Hermione could do nothing but stare at Malfoy as he stared at her. He was quite obviously trying to keep his expression uncaring, but Hermione had seen the subtle changes in it that helped her understand a little of what he was thinking. She'd been able to see his surprise, his confusion, his irritation, but the last change had left Hermione clueless. His expression was something that almost resembled concern, but she knew he wouldn't be concerned about her. Maybe she told him that he cared every now and then, when he acted like he did, but she knew that was just to irritate him. The silence grew heavy as they just kept staring at one another, Hermione with her book clutched tightly to her chest and Malfoy with his arms folded. The silence was uncomfortable though, so Hermione shifted her weight and ended up sneezing. "What are you doing awake, Malfoy?" she asked, slightly curious.
He just kept staring and Hermione shifted uncomfortably. She hated his gaze; it was intense and penetrating and she knew that her gaze would never be the same. It was another few minutes filled with Hermione's quiet coughing and sneezing. And he just stared at her. Until finally, he asked, "Why did you scream?"
Hermione frowned; in a way it was an answer to her question but it definitely wasn't one she liked. "You heard that?" she asked. Her spells to keep sound from escaping her room seemed to have worn off quicker than she thought they would.
"Barely. But I did. And I know it was you, so don't try saying that it wasn't,"
"Well I'm sorry. I'll make sure that doesn't happen again,"
More silence followed her words and Malfoy's frown deepened. "Granger," he said quietly, as if he were afraid of waking up Terry and Hannah. "Why did you scream?"
She didn't want to explain to him her reason, not at all. No one knew about how little she slept or the nightmares she had each night, and that was for a reason. While she sometimes thought of what would happen if Harry or Ron found out, she knew she wouldn't tell them. And Malfoy, well, she wasn't sure if he would keep the secret. "No reason," she lied uneasily.
Malfoy's eyes narrowed. "Right. you just felt like screaming in the middle of the night," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "As if I'm actually going to believe that. I want the truth, Granger, now, and I want to know why I haven't really heard you before,"
Hermione hated, in that moment, that Malfoy was smart. If he wasn't then there could have been a chance that he would have just accepted her excuse. "Well it-" she paused and frowned, knowing that she had two options. Tell the truth or lie like a mad woman to make sure no one found out about her problems. She felt pathetic, in a way, and she definitely didn't want Malfoy to find out about that. "-It hasn't happened before Malfoy,"
"As if I'm actually going to believe that," he said, his face impassive instead of sneering or smirking like she expected. "I want a damn explanation, Granger, and I want it now,"
Hermione frowned and shook her head. "No, I don't have to tell you anything," she said, knowing that was true. She didn't owe Malfoy an explanation and she never would. Yes they'd agreed to be peaceful for the rest of the year but they weren't friends so she didn't owe him anything. "And I don't want to either,"
"Yes, you do," he said, making Hermione scowl. She was prepared to respond and probably end up saying something rude but Malfoy opened his mouth again. "Are you going to go to sleep again?" Hermione hesitated before shaking her head, and Malfoy swore quietly. "Tell me that this is just a one time thing, Granger, that this has never happened before,"
"It's never happened before," Hermione said, too eagerly for it to sound real. She wanted Malfoy to believe her even though if she were in his position, she never would. "It's just a one time thing-"
"So how long has it been happening?"
For a few seconds Hermione chose not to answer him. She hated that Malfoy was the one who was going to figure it out first. She hated that someone who didn't actually care was going to be the first who would understand her problems. "A while," she said quietly, shrugging.
"Granger I swear-"
"Ever since the battle, Malfoy. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?"
He scowled now. "No I'm not happy," he muttered. "So you've gotten a few hours of sleep for the past few months?"
"Well it's usually three or three and a half hours,"
"As if that makes it any better. This is why you always look so tired, isn't it,"
"You've-"
"Of course I've noticed, Granger. It's incredibly obvious," Hermione frowned; if it was obvious then she was sure someone else would have noticed. Or cared. Right? "You do realize that there are a bunch of different sleeping potions, right? Why haven't you tried one of those?"
"Do you really think I haven't? They don't work well, I don't know why,"
"Maybe you didn't brew them right-"
"Of course I did, Malfoy. I've always brewed potions correctly,"
"Well you know it can be kind of hard to do things right when you're running on three hours of sleep each day,"
"I brewed them right, Malfoy!"
"So I guess you've tried potions for that annoying cold of yours too?"
"Yes," Hermione muttered, frowning at him. "I'm sorry if it's bothering you-"
"It is," he said, sighing and walking over to sit in the chair. Hermione followed him, wondering if he would snap at her for doing so, but as she sat down on the sofa he didn't say a word. His frown was very deep and he wasn't looking at her, but that didn't surprise Hermione. "I'll look into finding stronger potions then,"
"You'll do what?" Hermione asked, surprised. Doing that implied caring, at least Hermione thought it did. For a moment she was tempted to tell him that he was once again acting like he cared, but she didn't want to irritate him. He was being nice and while he wasn't offering an explanation for his actions, Hermione appreciated them. "Why?"
"Well we did agree to keep peace, didn't we?"
"Yes, but that doesn't mean you-"
"To me it does," he said quietly, staring into the fire instead of meeting her gaze. "I believe I said I wanted an explanation, Granger,"
"But I already told you-"
"I gathered that you've woken up screaming every night since the battle. I gathered that you get three hours of sleep each night. What I want to hear is why,"
"Hermione watched him as he kept staring at everything in the room except for her. She wasn't thrilled to be looking at him either, as she really wanted to just open her book and forget that he knew, but for some reason she couldn't tear her gaze away. "It's... It's because of nightmares, Malfoy," she explained slowly. "About everything from the war and... Well, I suppose you understand?"
"So you're reliving things every night?"
"Kind of. Sometimes it's things that didn't happen with people that died, but those are just as bad,"
Malfoy didn't look at her or speak to her for a few minutes and Hermione pulled her knees to her chest and watched him. She didn't know what to think about the situation; she'd wanted someone to know, yes, but she'd always thought that no one would ever take notice. If she had thought to do the silencing spell again then she wouldn't have had to deal with Malfoy and the odd way he was acting. He had always been somewhat of a mystery to her, as he wasn't incredibly open, but he was beginning to confuse her even more. "Do Potter and Weasley know?"
"No,"
"Why?"
"They haven't noticed and I haven't said anything. The only reason I'm telling you is because I was stupid enough not to replace my silencing charm,"
Malfoy glanced at her then, a hint of a smirk on his face. "That's good for me then,"
"How so?"
"Because-" he paused, frowning as if he'd said something he didn't mean to. And Hermione guessed that he had, because she couldn't figure out why her not keeping it secret would be good for him. "Never mind, Granger," he said, frowning.
"Is there anything else you need to know? Because if not I'd really like to read my book. And you should go to bed,"
"You and your damn books. And are you seriously telling me to go to bed right now?" he asked, frowning at her. "That's not going to happen, Granger. If you're going to stay away then I will too,"
"But you need sleep-"
"And you don't?"
"But I've gotten used to it,"
"And I guess I will too,"
"Malfoy why are you-"
"Believe me, Granger, I don't know,"
The next six hours of Hermione's life were spent in near silence, which was usual for her in the mornings. Most of her attention was focused on her book which wasn't amazing, though every now and then she would glance at Malfoy because he yawned or moved suddenly. He ended up dozing off around three in the morning despite saying he would stay up with her. But Hermione didn't care about that, it was the gesture that mattered to her. He had tried to stay awake simply because she was and it's not like they were friends. They had only decided to get along hours before he'd heard her scream, he didn't have to stay with her.
For a moment she wondered if she should wake him up, as it was six in the morning and Hannah and Terry would be up soon, but he looked peaceful. Hermione had never seen him look that way before, so she left him there. He needed a little more peace in his life, Hermione thought, and she wanted the bathroom first anyway. She walked to her room and grabbed fresh robes and her towel before hurrying to the bathroom for her shower. She used the cold water again, hoping that would wake her up and make everything a little less blurry. Her vision wasn't unbearable but she definitely wasn't pleased with it. Hermione was sure it was because she'd spent so long staring at a book; it had happened to her once or twice before.
Malfoy was still asleep when she walked out to the common room, drying her hair with her towel, so she walked over to him and frowned slightly. "Come on, you should get up if you want to get ready before Terry and Hannah; they'll be up soon," she said, poking his shoulder so she wouldn't freak him out. He swatted her hand away and Hermione stepped back, surprised, but quickly realized that he was still asleep. "Malfoy, wake up," she said, shaking his shoulder. For a moment she could only think of having to do the same thing with Ron, but then cold grey eyes met hers and she sighed, stepping back again.
"Did I really-" he asked sleepily.
"You did," Hermione said, shrugging slightly. "But that doesn't matter. It was a lot to ask of you, st-"
"Granger you didn't ask me to do anything,"
"I know," she nodded. "So thank you for doing that, though you shouldn't do it again. You really do need a good night's sleep and besides-"
"I'll be the one to decide that," he said firmly, standing up and sighing as he folded his arms across his chest. "Are you-Are you feeling any better today? You know, with that whole annoying sneezing thing you're doing,"
"No, not really," Hermione said, staring at him with widened eyes. Had he really just asked if she was okay? Harry barely did that any more and now Malfoy was? "But thank you for asking,"
He shrugged and walked toward his bedroom without another word. Hermione went to her own room, putting her things away before leaving for the great hall. She didn't feel very hungry because she was getting nauseous again but going to the great hall would keep her mind occupied so she wouldn't have to think of anything serious. It was nearly empty when she got there which made her smile; if it was too loud Hermione was sure her head would start hurting. It also meant that she would get first pick of the small meal she wanted to have, which ended up being scrambled eggs that she liked. She picked at them for the most part, until Harry sat down across from her. She was surprised at that, mostly because they'd argued the previous day, and he was without Ron. "Morning, Hermione," he said, offering her a small smile and filling his plate.
"What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean why are you sitting by me? Shouldn't you be-"
"Well I was thinking about what you said-"
Hermione felt herself slowly turning red and she frowned. "Harry, I know that you're not going to like this, but I really don't want to talk to you right now,"
He looked slightly crestfallen, but irritated at the same time. "But I was trying to-"
"I know, and I appreciate it, but just give me a day or two, all right? I'll get over it,"
"And you'll forgive Ron too?"
"I didn't say anything about that,"
"But it's you and Ron, Hermione; you two, well, I just... I don't want whatever's happening between you two to effect our friendship okay? And I'm not talking about you and me, I'm talking about the three of us,"
With guilt weighing heavily on her mind, Hermione smiled slightly. She wasn't sure if she wanted to remain friends with Ron after what had happened, but she knew that she could be civil with Ron if she tried. "You've got nothing to worry about, Harry. Ron and I will find some way to make things work," Hermione would try, at least, she wasn't sure about Ron though.
Harry nodded and smiled back at her. "Okay, so I'll give you a few days. But then you'll have to help me a bit with my homework; it's been horrible with you not checking over it," Hermione chuckled softly but nodded; she didn't want to work on anyone else's homework but she'd always helped with Harry and Ron's and she would feel bad if they got horrible grades. Even if they deserved them.