enjoy I hope. Oh and if there are any grammatical errors then please forgive me…I swear I don't know how I passed all of my English classes with all of the grammar errors I make! Mandy
Hermione didn't know how many times she had visited this balcony. This spot offered her some peace and quiet for a change as well as a gorgeous view of everything the surrounding area had to offer. Sometimes she would come here with a book and snuggle up in a blanket and other times she would come just to sit and clear her head; with everything that went on in her life it tended to get a bit cluttered with thoughts and ideas.
The crisp, cool air swam over her face and made her feel refreshed after being in the stuffy castle all day.
Sighing, Hermione laid down on the fluffy blue blanket she had brought with her. It was beginning to get dark and soon the stars would be out; star gazing was one of her favorite past times.
She and Ginny had stayed in the library for about two hours when Ginny had started to get a bit restless and decided to leave. Hermione stayed behind with the excuse that she had to study but when Ginny left, Hermione conjured up a blanket and headed to her favorite spot. None of her friends knew about the balcony and Hermione liked it that way. It was something she had all to herself, while the rest of her life was practically an open book, and nothing too exciting other then being a witch and one of Harry Potter's best friends.
Just as the first few stars began to light up the darkening sky, Hermione heard a noise. Someone had coughed to get her attention. She sat up and turned around. Her honey colored eyes met with dark, coffee colored ones.
As she stared up at Tom she seemed to lose the repose that had just filled her. She wanted to say something, but her mouth felt like it was glued shut. Why was she acting like a silly girl with a crush? Tom was just a friend.
She wondered who would break the silence that seemed to be choking the air around them. She didn't have to wait long.
"Hey," Tom told her softly. Too softly she thought.
Hermione just stared at him for a moment and noticed that Tom looked rather sickly. He was very pale and beads of sweat were forming on his face, but none of them dripped down. He also looked wary, as if he had just seen something that made him question everything.
"Tom are you ok?" She asked, concern dripping in her voice.
Tom just shook his head 'no' as a reply. He was too ashamed to talk to her. Why should she even be talking to him? He didn't deserve her friendship or anyone else's. He didn't deserve anything...
"Why...are you here," Tom asked suspiciously. If he couldn't even trust himself then why should he trust someone like her? He didn't even really know her.
"I often come here to think or to just relax." Hermione didn't like how he had questioned her, like she was up to something.
"How did you find this place?" he spat nastily. "No one knows about this place but me." He didn't know why he was getting mad at her. Maybe he needed someone else to blame for something.
"If you wanted me to leave," Hermione said getting up. "Then all you had to do was ask. I can see that you want to be alone." She gloomily picked up her blanket and started to walk past him when suddenly he grabbed her arm and pulled her in front of him.
"No...please don't go Hermione. I am sorry I snapped at you...it's just..." he sighed, not knowing what to say to her. He looked down into her eyes and saw fear there. Why is she afraid, he thought. I would never do anything to her…
"What happened?" she asked, fearful of being alone with an upset Tom where no one could help her. She trusted him but he still had a long way to go before he was Voldemort free. What if he did something to her?
"Why are you trembling Hermione?" Tom inquired her gently. "I would never hurt you...I am just afraid of something I saw." Tom had loosened his grip on her arm, but he still held on to it.
"Tell me," Hermione said gently.
Tom just stared at her moment before he answered. "Harry has shown me a memory of his...a memory with him and Lord Voldemort. I...I have seen what I become. He has told me about how you all know of the Chamber of Secrets…about how I had used Ginny to open it…about how I hurt you." Tom had begun to rub his thumb in her small circles on her arm. He felt her shiver under his touch and he smiled lightly.
"Cold?" he asked in a soft voice.
"N-no." she whispered. "I um- I just...don't know what to think," she quickly changed the subject, not wanting him to press upon why she was shivering. "I can't believe Harry would play show-and-tell already about your future. You are not ready to know or see some things yet."
"I know I am not, but I just had to see. I had to know...it's just the way I am. I have to know everything, not caring what it will do to me or to others. I guess I am just selfish that way."
"Tom, you are not selfish. I can see it in your eyes how much it pained you to learn all of those things. You are going to learn a lot of terrible things about yourself, but we will be there for you and help you get through it. We care about you Tom, more so than you think. Even if you don't have faith in yourself, we still have faith in you... I have faith in you." She smiled, sincere about everything she had said.
"Do you?" he asked, slightly cocking his head to the side. "Why do you care so much Ms. Granger?" Tom had removed the blanket from her hands and let it fall to the floor and he began to tenderly push Hermione backward, holding onto her back so that she wouldn't fall.
"I hate formalities Mr. Riddle," she murmured. She felt her heart begin to race and suddenly it had become hard for her to breathe properly. What was he trying to do? Seduce her? They barely even knew each other.
She felt her back bump into the balustrade and she gasped slightly. Tom was practically on top of her now; she could feel his heartbeat as it bumped at a faster rate then normal. Hers was beating just as fast.
"I'll have to remember that Hermione," he said, his voice husky. He knew he shouldn't be taking advantage of her like this, but he couldn't help it. She was so perfect, so available, so kind…and he needed that, he had always needed that but had never gotten it from anyone.
"T-tom," Hermione stuttered. "You are only doing this b-because you are upset." She wasn't sure of what to do or say…she was too scared to even think straight. "You just need to calm down for a minute." Tom had begun running his hand down her arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his fingers wake. All of her protesting only made him want her more.
He was slowly lowering his face while he kept strong eye contact with her. He had gotten so close that now his lips were ghosting over hers and Hermione could feel his warm breathe on her mouth.
"Tom, were j-just friends. I brought you here to help you, n-not for this." She wanted to move out of his grasp but she found that she couldn't even look away from him.
"You are helping me," he breathed. He was letting all of that pain build up inside and he needed to let it out. He wanted someone to take care of him, to be there for him when he felt lost like he did now. Hermione was the one he wanted with her innocent soul and her beauty.
He stopped his actions for a moment just to look at her. She looked stunning draped in moonlight. Her skin took on an almost ethereal glow and her eyes sparkled like the stars in the sky.
"Tom listen we should just…." She was suddenly silenced as he pressed his lips to hers.
She was so shocked at what was happening that she stood frozen for a few seconds. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to stop him and at the same time she wanted to kiss him back.
She focused on his lips that were desperately trying to get her to respond and she found that she couldn't take it anymore.
She kissed him…..
Tom almost squealed in happiness as he felt her lips move. She was kissing him! And what a wonderful kiss it was.
It was soft and gentle, as if she was kissing a butterfly wing and was afraid of hurting it. Tom felt his knees begin to give way. He had kissed girls before, but they were usually rushed and sloppy, wet kisses. This kiss was almost unreal…too good to be true.
He began to run his hands through her silky curls while she brought her hands up around his neck and rested them there.
His fingers moved to her pretty little face and he delighted in the fact that his caress could make her shiver.
That kiss was everything he was not, and everything he hoped to become. It was soft and innocent and slow and perfect…just like Hermione was.
Suddenly, to Tom's extreme disappointment, Hermione disengaged from him and looked up into his eyes. He looked confused and very let down, while she looked a bit shocked and flustered.
"I-I'm sorry Hermione," Tom began, although he was not really sorry at all. "I didn't...I never meant to take advantage of you like this. I just...felt badly about before with what I had seen with Harry." Why was he lying like this all of the sudden? Sure he did feel bad but that was not the reason he had kissed her.
"It's ok Tom, I know you are just really upset," she told him, not meeting his eyes. She didn't know why she had stopped kissing him. Maybe it was just her old sensible self taking control again. To be honest, she felt a bit foolish. He had only kissed her because he needed to escape from his pain. It wasn't that he really liked her like that…not how she liked him.
She felt lost now and knew that she had to get away from Tom. Why did she have to like him so much when he didn't feel the same way?
"I'll just go then..." she told him sadly.
"No Hermione, you don't have to..."
"Its ok Tom," she cut him off. "I am tired anyways and I have to study a bit. Have a good night." She picked up her blanket and rushed out down the hall, leaving behind a dejected Tom Riddle who felt like he had just won some kind of amazing prize only to have it snatched away.
Why did he have to come on to her like that? He had scared her away and not only that...he had made it sound as if he had only used her to take away his pain. But that was not true; he wanted to be with Hermione…but he was too afraid to tell her that. He was too scared to admit to her that he cared A LOT for her.
Wow, he thought suddenly, I really do care about them...all of them. If something had happened to Harry, Ron, Ginny or Hermione, then he would be completely lost. These people were his stability; they gave him strength, and they cared about him.
It was amazing that he had figured all of this out in only a day and a half. It must be the Gryffindor in me, the thought as a smirk lit up his face, only to slide right off again. What was he going to do around Hermione? How could he act like he didn't like her?
And he couldn't like her… That was out of the question. He would just have to get over her and…and….
He didn't know what to do yet. But he knew he couldn't tell anyone else about his feelings for her. Not until they were gone.
It was starting to get really cold so Tom decided to head back to the common room. As he walked in he was greeted by a worried looking Harry, Ginny, and Ron, all of whom were sitting on couches near the fire.
"Hey Tom," they all called out in unison. "Where have you been mate?" Harry asked, looking nervously at him.
"I'm fine," he told Harry with a small but reassuring smile. "I have just been walking around and getting acquainted with the Hogwarts of the future. I also went outside to get a little bit of fresh air." And screw things completely up with Hermione, he thought sadly.
"You sure you're ok Tom?" Ron asked. "Harry told us about what happened, you know, in case you wanted to talk about it with us."
Ginny nodded her head in agreement.
"The only thing I want Ron and Ginny is your forgiveness. But I can understand if that can't be given...I don't deserve it anyways."
"Tom," Ginny spoke up. "You already have our forgiveness, all of ours."
"But Ginny what I did to you was..."
"No Tom," she interrupted. "It is in the past and besides that was the old you. We are working on the new and improved you who doesn't suck the life out of eleven year old girls," she giggled.
"Thank you...all of you, I wish I could repay you all somehow for all of the chances you are giving me."
"All we ask is that you do everything you can to not become Voldemort," Harry told him.
"You know I will Harry." And truly he meant it.
"Good, then that's settled," Harry said happily and then his face darkened a bit. "Tom do you know what is wrong with Hermione?"
Tom blanched but tried to hide his panic by trying to sound casual.
"No Harry, I um...haven't seen her. Did she say anything to you about why she is upset?" He asked nervously.
"Well she just came in here about ten minutes before you did. She said she was fine but we could tell she was upset and she looked really flushed. She barely even looked at us and then said she was going to bed. I thought she may not be feeling well but Hermione has enough sense to go to the hospital wing when she's sick," Ginny told him.
Tom felt like the biggest asshole in the world.
"Maybe you should go check on her," Tom suggested, but Ginny only shook her head.
"She said she wanted to be alone. I hope nothing bad happened to her," Ginny said looking worried.
"Don't worry Ginny," her brother reassured her. "Hermione will come to us if it is serious."
"You're right Ron," Harry added. "For now we should just give her some time and space."
Tom felt really uncomfortable at the moment and really wanted to leave the room.
"I had better get some sleep myself. I already have some major tests tomorrow and I want to get enough rest tonight to make up for last night." He hoped they would buy his excuse.
"Sure Tom, you go get some sleep," Harry told him kindly.
Thank God that worked, Tom thought.
"We'll see you in the morning mate," replied Ron.
"Have a good night sleep Tom," Ginny told him with a smile.
"We'll be up in a little bit along with the other boys who should be here soon," Harry told him.
Tom nodded and said good night as well and then made his way up the stairs and to his room. Hopefully he would get some sleep and not think about Hermione too much.
But at the moment he couldn't help but picture her out on the balcony again...bathed in moonlight with her small back pressed against the stone wall. He could still smell her scent of pine and peppermint that he loved so much...and he could still feel her trembling under his touch.
He knew it would be a while before he could get to sleep.
"You guys don't think the reason Hermione was upset is because of Tom do you?" Ginny asked her friends as soon as Tom had left the room.
"I dunno Ginny," Harry told her. "But he did pale quite a bit when you mentioned she was upset. Maybe they did meet up and something happened?"
"You don't think they did anything and he hurt her do you?" Ron asked with anger rising in his voice. It was always obvious to Harry that Ron had a thing for Hermione, only the red-head had never done anything about it. He only managed to piss her off from time to time. It was easy to see that Ron was getting jealous at the thought of her and Tom snogging.
"Who knows Ron? We will just have to watch out for the both of them. I really don't fancy either of them getting hurt," Harry told him. He hoped that their plan was not falling apart already because of something that could have happened between them. They would just have to wait it out.
Later that night when the trio had went to bed, Ginny entered her room that was already full of sleeping girls. She had a feeling that Hermione wasn't though so she decided to try and talk to her.
Ginny walked over to her friend's bed and sat down on the edge. Hermione was on her side and was concentrating so hard on the wall that Ginny thought she was trying to burn a hole through it.
"Hermione…are you ok love?" Ginny asked softly. The brunette just shook her head and made no attempt to look at Ginny at all. When she was sad, Hermione always became a little distant and liked to be alone.
Ginny leaned down and kissed her best friend on the forehead. "When you are ready to talk Hermione, then I will be here. But until then you try and get some sleep." Ginny told her comfortingly. She had inherited her mum's natural concern for others….as well as her fiery attitude.
Hermione nodded her head in thanks and felt Ginny get up from her bed. She was really feeling miserable at the moment. Tom had made her feel a bit used, even though she knew that was not his intention. He was just in a lot of pain and shock.
She felt really dumb for kissing him when she knew she should have just stopped it before it began.
She laid there remembering what had just went on between them and couldn't help but feel puzzled. If he did not like her like that then why had he acted like he had? His touch was so soft and tender. It was as if she were a fragile, priceless doll that he was afraid of breaking.
She shivered when she remembered how his hands had swam over her skin and how his lips had hovered over hers while she tried (and failed) to stop the inevitable.
Hermione knew that things were going to be weird between them now and it only made her feel worse. The both of them would have to act like nothing had happened. But no matter how hard she tried, she knew she would never be able to forget the feel of his lips on hers.
If only he felt that same way, she thought sadly as she curled up under her blankets. Her eyes were beginning to flutter shut and her last conscious thought was of a certain dark haired beauty who had stolen her heart and then gave it back unwanted….
Oh la la…Hermione is one lucky girl eh? Eh? LOL… So how was my first kiss scene? I hope it sounded real. I know it was a bit too sweet but I didn't want them to have their tongues down each other's throats…not yet anyways grins like the naughty little devil I am… I hope you all liked this chapter! I know it is kind of short but I wanted it to be based solely around their first kiss.
Remember…there is double chocolate peanut butter fudge for whoever reviews! Thank you so much for all of your compliments….my face is in a permanent smile because of how much I grin when I get one! Love ya! Mandy