Holding her hand had become a regular experience, one that Draco had no intention of stopping any time soon. Yes her hands were almost alwyas colder than his own, but Draco could handle the uncomfortable feeling for a few moments. It was well worth it to feel that happy feeling in the back of his head that almost made him want to smile at her. He got close, every now and then, but smiling at her still felt odd. Yet every other night they would sit on the floor in front of the sofa, fingers laced together as he did homework and Granger read, and he risked smiling at her. Granger reading was something Draco soon found that he loved; whenever she got excited or upset about something in the book she would squeeze his hand, her fingers unable to relax until things worked themselves out. Draco tried not to laugh the entire time that happened. They would hold hands under the desk in every class they shared except for Potions. It made him nervous at first, as he was convinced that someone would notice but so far no one had. And so they kept doing it.
Which meant that on the nights they stayed out of the common room, Draco was sure he was living in hell. It felt incredibly weird not to be awake at three in the morning with Granger and her books by his side. He wanted her there, he knew he did, though he refused to admit that part to Granger. The fact of the matter was, for the long eight hours they didn't see each other, Draco was sure he missed her. It was odd because it wasn't like they'd been parted for years, it was only a few hours. But he would much rather have Granger sitting next to him, each in their own worlds, but together. He wanted her to be around, a thought that would have mortified him even a year ago. But now what was he supposed to do? Write to his mother and admit that she was right about her making him happy? That didn't sound at all entertaining; his mother would never let him live it down if he told her that. There wasn't anyone else he could tell though; what, was he supposed to go up to Potter and explain the fact that he had certain feelings for Granger? Feelings that Draco wasn't even sure meant something? No, that would never work either. He knew he would have to work it out on his own, but that didn't sound very good either.
He could usually fall asleep on the nights when they stayed in their own rooms, but it didn't seem like sleep was going to come to him. Draco was irritated, tired, and sick of thinking about whatever was going on with Granger. Not to mention that, after two weeks of near silence, one of the first years that had been hexed had been hexed again. It was the girl, she'd been defending one of her friends again. Draco couldn't really remember her name, but he knew he wanted to find the fourth years that had done it and teach them what payback meant. He'd probably be expelled if he did that though, so he had to deal with Granger's attempts at calming him down for the hour before they'd gone to bed. McGonagall had thrown Draco's suggestion of letting it go out the window; apparently twice was too many times. Draco had been hexed twice in a month before when he was younger, though no one had done anything then. He didn't want the first years to go throw that, though he did want them to be able to figure things out so they could defend themselves. At the very least they should be able to defend themselves. McGonagall hadn't even listened to the girl, who'd pleaded for the headmistress to just let the matter go; she'd given the girl Veritaserum and the girl had cried when saying the names of a few Ravenclaws and Gryffindors.
And so he was angry, and being awake at three didn't help matters. The longer he lay in bed, glaring at the ceiling, the angrier he got and Draco knew it wouldn't get any better. He was contemplating knocking on Granger's door, as it was possible he could persuade her to come out into the common room and hold his hand, though it was a long shot. If he did, she would probably be mad at him because he was awake and trying to talk to her. Granger held true to her promise of only coming into the common room every other day, no matter how bad of a dream she'd had. And sometimes, when Draco came walking out of his room at six, he could tell that it had been really bad. On the nights it was bad she would be pale, her eyes would still be a little wide, and she could be a little jumpier. He'd decided not to mention that to her though, as it could upset her and Draco didn't want to do that.
"Stupid bloody agreements," he muttered angrily, shifting on the bed so he was laying on his side. He was sick of staring at the ceiling, it was ridiculously boring. Not that his wall was nay better, but at least he could glance out the window and see the darkness. It was dark in his room, of course, but at least the dark outside had something interesting when he looked up. There were stars there, and stars could always be a pleasant thing to look at. Sure there could be clouds but so far Draco couldn't see any and he was thankful for that. Granger would probably like the sky, but Draco wouldn't know.
"Damn it!" he said, louder as he punched his pillow and pulled the blankets over his head. He really just wanted to sleep and stop thinking about her, but she seemed to invade every train of thought that she could. It was beginning to frustrate him even more; if he could do nothing but think of Granger how was he supposed to sleep? Though maybe it was some kind of cruel joke, that wouldn't surprise him.
It was the beginning of February and very cold, but Draco didn't want to think about that fact as he climbed out of bed and opened the window. He breathed in a breath of the fresh, crisp air as he couldn't think of anything else to do. He refused to sit in the damn bed anymore though, it was going to drive him crazy. He leaned partly out of it, sighing soflty as he ran a hand through his hair. It was going to be a long night if he was going to sit by the window looking at the sky. The thought of breaking Granger's rule and going to her room to see if she would sit with him began to sound more and more appealing, but Draco fought off the urge to seek her out and remained leaning halfway out the window.
He almost fell down four stories when a scream sounded from the common room. Draco had jumped so badly that he'd banged his head against the side of the window and barely caught his balance before he fell out. He couldn't understand who would be screaming in the common room at three in the morning, but after a moment he realized there was only one possibility. Granger wouldn't have fallen asleep in the common room, she was far too careful to do that, though if she'd walked out and had another one of her flashback things... Though she hadn't really had one in so long, why would one pop up then? The questions he had didn't matter though; he ran out of his room almost as soon as he realized who it was.
Boot and Abbott were stumbling out of their rooms as well, both looking incredibly confused. Boot looked at Draco and frowned before looking around the common room. "What's-"
"Granger are you all right?" Draco asked quickly, walking briskly to where she was kneeling on the floor. She was caught about halfway between the sofa and the bathroom and she was looking at the three of them. Her face was quickly turning red and Draco couldn't help but feel bad for her. She didn't want people to know what was going on with her and now Boot and Abbott would be able to figure it out if they thought about it. He dropped to his knees and went to reach out and grab her hand, a gesture to let her know that he was there for her, but he pulled back with a glance at Abbott and Boot.
"Hermione what's-" Boot began, but Abbott put a hand on his arm to silence him.
"Are you all right?" Abbott asked gently, staying still. It was quite obvious that she wanted to walk over to Granger and comfort her in some way, but she seemed to know what Granger would want. "Hermione?"
"I-I'm fine-I'm so sorry to have waken you," she said shakily, tearing her eyes away from Draco and looking at Abbott and Boot. She offered a nervous smile that Draco knew was forced, and he sighed quietly. "You should all go back to bed,"
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about whatever happened?" Abbott asked.
"No, that's all right Hannah," Her voice was shaking ever so slightly, and Draco frowned. He wanted to know what was wrong, what she'd seen but he also didn't want to ask in front of Boot and Abbott. "Thank you though," Boot and Abbott retreated to their rooms in a reluctant manner and Granger looked back at him. "That means you too,"
He grabbed her hand then, giving it a small squeeze. Color rushed to his cheeks, of course, but neither said anything about that. "What happened?" he asked quietly.
"I just saw something, that's all,"
"If it was a bug, Granger-"
"It wasn't a bug," she snapped, frowning at him.
"Well then what was it?"
"Just something,"
"You can tell me, you know. I thought we trusted each other or something. Didn't you say that's what you wanted?"
"Of course that's what I want, I just-"
"You just what, Granger?"
"I-Promise you won't laugh?"
"I make no guarantees. If it was ridiculous I may not be able to hold it in,"
She smiled slightly then, shaking her head at him and rolling her eyes. "I saw... Well... Do you remember Colin Creevey?"
"The annoying kid with the camera?"
"He wasn't annoying,"
"Fine, the kid with the camera?"
"Yes,"
"You saw him? What about him?"
"Well, it's just... he died in the war, Draco,"
"He did?"
She nodded, a pained expression crossing her face for a moment. "He came to fight even though he was too young. Kind of like Ginny,"
"So you saw him fighting?"
"No, I... I tripped over him,"
"What?"
"I don't remember it happening in real life, but I was coming back from the bathroom and all the sudden he was there and I-I couldn't stop the scream before it happened. I didn't mean to wake anyone,"
"I didn't think you did,"
She nodded again, sighing. "You should go back to bed, Draco,"
"I wasn't sleeping anyway,"
"What?"
He shrugged slightly, debating what he wanted to actually tell her. "I couldn't stop thinking long enough to fall asleep. I'd rather-"
He stopped suddenly, frowning as he didn't want to share his last thought with her. To his relief she didn't ask what he was going to say; she was too busy in her own thoughts. "I guess it wouldn't be a huge problem if we... I mean if you wanted to...You're not sleeping anyway," she said finally.
Draco almost smiled yet again. He stood instead and turned to his room. "I'll go grab my Charms essay," he stated, watching Granger retreat to her own room. She was in their spot on the floor when he returned with his textbook, essay, quill, and ink, and he sat down beside her. It took a few seconds to get comfortable on the floor, as it always did, though as he reached over and laced his fingers with hers he felt better. Draco started on his essay, as usually, and Granger kept reading her book. He could tell she was distracted though, probably with what she'd seen and with what Abbott and Boot would probably figure out, and he wasn't entirely sure what to do to make her feel better. "Talk to me,"
"What?"
"Reading's not going to make you stop thinking about it. So just talk to me. I'll still listen, but I'm still going to work on this essay,"
He listened, as he said he would, as she talked about anything and everything that came to her mind. He didn't mind, not really; he was just glad that they were sitting together again. He was glad to feel her warmth start to warm his cold skin. He hadn't realized how cool he'd been getting hanging out of the window to look at the stars, but Granger was definitely helping to warm him back up.
At some point, he really wasn't sure when, Granger had leaned her head against his shoulder. At first it made him a little uncomfortable, as it was different than just holding hands and he could feel her jaw moving as she talked to him. But after a while, maybe an hour of her on his shoulder, Draco found that he started to mind less and less. It made him feel closer to her and that was something that Draco definitely enjoyed. Sure it had only been two weeks since they'd started holding hands, but Draco was sure that would be the end of how close they got. As five neared, the time Granger usually got ready for the day, he found that she was talking less. Soon enough, she whispered, "Thank you," and pulled her hand away from his as she sat up. "Thank you for sitting out here with me,"
"It was better than staring at the ceiling,"
Granger chuckled softly. "I know," she nodded. "I spend half of my nights staring at that ceiling and-"
"You're still not sleeping well? I thought it would have gotten better by now,"
"Well, I didn't think it was something we needed to talk about,"
"But if you're not sleeping and I'm not sleeping on our nights away from each other-"
"You're not sleeping either?"
"Of course not. It's rather hard to sleep when I'm thinking. But then if neither of us are sleeping then why are we still doing this? Spending nights alone-"
"You'll get bored of me at some point, Malfoy," she said immediately, frowning at him. "Besides, I'm sure it's preventing fights and I don't want to fight with you. Anyway, I should go get ready,"
"Granger-"
"I'm not changing my mind. Some day you will start sleeping normally and I won't take any chances. What if it's the next time we're supposed to stay in our rooms? Or the time after that? If we meet each other out here every night then you'll never have the opportunity,"
"But that's not-"
"I won't argue this," And with that she turned her back to him and walked into her room, disappearing for a few moments before going straight to the bathroom. Draco sighed, running a hand over his face and walking back to his room. At least he'd finished his essay; that and holding Granger's hand might be the only good things to have come from that night.