Over the course of the next two weeks, all of Draco's attempts at contracting Granger remained futile. Owls returned without their letters but also heralding no reply. The box of Sugar Quills he'd sent arrived in the same package, but the contents had been obliterated, smashed all to hell until they were practically dust.
Hindsight was always painfully clear, and this not only proved it, it exasperated it. But how could he regret it when that was how he'd ended up getting to know the witch in the first place.
Finally, Christmas passed, Boxing Day too and not a day too soon, he was yet again on the Hogwarts Express. He found a table on the opposite end of the car from Theo and Blaise, ignoring the daggers they were shooting at his back.
The castle was the same that he'd known all these years, only less festive as when he'd left two weeks prior. He felt simultaneously hollow and on edge, wandering the castle hoping for a glimpse of the witch he'd been pining over, disappointment washing over him again and again at every corner.
That night he fell into his bed and stared up at the canopy; hours passed until sleep finally overtook him.
xXx
Draco was the first person to the Great Hall the following morning. He didn't enter; instead, he stood right outside the doors with his arms crossed and features pinched. She'd have to come eventually.
A bloody hour. That's how long he stood there waiting until her wild curls rounded the corner, her arm linked through Ginny Weasley's and chin tilted proudly.
His stomach knotted and all of his resolve melted and pooled at his feet.
"Granger!" He hissed at her back as she snubbed him and strutted into the hall. "Granger, please!"
She didn't pause, didn't even hesitate a single step as she marched to her table, taking a seat next to Potter and ignoring Draco's existence completely.
"Desperate doesn't look good on you, Mate." Blaise chuckled as he passed, clapping a condescending palm on Draco's shoulder that he violently shrugged off. "Last chance to apologize."
Lip curling in a sneer, Draco turned on his heel and down the hall. "Piss off, Zabini."
xXx
The next few days were much of the same. Not only had he regressed to where he'd begun, what with Granger ignoring his existence except to snarl if he got too close, but it had gotten worse. Frigid, was perhaps the nicest term he could muster when discussing her particular proclivity for icing him out.
Astronomy came, and while Draco did indeed take his seat next to his partner, he trained his eyes ahead as best he could. Still, at various moments during class his gaze would flicker to his left. For most of the hour, she looked stoic, features unaffected and her chin tilted upwards when she wasn't scrawling notes on her parchment. But then, right at the very end, he saw it. A tear that she quickly banished from her cheek as Professor Sinistra began wrapping up the lecture.
Merlin, fuck it all. He wanted to make it better. Wanted to just reach out and rest a hand on hers and let her know that he still saw her, still cared, even if his actions so blatantly contradicted the ideal.
"I want to congratulate you all on a job well done last term. Your charting and essays were exceptional and exactly what I would expect from you seventh years." With a flick of their Professor's wrist, parchments lifted off her desk and floated down to the table in front of each respective student.
It was their assignment, with an 'O' written proudly on the top along with a lovely handwritten note, You two make a wonderful team. This was the most throughout and comprehensive of the group. Brilliant job.
Granger's gaze flickered over to the paper and then with a dismissive push of her fingers, sent the report over to him.
"Starting next week we will go over the project for this term. Enjoy the rest of your day. Class dismissed."
Chair legs scraping over the stone and the swell of hushed voices filled the classroom and before he lost her again, he darted out, folding his fingers around her forearm. "Granger, please. Will you just listen to me?"
She remained silent, her only answer was ripping her arm back and stormed from the classroom. Cursing under his breath, he pounded a fist into the tabletop and growled at nothing in particular.
"You're going to have to do better than that, Mister Malfoy." Professor Sinistra was still there, her glasses perched dangerously low on her long nose as her almost amethyst coloured eyes peered over the frame at him.
Brilliant. Even their bloody professor knew what a sodding arse he was. Grabbing up his belongings, Draco stuffed them quickly into his bag and sprinted from the classroom.
"Granger!" The witch in question froze for a brief moment, before tensing and continuing onward. "Merlin, would you stop being so bloody tempestuous and just talk to me!"
That grabbed her attention. She turned so fast that Draco barely knew she had before she was rearing on him and shoving her pointer finger into his chest. "You are an arsehole of massive proportions. You befriended me under the guise of getting to know me, you were trying to what? Win a bet? Bragging rights? I trusted you!"
"I know!" His hands sliced through the air as he towered over her. Around them a small crowd formed, students from every house and every year come to watch Hermione Granger make stardust of him. "I know I'm a prick, alright? But I changed! You—you changed me. And somewhere along the way, I stopped doing it for any reason other than I wanted to know you. I was so humiliated I couldn't come clean, I knew you wouldn't understand."
"I would have, Malfoy! If you told me and explained, I would—"
With an indignant snort, Draco rolled his eyes. "Bull-fucking-shite. You would've reacted exactly as you're reacting now. I'm sorry that I made a mistake. But I meant what I said; I want to be with you for real and I think you want to be with me too. But, if you don't, then at least have the heart to just fucking end it so I know."
"Are you dense? Of course, it's over. You broke my heart and humiliated me. The fact that I have to see you at all for the next five months makes me sick." Her voice trembled as she did exactly what Draco knew she would, crushed him into nothing.
His gaze misted, lips pulling into a tight line to keep from all-out sobbing. "Message received. Loud and clear, Granger."
Ignoring the way his heart wrenched and begged him to stay, he tore down the corridor, desperate to return to his dungeon dwellings and forget that anything ever happened with Hogwart's resident Dragon Queen.
xXx
Granger,
I know that I told you I'd piss off and I will. But since you refuse to let me explain myself in person, I am holding out hope that you'll at least read this letter. Maybe at least not think of me as complete and utter scum, just a fool who didn't know what he'd gotten himself into.
I had a perception of you, one I think you tried very hard to emanate to keep the blokes like me away. I stupidly wanted to be the one to break through that. It wasn't so I could get in your knickers or anything of the sort, I just…I wanted to. And it makes me feel sick to even write those words out, but they're true.
But somewhere along the way, all the things that drove me crazy about you, started being charming. You're funny, in a weird way, and you're quite possibly the smartest person I've ever met.
After we kissed, I knew I was going to tell you. I wanted to do it all properly but every time an opportunity came along, I just wanted to stay in that bubble a little while longer. But, I should have.
I'm sorry.
I got you a Christmas present…that's what in the box, but I'm sure you've figured that out. I was hoping to give it to you in person but since that won't be possible, here. I still want you to have it. I fell for you under the stars and wanted a way to give them all to you. Open in the dark and cast a lumos on it.
Again, sorry that I'm a wanker. You didn't deserve any of this.
-D.M
He stared at the tiny bauble, about the size of a snitch but silver and engraved with constellations. Safe in the confines of his bed, drapes drawn, he mumbled the necessary spell and watched as the trinket flickered to life. The darkness was now peppered with stars, even planets now visible in a swirl of vibrant blues or purples.
Turning his lips down, he whispered, "Nox," and placed the gift back in its wrappings, closing the lid and pinning his letter to the top. Vainly, he held onto hope. It was a fool's wish, but it was his to hold onto.
xXx
The days wore on with little sight of Granger. He hated the way that one witch could plummet him into this kind of state, but he'd honestly never felt so bloody alone. Finishing out the year would be more like a sentence at Azkaban, one day bleeding into the next with little reprieve.
Chin tucked into his chest, Draco meandered towards his seat at the Slytherin table, halted only by the shouting of an indignant witch at his back.
"Malfoy!"
Merlin, have mercy. His stomach plummeted and he groaned, hardly ready for another bout of verbal whiplashing with an audience. Apparently, the student body was ready as well, some of them going so far as to rub their hands together merrily as they turned and gathered around them.
"You think a gift is going to win me over?"
"I've long since given up hope that I might win you over, Granger. It was for you, so I gave it to you. End of." He drawled, turning back the way he'd been heading.
"No."
There was that bleeding word again. Lips pulling back in a sneer, he faced her yet again. "What gives, Granger? Do you have some quota that you have to hit every day with that bloody word? It wasn't a question!"
"No."
An unintelligible little growl rumbled past his lips and he was about to go on and lose it on every blasted student whispering around them right now. The crowd that had gathered was almost laughable, that is, if they weren't there to witness his final castration.
"You got to say your peace and I want a chance to say mine, Malfoy. You're pretentious. And incorrigible and not to mention smug and underhanded when you are trying to get your way. You always have a second set of motives and I think you're an absolute arse when you're around those two morons—" Granger paused to jerk her chin at Theo and Blaise and that even Malfoy had to laugh around the terrible knot in his throat.
"Yeah, that's a non-issue. They're tossers anyway," he said with a snort.
"I hate the way you think you're charming and good looking, even if you are. I hate when I'm trying to study and you won't stop staring at me or the way that you think you're doing so in secret, even though it's bloody obvious. I hate that you make grand gestures in front of people even if it does make me feel special and noticed."
Draco's brow knitted tightly as she wore on, realizing that while he was most definitely getting his arse dragged, she was saying something else at the end. Hope inflated in his chest until he thought he might burst.
She gulped as tears spilled over onto her cheeks. "But the worst part is that I don't hate you. Even if I bloody want to because of all the reasons I just listed and many more, but I can't. And I miss you." Her voice broke at the end and it rattled through the emptiness of Draco's chest.
It was quite possible that Draco Malfoy was now in a state of shock. His eyes were wide and round, staring at her those she'd just sprouted another head and all he could manage was to let his jaw fall open as their classmates gaped all around them.
How long had he been silent? It was probably too long. It was probably now best for him to say something but then just as words started to form on the back of his tongue, she turned and sprinted from the Great Hall, leaving him with an audience of his very own and a thundering between his ears.
Blinking himself back into reality, he rushed after her, shoving the snickering Hufflepuffs from his way. Merlin, the witch was quick but once in the corridor he dropped his bag in a deafening thud and screamed her name. "Granger!"
She froze, hanging her head before turning, tears staining her cheeks. "What, Malfoy?" she asked, frantically wiping at her face.
Jogging up to her, he paused to catch his breath and after a too-long moment, straightened to stare down at her, still panting heavy breaths. "You can't just say something like that and leave!"
Huffing loudly, she crossed her arms and leveled her narrowed glare in his direction. "You clearly have moved on and I just made an arse out of myself…" Her voice drifted off, pain dripping from each word and he couldn't help but laugh.
"Granger, you're mad. I don't think I'm capable of moving on. You've destroyed all other witches for me; I meant what I said. I love you." The confession hung between them for an important moment before he continued, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "And I only didn't say it in front of all those twits because I was in a state of complete and utter shock. But I do and I'll say it again and again. Louder, if it pleases you." Turning over his shoulder to the crowd now forty paces away, still in rapture by their debacle he shouted. "I LOVE HER YOU IDIOTS!"
Her laugh filled the air around him and he returned his attention to his witch, taking a step into her and cradling her jaw. "And now I'm going to kiss you."
Hovering his lips over hers, he waited. Surely if she'd been luring him in for a hex or swift kick to the bollocks, now would be the time. But instead, remarkably, she grinned. Her small hands resting on his hips as she lifted on her toes to close the space between them.
What she started, he deepened; letting his lips move fervidly over hers as his hands dropped from her jaw to her waist and lifted her until her feet were off the cobbled stone. Behind them, dozens and dozens of hoots and hollers echoed down the hall along with one well-timed 'Get it, Granger!' And their lips parted only to laugh, pressing their foreheads together as Draco set her back on the ground.
Draco Malfoy had never considered himself a lucky bloke. But he was quite certain that he would forever thank his lucky stars that those two bumbling idiots sat across from him that one day.
xXx
I hope the last week since your birthday has been wonderful, MD! I had so much fun writing this for you and I hope you all enjoyed reading it!
Biggest of thanks to my Alpha and Beta, MCal for giving this your time and attention!
If you're interested in hearing me talk about the fandom, Frumpologist and I have started a podcast that will be going live in the next week! Join us on Facebook at Wine, Wands and Waffling for all things Fanfic and Fandom! We will be talking with tons of your favorite authors, dissecting fics and so, so so much more! Come on and hang with us!