Kurt offered David something to drink but David declined.
They at on the sofa for a few minutes in silence. It was pure agony for Kurt.
Finally Dave turned to Kurt. Kurt was shocked to see how sad and upset he looked.
"What's going on, David?"
"First of all, I just want to let you know that I am an idiot."
"Okay?"
"And secondly, I'm sorry."
"Again, okay? I'm seriously confused about what you're doing in my living room when just this morning you told Rachel you'd rather spend a day being tortured than have a breakfast that I was at."
"Kurt, it was nothing like that I swear. I didn't tell Rachel no because of I hate you."
"Well, I'm sorry that I don't know where we stand or how you feel about me, considering you never actually talk to me. When is the last time you actually called me, Skyped me, emailed, or even attempted to make any sort of contact? The only things I know about you is from what Rachel tells me."
"It was too hard, Kurt, okay? I was trying to save my marriage and being around you made it next to impossible."
"What the hell are you talking about? You have been married for two years and happily I might add."
"Yeah, because that's what Rachel told you. It's true that we've been married for two years, but it hasn't been happy. In fact, the day that I married Jamie, I still felt like I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Looking back, I definitely did. I should have let it end the day you and I got married. I should have listened to my heart. But most of all, I should have stayed married to you, for real."
"You have got to be fucking kidding me right now."
"What?"
"You are such a fucking asshole. Let me get this straight, you are having problems in your marriage and you come running back to me and tell me how much you want me, when before it was how I ruined your life and how much you wanted him. No. You don't get to show up after four years and tell me that now I'm the one you want and that you regret your actions back then only when your marriage is falling apart."
Dave's face fell at that.
"That's not true, Kurt. I have always loved you. Even when we fought and we stopped talking, even then I have loved you. I told you three times that I was in love with you in my life. The first was when you told me how much you wanted Blaine, the second was when you told me how much you wanted Jeff, and now, I'm telling you again. You can tell me about some other guy you are now with and love, but I'm tired of this. It's always back and forth and terrible timing. My only hope is that you are now single and still love me."
"You seriously think I have sat around for two years waiting on you when you were married? What the hell is wrong with you!?"
"No, Kurt. I didn't think you sat around and waited for me. I knew about Frederick. I also know you dumped him, because you loved me."
"I'm going to fucking kill, Rachel."
"Don't blame her, Kurt. She has tried for years to get us to just talk and work our shit out. Most of the time I ignored her because I was mad at you and terrified that you would always see me as the loser from high school."
"What?!" No. Stop using me as an excuse for you being afraid to commit. I mean, fine, so I went out with Blaine in high school and I was with Jeff and Frederick, but the other times, have been about you! I have been waiting for you, okay? I'll admit it. But now I'm terrified that this is going to be fake and that a few weeks down the road, you're going to find someone else and be convinced that he is the new love of your life and will decide you need to marry him."
"First of all, Kurt, I know it seems like I'm Ross from Friends, but I wasn't planning marrying you. It happened and I regret that I hurt you with the friends with benefits situation. All I can say is that if you give me another chance, a real chance to be with you, I'm not going to be marrying anyone else."
"Why the sudden change of heart? I mean I know that Jamie left you, so if you tell me that you're just lonely or something like that I will fucking castrate you."
"Jamie didn't leave me, Kurt."
"What?"
"Jamie wanted to make it work. He wanted me to stay in Chicago and be happy living in a pretty much sexless and loveless marriage. Jamie's benefits, charities, and work are the most important thing in his life, even more than I was. I got fed up and left him. I moved back to New York because I miss it and I miss you. I miss you more than anything else in my life, Kurt. I miss you more than I miss my dad."
"You left Jamie and moved back to New York for me?"
"Yes. I don't even care if you turn me down and tell me that I have no shot of being with you again. I still had to do it. I had to take the chance, because I would spend the rest of my life wondering what my life could have been like if I had stayed married to you, if I had the courage to tell you that I loved you too when I was with Mac. I regret so much about these past five years. You realize we wasted five years, right?"
"It feels like longer, honestly."
"I'm sorry for that, Kurt."
"I know that you feel like apologizing to me is the right thing to do, but honestly, you have hurt me worse than anyone has ever hurt me in my life. Each time I think, maybe this time will be different and it never is. I fall in love with you, I give my heart to you and rip it to shreds and throw it back in my face and I just cannot do it again. I'm sorry too, David. Honestly, I am, but my answer is still no."
Dave and Kurt were both openly crying at that point. Dave stood up and left the apartment.