Short one, I know, but blame breaking bad...forgive me as I am trying to weave multiple layers of drama here, why? because why not, bolo love in my eyes excels and gets good when there is drama. I am working on strangers, its taking longer as I try to figure out what I am going to do next with the family. so in the meantime, enjoy this nonsense... :)

Lauren was leaning against the bookcase closest to the door, she was dressed down and had a half smile on her face. I shifted in my chair so I could look at her without twisting too far; I glanced at her before saying "I didn't expect you to come."

Lauren's smile faded slightly, "I finished up earlier than I expected." her voice was soft. She moved to sit on the leather couch next to the desk I was sitting at, but paused before she sat, Lauren reached over and put a hand over mine, "how are you feeling today?"

"You know, every time you ask me that, it sounds extremely doctorly? And not all personal?" I glanced at her, keeping an even tone to hide that I was more upset than I wanted to admit at her disappearance over the last little while.

Lauren kept a tight smile, "it is an old habit." she looked me in the eyes, "it doesn't mean that I don't actually want to know."

I tapped the pen on the desk top, pulling my hand away from hers, "I feel the same as I have for the last few days, better but tired." I leaned back in the chair. Lauren nodded lightly, "As long as you are feeling better, Grace has told me that you are sleeping longer at night, and the dreams are lessening?"

I stared at her for a moment, "Do I scare you." I asked flatly, I had to know. "My bad nights, the memories I have." I looked at her golden brown eyes, searching.

She looked down, "Bo, you don't need to ask me that." her voice was quiet.

I set the pen down, "I do. You ran out of here the night after I fell apart, then you have slowly began to fade away from me." I folded my arms, "I cannot deny that I have some sort of feelings for you, and that it hurt when you took a step back. I know that I am still healing, physically and emotionally, I know it will take time, but I can't figure you out Dr. Lewis."

Lauren looked up at the old ceiling in the library, "That is not the first time I have heard that." it came out softly, as she looked at me, "I have walls up, that I don't know how to break down myself. And yet, you blow into my life and seem to know how to permeate all of the small cracks I have. It scares me, and to answer your question, yes, you do scare me." she walked over to the desk closer, "but not because of the nightmares you endure, the lingering pain you carry that I wish I could take from you, or your secret life as a heiress." she sat on the edge of the desk, "you scare me because you make me feel something I cannot control."

I held her gaze, "we all have walls and secrets, Lauren, you just happen to know more of mine." I sighed, and looked back at my scribble. I had heard her words, they went straight to my heart, but at the same time it felt like she was trying to excuse her distance, "the hardest part is letting someone in to see the walls and the secrets and let them decide if they are strong enough to break through it all."

"I was twenty one, when the first wall went up." Lauren started speaking, she was looking at the massive bookshelves around her, "It was at school, my first year at Cambridge, my first love. Frankie was a second year medical school student and we met in a lab group, and fell for each other fast. She was an avid cyclist, everywhere she went she rode that damn bike. I tried warning her that the drivers in the city would not be as careful as she hoped." she laughed lightly and looked at me, "You remind me a little of her, in your cavalier attitude." she took a deep breath, "one Saturday afternoon she was meeting me at my dorm room and I watched as careless teen driver cut into her path, hitting her while she rode her bike." Lauren stopped completely.

I spoke quietly, "that night in the emergency room, the cyclist."

She nodded, "Reminded me too much of Frankie and how she also died in my hands as I tried so desperately to save her with the little amount of knowledge I had. Over the years I built upon that first wall, dating and engaging in simple relationships to pass the time or keep the aggressive fresh faced doctors from hitting on me." Lauren stood up from the edge of the desk, "Then you came out onto the fire escape, seeing me in one of my weakest moments, and a old familiar feeling came creeping in my heart, but stronger."

I stood up and walked over to her, my hand on her arm, "feel the good things, it will force the bad things out." I smiled lightly as I dished out Kenzi's words of wisdom, "Lauren, I like you. You are the first good thing I have felt in a long time and I want to hold onto it as long as I can, regardless of what happens next."

Lauren turned to me, her eyes were glassy as her hand covered mine, "Bo, I..."

Before she could finish the library door opened, my eyes drifted towards the door. A strong deep voice came into the room before the owner, "Holy shit, if I live and breath, the one and only English Bo! Alive and looking oh so amazing!"

Lauren and I both stared at the tall, brown haired, blue eyed, handsome man who limped into the library and scooped me up into a massive bear hug, and a quick closed mouth kiss on the lips, forcing Lauren to take a step back. I was in shock as I wrapped my arms around the man, holding back tears. When he set me down I held his face in both of my hands, "Aaron?"

His eyes closed as he smiled and nodded, "Nothing, not even death could keep me from you, English Bo. " he opened them and looked around at Lauren, then at me, "oh I am sorry, your Aunt told me that it was okay to come back here, I didn't interrupt anything?"

I was still mesmerized by the man standing in front of me that I did not notice the look in Laurens eyes as she straightened her jacket, threw on a tight smile, "Oh no, no, I was about to leave. I am her co-worker." she rushed out of the library as I felt tears coming.

I stepped back from Aaron. "I thought you died, no one could tell me what happened after the accident."

Aaron took one of my hands in his, squeezing it gently, "That is my father for you, he already didn't want anyone to know I was in the war let alone wounded." he smiled his wide bright grin.

Ensign Aaron Williams stood before me, very much alive and very much in my arms. He was Admiral Williams youngest son and the only one who did not desire to follow in his father footsteps and take a safe rear career to higher rank. Aaron had joined up straight out of college and ended up in my unit. No one paid him much attention, mainly his last name, it was a war zone. There was too much to do to wonder if he was linked to the Admiral. He was part of the transport team that was assigned to my trauma unit, he had told me once or twice that he did have interest down the road in pursuing medicine, but had to follow the family military footsteps. There was something about Aaron that intrigued me, aside from his incessant desire to learn as much as he could from me, spending a lot of time with me in and out of truamas, he never once hit on me or asked inappropriate things, like so many of the soldiers I worked with and saw on a daily basis. We would spend nights talking about home, college days, what the first thing we would eat when we got back home, he became my closest friend in the unit and I grew attached to him like a little brother. I eventually told him what had happened in New York with Dyson and he told me some of his own secrets. He filled the gap of the people and family I had abandoned.

Then one night, six months into his tour, an emergency roadside call came in. It was in the middle of the night, I took it since I was still up checking on the last round of patients to have come in. Aaron ran into the ward, "English, we gotta go. Six miles up, convoy attack. They have no medic with them and two of the guys are critical." Aaron was grabbing the medical bags, I tossed my charts to the desk and ran after him as he ran to the Humvee that was already running. As I went to climb in he handed me a flak vest, I pushed his hand away, "When we get there, you know how they make me feel claustrophobic." Aaron gave me a hard look, "At least wear the helmet and hold this in front of you." he shoved the vest into my chest. The Humvee began rolling as soon as Aaron closed the door. We sat in a loud silence as we raced to the scene, I was sorting through the bag making sure I had everything I needed. As I looked up at Aaron and saw him smile at me as he always did right before we went to work, all of the sound fell out of the Humvee and I was thrown to the roof of the Humvee.

After the Humvee settled from rolling, I found myself on the roof of the Humvee, bleeding from my head and there was the strange burning sensation all over my stomach. I tried to grasp onto what had happened as I pushed myself over and looked out the crushed window. The front end of the Humvee was on fire and the driver was dead. I crawled out of the window, knowing I had to get away from the fire. I was dazed and things were blurry as I felt the sand under my hands. I pulled myself out of the metal shell of the vehicle and looked back, there was a large crater where the bomb had been, it had sent the vehicle close to twenty feet away from the point of impact. I ran a hand over my stomach and felt the warm stickiness of blood. I pulled my shirt up, when I heard a moan.

I looked to the rear of the Humvee and saw Aaron lying there, caught under the edge of the rear. I scrambled to my feet and ran to him. He was bleeding from too many places as I fell to my knees next to him, I began working on the large laceration on his leg, he whispered as he looked at the blood on the front of my shirt, "Should have actually put the damn thing on, English."

I shrugged as I tried to make a tourniquet, "Should have, but didn't. Where else are you hurt?"

Aaron looked down at his leg, "i really can't feel anything, Bo." I began to panic, working faster as I saw him pale a little at the blood lost. I looked up in his bright blue eyes, and smiled, "i will get you out of here, I promise."

he smiled, "Bo, you know you are my best friend here, right? I think you are an amazing lady." he swallowed hard, I put a hand against his neck, feeling his pulse was fading. I whispered, "I know, you are mine, Aaron. You are the only guy here that hasn't hit on me and it means the world to me." I smiled as I moved my hand up to his cheek, watching a slight smile etch its way across his face, "Save your energy, I can hear the others coming." I looked up at the slightly distant roar of another run of Humvees coming for us, the blast was loud enough and large enough, that I knew the others would be coming. I smiled as I saw headlights, "Here they come." I looked down at Aaron and saw he was lifeless, his pulse had ceased. I shook him, nothing, I leaned close and heard nothing. "Aaron, god dammit." I began CPR on him as the trucks closed in on us, I was pumping his chest and as a young faced medic ran to me, I waved him off. I pumped for Aaron until we got him loaded up, he came back to life just as we pulled into the unit helipad, gasping for air and coughing. I was gently pulled away as he was loaded up and taken to the waiting helicopter with one of our best trauma surgeons.

The next morning, I heard nothing about Aaron as I laid in my own hospital bed, allowing one of the doctors to clean out my wound. I heard soft bootsteps come into the room, a strong male voice asking where I was. I was half awake and half asleep with my arm covering my face, I only looked down when I felt the doctor stop working on me and heard him stand up. He was standing at attention as an older man in crisp fatigues came into the curtained area. He looked exactly like Aaron, but older and with salt and pepper hair. He saluted the doctor, "Young man continue working on this fine woman." the man smiled and came closer to me, that is when I noticed the stars on his collar, "Lieutenant Ysabeau Dennis, it is an honor to meet you, I am Admiral Williams."

I stared at him, "Sorry if I don't salute, but as you can see." I nodded to the doctor who was pulling out more shrapnel. The older man smiled and nodded, "it is perfectly forgiven." he pulled up a chair and sat down, holding his hat in his hands I could see his nerves, "i am here to thank you, Lt. For saving Ensign Williams yesterday."

I bit my bottom lip, "How is he? No one will tell me anything." I didn't care that the admiral in charge of naval operations was sitting across from me, the boss of all bosses, I was worried about Aaron

The older man nodded, "That is partly my fault." he looked at me with gentle eyes, "Aaron is my son, and I want to keep things quiet until he is stabilized and better."

I blinked, staring at the Admiral, "Your son?" I was shocked and confused, Aaron showed no signs of coming from such a prestigious family, he was just a goofy, kind-hearted and intelligent kid that followed me around like a little brother.

The Admiral nodded, "Yes, and I owe you more than I can ever repay for saving his life."

The Admiral meant what he said, he was the reason I was back home and everything that came with it. He promised me a lifetime of favors if I ever should need them.

I stared at Aaron as he moved in front of me and sat down on the large leather couch, his left leg jutting out at a weird angle, "The boys were all jealous that I you did CPR on me, that I was the lucky bastard who got to kiss you." he laughed lightly, "if they only knew you are definitely not my type."

I smiled sheepishly as I leaned against the edge of my desk, "They never said anything to me. No one actually ever found out that you were the Admirals son, I went back to work and I could never get anyone to tell me anything about you." I looked at him, tears setting on the edges of my eyes, "I honestly thought you had died."

Aaron nodded, "That was partly my fault, Bo. I tried to write you a letter when I finally woke up in Germany, but my fathers people thought it best that we keep things quiet." he held up his hand, "Politics."

I walked over and sat on the table in front of him, "How did you find me?"

He smiled wide, "As an Admirals son, I can find anyone. Especially the woman I owe my life too."

I looked down at his leg, he caught my glance, "it's still mine, but it ended my navy career." he sighed, "I am in England on a teaching conference for Columbia, I figured I would look up my lady."

I stood up suddenly and hugged him, catching him by surprise, "I am so happy you are here, Aaron, alive."

"so am I Bo." as I pulled back he looked at me, "That very attractive woman that was in here, you two appeared to be having a bit of an intense conversation, that I am pretty certain was not work related." he squinted at me.

I closed my eyes, "oh shit. Lauren." I instantly knew why she had left in a hurry when Aaron burst into the library. I leaned forward holding my head in my hands, "i need to call her, she probably thinks you are my long-lost boyfriend."

Aaron smiled and shook my arm, "If she only knew, but she did have a wide-eyed what the fuck look on her face when she ran out of here like her ass was on fire." he looked at me as I sighed, "Is she your? I mean she is gorgeous." he drifted off, not knowing exactly what to say.

"We were figuring that out when you walked in out of the blue." I met his blue eyes, "I think I am falling in love with her." Aaron grabbed my hand, "and by the way she looked at me, I think there's a good chance she has already fallen for you."

I tried to call Lauren as soon as I realized what she could be thinking about the handsome man who scooped me up and kissed me, I even called her. I got nothing in return. Aaron and I spent the day together, catching up. He had been discharged from the Navy, his leg injury would never allow him to do much outside of walking and maybe jogging. He became a military history professor and with his fathers push, was able to work at Columbia University teaching young eager minds. He was healthy and I would often find myself staring at him, I had honestly thought he had died. He would smile and wink at me, "I am not going anywhere, Bo, I can guarantee that."

When he left me later on that night, we promised to keep in touch and that when I was out of the Navy I would come to the states and have a proper visit with him and his family. I hugged him harder than ever and his parting words to me was, "Whoever that woman is too you, go get her. It was the only time I ever saw your eyes light up when you looked at someone." he kissed me on the cheek, "if you want I will call her and tell her I am no threat at all to her." he winked at me as I playfully poked him.

"i think that would make it worse. I just have to corner her, fight it out with her. She is so stubborn."

he smiled, "Just like you, Bo. Perfect match." He left me with another hug.

I walked back to my room, checking my phone for the millionth time to see if there was anything from Lauren, nothing. I walked over to my closet and dug out my backpack from the desert, I dug around and found the plastic bag of photographs. I dumped them out and pulled out the ones of Aaron and I. I smiled as I found an overwhelming sense of peace that he was alive. I set the photograph on my desk. I dug around and pulled out the lumpy envelope and dumped out the letter from Admiral Williams and the worn, insignificant decoration he gave me. I sighed and set it in front of the photograph and crawled into bed, hoping that after seeing one of my ghosts alive, would chase away the dreams of the others.

The next morning I woke up, checked my phone and saw there was still nothing. I dressed and had breakfast with Grace where I told her about Aaron and finally the story of how I was injured and how it came to be that I was able to come home. She sat silently, wiping away at tears. I had never told her what happened, I stood up and hugged her, "I didn't want you to worry, Grace."

She smiled and patted my arm, "i worried about you every minute of everyday you were gone."

I went to work, feeling lighter, shedding some of the secrets I held so close to my heart for so long was liberating. I walked into the hospital, wanting to find Lauren immediately and shed more of the weight I was carrying. I went to my office and dropped off my bag, quickly heading to Laurens office.

I smiled as I saw Leeds tapping away at her computer, "Leeds is the doctor in?"

Leeds smiled at the silly joke, "No she isn't, Lt. She is with Colonel Windsor." she reached for a small file, and handed it over to me, "They are waiting for you." I looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, she smiled, "You never checked your email before you left did you?"

I shook my head like a little kid caught for not doing their homework. Leeds stood up, "Follow me." She hustled out of the office with me close behind, "You and Commander Lewis are scheduled to have a meeting with Colonel Windsor in a half hour, it is in regards to sending the two of you to New York for a medical conference on combat medicine." she motioned to the file in my hand, "You are attending as the hospitals liaison for combat medicine and Commander Lewis is there as an administrative capacity."

I frowned as I looked over the boring conference memo, "Why me?"

Leeds smiled, "That is up to you to ask the Colonel." she stopped in front of a door and opened it, revealing Colonel Windsor sitting at his large mahogany desk, Lauren was sitting across from him. Looking perfectly pristine in her uniform she gave me a cold look as I walked in. Colonel Windsor waved off my salute even before I gave it, "Have a seat, my dear." he nodded to Leeds who took her exit as soon as she opened the door.

I looked at Lauren and saw that she was staring straight ahead, doing her best to stay emotionless as the Colonel began to speak. "Ladies, as I am sure you are already aware of things from the memo, I wanted to sit you both down and go over the finite details of this field trip."

I pulled my eyes to look at the older man, "Petty Officer Leeds was filling me in, I apologize I forgot to read up on it, I had a busy weekend."

I heard Lauren blow out a small irritated laugh, I looked over at her quickly and saw her smile at the Colonel as she clenched her jaw. I looked back at the Colonel, "Why are you sending me?"

The Colonel smiled, "Why not you Lieutenant Dennis? You have proven to be one of our best teaching doctors in the field of combat medicine and you have fresh eyes on what is going on over there and what will be best for current and future students." he smiled as he leaned back in his chair, "The two of you are my best Doctors on both sides of the line. I want the two of you to work together after this conference on restructuring our first year program."

I swallowed hard, "where is the conference again?"

He flipped through his own stack of papers, "let's see, ah, here we are." he held up the paper and read it "New York City, the conference is being held at NYU in accordance with Harvard medical school." he set down the paper and smiled, "Represent us well ladies, as I know you will."

I swallowed even harder, New York City. The one place I had no intentions of returning to, especially after the letter from Dyson fell across my desk. I nodded and said nothing, my head was swimming and the heavy feeling around my heart began to grow. It was a big city, the chances of him still being there or even if he was, the two of us coming across each other, was immense.

Lauren nodded, "Of course, Colonel." she stood up and glared hard at me, her eyes full of sadness and what I was sure was a hidden anger. "Thank you for this opportunity, sir."

The Colonel smiled, "Of course, Commander." he reached over and handed both of us large manila envelopes, "here are your travel arrangements, you leave in two days." I took the envelope and stood up, Lauren and I were waved out of the office by a smiling Colonel.

Lauren left with the office in quick steps, I had to jog to catch up to her, whispering, "Can I talk to you?" I didn't want to speak to loudly, there were too many people milling about in and out of offices.

Lauren stayed her course, "Bo, I am very busy today. Whatever you have to say, unless it is work related, will have to wait."

I rolled my eyes as the walls of ice were in full force, "Please, just will you hear me out."

Lauren shook her head, her back still to me, "I think I heard and saw enough."

I groaned in frustration as she began to pick up her pace, I reached out to grab her arm gently, "Lauren, please."

She stopped and looked at me, her jaw was clenched. I looked at her and stepped closer, "What you saw, was not what you think you saw."

She pursed her lips tightly, turning back around and walked to her office, pushing the door open, I followed without invite. When we were in her office, I closed the door behind us. Watching Lauren as she pulled off her uniform jacket and hung it up, "Aaron is a friend, an old friend of mine."

Lauren nodded, "Old friends of yours kiss you like that?" she would not look at me as she tossed her travel packet on her desk. "Bo I really don't want to hear about how an old boyfriend of yours reappeared to reclaim his long-lost love." her golden brown eyes met mine, "If you don't mind, I have work to do."

I felt my temper rise at the ice storm that just blew in and smack me right across the face, "Lauren, you really are blind at times." Before she could throw me a comeback, I dug into my pocket and pulled out the crumpled envelope I had pulled out of my bag the night before. I had intentions of getting a new ribbon to put on my uniform, now that I knew Aaron was alive. I was going to have Leeds help me with that process, instead I tossed the envelope on front of Lauren. "Aaron, Ensign Aaron Williams, USN is a friend, one of my best friends from the desert and only a friend. A friend that I thought was dead for almost a year." I tapped at the envelope, "Here is what is not in my file, a secret I no longer have to keep , one I kept for a good reason." I stood back up, "I would tell you myself, like I had intended, but I have work to do."

I turned and walked out of her office, slamming the door behind me as I rushed past Leeds and back to my office.