It was yet another awkward dinner with Ron, Harry, and Ginny and Hermione only wished she could go back to her common room. She'd avoided going back there for the rest of the day after her odd encounter with Malfoy, but she knew he wasn't there now. She could see him, sitting at the Slytherin table by himself, just staring at his plate. He must have felt her gaze though, because he looked up. For a second their eyes met and he gave her a questioning look, but then his gaze when back to his plate. She couldn't believe how similar she felt to him in that moment. They were both two relatively miserable people with no escape. They were both alone-Well technically Hermione was surrounded by friends, but she felt alone. There was no one really asking if they were okay.
"Hermione?" Harry asked. He was still irritated with her for being rude to him the previous week, but Hermione didn't really care. She was irritated with him for not realizing that there was something wrong with her. They were supposed to be best friends; best friends were supposed to notice when the other was falling apart. "What are you staring at?"
"I'm not staring at anything," she denied, frowning. "Why?"
He shrugged, a frown etched into his face as well. "It just looked like you were; no reason,"
"She was probably looking at Malfoy," Ron said angrily. "Was the slimy git looking at you too?" It was probably the roll of her eyes, she realized, that sent Ron over the edge. He glared at her, suddenly furious, and all Hermione wanted to do was disappear. She didn't want to fight with him, not tonight; not when the hall was darkening before her eyes and she was beginning to see lined up bodies instead of tables. Everyone she loved was laying there and while she knew it wasn't real, her heart began to beat faster and she could tell that she was getting pale. And then, "Come on," Ron muttered, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the Gryffindor table.
"Ron, I-I need to go," Hermione said, her eyes slightly wide.
"Oh you're fine," Ron said, leading her toward the Slytherins. They stopped by Malfoy, who fixed his icy gaze on her instead of Ron.
"What do you want, Weasley?" he asked, his eyes still glued on her.
"What I want is for you to stop staring at my girlfriend," Ron said angrily. Hermione stared at Malfoy even as he shifted his gaze toward Ron. But looking at Malfoy was keeping her anchored; it was keeping her from looking around the great hall and seeing a bunch of dead people. She focused in on his eyes, wondering if she would end up seeing nothing but their icy color if she looked long enough.
"I'm not staring at her, Weasley; you're imagining things," Malfoy said, rolling his eyes. "And if you really want someone to quit staring, maybe it should be her,"
Ron glared at him before pulling Hermione in for another sloppy kiss. She hated that he only wanted something to do with her when Malfoy was involved. She hated that their relationship only ever had a spark when Ron was trying to prove a point to a boy they'd both disliked since the first year. Hermione blinked and squirmed, pushing him away as the great hall scene from the battle melted away. He looked both hurt and angry with her, but Hermione was sick of his behavior. "Don't, Ron; not to prove a point to him. Just go sit down; I have somewhere to be,"
"Hermione-" Ron tried, sounding like he might care for the first time since the battle. Malfoy stood up and walked out of the great hall.
"Just leave me alone," she muttered, shoving past him and out of the great hall herself.
She walked a few paces, tears threating to spill down her cheeks, half because she was so frustrated and half because she was shaken by her most recent hallucination. "What the hell was that about?" Malfoy asked, walking up behind her. He must have waited for her outside the hall; he was probably looking for answers about Ron's behavior, though she couldn't really tell him anything because she couldn't speak for him.
"It was nothing; I'm sorry,"
"Obviously it's something, Granger. I don't want your boyfriend coming up to me, and I don't like seeing you all afraid and being dragged around by him. And what was with that anyway?"
"Please, just stop talking," Hermione pleaded.
They walked into a side corridor in silence; Malfoy placed a tentative hand on her shoulder, making Hermione turn around and face him. It was the first time, she realized, that Draco Malfoy had looked at her with a slightly concerned expression. And it was the first time he'd ever willingly touched her; she'd always assumed he was too disgusted by her to lay a hand on her. And so she just stared at him in surprise. "Did it happen again, Granger," he asked quietly, obviously wanting to keep the matter quiet despite the corridor being empty. "Were you back in the battle?"
"Yes," she muttered, nodding. Her eyes narrowed as she took a step away from Malfoy. "I don't need to hear you call me crazy like you did last time,"
He frowned at her, folding his arms across his chest and smirking slightly. "Well if you are..."
Hermione rolled her eyes and took another step away. "Just leave me alone, Malfoy, will you? I don't really need this right now,"
He took a step toward her, his smirk disappearing. He looked different, with the smirk gone and what could qualify as an apologetic expression. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it again, frowning slightly. "Seeing you kiss Weasley is disgusting; if you could stop doing it in front of me that would be great," And with that he turned and walked away, leaving Hermione just as confused as she had been during their Arithmancy lesson earlier that day.
She'd lied to Ron though; she didn't have anywhere to be for another hour. She didn't want to go back to her common room, as she was worried that Malfoy would be there, and she couldn't go to the Gryffindor common room, as she didn't know the password, and for once she didn't want to go to the library. Wandering around the castle didn't seem like a good idea; there were too many memories in the corridors from the battle that Hermione was afraid of exploring. She sat down against the wall in the corridor, placing her head in her hands and sighing heavily.
Hermione was absolutely miserable; there was no denying that. She missed her parents and she wanted them back. She missed actually hanging out with just Harry; now it was Harry and Ginny and while she adored Ginny and she'd had plenty of time with Harry while horcrux hunting, she still missed him. And more than anything, she knew, she missed Ron. She missed the goofy boy she'd fallen for and she was sick of the angry boy that had taken his place. She missed a good night of sleep too, but that was another story. She was miserable, full of longing, and her dreams of what could have been with Ron were quickly falling away.
After a moment, though, she began to feel a bit better, because Neville had just walked up to her. "You all right, Hermione?" he asked, kneeling next to her. "You look, well, upset about something,"
Hermione looked at him; she loved that Neville could be so kind and clueless at the same time. She contemplated talking to him, but decided against it because her parents and Harry were the only ones she'd ever really felt comfortable talking to. "I'm all right, Neville. Thanks,"
Neville offered her a small smile, one that Hermione had seen many times over the course of their years at Hogwarts. She's always liked Neville; he was kind and he was helpful. Not to mention he'd been one of two people to actually want to take her to the Yule Ball in fourth year, before she'd tried to improve her appearance. "If you're sure," he said. "I should go find Luna though. I promised I'd help her feed the thestrals in the forest,"
"Tell her I say hello," Hermione said, offering him a weak smile.
Neville nodded and stood up, frowning slightly at her. "You could tell her yourself," he said, holding out a hand to her. Hermione hesitated before taking it; she had absolutely nothing better to do and she liked Neville and Luna. She got another smile as he pulled her off the ground and released her hand. "I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you,"
"I do hope so," Hermione said, following him toward the front of the castle and onto the grounds. "I'd hate to intrude,"
"No, you're fine," Neville said, shrugging as he looked at the forest. "Everyone missed you last year, you know. I've always liked your help in the classes we have together. It's not as many now because you're in all the classes only brilliant people can take-"
Hermione chuckled softly and shook her head. "That's not it, Neville. You're brilliant too, in your own way. Everyone was looking up to you last year, or so I've heard,"
His face went slightly pink which made Hermione smile slightly; she wasn't sure exactly what it was about Neville but he was making her feel a lot better. He was kind and he'd asked if she was okay; that was probably most of it.
"Coming from you, Hermione, that means a lot,"
They walked into the forest after the exchange, Hermione's eyes watching birds fly overhead as Neville led her to where he'd agreed to meet Luna. She almost felt bad for coming with him, as she was sure Neville had feelings for Luna, but she was too unsure of what else to do that she'd agreed without a thought. Hermione folded her arms across her chest, absentmindedly tapping her fingers against her arm as they entered a clearing. She shivered slightly, wondering if this was the clearing where Harry had faced off against Voldemort, where he'd survived the Killing Curse for the second time, where she was sure the outcome of the war had been determined. But she couldn't be sure; not without Harry with her and she wasn't sure she even wanted to know. For all she knew she could be standing on the spot where the most evil man on the face of the earth had tried to kill her best friend, for the second time. "Hello Neville-Oh, and you brought Hermione, that's nice," Luna said, walking over to them. She smiled at Hermione before looking off at the sky with a dreamy expression.
"I didn't think you'd mind," Neville said, looking at the sky as well. Neville leaned over and whispered something to Luna that Hermione didn't catch, but she could tell by the other girl's glance that it was about her. Hermione turned her attention to looking at the forest surrounding her. She knew the general appearance of thestrals, as she was sure she'd seen a few flying over the grounds after the battle, but she hadn't gone looking for them before. It took a few quiet minutes with Neville and Luna occasionally speaking to one another before a thestral came carefully into the clearing. Luna glanced at it and smiled, putting a hand into her bad and pulling out a raw piece of meat. Hermione's nose wrinkled slightly at the sight; she'd never been a fan of seeing raw meat. When she was younger she couldn't even be in the kitchen if her parents were preparing something with meat. But she watched the thestral, half wishing she couldn't see it but glad that she was at least able to say that she could understand what was so fascinating about the creatures.
Eventually Neville started up a conversation with Hermione, talking to her about how he was bothered by many dirty looks the young Slytherin students were getting, and she couldn't help but agree. She was irritated herself that many Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors blamed all Slytherins for the war when it definitely wasn't their fault. Especially not the youngest kids; they were pushed out of the castle like the younger members of every other house. They must have talked for a while as Luna fed different thestrals that came up to her, and they really only seemed to like Luna, before the sky began to grow dark. She glanced at the small watch on her wrist and groaned quietly, I'm so sorry," she said quickly. "I have to go; there's a meeting with Professor McGonagall for the delegates; I'll talk to her about the Slytherin issue. And thank you for inviting me to join you; it was very kind,"
With that she hurried away, trying to follow the path Neville had brought her on. She was already late for the meeting and she felt bad about that, but Neville had distracted her. She felt better with him, probably because he didn't come with the reminders that Ron did. Hermione finally ran out of the forest, knowing that she probably had a twig or two in her hair because she'd nearly run into a tree twice, but she didn't really care. Her appearance was not her biggest concern at the moment, no, she was concerned about being late. And for a fleeting moment all she could think was What will Malfoy say? but why she cared about that was beyond her.
Hermione ran into the castle, past a few students who gave her curious looks, and to Professor McGonagall's office, which had been Dumbledore's for most of her time at Hogwarts. She breathed out the password, clutching a stitch in her side, and hurried up the stairs before knocking on the door. It was Hannah who pulled the door open and offered her a confused smile. "You're late," she said, stating the obvious in a way that annoyed Hermione slightly.
"I know, I'm sorry," she said, hurrying past Hannah and into the room. There were two open chairs in front of Professor McGonagall's desk and Hermione felt all eyes on her as she approached the seat by Malfoy. She was sure she only picked it because she was sure Hannah would never sit there; Hannah could hardly stand Malfoy.
"Thank you for joining us, Miss Granger," McGonagall said, giving her a slightly disapproving look. Hermione blushed guiltily; she hated letting the older witch down. "Mr. Boot, if you would continue what you were saying?"
Hermione sat back in her chair, crossing her legs and looking at Terry with what she hoped looked like an interested expression. Really she didn't care about what Terry was saying; he wanted to start a group that talked about all of the good aspects of each house and be supportive of each other. It sounded like a good idea, though it was never something Hermione would go to, but that was when Malfoy choose to lean over to her. "You've got branches in your hair, Granger," he said quietly, eyeing McGonagall like he was hoping she wouldn't notice their conversation.
"Why are you looking at my hair, Malfoy?" she challenged, not looking at him. He'd almost been kind, earlier, but she felt irritated now. She was thinking of Ron's behavior, being late, and how tired she was beginning to feel.
"Why do you have branches in it?"
"I was in the forest,"
"That's against the rules,"
"So?"
"So why are you breaking the rules?"
"Because I felt like it; now will you stop talking?"
"No,"
Hermione turned her head a fraction of an inch to glare at him; the smirk that she was met with made her feel even more frustrated. "Leave me alone,"
"Now why would I do that?"
"Because that would be the civil thing to do,"
"Since when have I ever been civil?"
"Oh, I don't know. You're the one who was all concerned earlier today,"
His face went a light shade of pink, Hermione could tell, and she bit back a triumphant grin. "That was not concern; that was-that was curiosity,"
"Sure it was, Malfoy,"
"Oh shut it Granger,"
"Gladly,"
"Miss Granger? Is there anything you would like to add? Any ideas on how to keep the houses unified?"
"Oh, well..." Hermione started, feeling a bit shaken from what had been a slightly amusing exchange with Malfoy. She launched into her conversation with Neville, leaving out the part about them being in the forest, but McGonagall seemed upset by the news. She must not have noticed it as much as Hermione had.
"Anything to add, Mr. Malfoy?"
"What?"
"Is there anything you would like to add?" she repeated.
Malfoy looked at everyone else in the room, his eyes lingering on Hermione for a second longer than necessary. "As the worst Slytherin in the school," he started, frowning. Hermione noticed him rub his left forearm, and she remembered that he had the Dark Mark on his arm. It was odd to think about, but they were both scarred with a mark Hermione knew she didn't want, and she assumed Malfoy didn't want his either. "I think the others should just suck it up and deal with the glares. It's not like they're being killed by them," And with that Malfoy stood up and walked out the door, but she was incredibly sad to see how ashamed he looked.