Kurt spent the next three weeks auditioning for plays and eating dinner alone at night on the couch, while watching Downton Abbey on Netflix. Rachel spent more and more time with Brody and double dating with Mac and Dave. Kurt pretended like it didn't hurt his feelings, but it stung. Knowing that they were going out every other night for dinners and concerts and plays, and Kurt was pathetic and alone.
The end of the three weeks, he had finally landed another part and was busy preparing to open a new play about a father who came out when he was in his sixties. He played the gay son of the father, who helped his dad transition into his new life. He was very proud of this production and wanted his friends there with him.
Rachel and Brody said they'd do their best to come. It was a limited run of three weeks and would open sometime in November and go into the first week in December. Kurt spent his time rehearsing and crashing into bed.
It was finally time for opening night and Kurt was excited. He texted Rachel to see if she and Brody were coming to opening night and wondered and slightly hoped they would bring Dave.
He was being called to stage then and two hours later, receiving a standing ovation.
He looked out to the audience the entire night, but couldn't spot Rachel or Brody.
Then he got back to his dressing room and saw a text from Rachel.
They were at one of Mac's performances, but promised they would come see the show before the run was over.
Kurt watched his phone and the audience for them every night for two weeks.
They never showed up.
He always got some excuse about how they were busy with Mac and Dave, or Brody had schoolwork, or Rachel was just too tired.
He finally got it. He wasn't part of the group anymore, or at least Rachel and Brody's group. Dave had cut him out, when he had met Mac and decided he'd rather be in a relationship with him than have a friendship with Kurt.
And that really fucking hurt. He wouldn't cry though. He wasn't going to let them win.
It was closing night and a Saturday evening. He had done the matinee performance and was getting ready for the last show.
He heard a knock on his door and figured it was either Alec, his understudy, or the stage manager with some notes from the director.
He opened it to see Brody standing there.
"Hey, Brody."
"Hey, Kurt."
"What are you doing here?"
"Rachel and I came to see your play tonight, but she got a call from Dave and she had to go help him out."
"Oh, well, I'm glad to see you at least made an effort to come, it's the thought that counts right?"
Kurt knew he sounded pissed, but at that point, it didn't even bother him. They were no longer friends in his mind and so what if they felt bad? They deserved it.
"No need to be snippy, Kurt."
Kurt just scoffed and rolled his eyes at that.
"No need to be snippy? Really? Okay, you're right. It's totally cool that I get the biggest opportunity of my career and when I ask my best friends to come watch and support me, they decide to hang out with their other best friend who I fucking introduced them to in the first place and cut me out entirely for over a month. You're right, I don't have any reason to be pissed. Please do continue to make me feel like more shit."
"Kurt, the world doesn't revolve around you."
"Oh believe me, I am well aware of that one. In fact, I think you and Rachel believe it revolves around Mac and Dave."
"You're really going to stand there and yell at me for wanting to hang out with my friends?"
"Nope. Go ahead, hang out with them, have Rachel be a surrogate for them, be Mac's fucking best man. Do whatever the hell it is you want to do, but don't fucking stand there and act like I don't have a reason or right to be upset with you and Rachel. And I'm not mad that you want to hang out with your friends. I'm mad that you suddenly decided that I'm no longer a friend that you want to hang out with. But I get it. No one wants to hang out with the gay drama queen who's in love with his best friend."
"Kurt, I don't know what happened to you, but you are not the friend that Rachel and I know. That's why we don't like hanging out with you. You are mean and bitter and quite frankly a selfish asshole. But keep it up, you really want to see what it's like when Rachel cuts you out of her life? I'll tell her that she shouldn't talk to you at all."
"Really? You're going to tell your girlfriend to stop talking to and stop seeing someone she's already not talking to or seeing. I think she's already doing that one, Brody."
"I don't like this version of you, Kurt."
"I don't either, but hey the good news is that you're already not talking to or hanging out with me, so you don't have to be around this version of me."
Brody just shook his head sadly and walked away.
Kurt finished his play, took his bow and then walked into his dressing room.
He saw a note on his stand and read it.
Kurt,
Brody and I do care about you. I know that this situation with Dave and Mac has been hard, but you have to stop moping around and feeling sorry for yourself. I love you. A lot. And as your best friend, because you don't get to just decide I'm not your best friend anymore, I'm giving you time and space, because I know you too well. Go on a vacation, go get laid, go do something that will get you back on track, because you are too beautiful and talented and fucking amazing to let something like unrequited love hold you back. P.S. you were amazing tonight and I have never been more proud of my best friend.
Kisses,
Rachel
Kurt sighed and slumped forward. He looked at himself in the vanity mirror and realized Rachel was right. This was fucking stupid. He didn't need to feel sorry for himself. So what if Dave didn't want him? There were other guys in New York City. Hot guys, who had asked him out over the past few months. And a really hot understudy, who flirted with him every time they were in the room together.
So he got up and found his director, who gave him Jeff's number.
An hour later he was having drinks with Jeff, which led to fucking amazing sex and a hot shower, which was followed by breakfast.
Jeff was hilarious and hot and the best part, he got Kurt.
A week later, Kurt was feeling much better about everything, the situation with Dave, and his new relationship or whatever it was, and he decided it was time to go back in public.
So he called up Jeff and got a reservation at the barbecue restaurant from months earlier and he enjoyed a fabulous date with fantastic company.
He was so engrossed in his conversation with Jeff about whether or not a book series they were both reading could ever be made into a theater production or movie that he didn't notice Rachel, Brody, Dave, and Mac walk in.
Rachel made sure that she stopped over at his table.
Kurt groaned and turned to face the contingent heading his way.
Kurt apologized to Jeff and said that his friends were on their way over.
Jeff just smiled and stood when they reached the table.
Rachel stepped forward and grinned,
"Hi! I'm Rachel, Kurt's best friend. You must be Jeff!"
"Hi, Rachel. It's nice to meet you."
"I'm so sorry if we interrupted your date."
Kurt just gritted his teeth and smiled,
"It's fine, Rachel. Jeff, this is Brody, Rachel's boyfriend, and this is Dave and his boyfriend Mac."
"Nice to meet you all."
Dave barely acknowledged Kurt or Dave, which irritated Kurt.
Dave shuffled his feet clearly in a hurry to get out of there.
Kurt turned back to Rachel and Jeff who were talking as if they had been friends their entire life.
Fucking great.
Jeff turned to Kurt and then told the group that they should just join them for dinner and make it a group outing.
Kurt wanted to throw a temper tantrum and tell Rachel to go away, but he smiled and ground his teeth tighter.
"Yeah, you should join us."
And then Brody and Rachel were getting the wait staff to bring a table and chairs for them.
And then Kurt was shuffled to the side and Dave was being forced into a chair beside him and Jeff was across the table.
And Kurt wanted to die.
Jeff seemed oblivious to it, and Rachel and Brody were far too preoccupied meeting the new guy in Kurt's life.
And the more Kurt thought about it, the more he relaxed.
Things weren't falling apart. Rachel and Brody were making an effort to meet Jeff and Jeff was sort of perfect for him.
So he smiled and took his boyfriend's hand and Rachel sighed dreamily, and they talked about how they got together and Kurt forgot about the situation with David and the awkwardness with Mac.
And even Mac seemed to be warming up to Kurt now that he wasn't trying to steal David away.
The only person not thrilled with the outcome of things was David, and Kurt didn't even want to try and figure out what his issue was.
The end of the dinner came and Kurt got up to use the restroom.
He squeezed Jeff's hand and dropped it and made his way through the tables to the bathroom.
As he was washing his hands, the door opened and David stepped in.
He shut the door and leaned against it.
"You and I need to have a talk."
Kurt dried his hands and threw away the paper towel.
"What do we have to talk about, David?"
"I just want to know what this whole thing is."
"What whole thing?"
"This thing with Jeff, Kurt. Don't you think you're moving a little fast?"
"What the hell are you talking about? Fast? We're on our first actual date, which you ruined by showing up and spending with us."
"Still, Kurt. It's only been like a few weeks since you claimed to be so in love with me, and you turn around and sleep with the first available guy? I have to question whether or not you meant of what you said."
Kurt was getting livid at this point.
He was actually shocked at what David was saying to him, especially after their last conversation outside the concert.
"Seriously? You're going to come in and tell me I'm moving too fast with my new boyfriend, after you told me you didn't want me to love you and that you wanted to be with someone else? What the fuck do you want from me? You don't get to tell me that you want nothing to do with me and then turn around and yell at me when I move on with someone else. And you have no fucking clue about my relationship with Jeff. He's sweet and kind and he treats me well. We get along and I don't have to second-guess my feelings when I'm with him. He actually does want to be with me."
"I never fucking said you couldn't move on, Kurt. I just don't understand what you see in him."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"I mean, he's nothing like me at all."
"And you think you're the only guy I could possibly ever want?"
"No, but I figure you'd at least go for someone who wasn't a replica of you."
"I don't even know what that means."
"He's not your type, Kurt."
"And how would you know?"
"Because I have known you since high school. You have a type. I believe your crushes on Finn, Sam, and me would be an indication of what that is."
"And there was also Blaine, Adam, and now Jeff, or did you just conveniently forget them because they didn't fit into your stereotype for me?"
"Fine, whatever, but even you have to admit that it's a little fast."
"A little fast? It's been almost two fucking months, Dave and before that it was even longer. Adam fucking left me, because of you. And you claim it's too fast? No. You don't get to tell me what too fast is. The day you told me you thought my love was worthless and unacceptable was the day you lost any right to give me advice on anything ever again. We are not friends, David, or did you forget that conveniently too?"
"You may not be my friend, but I am still yours and I do care about you. I just don't want you rushing into a relationship that isn't going to work."
"And you know this how?"
"I mean you are basically dating someone who is exactly like you so that you don't get hurt. Real love is not like that and you should know it."
"Real love? You're going to lecture me on real love now. Yeah, okay. Real love, something you clearly know so much about. Is that why you're dating a version of me as well? I mean really, Dave, Mac is basically me, but meaner and richer."
"Mac and you are nothing alike."
"Really? Does he bitch at your clothing and hair? Does he make you eat better? Does he pick up after you and make sure you don't fall asleep at your computer? Does he bring you lunch at the library when you're working, because you sometimes forget to eat?"
"I don't know, maybe. Okay, fine, yeah he does. What does that have to do with anything?"
"He's doing all the things I did before you started dating, Dave. So you're really going to stand there and tell me you're not trying to replace me with someone else, because you're afraid? I know you're afraid. I know you think I'm going to hurt you, or I already have and that's why you never gave me a chance, but I'm not going to dwell on it anymore. Whether or not you like it, I'm seeing Jeff now and I do like him a lot. You need to get over your jealousy and just let me be happy, like I'm fucking trying to do for you."
"I'm not fucking jealous, Kurt."
"Okay fine, you're not fucking jealous. And I'm not having this conversation with you anymore."
Kurt heard Dave whine in frustration, and then he was being kissed again, and Kurt responded immediately, even though he wanted to resist.
His head finally won out and he pushed Dave away.
"You have to stop fucking doing that, David."
"I know, but I can't help it."
"Well try harder, because this is not fair to me or to Jeff or to Mac. You know that if you kiss me, I'm going to kiss you back and that I still have feelings for you, but unless you're going to change your mind and decide that you should be with me, I don't want you giving me mixed signals and telling me one thing and then kissing me like that."
"Kurt, I'm sorry."
Kurt had tears in his eyes. He was so frustrated and honestly mad at Dave in that moment.
"Stop fucking saying that to me. You are not sorry. You are confused, which I get, but stop treating me like I'm worthless and that it's okay to jerk me around. It's not. Decide what the fuck it is you want, and go for it. If it's Mac, then marry him, but if it's me, you better fucking make sure, because I am not doing this anymore. I've told you before and I'll say it again. I don't want to be your friend, David. It hurts too fucking much. So please, I'm begging you, just leave me alone."
Kurt could see that his tears were mirrored in David's eyes and he just wanted to kiss him again and forget about Jeff and Mac and the rest of the world, but he wasn't going to give David the satisfaction of thinking it was okay to treat him like that.
He walked back to the table and asked Jeff if he was ready to go.
Rachel looked at Kurt and stood up.
"Do you mind if I steal your boyfriend before you go, Jeff? I need to talk to him about an audition I have coming up."
Jeff just smiled and nodded and went back to talking to Mac about his favorite composers and pianists.
Rachel pulled him into the lobby.
"What happened in there?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean David followed you in and then you stayed in there for a good ten minutes and Dave is still not out, and you look on the verge of tears."
"Nothing. We argued again, he told me I was moving too fast with Jeff and then he kissed me again."
"What do you mean again?"
"I mean he kissed me outside the John Mayer concert and again tonight, and both times it was a mistake. I really do not understand what is going on his head, but I'm tired of being treated like I am just someone he can toy with and push around because he's confused."
"Kurt, I know this is asking a lot, but you have to be patient. Dave is confused and scared. He just needs someone to fight for him and let him know that the risk and pain will be worth it."
"Wait, what? You told me to get laid! So I did. And now I'm just supposed to dump Jeff and fight for a man who keeps telling me he doesn't want my love? I'm not fucking doing that, Rachel."
"You weren't supposed to date him in the first place! You were supposed to have sex, not bring the guy home with you!
Rachel stamped her foot and threw her hands up in the air.
"You two are impossible. Fine, whatever, date Jeff. By the way, I do like him, but I think you know that I'm on Team Kurt and David."
"And I'm on the Team whichever gets me laid."
"You're disgusting."
"You would be too if it had been as long as it was before Jeff, trust me."
Rachel just rolled her eyes and led him back to the table.
David was back by then, but refused to look at David as he and Jeff said their goodbyes.
On the cab ride back to his apartment, Jeff asked him who David really was.
Kurt sighed and prepared himself for the impending conversation.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, who is David really? To you?"
"He's an acquaintance, I guess."
"When did you break up?"
"We were never together."
"But you were in love with him at some point?"
"Yes."
"And you don't love him now?"
"I think I'll always be a little in love with him, but right now I cannot fucking stand him and would rather talk about anything other than David."
Jeff smiled and grabbed Kurt's hand again and kissed him.
Kurt tensed, as his mind immediately went to the kiss he had shared with Dave just a half hour prior. He couldn't help but compare them, and of course Dave was better. He forced himself to focus on Jeff and kiss him back, even though he knew deep down his heart wasn't truly into it. But it was better than the alternative of crying himself to sleep every night, knowing the one person he loved wanted nothing to do with him.