CHAPTER 35 Holding On

He exhales slowly from his breath, rubbing his hands uncomfortably to ease himself. He stood outside Luna's room, tired of pacing back and forth so he just sitted down the plastic chair; he wishes he didn't believed his mother by agreeing that the seat could help. The area wasn't good to any of them. In the inside, he was glad that his mother cares, but what would happen after- after something drastic would happen to the baby? Would Luna be okay? Would he be okay?. What about the baby? Would they feel alright if they found out- fuck. Stop it.

"Is she the one you've always been talking about?" Narcissa asked with her eyes staring concerned to Luna's room. Somehow, if it was just an ordinary love story filled with fluff, this is the part where everything was alright, but it is not. This the the reality of a Malfoy. In truth, nothing is good about their last name. All of the money isn't going to help him smile everyday, all of the reputation isn't going to make him feel good about himself; in truth, he found out that only love- no matter how sappy it is- is the only thing that everybody needed. Everybody kills for it and now, Luna gives him so much more. So much more than he ever bargain for. And so he rubs his eyes to his palms, trying to stop his frustration as his mother's question reminds him yet again, the girl inside the four white walls infront of them. "Yes" he nodded with difficulty.

How long has it been? he asks himself. In reality, it was only for thirty minutes, but for him it was as if it was for two days. Hospitals were an alright place to him, but today, they may not. He feels so suffocated with everything: the way the white covers almost everything, the way the water bubbles up whenever someone may take a drink, the way his vacant stare matches everybody else- everything, even on how everybody breathes the same frustrating air that he has.

"What are you doing?" He stood up as he heard his father's annoyed voice coming to where they are. He rolled his eyes as he prepares himself of about possible scenerios that can happen. He was so sure that it was all about Luna, or the baby, and things wouldn't be so easy. Well, nothing is easy with his beloved father. He didn't respond. He knows that if he would even open his mouth, all hell would break loose. Somehow, somewhere inside the pit and corner of his own heart,he feels as if he misses his father. But how can he? There is nothing to cherish about.

There was a pregnant pause for the three of them. As if controlled by trance, the three Malfoy's locked their eyes towards the transparent glass, watching as the Healer perform their checkings to Luna's body. He wasn't sure what to expect, the future lies behind those glass that he can't seem to break. He wishes that he was the one laying inside the cot, not Luna. He wishes that he was the one who is in this case, not Luna and not their child.

A few minutes have passed, then finally, the healer turned to walk pass through the door; upon where he would meet the Malfoy's. The healer, with all of his equipments and wand, stood straight infront of them as he was about to break the news. His arms wrapped dramatically on his chest, as if he was in bussiness and serious. Seeing that the Healer is prepared to say something to them, they stood with their head held high; it was something they're meant to do, although Draco wasn't sure why, seeing that it's not the right time to act so royally.

But then, the real thing to think about was their situation. Whether it was a good or a bad thing, Draco wasn't prepared. Somehow, he wishes that he could close his ears from what is going to be revealed next.

"The girl had suffered from a very risky accident-" the healer's voice was serious, making Draco gulp down to his throat. Preparing himself for the worst. She couldn't die. I can't- His mother grabbed his hand to hers, squeezing him gently for support, and he squeezes back, not bothering to look at his mother's teary eyes. He stares straight, not bothering to move his eyes; if he would, he was afraid that he would break down. The healer looked at him, and slowly, his lips formed into a smile of relief "-luckily, both of them seem to be so determined to live"

Determined to live

live

still alive

He finally puts all of the pieces together. As if the world had changed, by that second, he doesn't care about anything at all. The thought of him knowing that she could still spend their days together is a delightful thing to look forward too. "What happened to her then?" Draco smiled wide enough that it almost shined the whole area.

"Commonly, in the second half of pregnancy, there are changes in the cervix due to the pregnancy – which cause the delicate glandular cells to grow on the surface of the cervix and break off." the healer replied, his expression was a mixture of polite happiness and in disbelief, as if his knowledge was the most common thing in the world. "-And the baby is indeed a Malfoy sir" He added after he felt that the Malfoy's had already adjusted with the good news. Draco furrowed his eyebrows in confussion; not sure of what or as to why the healer even bother-

"You're doubting Luna?" Draco said with his eyes wide as the pair stared disbelievingly to his father.

"Why? You honestly think that that young girl's hormones would only open her legs just for you?-" Lucius said with his tone that made Draco feel like he was talking to someone much worse than Ronald Weasley. He clenches his fists along with his jaw. Narcissa had sensed the sudden change of Draco's posture. Even if she was Lucius's wife, she felt that he had crossed a big step of Draco's patience.

"You don't know her. Luna is far from those witches that you recommend me to. If I recall, even in the first meeting, they had already opened their legs to me. And for what? For the looks? the money? the reputation? Fuck that father! Fuck that reputation! And most importantly fuck you!-" he shouted, actually glad to express his anger that he kept for far too long.

"Do you honestly think that I would let you have that- thing?" Lucius asked, talking about the child that he already loved. Narcissa gasped in shock at her husband's words. Instead of holding Draco back down, she would admit that her husband is being a prick and he needed to listen to Draco's walls that were breaking down.

Draco took a step to his father, inching his face closer to the man infront of him with clenched teeth. "-All my life, I waited for you to accept me. Those time spent just to gain for your approval. That seventeen years in hell was too much to bare, father. I grew up hoping that you would be proud of me, but instead, you never did.-" He stared right into the irises of his father. Those raw emotions that he had kept hidden blurted and splashed to that three lines."-and if you think that my child would going to be another disappointment to you, I think it's the best if you stay out of my fuckin' way because I would try my hardest not to be like you"

He held her hand in his. Stroking her skin that was only him to kiss alone. "You look beautiful as ever, love" as he stared right to her eyes, nothing seems too impossible. Luna, his sweet sunflower Luna, was the source of light and hope. And the thought of her disappearing was too much for him. Even if he was living inside his life called hell, losing Luna would make him feel like he was actually cursed.

Slowly, as the sun passes through the sliding window of Luna's hospital room, her ocean colored eyes opens half-lidded. He didn't blink, he was too surprised in the insides to notice. As if somebody whom he loves was risen from death, that is how he was feeling.

Luna gasped, automatically rising from her cot as her hands wrapped themselves to her tummy. Slowly, without realizing that Draco was even there, weak tears came crawling down her face. She was believing the thought that her child was gone. And the thought made her heart break into to all over again.

"Draco?" she gasps again in shock, then everything that had happened traveled again to her memory. Soon, she found herself at the headboard of her cot, wrapping her face to her arms, whispering sorry all over again to him. Immediately, Draco jumped inside next to her, wrapping his arms as Luna buried her face to his chest.

"Why didn't you told me?" Draco asked with his voice sad and soft.

"I don't want to become a burden" she whispered, her arms squeezing him as if she doesn't want him to let go.

"You would never become a burden to me, never. we would raise this child and keep them alive alright?" he removes her arms from him, smiling as he revealed his surprise to her. At first, Luna only stared at him, shocked and trying process what he was talking about.

"Our baby-" she rested her hand to her tummy. Now, she can finally breathe as if there wasn't any harm outside the room. Her baby was alright. The baby would live. If their baby survived those last five months, surely they can do it.

She smiled widely and pulled Draco's head by the sides of his jaw. He was taken aback by her sudden move but he quickly recovered and wrapped his hands to the sides of her tummy. Her lips was still as soft as how he can remember it. She was still perfectly fit to his and he knows that the spark would forever be with them. "I love you so much, Draco" she whispers to his lips when she pulled away, and he nodded in response "I love you too"

She placed her head to rest against his shoulder. Happy and relaxed for after six months of mourning. Slowly, she felt something inside her again. "Draco" she called him, claiming his hand in hers. "Hum?" he responded to her, blinking as he wasn't sure when did the scene turned their events. In return, Luna giggled and placed his hand to her tummy. For a few seconds, Draco just furrowed his eyebrows at her, trying to read her mind. But then, slowly, he felt something against her skin. "Woah" he whispered. Breathless as he felt their baby moving around her, letting them know that they're alive and showing off that they survived. "Hi there mini Draco and Luna, I'm you're daddy" he leaned closer to her tummy, closing his eyes as a goofy grin was formed to his face.

Luna feels the need to have a picture or even paint this moment. This is the first time their family would have their time together. It feels so special that she can't even think about anything other than Draco's grin and her baby being alive and healthy. "If sex could lead us to this, can we do it again someday?" Draco mindlessly joked, raising his head to Luna as he circles his hands to her tummy. Luna rolled her eyes and blushes in response, bewildered with herself that she thought that he was proposing to her.

Please read me: I would be busy next week because of our exams and christmas party, but don't worry guys. I wouldn't give up on this! Especially when the baby's safe :).

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