HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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Disclaimer: Everything Harry Potterish belongs to J. K. Rowling. Treble Double You belongs to Genetic Island. Else is probably mine.

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The Founding of Pigwarts II – Cooking Chaos

Chapter 13: How To Steal Forbidden Forest

Perhaps angering a Giant was not the best idea, but Daphne couldn't care any less. She didn't give a damn whether Grawp was angry, or livid, or about to crush her in three and a half seconds, as long as he let her drag him away.

Which he didn't. And dragging away a Giant that doesn't want to come was too much even for Daphne, although she did try.

"Why, Grawp, baby? Why can't you come?" she pleaded, wondering whether a wheelbarrow would do her any good.

"Hagger told Grawp watch forest. Grawp watch forest till Hagger come back. Grawp good brother. Grawp no baby. Grawp big!"

"And heavy," she added, looking sadly at what had been such a pretty blue lawn cart before.

"But Grawp, darling, there is some forest there as well. You can watch that as much as you like."

"Hagger told Grawp watch this forest. Grawp watch this forest. Grawp go nowhere without this forest."

Daphne thought about it.

"But what if we take this forest with us?" she offered.

The Giant was silent for a long time.

"Grawp watch forest," he spoke at last. "Grawp go away. Forest go with Grawp. Grawp watch forest. Grawp take a tree. Little girl take a tree?"

"I like trees," Daphne smiled. "But it will take some time carrying all the trees there one by one. And you can't watch the forest while you are away."

"Grawp no leave. Grawp watch forest. Little girl take all trees?"

Daphne nodded very slowly and calculatingly.

"Yes, I think I will."

Waving bye-bye to Grawp, Daphne continued her way along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, stopping after every ten steps, shooting thin glowing orange sticks from the tip of her wand into the ground, and connecting them with a magical purple fiber.

"Much easier than carrying all the trees one by one," she spoke contentedly.

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"Hello, anybody home?" Ginny peaked into the empty room. The door had been locked, and this time really locked with a spell she couldn't break open, and didn't want to try either. But this time, she just happened to have a key.

"Oh brothers of mine, where areth thou?"

The only thing that greeted her was silence, and it wasn't even the we're-in-hiding-and-going-to-pour-you-over-with-some-smelly-goo kind of silence. This time it was the we're-somewhere-else-doing-something-better type of silence.

Closing the door behind her, Ginny walked past the shelves. Usually for the oh brothers of her, 'doing something better somewhere else' meant blowing things up in the back rooms.

He was so quiet and imperceptible that hadn't he spoken out, she would have never noticed him there.

"What can I do for you, Miss?" a tired voice asked her politely. "Perhaps you would be interested in our newest product – Treble Double You? Perfect solution for busy days, you will be able to do six times as much as before, or be in six different places at a time, or simply prank your friends into thinking they are crazy."

"Erm," she said, pretty sure she was going crazy. There, at the counter was standing a man looking remarkable like Filch, except for the bright red bow tie and green top hat he was wearing.

"Erm… Mr. Filch?" Ginny couldn't help but ask, more than certain he would answer in negative and/or remove his mask and become Fred. (Or George.)

The man did neither. Instead he smiled, and not one bit evilly, in fact, in a rather friendly way.

"That is my name, Miss. Do I know you?"

"Filch?" she repeated incredulously. "Argus Filch? Caretaker at the School of Hogwarts?"

"The same."

"But… but… but… oh, stop joking, Fred! Or George. I know it's you!"

"Mister Weasleys aren't here now. But I can give them a message from you, Miss, if you'd be so kind to tell me your name."

"Oh Merlin's third eyeball! It can't be…" Ginny whispered in horror.

"Oh, but it is!" a menacing voice called out from behind her back, and after a moment she was poured over with something sweet and sticky. That was red and smelled like raspberries.

"That was not very nice of you," Filch shook his head, his mild voice almost inaudible due to the loud sinister cackling.

"Oh, but the girl is so sweet now, isn't she?" the culprit called, and moving around the jam-covered Ginny, came to hover before her face.

"Peeves!"

"The one and only!" the poltergeist grinned and bowed down before her.

"But… what are you doing here, Peeves? And what is Filch doing here? And where are Fred and George?"

Saying that, Ginny vaguely recalled reading something like this from a certain red log journal. What she didn't remember, however, was the reason for her coming here in the first place, which was recruiting Filch and Peeves for Pigwarts. But seeing the nasty caretaker smiling at her in red bow tie and green top hat had wiped a large part of her brain sparklingly clean.

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"Perhaps it wasn't that great a plan," Daphne panted, sitting down on a rock to rest. The Forbidden Forest wasn't quite as small as she had thought it would be, or perhaps she wasn't quite as quick as she had thought herself to be.

"Perhaps carrying the trees one by one would have been faster."

"Moo!" said the cow.

"Stupid thought, I know," Daphne sighed. And sighed again, just for the dramatic effect of the situation.

"Moo," said the cow.

"Do you need to be milked now?" she asked without raising her head. Judging by the mooing, she had a pretty good idea whom she was talking to.

"MOO!!!"

"No? You sure, girl?"

"MOO!!! MOO!!! MOO!!!"

"What?" Daphne looked up, and caught the cow's reproachful glare.

"Well, true. But you certainly are a girl now. Take it as an opportunity to get in touch with your feminine side."

"Moo."

"Oh, don't give me that look. You heard what Ginny said. Once you have been forgiven, the spell will end."

"Moo?"

"I'm still mad at you. It wasn't nice what you did to me. And to all those other girls."

"Moo."

"I've got to go now. Bye," Daphne said, got up, and continued her way.

"Moo!"

"What?" she snapped and wheeled around, pointing her wand at the cow.

"Moo," the cow explained patiently and nudged her.

"You can't be serious!"

"Moo!" the cow insisted.

"Oh, very well then," Daphne gave in to the pleadings of her painful feet, and climbed onto the cow.

---

The jam was rather good, Ginny had to admit, as she licked her arms while listening to Peeves' story about the tragic end of Filch and Mrs. Norris. Well, the tragic end of their relationship, anyway, as both of them were very alive, and one of them still smiling politely at Ginny.

The basic concept of the tale was her breaking his heart and leaving.

That's what Peeves had been talking about the last fifteen minutes, and by the look of it, he wasn't going to stop anytime soon, at least not for something other than evil cackling.

If Ginny had remembered her plan to get Peeves into Pigwarts, she would have begun to wonder why exactly had she wanted to do that. But as it was, she didn't remember, and switched to licking her other arm instead.

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"Good cow," Daphne patted it on its back, finally connecting the last pole to the first. The last hours had been rather tiring for both the cow and the cowgirl, but they had still managed to uphold a conversation, discussing things like politics and favourite books.

"Moo," said the cow, lying down to rest.

"And now for the second part…" Daphne said, raising her wand. For a moment she stared at it, then at the forest, and then at the cow.

"I suppose you can't hold a wand too easily?"

"Moo."

"That's too bad. I really liked you."

"Moo?!!"

"Forgiveness saves you from the vow
And no longer you'll be cow."

"Moo," said the cow.

"Hmm, that was supposed to work."

"Moo."

"I don't know… Finite Incantatem."

"Moo."

"Oh well, be my moral support then," the girl shrugged, and pointed her wand back towards the forest.

"Nüüd sa oled suur," she spoke the first part of the incantation and waved with the wand. "Aga nüüd sa oled väike!"

Much to Daphne's surprise the spell worked, and after a blinding flash of orange, where there had been a forest before, there was a forest now.

Inside a small glass orb.

She picked it up.

"Nifty, isn't it?" she commented, dropping the tiny ball into her pocket.

"Moo," said the cow.

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Note:

Nüüd sa oled suur - Now you are big

Aga nüüd sa oled väike - But now you are small

Initially, I was going to change Dean back in this chapter, but I decided I like him better as a cow. :P

MOO! I mean, REVIEW!