He had decided to go back to Hogwarts, yes, but that didn't mean he had to be happy about it. The only reason he was going back was to get away from his parents; he couldn't handle living in a house with them any longer. Half of the time they were apologizing for getting him involved with Voldemort; the other half they were complaining because he hadn't come to them quick enough in the battle. He hadn't even wanted to go join them; he hadn't wanted to go to Voldemort's side. But he knew that he wouldn't have a place with anyone from Hogwarts, so he hadn't had much of a choice.
He wasn't thrilled about anything to do with Hogwarts though. Draco was only going back, he knew, so he could finish schooling and then get a career. He wouldn't make any attachments to anyone new; making friends had not led him to anywhere good. Vincent, Gregory, Pansy, and Blaise had always been more in to the whole Death Eater thing than he had been himself, and he didn't want to get into another bad friendship. At least Blaise, Pansy, and Gregory weren't coming back to Hogwarts with him; he could avoid them because of that. He didn't have to avoid Vincent though; he'd died in the battle. Draco no longer had to worry about him, and he didn't like to admit how thankful he was for that. This year was going to be different though; he wouldn't allow himself any friends so he could focus on school. It felt like a good solution to his problem.
His only issue was the silly program that McGonagall had started up. The Delegates, she called it; representatives from each house who would do things Draco wasn't interested in. He had no idea why the old witch had picked him as Slytherin's representative, maybe because he was one of the only seventh years to be returning to Slytherin house? Draco didn't know; he didn't really care either. The only part about the whole delegate thing he was excited about was the fact that he would get his own room. He'd always hated having to share a room with other people; he'd never gotten used to it. Having his own room would help him too, because it would allow him to avoid others.
Draco wasn't happy about being on the platform to the train again, and he ignored his parents as they tried to tell him to behave. They didn't have the right to tell him that; they'd never behaved while at school. They'd gotten involved in the Dark Arts and that was the reason Draco had gotten dragged into it. He wished, sometimes, that his parents had never met so he never would have been born; that way he couldn't have hurt anyone. It was a silly thing to wish though; he knew it would never come true.
The dirty looks he got felt unnatural to him; usually he was the one giving people those kinds of looks; not the other way around. He knew it was because he wasn't dead or in Azkaban though; most people wanted all Death Eaters to be in one of those places. He ignored them to the best of his ability, allowing his mother to give him a small hug before he boarded the train. He would be sitting by himself this year; he didn't want to sit by anyone else. Besides, Draco thought that if he did sit with someone else, they'd tell him how guilty he should be and how horrible of a person he should be; he already felt guilty and he already knew he was a bad person.
He was lucky though; no one tried to sit by him as the train became full. He was happy to see students walk past his compartment without even trying to go in. Draco settled into his seat with one of the textbooks he'd bought, as he didn't have anything else to do. He didn't have anyone to talk to like he did in the past years, which meant no silly conversations on how he would finally beat Potter in quidditch or how they would all find some way to humiliate Granger, Weasley, Potter, or any of the Hufflepuffs. Draco and Pansy had always been the ones keen on humiliating Granger; Pansy didn't like her because Granger never reacted the way Pansy wanted her to. Draco had gotten sick of her beating him on every assignment or test; that had been his reason.
The textbook was not an interesting read, in Draco's opinion, but it lasted him the entire train ride. He didn't really mind spending the trip with a book; it kept his mind away from his guilt over everything that had happened. It made him happy not to have to think about it for once; usually it would be on his mind all the time. He was hoping that his thoughts would begin to shift back to normal things during the school year, because he would have other things to worry about. He would have assignments to do and spells to perfect and whatever this Delegate business had him doing. He wouldn't spend too much time worrying about that last part, because he didn't really care about it too much.
He ended up in a carriage with two Ravenclaws who treated him as if he were invisible. Again Draco didn't mind; being ignored was a good thing. It was better than the dirty looks, anyway, so he didn't say anything. He just sat in the seat by the door stiffly, waiting for the moment when the carriage stopped and he could jump out. He could have done without the Welcoming Feast this year, though he didn't have much of a choice. He was supposed to find McGonagall after the feast so she could show him and the other delegates to their new quarters. In all honesty he didn't know who the others were, he just knew that there was going to be one from each house. All he could hope for was that it wasn't Weasley or Potter from Gryffindor. He didn't really want it to be Granger either, but at least she would be better than her two best friends.
The Great Hall was decorated beautifully; banners for each of the houses were hanging on the walls and the night sky, or rather a replica of it, was clear. The stars were shining brightly and twinkling, something Draco normally wouldn't have noticed that but it caught his eye that night. He ignored the other students, as he planned, and sat down at the far end of the Slytherin table, as far away from the teacher's table as he could get. He had a feeling they wouldn't be happy with him after everything that had happened, so if he could avoid them as much as possible that would be nice. It would be hard though, because he would be in many of their classes.
Once the hall had filled up, the first years marched in. Draco couldn't believe how small they looked to him; he felt too old to be in the castle. It was technically his eighth year; he felt huge compared to the eleven year olds. He watched the sorting, mildly interested, though he noticed that not many looked happy to be sorted into Slytherin. That was something he'd bring up to McGonagall the first chance he got; not all Slytherins were bad. There were some that were good people; Slytherin house only got a bad reputation because most of the Death Eaters and Voldemort himself had come from it. Draco knew that he was one of the Death Eaters though; he was not one of the good people. Which was unfortunate, for him at least.
Draco didn't eat much, as the angry stares he could feel on the back of his head made his appetite disappear. Mostly he just picked at some potatoes, which he didn't want in the first place. It was just the closest thing to him and he knew that others wouldn't pass him anything. Even the other Slytherins were glaring at him and Draco had been half sure that they might at least be willing to tolerate him. He chose not to care too much about that though, because of his promise not to make any friends during the year.
He knew how odd it was not to hear Dumbledore's few odd remarks before the end of the feast, though he assumed that whatever McGonagall had to say would be better than what Snape said last year. But not even having Snape as a professor would be odd as well. He'd grown used to being the man's favorite; he'd grown used to having at least one professor that didn't think that Granger and Potter were two of the best people in the world. He wished that he'd appreciated Snape more when he was alive; the man had cared for him, probably more than anyone else had in his life. He may be smart, but he obviously wasn't smart enough to notice that part.
"Welcome," Professor McGonagall said, standing up at the center of the staff table and offering the hall a small smile. "Welcome to our new first years and to everyone else, welcome back," So far she sounded like Dumbledore had, though he had a feeling she would be a bit more focused on the important things than he was. "I understand that returning to the castle will be hard for some of you-" He tuned her out for a moment, scanning the faces in the hall. Most looked calm and prepared to face the year stoically, though his eyes quickly became stuck on Granger. He tried to tear his gaze away, but he couldn't help but notice that she looked pale and even sickly; he wasn't sure why that was. Draco could only hope that he didn't care. "A new program has been started, to promote house unity and the discourage the belief that certain houses are better than others. The delegates," she said proudly, her face determined as she gazed around the hall. "One person from each house has been selected; not only will they speak with each other about problems between the houses, they will also listen to any complaints that you have. I'm sure you can all imagine the reasons behind this new program," He could have sworn that her eyes had flickered to him for a moment, and Draco glanced down at his left arm, thinking of the mark that lay hidden under his school robes. "Now if the four could please stand, so every student knows who to go to,"
Draco hesitated for a moment, watching Terry Boot and Hannah Abbott rise proudly from the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. There was happy applause for them, for it was known that they had both fought in the battle and saved many. Draco didn't know why but his eyes flickered to Granger again; she was rubbing her face with her hands and standing up as well. There were much louder cheers when she stood up; Boot and Abbott may have been in the battle, but every person in the hall considered Granger to be a hero. They thought of Potter, Weasley, and Longbottom the same way. He should have realized that Granger would be Gryffindor's delegate; she was their best student. It was with a sigh that he stood as well.
Silence rushed through the hall; Draco wasn't sure he'd ever experienced something more awkward. "Him?" he heard people ask. "McGonagall picked him?" At the same time, "McGonagall must have lost it," could be heard as well. It was the best he could have hoped for; at least no one had-He heard clapping. Soft clapping that he didn't even know could be used when it was directed at him. Draco scanned the hall once more, looking for the source, and he nearly lost his composure when he saw that it was her. Granger was clapping for him and nodding at him slightly. He could see Weasley pulling on her arm to get her to stop, though she was glaring at him and trying to get her arm out of his grip. Draco caught her eye, feeling odd as he did so, and gave her a small nod in return. He sat down a second later and stared at the table. McGonagall had more to say though he once again didn't listen to her; he didn't find it necessary. At the end of the feast, when the prefects were showing students to their dormitories and the head boy and girl were hurrying up to talk to the professors, Draco found himself walking toward McGonagall along with Boot, Abbott, and Granger.
He listened without interest as McGonagall led them to a previously unused part of the castle; he didn't mind trailing behind the rest of the group. He was still trying to figure out exactly what had changed when it came to Granger; in the past she never would have even thought of clapping for him. They entered a decent sized room which McGonagall stated would be their shared common room, though Draco didn't feel he'd be spending much time in there. Most of his free time would be spent in his own room, the bathroom, or the library. There were four doors on the wall of the circular common room though, each with a name written on it. Boot's room was directly across from the door out to the corridor. To the left of his was Abbott's room; to the left of hers was Granger's, and his own was to the left of Granger's room. The doors were even painted the colors of their houses, as if McGonagall thought they would forget who's was who's despite the names on the doors.
McGonagall left them a few moments later, leaving the four standing in the common room awkwardly. It wasn't as if they were the best of friends, though if Draco were to guess he would have Boot, Abbott, and Granger all becoming closer while he just minded his own business. "So," Abbott said quietly, trying to break the ice. "Did you all have a good summer?"
"Mine wasn't too bad," Boot said, answering her quickly. "It was a lot better without the threat of Voldemort over my head. I'm sure you can understand what that's like, can't you Hermione?"
Draco turned his eyes to her once more, only to see her looking confused. He'd never really seen that expression on her before and he wasn't sure if he liked it either. "Oh, I-I suppose," she said, nodding. Granger glanced at him and he noticed that her eyes were slightly red. It was curiosity that drove him to wonder why that was, though he knew he would never ask her. "And yours, D-Malfoy?" she asked. He noted her slip up; she'd almost started to say his name, but he wouldn't make a big deal of it.
"And my what?" he asked coldly, for some reason wishing that he could be a bit nicer to her.
Boot rolled his eyes. "This is useless," he muttered. "You're not going to get anywhere with him, Hermione; you might as well give up," Granger's eyes narrowed slightly as Boot pulled Abbott over to the sofas in the middle of the room.
"Your summer, Malfoy; was your summer good?" she asked, her voice oddly tired.
"And you care because?"
"I-I was just trying to be polite-"
"Like you were with the clapping back there?" he asked, glaring at her. "Well I don't need you to be polite to me Granger; just because we're both in this stupid group doesn't mean we have to get along,"
"Well fine then," she said, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at him. "I wasn't doing it to please myself; my parents-" She stopped suddenly, for a reason unknown to Draco, and turned her attention to Boot and Abbott. "I'm going to bed; I'll see you in the morning, Terry, Hannah," she said, giving them both a wave. The two nodded and waved back and Granger hurried into her room, shutting the door firmly behind her. Boot and Abbott paid him no attention so he went to his own room and shut the door behind him with a sigh. He locked it quickly before walking over to the window and glaring at the Forbidden Forest. He hoped that Granger would go back to ignoring and hating him; it would make the year a lot easier.