When Hermione returned to Hogwarts on Saturday morning, the first thing she'd done was go to the Gryffindor common room in search of Harry. He would be able to tell her that everything was going to be okay and her life wasn't falling to shreds; of course he would know what she was going through because he'd gone through the same thing. Her father was quite alive, so she hadn't lost everything, but her mother... Well, Harry understood. He held her for a good ten minutes while she'd struggled to get the words out of her mouth. And then, once she'd pushed Harry back to Ginny and insisted that she was going to be okay, Hermione went off in search of Draco Malfoy. During the week she'd spent with her father she'd missed him more than anyone else. That wasn't something she would easily admit to Draco or anyone else, as anything involving emotions seemed to make him uncomfortable and she didn't want things to be awkward between them. Hermione did not get her wish.
She'd been back for just over two weeks and he'd barely said a word to her. At first she'd been confused, and then she'd been sure that he was just mad that she'd gone away for a week without giving him any kind of explanation. After cornering him and asking if that was the case, he'd furiously shouted that he didn't care where she'd been. The only words that he'd said since always had something to do with her leaving him alone. And so, nearly three weeks after learning that her mother was dead, Hermione was still horrified at the fact that she'd been more upset about Malfoy than her mother. Maybe it was because the thought had always been in the back of her mind that her parents were dead so she'd become used to the idea. Maybe it was because Draco had become so important to her that it hurt her just as much as it always had when Harry and Ron had ignored her. Hermione wasn't entirely sure if either explanation could fully explain her feelings; she was fairly certain it was a combination of both. And maybe, she thought, it was something else as well.
Hermione, however, was just as stubborn as it seemed that Draco was. Because once he'd started to ignore her, she'd given him nothing but stony silence. Every leave me alone had come in the first few days after she'd been back, when she'd still been trying to talk to him. It was definitely hard to sit next to him in class and not hold his hand or glance at him, but Hermione thought she was managing quite well considering. But the hardest part definitely had to be waking up at night and sitting in the common room by herself, knowing that he was going to stay in her room and avoid her. And the worst part about that had to be that when she did see him in class she could tell that he hadn't been sleeping any more than he had when he had been coming out to meet her. She was sure that meant he was still waking up every other night but he was just trying to stay away from her. That hurt too.
Harry, on the other hand, seemed to be paying her more attention to her than he had all year. It was probably because she'd told him what had happened, and it was obvious that he was the only one she'd told, though she wasn't going to complain. He was the only one who understood what she felt and Hermione needed someone to understand that part of her life. The more she thought about it and the angrier she got, the more certain she was that Draco wouldn't have even tried to understand what she was feeling. He probably wouldn't have cared. She knew it wouldn't do her any good to think badly about him as that would make her feel worse about what was going on, though the bitter thought slipped into her mind multiple times as she sat at the Gryffindor table in the great hall. She didn't know how to stop the thoughts though, as they made it easier not to talk to him. But she definitely missed him.
"I was thinking that maybe you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with us next weekend?" Harry said, looking in Hermione's direction and frowning slightly.
"What?" Hermione asked, looking at him and frowning as well. She hadn't really been listening to a word he'd said; her eyes had been directed at the ceiling and her mind was on Draco, once again. "Sorry, I wasn't-"
"I know," he shrugged. "Are you thinking about-"
"Harry," she said warningly, watching the way Ginny and Neville were watching them. Hermione wasn't ready for everyone to know what had happened, as she didn't want to see the way they'd look at her. Harry was different; Harry knew exactly what it was like and he wouldn't look at her any differently. "And no, not really,"
He nodded slightly, frowning again. Hermione felt guilty about making him frown so much, but that only added a small bit to the huge amount of guilt that was currently occupying the space around her heart. Because the one thing that she would never tell Harry was that it was her fault; it had to be her fault. If she'd just hidden her parents away instead of wiping their memories then the car accident that had killed her mother never would have happened and her father wouldn't have looked so broken and lonely when she'd first seen him. Everything that had happened to them was her fault and Hermione knew that; the guilt it caused was beginning to get overwhelming. "-so anyway, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with Ginny, Neville, Luna, Ron, and I next weekend?"
She'd missed half of what he said but that wasn't why Hermione had hesitated at the question. "Harry I'm not sure if that's the best idea,"
"We'll make sure Ron doesn't do anything stupid. It's weird not having you with us, Hermione, and if you're not hanging out with Malfoy any more then I thought you'd like to come with us,"
"I guess that would be okay," she said slowly, nodding. "It sounds fun, Harry," she continued, noticing the frown beginning to appear on his face.
"It'll help you too, I think," he said quietly, leaning over so he was whispering in her ear. It was about the only way to make sure no one overheard without actually pulling out a wand and casting a spell, and Hermione wasn't sure Harry even had his wand with him. Hermione didn't; hers was upstairs in the common room.
She offered him a weak smile and turned back to her meal, picking at the food on her plate for another fifteen minutes before her friends decided they were going back to the Gryffindor common room. She walked with them part of the way but left as soon as they got to the floor her common room was on. Her friends waved goodbye and Harry gave her a sad look, but Hermione gave him another smile it return. She doubted, every now and then, that she'd made the right choice in telling Harry. He seemed more suspicious of how she was acting as of late and Hermione was sure he'd start to notice how tired she was looking because he was paying more attention. The only person Hermione had wanted to know about that was Draco, and it wasn't like he was going to talk to anyone about her any time soon. Harry might tell someone else and Hermione wasn't ready for all of her friends to know.
She got about halfway to her common room before she turned and decided to walk to the library. Hermione had no desire to sit in the common room with Terry and Hannah and watch Malfoy storm past them and into his room, throwing a glare in her direction. If she stayed in the library up until ten, when she had to be back in the common room, Hermione was sure she could avoid the looks from Draco. They hurt almost as much as his silence did.
Hermione pulled a book off one of the shelves, not really paying attention to what she was picking up, and settled into a chair. She kept a close eye on her watch even though she'd only been sitting a few minutes, as she didn't want to get detention for being out of bed. Hermione hated getting detention and if she had her way it would never happen again. It had happened enough with Harry and Ron, though she hadn't had it as much as they had and Hermione had always been thankful for that.
She sighed heavily, wishing that she could stop thinking about Harry and Ron and just get back to her book. Though if she was thinking of Harry and Ron then she wasn't thinking of Draco and that was a good thing. She shouldn't be thinking of him so often anyway, especially if they were no longer speaking. That would just hurt more in the end and Hermione definitely couldn't handle any more hurt. "Granger?"
Hermione almost jumped; she'd been so lost in thought that she hadn't even noticed anyone walk up to her. She'd almost been sure that it was Draco who'd come up to her as he was the only person she knew who called her Granger, but after a moment she realized that the voice wasn't even male. Hermione instantly recognized her as one of the first years who'd been hanging around Draco, which she still thought was nice. He hadn't pushed them away after something had set him off like he'd done to her, and Hermione was thankful of that. Maybe none of the five Slytherins noticed it, but they needed each other. At least Hermione thought they did. "Hello, Elizabeth," Hermione said, hoping that she at least got the girl's name right. "Is there anything you need?"
"I-I thought it would be a good idea to talk to you,"
"Has something else happened?"
"What?"
"To you and your friends; has something-"
"No, we're fine. Malfoy made sure of that,"
"Then what seems to be the problem?"
"Well, he's the problem," she said slowly, frowning and biting her lip. "He'd be mad if he found out I was talking to you. Then again, once he figures out it was us who stole the letter he'll be even angrier,"
"You stole one of his letters?"
"One he was writing, yes," Elizabeth said as if it wasn't an invasion of his privacy. "He's been moody lately, and we were, well, we were curious about what was going on with him," she explained, eventually sitting across from Hermione. "He left the Slytherin table to go to class and he forgot it; we took it and read it,"
"I think that you should find a way to give the letter back," she began, prepared to launch into a lengthy explanation as to why she needed to give Draco back his letter. It wasn't right to steal things and they never should have read it anyway. Hermione didn't know what he would put in a letter, but if it was important enough to make him actually write it down then it was probably something he wanted to keep private.
"No, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," she said, rolling her eyes and folding her arms across her chest. "It's about what was in the letter,"
"I don't feel right listening to that without him telling me himself,"
"Yeah, well, he's not really going to do that now is he? You two haven't talked in weeks,"
Hermione frowned and narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. "If it was important he would tell me,"
"Well it is important and he hasn't. And I can tell you why," Hermione opened her mouth, prepared to tell the first year that she didn't want to know, but she was cut off before she could even speak. "It's about you. Do I have your attention now?"
She couldn't even respond to the girl; she didn't want to listen to Draco's secrets, though she got the feeling that she would be forced to hear them if she didn't stand up and walk away. After a silent debate with herself Hermione pushed her chair out and stood. "I'm sorry but I can't-I won't listen to things about him that he doesn't want me to know,"
"No-" Elizabeth lunged across the table and grabbed her wrist, a hesitant look to her eyes. "Please, just hear me out. It's for him, I swear,"
Hermione eyed the girl warily before sitting back down. If it really was to help him then Hermione wanted to hear it; if it wasn't she could very easily stand up and walk away. "Okay,"
Elizabeth smiled slightly, though it quickly disappeared. "You make him happy," she said, obviously wanting to get straight to the point. "And then two weeks ago, you two just stopped speaking. I blamed you at first because he was so annoyingly angry and I thought you must have done something. I realize now that I was... wrong," she scowled at the word, something Hermione was sure she often did as well.
"He gets angry a lot," Hermione stated, shrugging slightly. "Why is this time any different?"
"That was my thought. You know, I've read a lot of love stories-"
Hermione's mouth fell open and a strangled sound came from her throat. "Love? Why are you-"
"I'm getting there, Granger. And don't looked so shocked; it's really obvious that you feel something for him,"
"But not-"
"Anyway," she said sharply, "that's where most of my explanation stems from. But it makes sense and when you add in that letter he was writing..." she trailed off and sighed heavily. "My friends and I realized that he was mad at you, which isn't that unusual,"
"I know he's mad at me, I just don't know what for,"
"Granger if you'd just let me talk instead of adding something in every few seconds then I'd already have told you my theory," she said angrily, reminding Hermione an awful lot of Draco. He'd said something similar to her after Christmas, and Hermione couldn't help but frown at the memory. Maybe she did cut people off often; she'd never really thought about it. "So, as I said we figured out he's mad at you. My friends didn't get that at first but they're all boys so I expected that. They're not the best with emotions. But we couldn't figure out why. And we always want an explanation. He'd been writing letters like mad for days before we took the one he'd left before and we'd caught glances, though we couldn't see everything. We did see your name though," She paused for a moment, frowning "The letter we took was obviously a reply to someone, I don't remember who it was to, but he was talking about how he couldn't possibly have..."
She stopped again and Hermione had to prevent an angry sigh from escaping her lips. Elizabeth had quite easily caught her attention and Hermione just wanted her to finish her story. "Go on,"
"Have feelings for, well, for you,"
"Feelings? He wouldn't-"
"He did, Granger. I think, and remember this is just a theory, I think he realized that he, well, felt something for you and it freaked him out,"
"But he wouldn't-"
"Do you have a better idea as to why he's so mad at you? And everyone?"
"He-Well he said it wasn't true but I'm sure it's just because I left for a week without telling him anything,"
"As someone who was with him for that week, I can assure you he wasn't angry. He was losing his mind yes, but he was worried. I don't know how you did it but he cares about you, and I think it's a lot more than he realized,"
"But-"
"I just wanted to tell you because now I'm worried about him. And I don't want that, I'm too busy worrying about my friends. I need you to work things out with him so that he'll go back to normal,"
"I'm not going to force myself on him if he obviously doesn't want it,"
"Granger, you've got to fix things. I haven't known him very long but I know that he's stubborn and he won't do it himself,"
"Look, Elizabeth, I'm sorry you're worrying about him but Draco won't listen to anyone else if he doesn't want to do something. And he doesn't want to talk to me,"
"Then make him listen," she said sternly. "Come on, please? I shouldn't be worried about someone six years older than me, should I? I'm a kid, I shouldn't have to deal with this!"
Hermione bit her lip to stop from pointing out all her, Harry, and Ron had dealt with when they were twelve but she figured Elizabeth wouldn't appreciate that. "I'll... I'll try and talk to him tonight, all right?"
"Took you long enough," Elizabeth muttered, standing up. "I'll have to tell my friends. I lost the game of chess so I had to talk to you. I hope everything works out for you two," She walked away before Hermione could say anything else. It was with a heavy sigh that Hermione stood up, put back the book she'd been reading, and left for the common room. She would keep her word to Elizabeth and try to talk to him, though there was no gaurantee that she would get very far.