Summary: Whoever had gotten Cordelia drunk was now officially on Xander's list. C/X
Disclaimer: "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" and all associated characters and situations are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.
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"All The Pretty Girls"
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'
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Xander Harris had a list of things he hated and believed should be destroyed. Vampires easily topped that list, ever since the death of his childhood friend Jesse, but there was still plenty of room for living, breathing types on it; like whoever snuck alcohol into this party. They might not have been 'end of the world' evil, but they were definitely evil. Whichever one of Cordelia Chase's 'friends' convinced her to drink it once they discovered it was at the party was also on there as soon as he found out whose name needed to be added, and Hellmouth help them if they turned out to be the same person.
Not that there wasn't a good chance that they weren't already on his list for other reasons, but this would definitely kick them higher up the thing. Probably to the first position with a pulse, even beating out the School Troll. He'd have to remember to send Snyder a 'congratulations' card, maybe something with 'wish you were here' and a picture of a tombstone, just for kicks. That would have to come later, though; right now he was more concerned with keeping Cordelia from doing something she'd regret when she was sober again - something she'd probably make him regret too, for that matter. He'd never wanted to learn that a drunk Cordelia was a handsy Cordelia.
Xander was doing his best not to let the thought that, had he still been alive, Jesse would have given both of their science-fiction collections to be in Xander's current situation. He probably wouldn't care about his impending doom come sobriety, either. The other man would have considered it a fair price to pay, dying immolated in the fires of Cordelia's fury. It was one of the things that, God forbid and may Willow never find out, Xander loved about Cordelia; she had enough spirit and fire for five 'normal' girls. Unfortunately, she used that particular fire like it was a flamethrower most of the time, which did take something away from how attractive it was. Way too much of the time, Xander himself was one of the ones that ended up getting burned. At the moment, in the present situation, he was suddenly feeling very sympathetic to moths.
That and developing a severe dislike for octopi. There must have somehow been one hidden in the Chase family tree somewhere, because it honestly felt like Cordelia had at least eight hands instead of the normal two and she was trying to put them on him; all over him. Since despite his time on the swim team and the fate of his teammates of then he still came equipped with only the human two standard hands, that left him having a strong amount of trouble keeping the brunette's hands to herself.
"I think all of the whiskey's went to your head," Xander tried to talk her down.
Unfortunately for him, Cordelia had her own plans and they didn't involve being talked down. Instead, she grabbed him by the collar and pulled herself closer to him.
"Shut up and kiss me," the pretty girl said.
After her next action, the next thoughts that were able to properly form in Xander's head came a few moments later and had to do with the location of Cordelia's lips in the intervening time; to wit, pressed against his own. Ironically enough, the thoughts that did form were that maybe the person who had gotten Cordelia drunk could go a few places lower on his list than he had originally decided to put them.