Disclaimer: I'm not Joanne Rowling. Honestly!
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The Founding of Pigwarts II – Cooking Chaos
Chapter 18: Rather Stuck
Ginny heard Hermione shout something at them, but she didn't catch it, and she certainly didn't stop. She had actually yelled only one word – Rasvu – and even if Ginny had caught that, she wouldn't have understood, and even if she had comprehended, she would have never halted.
The door had seemed light years away, and it felt like centuries before they reached it, but finally it was there, right in front of them, close enough to touch, and the best part of it – open.
I'm actually going to make it, the redhead thought in surprise, and dove through the doorway. And she really might have made it, had Daphne not chosen the exact same moment to do the exact same thing, which now resulted in a collision.
"Get out of my way!" Ginny yelled, pressing towards freedom with all her might.
"You get out of my way!" Daphne shouted back, refusing to stop her movements of trying to squeeze through.
"I was here first!" Ginny exclaimed, waving with her hands in attempt to get hold of something that might help her pull herself into the hallway.
"So it's only fair I get to be there first!"
"Evil snakes don't play fair!" the Gryffindor roared, using her arms now for pushing Daphne away. But the girl had arms, too, and she fought back, and to her great horror Ginny suddenly felt herself being pushed away.
"Oh, no, you don't!" she declared, pressed her feet firmly into the floor, took a deep breath, and pushed like she had never pushed before.
The doorframe cracked in protest, something ripped, and the only sound in her way too narrow world was that of laboured breathing. But she kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and suddenly the restraints were gone and she was flying across the hallway, and before she managed a proper squeak of horror, she had crashed into the opposite wall. Another crash followed almost immediately, indicating that Daphne had managed to escape as well.
With an angry growl Ginny shove the wall away from herself, or perhaps herself away from the wall, not that it mattered, though, and turned toward the other girl to yell at her, which seemed the best idea at the moment.
But as soon as she got a glimpse of Daphne, Ginny's mouth fell open. Also, she was quite sure her mind had gone blank, as well, and her ability to speak had taken a vacation. She still managed to blink, though, but that didn't help either, for the vision before her eyes stayed the very same.
Ginny was not familiar with the sport of Sumo, nor had she been present when Harry had blown up his aunt Marge. Therefore, the only description that came to her mind was that the woman standing before her looked like she had eaten a thousand pancakes. And then some more.
She was huge. Everything about her was huge. And Ginny couldn't say she was fat either because that would have been the gravest understatement. She was more than obese. She was as tall as wide.
And she was Daphne.
And the look on her face, above those seven chins, was one that told no good.
Preparing herself for the worst, and half-sure she knew what it was, Ginny looked down at her feet. Well, she supposed that her feet were somewhere down there, under the enormous mound that was her stomach. Yes, it was her stomach because it was below the two enormous mounds that were her breasts. Not seeing her feet suddenly sounded like a good thing, but then again, looking at Daphne gave her a clear picture of what they looked like. Of what she looked like. And it wasn't a picture anyone would enjoy. It was more like a picture everyone would scream at and then run away.
"I'm fat!" Ginny screamed once her brain was capable of forming thoughts again, and her mouth agreed to speak them out.
"You look like you've had three thousand pancakes," Daphne commented.
"You look like you have had three thousand three hundred and thirty-three!" she snapped at her, then let out a long wail, "I'm fat! I'll never fit into my wedding dress!"
"I doubt Harry would want you like this anyway," the Slytherin tried to comfort her.
Ginny stopped her wailing for a second, wondering whether strangling Daphne would be a better idea, but one look at her neck drove that thought away.
"I'm fat!" she howled instead. "I'm fat! I'm fat! I'm fat!"
"Ladies," a smooth voice suddenly spoke from beside them, and turning their heads towards its source, even though it took a couple of more wails before Ginny managed that, they saw a smirking ferret leaning against the doorframe, clad in a silver bathrobe and twirling his wand between his fingers.
For about half a minute they both stared at him, not failing to notice just how thin he suddenly seemed, when something clicked in Ginny's brain, and being obese didn't sound like their worst worry any longer.
Obviously Daphne had realized that as well, and even sooner than Ginny, for the next moment she let out a high-pitched cry and stormed past them. The redhead followed her at once, very aware that since she was on the last place, it was her back that Malfoy now had a clear shot at, and since it was almost as wide as the hallway, the chance that he would miss was almost as slim as the space between her and the walls.
Running with three thousand pancakes wasn't easy, but at least this path would take them away from a smirking wand-twirling Malfoy, and that was the most important thing right now. This path led to freedom.
Actually, this path led to staircase. Daphne was first to reach it, and whether she was in too much hurry to think or simply incapable of stopping, when Ginny finally saw what was happening and yelled out a desperate "NO!!!", Daphne was already whizzing through the air like an over-weight Quaffle.
Due to gravitation, she landed in the middle of the long staircase, and even though she couldn't see this, Ginny was certain her expression was one of pure victory for the whole five seconds until the stairs decided that just like a cow was too much for a broom to carry, this blow and the continuous weight was too much for it to handle, and with a loud crack of wood and a surprised yelp from Daphne, the stairs gave way under her body, and a moment later she found herself in the staircase to her waist, or what was left of it.
"I'm stuck!" she yowled after thorough squirming, pushing, and pulling.
"I'm fat!" Ginny replied, slowly coming to the realization that even if she dared stepping onto the staircase, she wouldn't be able to get past Daphne anyway, meaning that she was stuck here as well.
"I'm stuck in the staircase!" Daphne thought to elaborate.
"I won't fit into my wedding dress!" the Gryffindor yelled. It was all Daphne's fault anyway, and she was not going to stand here just like that and let her lament about her bad luck, when it was perfectly clear that she, Ginny, was the true victim here. That decided, she plopped down to the floor, careful not to sit through it, and continued her own wailing.
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"I'm fat! Harry will never want to marry me this way!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"And why should he? He could get anyone he wanted!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"He could get any girl in the whole wide world, and he's not going to pick me when I look like this!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"Nobody would ever want me like this!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"I'll become a spinster and die all alone!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"I'll die all alone, and fat!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"I'm fat!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"I'm fat!"
"I'm stuck in the staircase!"
"I'm fat!"
"I'm in love with Draco, but don't tell anyone, it's a secret."
"I'm fa— what?" The time Ginny had spent with Daphne had taught her to expect a lot of things from that girl. In fact, she was quite certain that there were less those things she could say that would actually manage to shock her than those she was prepared to hear. This, however, was one of the few things that did render her speechless.
"I said that I'm in love with Draco, but don't tell anyone, it's a secret."
"But… but… but…" Ginny's vocabulary was suddenly reduced to a single word.
It was then that someone tapped her on the shoulder, and welcoming the distraction with open arms so that she would not have to think about the shocking news she just received, Ginny jumped to her feet and wheeled around. Or more like heaved herself up, collected her breath, and then slowly turned.
Surprises just refused to stop coming.
The picture before her eyes seemed to be an exact copy of what she had seen a few moments ago, only now it was Hermione leaning against the wall, dressed in a silver bathrobe and twirling her wand between her fingers. And, oh Merlin help us all, smirking.
Ginny would have screamed and run, had she not been painfully aware that she had nowhere to go. Here was Hermione, back there would be Malfoy, and the stairs were blocked by her soon-to-be-dead accomplice.
"Hermione!" she squeaked in horror, choosing the only option available and pressing herself into the opposite wall.
She didn't do anything but kept smirking at her and twirling the wand, but that stare and silence felt more terrible than anything else.
Ginny wondered whether she could actually push her way through the wall, and tried it, but Hermione kept smirking, and the wall didn't seem to be giving in.
"Yes?" the redhead managed at last, trying to sound humble, and probably even succeeding in that.
"I said that I'm in love with Draco, but don't tell anyone, it's a secret," Hermione said for the third time, smirking like she had never smirked before.
"Well, that's good for you, right?" Ginny replied, a bit confused and not a bit relieved about the topic of their conversation.
"That's very good," Hermione agreed, her smirk turning into an actual smile.
"That's great!" Ginny exclaimed, a shimmer of hope reaching her heart.
"Yes. Now tell me why you were spying on us again."
Ginny gulped. Hermione's tone had been soft, and the smile still there, but something in her gaze or about her posture told very clearly that the danger was not over yet.
"We didn't!" she hurried to explain. "Honestly! We were just snooping around in Malfoy's bedroom, and then we happened to have a pillow fight, but then you came, and we cleaned up the mess we had made, but didn't manage to leave the room. So we portkeyed out from the wardrobe, but instead of behind the door, we ended up behind the window, in thin air. We fell but got hold of the window ledge, and climbed in, and you know the rest."
"So that's what happened?" Hermione raised a brow.
"Yes!" Ginny exclaimed, "we weren't spying on you, really!"
"In that case," she smiled, stopped twirling her wand and pointed it at the redhead again, who let out a gasp of horror and closed her eyes.
"Kõhnu."
She didn't recognize the spell, but she did feel oddly light suddenly. Opening her eyes again, Ginny took a peek around, and looking downwards, she realized she was able to see her feet again.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she turned towards her friend, who wasn't there anymore. Looking around, Ginny noticed her by Daphne, helping the now-slim-again-but-soon-still-dead girl out of the stairs. The Slytherin looked every bit like before, unhurt though a little shaken. She chose to descend instead of coming up, and Ginny watched her rest against the wall at the landing, her eyes closed and hands around her stomach.
The Gryffindor was about to scream and dash after her, when something caught her eye. Daphne's stomach, although not the mountain it had been before, was still a bit bigger than it should have been. That realization triggered another thought, and looking down at herself again, she learned that although she didn't look like a human ball anymore, she still wouldn't fit into her wedding dress.
"Hermione, you missed a bit," she turned towards the patch of wall her friend had leaned against before, finding it empty.
Gazing back down the stairs, she saw Daphne there, but all alone. Thin enough to do this, she spun around, coming face to face with the one she was looking for.
She was standing a few steps away from her, but instead of leaning against the wall, Hermione was now leaning against Malfoy, his arms wrapped around her.
And oh Merlin save us all, now they were both smirking at her.
"Fifty laps around the house would be enough," Hermione spoke.
"Millicent sends her regards," Draco added, placing a soft kiss onto his lover's temple.
Ginny stared at them for a while, wondering whether she should say or do something, and in that case, what should it be.
Draco and Hermione bore and answered to her gaze, not once taking their eyes off her, even though they sometimes turned to share a kiss or a touch.
"It's good to see you so happy," Ginny smiled at last, finally reaching a decision.
"It's good to be so happy," Hermione replied with a laugh, and the two friends exchanged a look of truce. They were even now, and there was no need for any revenge on either side.
As to revenge…
"Daphne Dolcetta Greengrass!" Ginny bellowed, jumping onto the balustrade. "You are so dead now!"
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"Now this is almost better than a book," Hermione grinned.
"Aah! The world is going to end!" Draco gasped in fake horror.
"Stop that," she gave him an annoyed look, but her eyes twinkled in amusement. "I said almost."
"That's good. We still have time then. What a shame if the world decided to end just now when I'm having so much fun."
"Perhaps it has a personal vendetta against you?" Hermione giggled.
"I'll show you vendetta," Draco smirked.
"And I'll show you mine," she grinned back seductively, "later. Right now I'd like to watch this."
"As my Queen wishes," he said with a smile, pulled her into a lazy embrace, and turned his attention downwards. From the roof of the Manor, they had an excellent view of what was happening below, even though they had to rush from one side of it to the other if they wanted to see it all.
Five floors lower, Daphne was currently busy running for her life, and letting out occasional screams for the dramatic effect. Ginny was only a few steps behind, her hands stretched out and ready to grab her prey. At the end came Dean, running and mooing for all his worth.
"Yes," Hermione smirked. "Almost better than a book."
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Note: Spell translations (from Estonian)
Rasvu - fatten (imperative)
Kõhnu - slim (verb, imperative)
Hmm, I think I love this chapter even more than the previous one. ;)
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