Holy guacamole, Batman! A new chapter in less than a week? The apocalypse must be nigh.

Schmank ya kindly for the reviews, and enjoy.

Warning: Here there be foul language that any salty sailor would be proud of—mostly courtesy of Nao, of course.

Natsuki slumped down on her couch, watching some inane talk show. There was never much to do at noon on a Friday. Youko had given her a day off; at first it seemed like a blessing, but now that Natsuki was close to dying of boredom, it was obviously more like a curse.

If she had her motorcycle, she'd be cruising around Tokyo right now, but nooooo, the stupid battery had to be replaced. Cruising around in Mai's old car just wasn't the same.

Natsuki's cell chose that moment to ring. Natsuki happily accepted the call at seeing it was Shizuru. "Shouldn't you be in class right now?"

"Being the Student Council President has its privileges. What is Natsuki doing right now?"

"Nothing much, why?"

"How does Natsuki feel like taking a little excursion?"

Natsuki grinned. Shizuru always had roundabout ways of asking to hang out. "What do you have in mind?"

"Shiori's car broke down on the highway. Can you pick her up?"

Natsuki suddenly jerked up, bumping her knee against the coffee table. "Fuck!"

"Is that a yes?"

"Absolutely not, Shizuru!"

"I know you don't like her—"

"Try undisputed loathing—"

"—but since I'm in school right now, you're the only one who can pick her up."

"Why don't you call Mr. I'm-Better-Than-Everyone-Else Kanzaki? I'm sure having a fiancé comes with some perks. Hell, even if it doesn't, she can call a freaking taxi!"

"Reito's in a business meeting, my parents are out of town again, and Shiori has an irrational fear that she'll get kidnapped by the taxi driver."

"You're right, that is an irrational fear. Who would want to kidnap her?"

"Natsuki, do it for me? She won't stop calling me; I nearly had my phone confiscated!"

Natsuki rolled her eyes. "So I'm the one getting thrown under the bus?"

"Better you than me?"

"Fantastic." Natsuki sighed in frustration. "Alright, where is she?"

She internally cursed her inability to say no to Shizuru. Suckered again.

-000-000-

Natsuki came to a stop in front of an angry blonde screaming at a flustered man looking underneath the hood of an expensive-looking car. She sighed and got out of Mai's junk car.

Shiori's back was turned to her as she yelled at her poor driver. "Do you realize how late you've made me, you imbecile? Give me one reason I shouldn't fire you right now—"

"How about 'it's not his fault?'" Natsuki interrupted dryly. Shiori whirled around, her angry expression quickly morphing into a more pleasant one at seeing Natsuki.

"Well, if it isn't my baby sister's girl." Shiori licked her lips in a decidedly predatory way. "You have no idea how glad I am that you came."

"And you have no idea how much I'm not," Natsuki grumbled under her breath. Leave it to Shiori to single-handedly cause a traffic jam by breaking down in the middle of a highway, though the woman seemed unperturbed by the belligerent honking behind her.

"What was that?"

"Just talking to myself," Natsuki waved her off. She coughed at the amount of smoke that billowed out. "That looks pretty bad." The elderly driver shrugged helplessly.

"You know, I really appreciate this." Shiori said.

"Hmm." Natsuki settled for a grunt—no telling what scathing remark would blurt out if she opened her mouth.

Shiori yawned. "So, are you going to fix it?"

Natsuki fixed her with an incredulous stare. "Do I look like a mechanic to you?"

"No, but you look like you have talented hands."

Natsuki ignored Shiori's flirtatious remark. "Sir, did you call a tow truck?" she asked the driver.

The white-haired man nodded. "Please, call me Yoshi. They said it would take anywhere from one hour to three hours to get to us—"

"—and I have a meeting with the board in half an hour." Shiori interrupted.

"I suppose you want a ride?" Natsuki asked reluctantly.

"Always." Shiori winked.

Natsuki and Shiori's driver exchanged glances and rolled their eyes. Natsuki slid into her car. "Hurry up, then. I don't have all day."

Shiori turned and hissed to her driver, "Stay with the car, Yoshi, and I may consider keeping your services."

The driver rolled his eyes heavenward. Why was he always saddled with the spoiled sister?

Natsuki glanced over as Shiori got in the passenger seat and looked around the car with barely concealed distaste. "Where's Yoshi?"

"He volunteered to wait for the tow truck. Nice car."

"It's my friend's, and it works, which is more than I can say for yours."

"Ooh, kitty's got claws. Nice to know you're more than just a pretty face."

"So Shizuru tells me." Natsuki smirked when Shiori scowled at the mention of her sister.

Natsuki studied her high-school tormenter through the corner of her eyes. She had to admit, it was understandable why people found Shiori so fascinating. Her beauty, wit, and arrogance were captivating to those who didn't experience her cruelty firsthand. Her flirtatious manner, disconcertingly similar to Shizuru's, drew men and women to her like bees to a flower. Hell, the one advantage that Shiori had over Shizuru was age—5 years older meant she exuded a greater aura of confidence and maturity than her younger sister. Still, Shiori was that same bully she was as a teenager—the treatment of her driver proved it.

If Natsuki knew Shiori as well as she (unfortunately) did, Shiori would turn up the charm near anyone she found attractive, and Natsuki wasn't blind—she knew Shiori found her attractive. The plan was to be as rude and short as possible with Shiori…maybe her complete lack of manners would discourage the other woman!

"Shizuru said you were quiet, but I didn't think you were mute," Shiori commented.

"Does it bother you?" Because if it did, Natsuki would happily stay silent for the entire ride.

"Not at all. I like the strong and silent type."

Fuck. Shit. Balls. The one time Natsuki wanted to discourage a pretty girl from hitting on her, it was failing miserably.

"Aww, I didn't mean to get you flustered—even if it is cute."

"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not even remotely flustered." Natsuki shot back scathingly.

"Ara, so defensive! Relax, it was a joke." Shiori winked.

Natsuki's jaw tightened. "I'm not sure if Pretty-Boy Kanzaki would laugh at your jokes."

Shiori made a sound of amusement. "And what has my fiancé done to earn such dislike?"

"I didn't say anything."

"It's quite all right—Reito doesn't seem to hold much affection for you, either."

"I don't really care."

"My, my. Are you always this rude?"

"Depends, are you always this nosy?"

Shiori rested her head on her fist and looked at Natsuki in amusement. "I heard temperamental women make the best lovers."

Natsuki nearly crashed into a car. She swerved around just in time and scowled at Shiori, who threw her head back and laughed merrily. "Ara, so easy to tease."

"Jesus Christ, can you tone it down? I'm not sure if Shizuru would appreciate this; I know I don't."

Shiori lazily waved a hand. "No need to get so snippy. If you're satisfied with my baby sister, who am I to argue?"

Natsuki ignored her. She only had to tolerate a few more minutes of Shiori before they arrived at their destination, and she was determined to spend it in complete silence on her part.

"Nat-su-ki." Shiori sounded out. "That's a nice name. We're the same age, aren't we?"

"Hm."

"I always knew my baby sister was attractive to others—she is a Fujino, after all—but I've always seen her as a baby. How strange that she managed to snag someone my age…it makes me wonder what I can do."

"Why don't you try it out and let me know? Wait, scratch that—I'm not very interested." The car came to a smooth stop in front of Shiori's building.

Shiori's amusement was still there, but now it was tinged with irritation. "If I'm not mistaken, Shizuru's probably told you horror stories about her superficial, hedonistic older sister."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "You're referring to yourself, right?"

"Guilty as charged. But Shizuru enjoys her fair share of parties, too…actually, she might even be worse than I am—the whole teenage rebellion thing, you know." Shiori winked. "She's just a kid; any relationship that lasts longer than a month is practically a lifelong commitment. Her attention will move on to someone else pretty soon. You need someone who's proved to be capable of commitment…" Shiori made a show of inspecting the diamond ring on her left hand.

"She's a lot more mature than you give her credit for; I respect her decisions. Shouldn't you be leaving?" Natsuki impatiently gestured to the door.

Shiori opened the door. "Thanks for the ride, babe—I'll see you soon." She blew a kiss at a fuming Natsuki and shut the door before sauntering off.

Natsuki wasted no time in driving away. Never, ever would she do that ever again—not for a million dollars, not for a lifetime supply of mayo, not even if Shizuru offered up her first-born child—actually, she could give the last one some thought.

Natsuki twisted the bottle of beer in her hands before giving the person next to her a heartbroken look. "I need her, but she doesn't need me! She only wants me for my looks!"

Miyu Greer, a solemn, almost robotic acquaintance of Nao's, gave the extremely inebriated Natsuki an exasperated look before looking around. Seriously, this dark-haired weepy girl—whom she had never met before—had come out of nowhere to cling onto Miyu. Wasn't this girl Nao's best friend or something? Where was that damn redhead?

Meanwhile, from across the room, Nao and Mai observed Natsuki gesture dramatically at an annoyed Miyu before dissolving into tears.

"This is all your fault." Mai scowled.

Nao nodded. "Yeah. Jeez, Miyu doesn't look too happy, does she? I thought the alcohol would at least loosen her up enough to appreciate having a hot girl hang all over her."

"I'm not talking about Miyu! That 'hot girl' is Natsuki! Fix it!"

"I know, I know. Call her?"

"Call her."

"Okay." Nao took out her phone and dialed a number. Mai leaned in to hear the conversation, but the thumping music made it impossible.

Nao ended the call. "She'll be here in five minutes."

True to word, both redheads heard frantic pounding on Nao's door in five minutes. Nao opened the door to let in an out-of-breath Shizuru.

Shizuru glanced around in a panic. "Natsuki's dying and you're throwing a party?"

"What? Natsuki's not dying." Mai blinked and glared at Nao. "What did you tell her?"

Nao shrugged and sipped her beer. "I may or may not have said that Natsuki was bitten by a black mamba." She caught Mai's incredulous look. "What? I saw Kill Bill last night—that shit went down in Japan, you know."

"Why the hell would you ever say that?" Mai demanded while Shizuru glared at Nao.

Nao gestured at Shizuru. "It got her to come ASAP, didn't it? Also, the Heineken may or may not be getting to my head."

Shizuru took a moment to catch her breath before hauling back and socking Nao in the arm.

"Owwww."

"You scared me! You're lucky I didn't hit a nerve," Shizuru hissed.

"No, I'm pretty sure that got on my nerves," Nao sniped back.

"If Natsuki's not dying, why did you call me?"

Mai glared at Nao. "It's this one's fault, so I'll let her explain."

"So being the awesome person I am, I decided to throw a party tonight—you haven't partied until you experience a Yuuki party—and for some unfathomable reason, Natsuki wanted to fly solo, which is why she didn't call you—"

"Okay, I'll explain," Mai interrupted. "See, Natsuki was going to invite you here tonight, but this moron here—" she pointed at a sheepish Nao "—wouldn't stop teasing her about how needy she was being. So Natsuki got pissed off and decided not to invite you to prove to us that she wasn't needy, even though I thought it was incredibly sweet that she wanted you here, and now she's in danger of alcohol poisoning."

"Not to mention she's bringing down the entire party with her weepy hysterics," Nao grumbled.

Shizuru glared at Nao. Nao held her hands up in supplication. "Hey, I didn't plant the seed; Natsuki was obviously already self-conscious about being too needy or some shit like that. My joke just made her snap."

Shizuru groaned. "I asked Natsuki to pick up Shiori today. I bet my sister only made whatever insecurities she may have had worse."

"Well, there you go! Not my fault, see?" Nao said to Mai.

"Right, well, since Natsuki apparently decided to replace you with alcohol, she's been acting…not like her usual self." Mai jerked her thumb at Natsuki, who by this time was drunkenly examining an extremely-uncomfortable Miyu's hand in awe.

Nao watched Shizuru narrow her eyes and stalk over to the two like a cat—like a jungle cat. Yeah, like a motherfuckin' jaguar. Nao shook her head and set down her beer. Time to switch to water, it seemed.

Natsuki was enthusiastically prodding at Miyu's palm, oblivious to the stoic girl's discomfort. "This is the metacarpus. It has 5 metacarpal bones—yours are very nice, by the way—"

Shizuru, now towering over a seated Natsuki, cleared her throat. Natsuki's head jerked up and she gasped at seeing Shizuru. She flung Miyu's hand down like it burned her. "Shizuru, it didn't mean anything, I swear! Please don't leave me!"

Miyu rolled her eyes and wriggled out of Natsuki's hold. "Thanks," she muttered to Shizuru before making a swift exit.

Shizuru bit back her smile. "So this is what Natsuki does when I'm not around? Play doctor with other girls?"

"I'll never hold another girl's hand again!" Natsuki declared.

Shizuru couldn't hold back her laugh any longer and sat on Natsuki's lap, threading her fingers through dark hair. "Ara, Natsuki is adorable when drunk." She grasped Natsuki's wrists to stop her roaming hands and quirked an eyebrow. "Pretty hands-on, too."

Natsuki untangled her hand from Shizuru's and reached for her drink. "Would you still love me if I were ugly?"

Shizuru tugged the bottle out of Natsuki's grasp and kissed away her pout. "I think you've had enough to drink, Natsuki."

"Define enough!"

"'Enough' as in Natsuki is a lush and should really stop drinking."

Natsuki tried to frown and ended up cross-eyed. "Not my fault I have low alcohol tolerance. Blame my mother for that."

"You can bring it up with her yourself tomorrow."

"What?"

Shizuru groaned. "Natsuki forgot about our lunch date with her mother tomorrow, didn't she?"

"Would you still love me if I were ugly and senile?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Shiori said you like to move on to fresh meat every few weeks or so. I'm not fresh anymore!"

Shizuru narrowed her eyes. Shiori had always interfered in her relationships, and Shizuru had never really minded before. Now, though, it pissed her off that Shiori was interfering in her relationship with Natsuki.

Shizuru didn't know what love felt like, but when she was with Natsuki, it felt like falling off a cliff—exhilarating and fucking terrifying at the same time. Shizuru decided to forget thinking and just say the first words that she thought of. From the heartbroken look on Drunk Natsuki's face, she was taking too long to respond. Besides, it wasn't like Natsuki was going to remember what she said in the morning, right?

Shizuru leaned down and murmured in Natsuki's ear, "Yes, I'd still love you—even if you are drunk out of your mind."

Natsuki looked at her with remarkably lucid eyes. "Good."

"What are you guys talking about?" Nao plopped down next to Natsuki, effectively ruining the moment. Mai slid in next to her, ruining any attempt to salvage it.

"Shizuru said she likes me for my mind." Drunk Natsuki was back with a vengeance.

Nao squinted at her. "Well, that mind is going to have a brutal hangover tomorrow."

"Natsuki can't handle her alcohol very well," Mai unnecessarily explained to Shizuru. "Maybe I should take her home."

"What are you talking about? I am home," Natsuki protested.

"This isn't your crappy apartment, it's my crappy apartment," Nao stressed.

Natsuki frowned. "Home is where the heart is, and my heart is where Shizuru is. Duh, Nao."

Nao choked on her beer while Mai cooed, "Adorable!" Shizuru smiled adoringly at her oblivious girlfriend.

"Fucking sappy. When the fuck did you turn into a walking Hallmark card, Natsu?" Nao laughed.

"Probably after that fifth shot of vodka, Nao-Nao," Natsuki supplied helpfully.

Mai leaned in towards Shizuru. "You know they're totally wasted when they break out the nicknames." She tapped Natsuki's shoulder. "Time to go before your liver decides to give out."

Natsuki tried to stand and ended up falling sideways before Shizuru steadied her.

"Ara, I think Natsuki had a little too much fun tonight. I'll help you get her home," Shizuru told Mai.

Mai flung Natsuki's other arm around her neck. "See you tomorrow, Nao."

Nao cackled at the dumbfounded look on Natsuki's face when Mai dragged her towards the door. "She's going to feel like shit in the morning."

-000-000-

"One, two, three!" Mai unceremoniously threw Natsuki onto her bed. Shizuru chuckled when Natsuki attempted to sit up and failed.

Mai placed a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water by Natsuki's bedside. "You'll need this tomorrow."

Natsuki rolled onto her back. "Look, Mai, it's Shizuru! She's in my room!"

Mai rolled her eyes in exasperation. "And now she's leaving. Say goodnight, Natsuki."

"Goodnight, Natsuki." Natsuki obediently parroted.

Mai's cell phone rang. The redhead impatiently took it out of her pocket. "Hello?...What do you want, Nao?...Why are the cops there?...You did what! How did you even get a refrigerator onto the roof?—"

"Sounds like an interesting conversation, doesn't it?" Shizuru whispered to Natsuki.

Natsuki frowned. "Mai's phone is talking to her."

Mai snapped her phone shut and turned apologetic eyes toward Shizuru. "I'm really sorry to have to ask you this, but do you think you can stay with Natsuki tonight? Nao needs someone sober to deal with the cops at her place, and Natsuki does weird shit when she's drunk and alone. Last time, she ended up at the airport about to board a plane to Seoul before I caught up to her."

"No problem, Mai," Shizuru assured. "I think an intoxicated Natsuki is the lesser of two evils."

"Thanks! I'll probably end up staying at Nao's, so feel free to take my bed." Mai rushed out of the apartment.

Shizuru placed a kiss on Natsuki's forehead. "Sweet dreams." She turned to leave the room, yelping when a pair of surprisingly strong arms wrapped around her middle and tugged her into bed.

Natsuki turned on her stomach to gaze solemnly at Shizuru. "Stay with me. My bed is so much better than Mai's."

Shizuru chuckled and ran a hand through luscious dark hair. "And why is that?"

"Because I'm here." Natsuki gave her a look that screamed out obviously.

"You're drunk."

"I am. But you're soft and you smell good—"

Shizuru peered over to see why Natsuki had stopped talking so abruptly, only to have her heart melt at seeing Natsuki asleep. It was true, you did look younger in your sleep.

"Goodnight, Natsuki."

Natsuki unconsciously responded by pulling Shizuru closer. Shizuru smirked. First sleepover for the win.

-000-000-

An annoyed Mai pounded on Nao's door. There were no cops! She could still hear the party raging on inside!

Nao opened the door and looked mischievously at her friend. "Keep it down, the neighbors are sleeping."

Mai shouldered her way into the apartment and scowled. "The hell, Nao? I had to leave Shizuru to watch over Natsuki because you said you needed help with the cops!"

"Nah. I mean, my neighbors did call the cops, but my cousin Jin is on the police force, and my apartment just so happens to be in the district that he patrols." Nao cackled. "My neighbors despise me."

"Why'd you call me?"

"My good friend Jack Daniels here gave me an inspirational idea." Nao tapped her head. "See, if we let Shizuru sleep over with Natsuki, that just begs for some bonding time. Then Natsuki realizes that she's a miserable sack of crap without Shizuru and presto! They live happily ever after."

"You're full of shit."

"Thank you."

"I offered Shizuru my bed."

"Natsuki's like a fucking octopus when she sleeps—she clings onto everything and everyone, remember?"

Mai shook her head. "I can't deal with this. I'm crashing at your place tonight."

"Sure thing. Breakfast will be served on the roof, by the way; I wasn't kidding about the refrigerator."

Reviews are ahhmazing.

I may or may not have lied about there being angst in this chapter. Is it wrong that I ridiculously enjoyed writing this chapter, though?

Drunk Natsuki's words are almost exactly what my drunk friend said to her long-suffering boyfriend, bless his soul…

Someone asked for Miyu, so voila! A small cameo! What the audience wants, the audience (usually) gets—unless it's something ridiculous like "make Natsuki a secret agent and Shizuru a deadly crime lord who end up working together"—oh, wait…