Long Update...who knows what I will work on next, I am heavily inspired right now.

I paced around the room, waiting for Aaron to call me back. I tried calling Lauren, her phone was disconnected, I called the hospital. Leeds had told me that Lauren had come in that morning, picked up a few items, hugged Leeds and told her goodbye. I knew I could not go to Colonel Windsor, he would not tell me anything that was private. I would have to wait on the favors I had. I called everyone I knew, waiting. I called Kenzi to come over and keep me occupied.

I held onto the note she left, trying to figure out what would make her do this. I also slowly realized that when she told me she loved me, it was her way of saying goodbye. I was too caught up in the moment to stop and realize that was what Lauren was doing, if I had I might have been able to lock her in a closet and keep her from running. Just as Kenzi walked into the library, Aaron called.

"About damn time." I was anxious and my harsh tone reflected it.

"Sorry Bo, it's hard to shake answers and favors out of sleepy officers. But I have some news." he took a deep breath, "Lauren is on a British transport flight as we speak. The flight left Manchester an hour ago, she is literally in the air on the way to the medevac base. I did a little digging, because its super unusual for someone to be able to jet off on a moments notice. Lauren had favors of her own, it appears she had done a life saving heart operation on one of the highest ranking General in the Queens Army. He was the one who was able to get her the green light on leaving on a moments notice. Seems you two love collecting favors from old men." he chuckled lightly at his own terrible joke.

"Aaron, focus. You are as bad as Kenzi right now." I was pacing grooves into the fancy antique rug.

Kenzi flopped herself down onto the large leather couch, sticking her tongue out at me. I threw a pillow at her, "Is there anything your dad can do?"

"He is working on something, the biggest problem is its the US vs. The Royal Navy, its hard to cross lines in this regard, even as an Admiral." Aaron took a breath, "It's going to take a minute Bo, and I don't know how far we can get. I will keep you posted."

I closed my eyes and whispered a thank you, I hung up the phone, squeezing it in my hand so hard I thought I would crack the case. I tossed it on the desk and screamed, "Fuck!" at the old ceiling.

"Geez Bo Bo, I don't think the ceiling can fight back. What's the problem?" she tapped the space next to her on the couch, "Come sit and talk to Kenz."

I took a breath, "Lauren left. She is gone."

"Left the house? You two have another fight?" Kenzi was being casual and swung her feet up on the table as she tapped away at her cell phone.

I stared hard at my oldest friend, "She is on a transport plane to the desert right now, she had been deployed to a medevac unit close to where I was. She did it this morning after we spent the night together. I could not stop her and now I am running around trying to figure out what strings I have to pull to get her back, go over there, replace her. Anything, she needs to be home with her son."

I had heard Kenzi's cell phone drop onto the couch as I was rambling, I looked over at the girl. She was wide eyed and staring at me, "What. The. Fuck. The blonde doctor bolted and ran to war? I thought she had a son?"

"She does, he was handed over to his grandmother semi permanently as a result of a judge's decision." I folded my arms up, my anxiety level was building with every moment I stood by and was not doing anything to get to Lauren. "Lauren had requested to be deployed the moment she found out Jack was being handed over. She is doing the same stupid thing I did when I caught Dyson."

Kenzi grabbed her phone and stood up, standing in front of me, hands on my shoulders, "We will get her back, between the three of us, that handsome Aaron, me and you. We will figure out a way to get her back."

I looked at Kenzi, smiling weakly, "I am scared for her, Kenz. That is no place for anyone, let alone the woman I am in love with."

Kenzi nodded and hugged me, "I know, but the good doctor is tough, strong and smart. She will survive, I mean if she can deal with you, the rest will be easy." I squeezed her back as I let a small smiled come across my face.

Kenzi sat with me as I fielded phone calls from Aaron and my other contacts in the military. I had one contact that had been transferred to the unit Lauren was headed too, one of my old ward nurses that was able to get ahold of me on a satellite phone. She told me that she would call me as soon as she came into contact with Lauren and pass on a message. I continued to pace around the library until Admiral Williams called me.

"Bo, my son has filled me in on the specifics of your colleague, Commander Lewis. I have made some calls and the fellows over in the British Navy are going to get back to me. Honestly, this may be above even my pay grade. The only thing that I can actually do on my end is extend your commission, I can give you a special assignment and extend you six more months."

I clenched my jaw, "Can you get me back over there? Possibly take her place? She has a family here that needs her, a son." it was hard to keep the emotion out of my voice, I had to keep a strong, even tone that only projected that I was worried about my colleague. Not that I was trying to save the woman I loved.

Admiral was quiet for a moment, "I can't do that, Bo. That goes past anything I can do. I can maybe pull some more strings and send you over as a consultant on my behalf, check on the status of our medevac units. But that would only give you a few days or maybe a few weeks before I have to pull you out. I am bound completely by regulations on this one, kiddo."

I took a deep breath, "I will take that, when can I go over?" it was a rash decision, I knew it, but in my head if I could go over there and at least talk to Lauren, maybe I could persuade her to leave and come home. I looked over at Kenzi, who had her eyebrows raised and giving me the death stare at the words I had just uttered.

"It may take a few weeks or at least a month, Bo. The red tape I have to push past is going to take time."

I sighed hard, I wanted to leave this moment, get on a plane and be on the ground two steps behind Lauren. Admiral Williams heard me sigh, "I will do my best, Bo."

I nodded to the thin air, trying not to cry from frustration, "I appreciate it, sir. Commander Lewis has a son and she is all he has."

"I understand." I heard some papers shuffle and Admiral Williams voice dropped, "Lauren is lucky to have someone like you in her corner, Bo. I know how much you two care for each other."

I froze in my steps, I was panicked. "Um, Thank you, sir."

"Bo, rules and regulations are just those. When it comes to love, they mean very little. I learned that from Aaron." he suddenly cleared his throat, "I will get a hold of you in a few hours when I have worked out the logistics. I will fax over the paperwork for you too look at and then I will wait for you to make up your final decision."

I wiped away the lone tear that had escaped, I whispered, "Thank you again."

"No, Thank you, Bo." he said a quick goodbye and hung up. I looked at Kenzi, "Why did she run away?" I did not expect an answer from Kenzi, but she had one.

"Sometimes when you have everything and you lose the one thing that is so important too you, you can't see the good. You just see heartache and the pain, some people will do anything to escape that, even if they leave the ones they love behind. Lauren is super smart, super strong and one hell of a woman, she is just lost in the heartache of the bullshit her semi-monster in law has put her through." Kenzi pointed at me, "You might be the only one who can get through to her, and I pray to jebus that you are not going back to that damn war for years and years again, if you do I will kick your ass."

I took a deep breath, "If I can get Jack back for her, I can get her back home." I was staring at the floor, if John could weave his magic, I knew that it would bring Lauren home. "I don't even care if she wants to be with me, she has already given me so much." I took a breath.

One month later-

I was sitting in my office at the hospital, reading over the email from my old nurse, Ellen, at Lauren's unit. She had confirmed finally that a Commander L. Lewis had begun her tour as one of the lead doctors in the medevac unit. Lauren was still adjusting to the pace of the unit and the overwhelming patient loads. Ellen also told me that Lauren would keep to herself and was very kind and eager to help as much as possible, and looked scared.

I emailed Ellen back as fast as I could, telling her to tell Lauren that I wanted to hear from her if it was possible. I knew that it would be days or even weeks until Ellen responded, I had so much I wanted to pass onto Lauren but I couldn't pour my heart out to a nurse. I clicked send and leaned back in my chair. The time since Lauren had left was harder than coming home from war. Then I had been used to being alone, numb and ignoring any feelings. It all changed when I met Lauren and fell in love with her, my days were full of monotony and I went through them on autopilot. I taught my students with more determination than before, but other than that I would go to my office and then go home. I would walk by her office, which was now dark and closed up. Leeds had been reassigned to another Commander on another floor, I would only run into her in passing on the elevator. The only thing that would pull me out of the house was meeting with John. He had called me two days after Lauren left, informing me that Lauren had placed me as the liaison with John, for the ongoing court appeal, I was shocked but when he showed me the letter she had given him. It broke my heart. She had very little hope that the decision would be overturned, but trusted me to keep doing the right thing when it came to Jack. She had also left a few letters for her son to be given to him on his birthday and other special days. I was angry at her for giving up so easily.

I sat with John in the study as he went over some of the new paperwork and motions he was working on. He also handed me a letter, "This one is to be delivered to Jack in a few days, the grandmother has asked that for it to be mailed to little Jack." he sifted through files, "That woman is a she beast, that is for sure." I held onto the letter, tracing my fingers over Laurens handwriting.

I looked at John, "Can we get the boy back?"

John nodded easily, "I can and I will. Lauren's last counsel did a terrible job with the paperwork, so many loose loopholes she left wide open for the grandmother to plow through and win. If I can sew them up, and pull out some of my own tricks, I can get the decision reversed and get Jack back probably in a month or two. What the grandmother has done, infringes on so many basic rights for Lauren as the mother. The poor girl was steam rolled by expensive counsel and poor representation."

I let out a shaky breath, "Will Lauren being overseas cause a problem?" I knew that any judge would take that factor in question, maybe even bring it up as child abandonment.

"Lauren had left explicit instructions in that manner, just in case. The judge will not have a problem after I use my gift of speech, and from what I understand you are doing your best to get her to change her mind."

I nodded, "As much as I can."

John smiled, "Then that is all we need, I would say cross your fingers, Bo. But I don't think we will need too." he winked at me and shuffled his papers back up into his briefcase. He stood up, "Tell your Aunt I said hello." John left me as I sat in the empty room, a little more hope in my heart. I wanted to tell Lauren the good news, but I had no idea other than a handwritten letter. I pulled out a pad of paper and set to work, writing down everything John had told me and what was in my heart.

I smiled when I heard the soft click of Grace's heels coming down the hallway, she knocked lightly on the door and came in. In her hand was a large stack of papers, "Ysabeau, this just came for you over the fax machine." she walked over to me and set it down. One glance at the cover sheet and I saw that it was from Admiral Williams. I flipped through the entire stack and swallowed hard, he had come through on his end. I was staring at the paperwork for my consultation trip, and my service extension for another six months. Grace folded her arms, "This better not be a return ticket to where I think it is."

I looked up at my Aunt, "It is and it isn't. I will be going on a consultation trip for Admiral Williams." I flipped through the sheets again, looking for the departure date.

Grace sighed, "What if she doesn't want to come home or wants you there?" she said it softly.

"I have to try, Grace."

she nodded, "But what about you? Is this a good idea for you to go back into the bad dreams?" I could tell she was worried, my bad dreams had increased over the last few weeks. I found the sheet I was looking for, I would be leaving at the end of the next month for a two week consult trip. I clenched my jaw, it was not as soon as I wanted but it was all I had. I set the sheet aside and looked at Grace, "To answer the question, I would go back to war for her yes." I leaned back in the chair, "Its the only thing I know how to do, Grace. I spoke to John and he is getting closer to getting the boy back, if I have that..." I drifted off.

Grace walked over to me and picked up the sheet I had been looking at, "When this is done, no matter her answer to you. Please, stay home. You also have a family that needs you, loves you and is not willing to let you go again."

When I looked in her eyes, I saw how serious she was. I grabbed her hand, "I promise." it was a half promise, I honestly did not know what I would do if Lauren gave me an answer that I did not expect. I distracted myself by signing off on the orders and the extension, walking it quickly to the fax machine, sending it with one push of a button.

A Few Weeks Later-

I stood next to Grace as we waited for the car to come pick us up. My bags were piled up next to me and I was wearing my desert fatigues. They felt so foreign to me, stiff and brand new. I would be leaving within the hour for the desert. I was nervous, and not hiding it well. Grace held onto my arm as we looked around the massive front grounds. I let out a breath as she spoke, "Ysabeau, promise me you will be careful over there and try to send word that you arrived safe."

"I promise, it will be easier since I will be with some of Admiral Williams personal staff. But as soon as I land I will send word." I pulled her into a half hug. I held onto Grace a little tighter. Deep down I hoped the car coming for me would take a little longer. Grace and I both looked up when we heard a car coming up the gravel drive. I felt her tense up and then relax when we both saw it was John.

John stepped out of the car, smiling as he had a thick envelope in his hand. "I am glad I caught you now, I just left court." he took long strides over to me, holding the envelope out. I took it and opened it, "And?"

John held his arms out, "I won, Lauren won. The judge has reversed the appeal and Jack will be returning to full permanent custody of his mother in a week. We just have to process the final decision and he will be home." He smirked, "It also helps that I am notorious for being one of the best, most expensive, toughest lawyers in the Queen's Country. The judge gave quite a lecture to the grandmothers legal team, for the ruthlessness of taking advantage of a young new lawyer and a distraught mother."

I tore open the envelope and saw that John was right, the new judge hearing the appeal had found fault in Audrey and the grandmothers counsel. Citing it was unjust of them to pull a child from a stable home regardless of the nature of Laurens job or choice of partners. I felt my heart pounding as it lurched into my throat. John was scooped up into a strong hug by Grace, he laughed as he smiled, "I told you, I have the magic to make things happen, Now take that to Lauren and tell her the good news. There is also a small envelope in there from Jack, a few pictures and notes for his mother."

I had to blink away the tears, "Where will Jack be staying until I get back and if I get Lauren back."

Grace turned and looked to me, "He will be staying here with us." she took a deep breath, "I didn't want to tell you anything until John made headway. Lauren had made you and I temporary guardians until she returned."

My heart dropped, I had no idea what to say. I stared at the final decision and the envelope with Jacks tiny handwriting. I went to say something when I saw my car pull up behind Johns. Grace's face suddenly changed and she went to pick up my bags, "Come, Ysabeau. Get Lauren to come home, Jack and I will be waiting for you." she smiled weakly as John and her busied themselves with my bags.

I hugged my Aunt, "I will be back." She smiled and wiped away tears, "Both of you." I nodded as I slid into the backseat of the fancy car. I waved quickly to Grace and John before I started crying. I focused on the back of the headrest, trying to find the strength I once had and knew I would need as I moved closer to standing in the sand again.

The sun blinded me as the back of the AC 130 opened, it prevented me from clearly viewing the medevac unit. It was the smells that hit me first, making my heart skip. The smell of hot sand, diesel smoke, and just the plain smell of war, surrounded me. It made it hard for me to swallow as I felt my nerves rise. I pulled on my sunglasses and saw the hustle and bustle of the a front line unit. I took a deep breath as my two escorts waited for me to exit with them. Admiral Williams had sent Lieutenant O'Neil, the driver from the medical conference. He figured a friendly face would help me, the other escort was a young marine that was just there for security reasons. Sergeant James Regan, he was quiet and said nothing the entire flight. He was always looking around and make the slow, precise movements that comes with being security. On the flight over I learned a bit more about O'Neil, she had been deployed once before during the beginning of the war and was one of Admiral Williams personal staff, she had volunteered to escort me over. She was a tough, intelligent young woman.

O'Neil waved at me, "Lieutenant Commander? We should move."

I nodded and walked behind her, Regan was carrying my bags and handed them off to a young Canadian private who ran up with the British Major who was in charge of the Medevac. A middle aged man, Major Steven Ellis had a warm smile that lit up tired eyes. He held out his hand to shake mine, "Lieutenant Commander Ysabeau Dennis, it is a pleasure to have you here. I am eager to show you the unit and have your thoughts on things." I took his hand and shook it firmly, I was trying to focus. The moment I stepped onto the sand I was searching the masses for Lauren. Major Ellis motioned for us to follow, "I will give you and Lieutenant O'Neil a quick tour and then you can get settled in. Admiral Williams has told me you will only be here for a short two week period. I will make the most of this, we could really use the Americans integrating more into this unit, we already have the Canadians and the French merging with us, but you Americans would be an added bonus. It would allow for a quicker transport and possible pull back a few of the outlying front line units that continue to struggle."

I half listened as he continued on with statistics. I was trying to stay calm as my past started to rile up inside of me. It was clear the Major was bypassing some of the high trauma areas of the hospital and only showing us the clean and efficient parts of the unit. I swallowed hard when I heard the helicopters overhead and in the distance, yelling of doctors who were rushing to save lives. I felt my hands begin to shake, I jammed them into my pockets and tried to focus on the Major.

He took a break from his speech as we walked into a recovery ward, I looked at all the soldiers in bandages, recovering. It looked exactly like the ward I would walk up and down endlessly trying to save lives. I looked at the Major, "Excuse me, Major. I do want to offer my skills up if you need them. I am very familiar with combat medicine and I would like to get my hands dirty if that is possible."

The Major smiled and nodded, "I will take that into consideration, I do know about your service, Lt. Commander Dennis, I do have a few new doctors who could use your advice and guidance." he smiled wider at me, "Some are not quite used to the hectic pace of the desert." He took a breath, as he looked at his watch. "If you two would like, I can take you to the barracks you will be staying at. Get settled and then I will have one of the other doctors show you around, show you the ropes so to speak."

I nodded, "Excuse me, Major, but could you tell me how many new doctors you have on hand? I am just curious, I know in my unit we would only have one or two in rotation, and they would overlap the leaving doctors by four months. That way there was veterans with rookies. Do you do that here? Overlap?" I was impressed with my own bullshit, but I had to make it seem that the reason I was here was a legit consultation for Admiral Williams.

Major Ellis took a breath, "Well, lets see. I have Commander Briston, Captain Thatcher, Commander Lewis, and Lieutenant Lloyd who just arrived yesterday." he smiled, "And we only overlap the new doctors with the old by a month. But I can see the point you have with extending that, I shall take that into consideration." He smiled and held out his arm, "Please ladies, if you will head out this way I can show you your temporary home."

I nodded tightly, my heart was pounding hard. Commander Lewis. She was here. I looked at O'Neil and smiled as we followed the Major out. Regan was waiting outside and silently followed us. O'Neil and I set up in the barracks and I sat on the bed. Letting out a breath, I wanted to tun around the trauma wards and find Lauren, I stood up. "O'Neil, I am going for a walk."

She stood up, "I will come with you."

I looked at her, "You can stay here, I might tell Regan to stand down for a few. I just want to get a feel for this place."

O'Neil looked at me, "Lt. Cdr. Dennis, I am suppose to stay by your side." she let out a breath, "But I might take a nap while you go and look for Commander Lewis." she smiled wide and turned back to unpacking her bag.

I smiled lightly, "Just call me Bo, O'Neil." O'Neil smiled and nodded as I walked out of the barracks. I looked around and saw Regan standing off to the side, talking to a handful of US Marines standing by a jeep. He looked up and started to take steps towards me, I waved him off and made the motion I was just heading to the bathroom. He stared for a moment and nodded slowly, returning to his conversation.

I pulled my hat on tighter and made sure my sunglasses covered most of my face. I wanted to be able to sneak around without too much hassle. I walked past the Officers barracks and moved closer to the active trauma wards that Major Ellis had skirted. When I moved closer I was met with familiar smells of sand, dirt, blood and metal. The emotions it brought up reminded me of a familiar cologne, it brought back so many memories. I clenched my jaw and walked closer, I could see that there were a few lingering patients on gurneys, being bandaged up by nurses. I glanced around and saw no doctors. I kept walking and looked up as I heard the familiar sound of air being cut by the blades of helicopter.

I paused and looked at it, like I had on my first day of my first tour. It was always a mesmerizing sight to view. The precision the pilot had to have to set the helicopter down was like watching a painter paint.

My stares were broken by the yelling and running that came with incoming trauma. I heard one doctor yell that there was at least fifteen patients on this load, a ambush on a recon unit. I watched as the staff began to scramble, pushing out the stable patients to make room for the new ones. I felt a hand on my back, I turned and looked into the tired grey eyes of a young British lieutenant, "Are you one of the new doctors?"

I shook my head, "No, I am not. I am just here on a official visit." he frowned and nodded, "I was hoping you were, we could use an extra pair of hands." he went to take a few steps away, I grabbed his arm.

"I am a doctor though, just tell me where I can get some gloves."

He smiled wide and looked at my name tag, "Well, then Dennis. Follow me." he motioned for me to follow him as he ran into the ward I had just been staring into.

As soon I was inside, my mind and body fell into autopilot. I was tossed a box of gloves and a mask, the British Lieutenant walked over to me, "If you need help, let me know. These nurses are amazing, the other doctors should be here in a few moments."

I smiled as I pulled on the gloves, looking at his name tag, "Lieutenant Avalon? I served two tours in the 85th USN medevac unit."

Avalon's eyes widened and he smiled, "I feel you may teach me a thing or two." he glanced away from me as the first of the patients came rolling in through the double doors.

I snapped into action and ran to the first gurney, the soldier had some small shrapnel wounds but was alive. I triaged him and waved for a nurse to push him towards the back and start debridement. The next patient that came in was worse, he had a shrapnel wounds and a few gunshot wounds to his leg and midsection. He was bleeding heavily, I took a deep breath and called for a nurse to come assist me. I began working on the bleeders, my hands were moving on their own as they found the sources and I quickly closed the wound. I stabilized the young man who was passed out, I was focused on checking his for internal bleeding when I heard one of the other doctors yell for assistance. I looked up and saw that one of the newer doctors was struggling with a heavy bleeder. I told the nurse assisting me to continue what I was doing and ran to the other doctor. The young doctor was shaking and panicking as he held his hands into the stomach of the soldier beneath him, he had a internal active bleeder and had no idea what too do. I turned to grab a pair of clamps off the cart next to me when I heard a familiar voice.

"Briston, on the count of three, pull your hands out. I will take over for you while you go get the surgeon." I looked up and paused for a moment. Lauren had rushed in, pulling off her bloody gloves, she was pulling on a fresh pair as issued instruction to the scared Briston. She counted to three and placed her hands where Briston was. The poor kid ran out in search of the surgeon. Lauren looked over the soldier, she called out, "I need clamps, now!" I glanced at her, her hair was up in a messy bun, her desert fatigues looked worn and there was spots of dried blood. She had the same look I did after a few months of being in a war medevac, tired, frustrated and operating on little sleep and a ton of adrenaline.

I swallowed hard and stepped to her side, "Here are your clamps, Dr. Lewis." I handed them over as she kept her focus on the soldier, she was in her zone and didn't even register my voice. "Thank you. I am going to need more blood. But I need you to hold this clamp while I grab it." she reached out, grabbing my hand and wrapping it around the clamp that she had just placed.

I looked down, "You are also going to need a scalpel, we are going to have too widen the wound to properly close up the bleeder, I also see small chunks of shrapnel pressing on his spleen."

I watched as her brow furrow, she looked up at me about to say something when her eyes met mine. Even though I was wearing a hat and had a mask on, I knew she recognized me instantly. I watched as her pupils dilate. "Bo?"

"Go get the blood, I will hold the clamp." I turned back to the soldier as another nurse came up to assist us. " I have this." Lauren turned back to the nurse, I watched her turn pale and finally nod and step away to run for more blood. While she was gone I had the nurse assist me in starting to close up the bleeder and pack the first one. I was working on the second when Lauren came back, setting up the blood. I rattled off what I did as she assisted me in closing up the last wound, stabilizing the kid on the gurney and sending him off to surgery.

I let out the breath I was holding and looked around, the rest of the staff had stabilized the severely wounded soldiers, all that was left was a handful of minor lacerations and scrapes. I pulled off my gloves and turned to Lauren. I pulled off the mask and looked at her as she signed off on a few charts, she turned to me and I saw her jaw clench hard. "Bo, what are you doing here."

I balled up the mask into the gloves, "Officially, I am on a consult trip for the United States Navy." I looked in her golden brown eyes, ones that I realized I missed more than I thought as I stood in front of her. "Unofficially...I am here for you."

Lauren ripped her gloves off and threw them into a trash can, I could tell she was angry, "I told you not to come after me."

I walked closer to her, "I never listened to your orders before, why would I now?" I smiled weakly, "I have something to tell you." I kept my gaze on her eyes, I could tell she was tired and the war was wearing her down like it had me. The glint that was always there was fading, exhaustion setting in mixed with the stress of everything that came with living in a war zone. She folded her arms, "You shouldn't be here." her tone was edgy. I reached my arm out to touch her when I heard Major Ellis come into the ward.

" Lt. Cdr. Dennis! I found you!" he smiled at Lauren, "Lewis, glad you are here. I was going to come and find you." he looked at me, "Avalon tells me that you got your hands dirty with this last run? I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it, it feels like we never have enough hands." Ellis looked at Lauren, "Lewis, if you are not busy, I would like you to show our guest here the ins and outs of our trauma operations."

He turned back to me, "Commander Lewis here is one of our newest doctors, but far from the weakest. She has already improved operations tenfold in the short time she has been here."

I kept my eyes on Lauren, as she frowned at the Major. She took a deep breath, "Yes sir, I can do that." I knew she would not disobey or contradict an order, whereas I would have told the Major to shove it up his ass and walk away. The Major smiled wide, "Perfect. I will leave you to it." he rustled away as Lauren turned her back to me, "I will show you where we do surgery."

I followed her out into the desert. I walked up to her and gently grabbed her elbow, "I need to talk to you first, Lauren." I looked around, "The barracks I am in is practically empty."

Lauren sighed, "Bo, I am not going to do this. I told you to not follow me, I don't want you here, I don't need you saving me from my choice." I could tell she was trying to hold her ground.

I nodded, "I know, I know you are angry. Be angry with me. I am not here for me, I am here for you and Jack."

Lauren froze when she heard her sons name, "Don't do that."

I took a deep breath, "Just follow me to my barracks, let me give you what I have too and that will be it. I will finish out this silly bullshit visit and go." I knew I was negotiating with her, but I had too. I had to give her the envelope from John. Lauren said nothing, just motioned with her hand for me to start walking to my barracks. I turned and started walking back, hearing her footsteps behind me, I tried not to run or turn and grab her in my arms.

Thankfully the barracks was empty aside from a pissed off Regan standing outside. He glared at me and Lauren, "Excuse me ma'am, but I would prefer it if you didn't lie about the bathroom again. I am responsible for you and I can't be with you sneaking off."

I nodded and smiled, "I apologize for that, Regan. Won't happen again." I held open the door for Lauren. "If O'Neil comes back, tell her I am having a meeting with Commander Lewis here." Regan nodded and took his position outside of the barracks.

Lauren looked around the higher quality barracks, "Hmm. Security detail and a clean bed. Some bullshit visit this is." I looked back at her, "Not by my choice, I am happy to be sleeping in sandy barracks with the rest of you." I grabbed my bag and dug out the envelope and walked back to Lauren. Handing it too her, "This was given to me right before I got on the airplane. John told me to deliver it too you as soon I found you."

Lauren took the envelope, walking over to one of the extra beds and sitting down she pulled open the envelope and pulled the stack of papers out. She scanned over the front page, as she neared the bottom she gasped and covered her mouth. Tears began to flood in her eyes as she flipped through the court documents quickly. I walked over to her and sat next to her, keeping a bit of space between us as she let out soft sobs. When she was done, she looked up at me, "How did he do it?"

I had to turn away from her or I would lose my composure, "He is one of the best lawyers, he was able to fix the mess left by Audrey, prove that the grandmother had railroaded you and your lack of good counsel. The judge found you in favor, regardless of you being a Naval Officer in war. In four days, Jack will be with Grace getting settled in until you come home." I reached to my bag, pulling out the last envelope, "Here, this is for you too."

Lauren took the small white envelope, her hands were shaking as she opened it. When she unfolded the small drawings and the little notes from her son, she smiled and let out a sob. She leaned forward on her knees. I moved closer to her, putting hand on her back, whispering, "I told you I would do everything I could to fight with you." Lauren said nothing as she moved quickly and pulled me into a tight hug, sobbing. I held her tightly, to comfort her as well as I missed having her in my arms. "You can come home now, Lauren."

She pulled back, shaking her head, "I have ten months left, Bo. I can't, I can't leave. I am needed here." I could see the struggle in her eyes, she was experiencing the same feelings I had. I had wanted to leave so badly, so many times, but couldn't knowing how much I was needed.

I reached up, placing my hands on the sides of her face, "Lauren, I came here to try and talk you out of this. Get you to come home with me. But I know what you are going through. I love you so much, that I tried to take your place so you could go home, I tried everything I could think of. I know you are upset with me coming here. This silly visit was the best I could do, but it was the only way I could get you the news. When I saw you working in the trauma ward, I saw how important this is too you. All I can do is ask that you think about it, I know you have just as many favors as I do to wiggle a way back home. Jack will have a fantastic home until you get home, whether its in a few days or at the end of the year. I promise Grace and I will take care of him." I was rambling, I had to say my piece before Lauren was able to make a mistake.

Lauren looked me in the eye, "I've made quite a mess." she looked down at the little drawings, then back up at me. There was a strange silence falling between us, I smiled and dropped my hands. Lauren caught one of them, her fingers linking into mine. She took a breath and leaned forward, her lips meeting mine quickly, but softly. It was a haste kiss, but it was more than enough for the both of us. Lauren leaned her forehead against mine, "I love you too, Bo. You constantly amazing me with your stubborn determination." she pressed another soft kiss against the corner of my mouth and stood up. Collecting the envelopes, "I should get back to the ward." she gripped the envelopes in her hand and looked at me, "I will find you later."

I smiled and nodded, I knew she had to think about everything, "I will be around." I smiled and watched her walk out. When I was alone, I let out the breath and held my head in my hands.

The rest of that day was spent with Major Ellis, pouring over statistics and what not. He was sold that I was there for a true visit. He told me about all the procedures they handled here, the different doctors and their skills. I half listened, I was too focused on Lauren, hoping to see her later and have her tell me that she was coming home. It was like that for a few days, I only saw Lauren in passing as she ran to a incoming call. She had not really come to find me later and I was beginning to get worried.

One day, halfway through the visit and after hours of walking around and going over this or that, I was let go to search out dinner. Regan was my tail as I grabbed O'Neil and headed to the mess hall. The food was as I remembered it, terrible but edible.

O'Neil and I chatted about random things as we chewed on meatloaf. I looked up as O'Neil was telling me a story about her first deployment and when the mess hall ran out of food and started serving MRE's as a replacement. I smiled and poked at the lump of grey meat. "It happened once or twice to us in the 85th. Nothing beats a MRE after a long shift on your feet. Especially when the cookie is stale."

O'Neil laughed, "Oh I know, the only worthy part of the meal and its stale." I continued to pick at the food when I heard O'Neil, "Commander Lewis, good to see you again."

My head shot up, Lauren was setting down her tray, a smile on her face, "Lieutenant O'Neil, its good to see you again." Lauren looked in my eyes, " . Dennis, you mind if I sit with you?"

I smiled at the use of my rank, "Not at all." I knew I was staring at her, but I couldn't help it, I had missed her immensely. O'Neil stood up quickly, "Bo..er... . If its okay, I am going to call it an early night. I guess tomorrow we are heading to the rear transport unit? 0600 hours."

I looked at the young woman, she winked at me lightly, "That is fine, ask Regan if he would like to call it an early night." O'Neil nodded and I watched her walk over to the young marine. I turned my focus to Lauren, "Hey."

"i am sorry I never came back later, we got overwhelmed with patients and I lost track of time." she poked at her food, I noticed she was thinner.

I grabbed the small bottle of hot sauce and handed it over to her, "This stuff is spicy as shit, but it makes the food a little more edible."

Lauren laughed lightly, "I already tried that, this meatloaf has started to grow on me." She lifted up a forkful of meatloaf and placed it in her mouth, chewing quickly and swallowing it. "I also rarely have much time to sit and eat."

I nodded in agreement, "I can understand that." the conversation was awkward, I opened my mouth to ask her about her decision, but she cut me off before I started. "I can go home in three months, I called in a few of my favors. I want to finish at least half of my time here, they agreed to that. After the halfway point they are transferring me back to the Veterans Hospital in London to finish out the rest of the months." she looked up at me, "I need to be home for my son...and you." she sniffled a little, "I should have not run away from the two people I loved more than anything."

I reached over and placed my hand on top of hers, "Can we go for a walk?" I looked around at the half full mess hall. Lauren pushed her tray away and stood up. "There is a quiet spot over by the edge of the officer barracks, I go there a lot. You can see the stars and its almost feels like you aren't here."

I walked behind her as she led me to the quiet spot. When we were free and clear of eyes and ears, I reached for her hand, taking it in mine. I smiled when she laced her fingers in mine, squeezing. She stopped at the edge of the barracks, it was quieter than the rest of the unit. The sounds of the normal activity was all blocked by the buildings on the edge and the sandbags that made temporary walls.

Lauren held her head up, looking into the night sky, "Did it feel like this when you were? Two months feels like two years?"

I stepped closer to her, "It did, and two years felt like a decade." I leaned against her, "I've missed you, Lauren." it slipped out, I immediately felt guilty for saying it.

Lauren looked at me, turning to face me, she bent down and kissed me. Deeper than the first one in the barracks, this kiss was full of need and passion. When she parted, leaving me breathless, she closed her eyes, "I missed you more." I slid my arms around her waist and pulled her close, laying my head against her chest so I could hear her heartbeat, I took a deep breath, "When I get home, I am leaving the Navy for good." it was a casual statement that came from nowhere. Lauren ran her hand over my hair, "I am intending to do the same thing, I want to be home with you and Jack." I felt her take a deep breath as if she was about to say something.

We both turned to look at where the footsteps echoing on the sand was coming from. I backed out of her arms, just in case it was another officer. A young British private came around the corner, breathless, "Commander Lewis, you are needed. A small squad was attacked about ten kilometers from here and they are sending out a chopper. One of the soldiers is in cardiac arrest and Major Ellis wants to you to go." he looked panicked. Lauren moved quickly, "Let's go." she looked back at me, "You can come with or stay here, but I am sure I could use an extra pair hands belonging to the wonder kid."

I smiled and ran after her, "Don't have to ask twice."

The three of us ran to the helipad, Lauren was met by one of the nurses and handed a large medical bag, a helmet and a flack jacket. I was handed the same and climbed after Lauren, I was taking the spot of the young private who found us. He seemed relieved but guilty, I winked at him, "Tell whoever the egotistical American made you get off, they will understand." I was tapped on the back by the door gunner, and helped in the helicopter by the other armed escort that was riding with us.

The helicopter lifted off quickly, Lauren was struggling getting her helmet on. I leaned over in my seat and took it off, yelling, "Put your flak jacket on first." she tried to shake her head no, signaling it was too heavy. I shook my head and forced it on her, "You are wearing it." I then helped her with the helmet. The helicopter turned quickly and I was lurched to one side in the middle of trying to get my flak jacket on, I lost the grip I had on my flak jacket, watching it tumble out the open door. I clenched my jaw, "Son of a bitch." I threw my helmet on, I knew helicopters carried extras. I would grab one when we landed. I looked up at Lauren. She was trying to keep her eyes on the metal rivets, I could tell how nervous she was. I yelled into the microphone, "First time in one of these?"

Lauren nodded quickly, her death grip on the medical bag was the other give away. I smiled and motioned for her to look in my eyes, "Look here and I promise it will all be okay."

Her golden brown eyes focused on mine and she began to ease up. As the pilot announced we were getting close, and that we should brace for a quick landing, Lauren mouthed "I love you." I mouthed it back to her as the helicopter descended quickly.

The sounds of yelling and screams overtook the sounds of the helicopter blades cutting through the air. A dirty, bloodied soldier ran up to the open door, grabbing the medical bag he grabbed my hand as I unbuckled, he screamed in my ear as I was close, "I got two guys that are bleeding heavily, and one is having a heart attack, he is over by the Humvee. We chased the bastards off, but they will be back now that the helicopter is here." I nodded and let him pull me off the helicopter. Lauren was quick to follow me as we ran to the small squad. The two soldiers that were also on the helicopter followed us, keeping a close eye on our backs.

I ran to the two soldiers first as Lauren was taken to the one having a possible heart attack. I looked over them quickly, I started ripping open bandages and digging under the field dressings, one was in need of immediate surgery to remove the large chunk of metal that was lodged into his upper thigh. I yelled instructions to the other soldiers to apply pressure while I checked on the second. The second had a chest wound that had stopped bleeding on its own, but had filled the chest up with blood. I had to do a quick field chest tube and begin wrapping it up to stabilize the soldier. I looked up at where Lauren was, she was working on the cardiac arrest, giving him aspirin and trying to get him to calm down enough so she could get him back to the helicopter. She looked back and met my eyes. I went to smile at her to reassure her when I heard a quick series of pops, pops like firecrackers. I flinched knowing exactly what it was.

All of the soldiers dipped their heads down, I watched as the one with Lauren pushed her down to the ground. I laid on top of the soldier I had just put a tube in. that's when I remembered I had not bothered to grab the extra flak jacket on the way out. The door gunner ran over to me and dropped down, "We gotta get outta here, there's a large squad of bastards coming our way, the helicopter drew them out. The pilot is going to lift up, lay down some covering fire to scare them off. I need you and Commander Lewis to hustle your asses and get these boys closer to the chopper. We will drop back down and do a grab and run." he looked at me with wide green eyes, "You copy?"

"I copy." The door gunner stood up, fired a few rounds and ran back to the helicopter. I grabbed one of the other soldiers, "I need you to help get these two back that way. I also need one of you to help the other doctor, we have a few minutes at most to get these boys out of here safely." the soldier nodded and tapped a few of his buddies, they all moved quickly, laying down cover fire as I moved with the one with the chest tube. I kept my focus as the helicopter lifted up and spun around, emptying as much ammo as they could on the enemy. It gave us a reprieve as we pulled the wounded towards the landing zone. The helicopter lowered back down, the door gunner jumped out and helped to load the first two.

I looked back at Lauren, she was struggling with her soldier. I motioned to the door gunner that I was running back. He nodded and covered me as I ran. I picked up the end of the small tarp that we were using to carry the wounded. I looked at Lauren, her eyes were full of fear but determined to get the guy on the helicopter. The door gunner met us halfway with the other soldier who was riding with us, they took over for us, moving faster than we had back to the helicopter. I was two steps ahead of Lauren when I heard the firecracker pops start up again, followed by the barrage of return fire. I turned to Lauren, she was running towards me, when I saw a bullet tear into her arm as another hit her in the side knocking her from her steps, forcing her to drop to her knees.

I screamed, "NO!" I turned to run back, I felt a hand try and hold me back, I ripped my arm out and ran towards her. She was trying to get up, but I could tell the bullet had broken her arm. I made it to her and dropped to my knees pulling her up, "Come on, come on, get up, Lauren. We are almost there." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, I forced her up. She had the wind knocked out of her and was going into shock. I wrapped an arm around her, "Three more steps and its back to the shitty meatloaf you love." I swallowed hard as I got her to jog with me, the back and forth of the gunfire radiating around us. The door gunner met us halfway, he scooped Lauren up like she was nothing and ran towards the open door. I ran as fast as I could.

Then I felt what felt like two extremely hot bee stings tear through my upper shoulder and on my middle back. It was so hot it forced me to a stop, the sound around me became muted and things felt like they were slowing down.

I instinctively looked up at the door of the helicopter, Lauren was sitting in her seat, tears running down her face screaming and looking at me. Her arm reaching out for me as the other soldier held her back, trying to strap her in. I tried to smiled and as I tried to run again, I coughed hard and tasted blood in my mouth. I reached up and wiped at my mouth, my fingers were covered in blood. I closed my eyes and felt woozy, I looked up at the door gunner who was running towards me, he was suddenly blurry. I reached for him, and the last thing in my head before everything went black was, I should have grabbed that goddamn flak jacket.