Sirius's Pimple Popping Potion

"No," Lily said.

James blinked. "No, you won't go out with me or no, you won't help us get the antidote?"

"No to both!" Lily said, flinging her hands up in exasperation. To my surprise, James's smile slipped. Interesting. In the short time I'd been forced to interact with James, his teasing manner had not dropped once. He was always ready with a quick retort or, failing that, a (supposedly) amusing jinx. Now, he was silent.

"Come on Lily," Sirius said. He'd wedged himself in between Remus and I, presumably to keep us apart. I didn't mind. It gave me the excuse to wrap myself around his wand arm. I wasn't exactly sure how one usually expressed one's love for a tall, beautiful man, but, from the covers of Lucy's romance books, it seemed it ought to involve a lot of physical contact. So, I had maximised the surface area of our contact, intertwining my arms around his robes. His arm emanated solid warmth, and I clung to it stubbornly, ignoring his half-hearted attempts to shake me off.

Sirius gave his arm another shake, and I tightened my grip. He was considerably taller than I, so the top of my head barely reached his shoulder, but that only meant my head had a comfortable resting place against his upper arm. "Merlin, Lily," he said. "Take pity. I can't feel my fingers anymore. Just ask Snape to get the bloody antidote."

Lily sniffed. "Well, as I've been trying to tell you daft idiots, even if I did ask Severus and even if he did agree, how would he be able to get past the girl's stairs?"

"Ha!" I said, triumphant. "She's got you there - guess you can't get the antidote!"

I had no idea why I'd wanted to get the antidote in the first place. Feeling this love - it made me feel less alone. It made me feel like I had a connection with someone that went beyond a business transaction. I didn't want to lose it for anything.

James paused, his mouth widening into his customary grin. "Smart as ever, Lily," he said, and the warmth in his voice would have made me think he'd been splashed with the love potion, too, if I didn't know better.

Lily and James looked at each other longer than was necessary. Ah, love. How wonderful!

Feeling inspired, I attempted to achieve the same degree of eye contact with Sirius, but the man merely reached with his other arm and clapped his hand over my eyes. "Oi!" he said, and I couldn't tell whether the protest was directed at me or at Lames (that sounded odd - I'd have to think of a different couple name.).

"Why don't we just have Thorne get the antidote?" Sirius said. I was pressed so close to him, I could feel his chest vibrate pleasantly with each word. He had a deep, rough voice that I had previously found irritating but now thought was the most wonderful sound in the world. Well, that and Remus's dry remarks.

Speaking of - "Remus, will you marry me?" I shouted.

Sirius let out a half-strangled noise and moved his hand to cover my mouth. "Merlin, woman," he hissed. "We are inches away from main street - people might hear you!"

All the better! The world should rejoice in our love.

"Ye-" Remus called back, but the sound was abruptly cut off. With my eyes now free, I saw as James wrestled Remus to the ground. I hissed. How dare he attack Remus? I shoved my hand into my robe pocket, searching for the vial of stinging potion I always carried after one unpleasant transaction too many.

"Willa obviously is not inclined to get the antidote," Lily said. She drew her wand and, with a few neat flicks, immobilised Remus and I. I scowled, my hand frozen around the vial's smooth exterior.

She surveyed our frozen forms. "This would be made so much simpler if you would just go to Slughorn," she said. "Surely the potions master has a love potion antidote ready made."

"No!" Sirius said hurriedly. "No professors."

She flung her hands in the air. "Well, then what do you suggest we do?"

James and Sirius looked at each other. "Hey, Lily," James began, his voice considerably deeper than it normally was. If I could have moved, I would have rolled my eyes. I didn't understand who these blokes thought they were fooling when they suddenly began speaking several octaves lower than their normal voice. Did they think we just forgot how they actually spoke?

Lily crossed her arms, her green eyes narrowed.

James coughed, and when he spoke again, his voice was back to normal. "Slughorn likes you. You're a potions master!"

"The best in our class!" Sirius chimed in. Perhaps it was a good thing I was immobilised - I might have thrown my potion on the lot of them for that fallacy, love or not. Lily was good, but surely I was better - I had to be. She had magic. I didn't. Potions were the only thing I had, the only thing connecting me to this damned wizarding world. Without it, I was nothing.

"Which means you have more access to Slughorn's stores than the rest of us," James continued.

"Stores which, as you so aptly pointed out before, must contain a love potion antidote."

Sirius and James were completely in sync. It made me think they'd tried convincing Lily into agreeing to other schemes before. The thought made me oddly jealous. It must have been the potion, of course - what did I care if they were close friends? I had no need for friendships. Only productive partnerships. And, now, an intense love affair complete with swashbuckling pirates and disapproving, wealthy aunts and uncles.

Okay, perhaps I, too, read Lucy's romance novels. They were entertaining reads!

Lily looked again at Remus and me. "James," she said finally, and it was almost painful to see how much the bloke lit up at the sound of his name. "You, the Head Boy, are asking me, the Head Girl, to break into a Professor's private supply closet and steal one of his potions."

James beamed. "Yeah, sounds about right."

Lily sighed, saying, "Alright. I'll be back soon. Don't move."

If I had control of my mouth, I'd reply with an "obviously."

Lily turned on her heel, her red curls swinging in a gleaming wave across her robes, and left the small alleyway at the outer edge of Hogsmeade. Students normally used this dark, secluded alleyway to snog or conduct somewhat illicit transactions. I hoped we'd still be able to do the former before Lily ruined all the fun.

Sirius disentangled himself from my arm and, walking over to James, turned to survey us. "You have to admire J. Pippin's Potions. That love potion is strong."

James glanced at him. "Why aren't you affected, mate?"

Sirius blinked. He looked so stunning when he was confused. Or angry. Or happy. Or any emotion. It was honestly unfair how attractive he was. His beauty had never affected me before, and I wanted to shake my past self for being so oblivious to it. Perhaps I ought to dedicate my next line of pimple reduction potions to his wonderful, clear skin! That was romantic, right?

"I guess the potion didn't really get on me," he said finally. "Remus was standing in between Stone and I, so he took most of it."

This was true, but I'd seen the potion get on his robes. Even a little should have been enough to inspire some affection. I wanted to sob at Sirius's bemused detachment. Why couldn't he love me back? Okay, so I wasn't the tallest or prettiest or most talented of girls. I looked like someone had kicked me in the face in every photograph, and I was prickly and normally avoided all physical contact. I had a nasty temper and had a bad habit of tearing down everyone around me.

Oh. Perhaps that was why.

If I had had control over my body, I was sure I would be full on sobbing, snot everywhere. Perhaps it was a good thing that Lily had immobilised me.

Before I could decide whether I was angry or not at Lily, I heard hushed giggles coming from the entrance to the alleyway.

James cursed, casting Sirius a panicked look. "We can't have witnesses. Do you know how odd this looks?"

He gestured helplessly at Remus, who was frozen mid-shout, and at me, who still had my arm uncomfortably twisted around a non-existent body.

"It looks like we're running a bloody cult," Sirius groaned. He looked around wildly. Fortunately, the alley was relatively shaded, so the newcomers - a girl and a boy, from the sounds of it - hadn't seen us yet. Plus, from the enthusiastic noises, they were a tad preoccupied. I estimated they had five seconds before stumbling upon us.

The alley was a dead end, which ruled out escaping through the other end. I doubted Sirius and James could lift our dead weight and run, anyway.

James's eyes landed on me. "Right, you need to say the alley is occupied," he said.

"Well, obviously it's occupied, mate," Sirius said, still looking wildly around for an escape route.

"No," James said, wrenching Sirius towards him. "You need to say it's occupied."

Even I caught the double meaning of his words. He wanted Sirius to snog one of us! tried to make my frozen eyes look perkier, hoping he'd pick me - or Remus. Or both!

Sirius cursed. "Why can't you do this?"

"You know I'm trying to cut down on the rumours, Sirius! I need to be available for Lily."

"But she knows the situation - she'll unders-"

"We don't have time to argue! Thanks, mate!" James said hurriedly and, before Sirius could react, seized Remus's frozen form and dragged him into the shadowed end of the alleyway.

Sirius cast a panicked look at me and, cursing again, flung his arm around my stiff shoulders. He unfroze me just as the students collided against us.

"Oi!" said the boy, a rather burly looking Hufflepuff. "Watch yourselves!"

"Find somewhere else," Sirius said. His hand was tight around my shoulder, but his manner was otherwise relaxed. "This spot is taken."

I beamed, nestling closer to his warmth. If only this were real. Perhaps I ought to kiss him just to solidify the effect. His lips looked so soft. I wanted to put my hand against his cheek.

"Sorry, I didn't realise this alley was occupied," the girl said, squinting at us through the darkness. I vaguely recognised her as a Gryffindor in the year below us. I'd seen her tagging along at the back end of Meredith Thomas's group. She had the misfortune of not being funny, pretty, or wealthy enough, to be one of the Thomas's accepted few, but that didn't stop her from trying.

She stepped forward, and I felt Sirius tense. There wasn't much room between us and the end of the alley - only a scant few feet, at most. If the entering couple looked beyond us, they'd find James hunched over Remus's frozen body, and Merlin knew how that would look.

"Well, it is," he said roughly. "So leave."

"Black? That you?" the boy said.

Sirius paused. "Yes, Smith, great to see you. How's your family? Really, do you think this is the time to catch up?"

The boy - Smith - stepped back, moving to pull his girlfriend away. "Sorry, mate." he said. "Er - see you around."

"Wait!" the girl said, shoving him off. "Sirius Black?" she craned her neck, stepping closer. Sirius shifted so that he covered most of me with his robes, which were still gritty from the pearl dust.

"Who are you with?" the girl demanded.

"None of your bloody business!" Sirius roared. Well, he had officially lost it. I still loved him, of course.

The girl let out a muffled shriek of surprise.

"Come on, Genevieve. We can go behind the quill shop," Smith muttered, trying again to pull the Gryffindor away.

Genevieve, true to her House's values, was not cowed for long. She stepped forward, wrenching away Sirius's surprised hand, and said, "Lumos."

I blinked from the sudden light, shying away from her wand as she thrust it far too close to my face. "You're not -" she breathed. "Willa Thorne!"

Sirius recovered faster than I did. He smacked away her wand, leaving me blinded from the sudden darkness, and all but shoved the duo away.

"Smith, take your girlfriend and bloody leave," he hissed. "We're busy here."

He patted my shoulder for effect. The motion was a bit too rough to be romantic, but they didn't seem to notice.

When Smith and Genevieve had left, Sirius let out a long, rattling groan.

Someone - James - began clapping from behind us. "Brilliant, Padfoot," he said. "Really, I think you have a future as an actor. Can I be the first to have your autograph?"

"Sod off, Potter," Sirius muttered. "That girl is from Gryffindor. She's one of Meredith's crew."

James scoffed. "What, the sixth year? So?"

"So, Meredith Thomas is a gossip. All of Hogwarts will know of our love," I said, looking up at Sirius dreamily. Then, turning to James, I added, "Don't be daft."

James let out a snort. "Prickly even when in love, Thorne?"

That was the last straw - how dare he belittle my love! I seized the prickling potion from my pocket and raised my arm, preparing to fling it directly into his face -

"Petrificus totalus!"

Bullocks.

Lily came up to us, slipping her wand back into her trouser pocket. She strode up to my (again) frozen form and peering at the vial, tugged it gently from my clenched hand. Double bullocks. Some rational part of me began to panic. The vial was unlabeled, thank Merlin, but if she investigated it too closely, she might realise that it wasn't a standard stinging potion and certainly nothing one could purchase commercially. I tried to move my eyes to follow what she did with the vial but, of course, the stupid hex had rendered me immobile.

"I have the antidote," she said, and Sirius let out a relieved cheer.

"Brilliant as always, Lily," James said. Lily, to my surprise, accepted the compliment - or, at least, she didn't loudly reject it as she normally did. James took the antidote and uncorked it.

"Ergh," he said, wrinkling his nose. "Smells bloody awful."

He went to Remus and poured some into his mouth, unfreezing him so that he could swallow. Then, he went to me. Oh, how I wished I could fight him off. I might not have my stinging potion anymore, but I could always punch him. That was always an option. Or a well-placed kick -

The potion tasted as awful as it smelled.

James stepped back. "How long until the antidote works?"

"A few minutes at most. Aren't you going to give some to Black?"

"Do I look like a love-lost fool, Evans?" Sirius said.

"Well, you always look like a fool, Black, so it's a bit hard to differentiate, now."

Black scowled. "I'm fine. The potion didn't get on me enough to have an effect."

Before Lily could protest, he added, "Now, can we get out of this bloody alley?"

Lupin groaned, clutching at his stomach. "I feel like I'm about to puke."

"Welcome back, Romeo," Potter said cheerfully.

Black shifted restlessly. "Can we go? I don't want Genevieve to bring her friends here to look at us."

"Fine, fine," Potter said. He and Lily began walking off, following Black as he sped walked out of the alley.

This, of course, meant that I was still in the alley. Frozen. Forgotten.

Oh, how I hated them for forgetting me - how I hated myself, for getting into this situation. The antidote was working slowly, but each new memory, each new awareness of what I had done, what I had said, was excruciating.

Moving to Australia was seeming more and more appealing. Or America. Or Antarctica. Anywhere but here.

Lupin tapped his wand against my arm, unfreezing me. He couldn't quite meet my eyes, which was fine, because I bloody well was not going to be looking at him for the next few lifetimes. At least.

"Er - okay," he said. He waited long enough to make sure I could move before hurrying away. I didn't blame him. I was sure my face was ten shades past crimson at this point. I didn't know if I could ever live this down.

I looked up at the thin sliver of blue visible between the narrow brick walls and, squeezing my eyes shut, shouted every obscenity I knew.

Author note: hello! it's been far too long (lots of real life changes). i'm determined to finish this story - thank you all so much for your patience and for your kind words. Your reviews seriously make my day :) All reviewers will receive a teaser of the next chapter