Natsuki landed in an undignified heap on the floor, frozen in fear as she heard Maria stomp around outside. Her heart threatened to pound right out of her chest as she tried to control her panting, ears straining to listen to the argument Shiori and Maria were having below. Their voices grew more and more inaudible as they presumably walked away until finally, there was silence. Only then did Natsuki look up to see Shizuru's very pissed off countenance.

"Uh, hi."

"How did you get in here?" Shizuru said sharply, glancing over her shoulder to make sure the door was shut.

Natsuki got up and patted down her rumpled clothing. "I climbed the trellis. Which, side note, is probably really dangerous to have by your window, you should keep it locked—"

"You climbed what?" Anger turned into concern as Shizuru grabbed Natsuki's shoulders and scanned her for injuries. "Are you crazy? What if you broke something?"

"Don't worry, the trellis is fine and so are the roses."

"I meant like your neck!"

Natsuki brightened. "That's what I said!" She caught Shizuru's hands as Shizuru ran them over her sides in an attempt to check for broken ribs. "Hi," Natsuki said again with a hesitant smile.

Shizuru immediately scowled and drew her hands out of Natsuki's grasp. "What part of 'I never want to see you again' don't you understand, Natsuki?"

"See, I kind of have an issue with the 'never' part," Natsuki said quietly.

"And I kind of have an issue with the 'you've been lying to me since we met' part," Shizuru snapped back.

"Okay, I deserved that." Natsuki nodded to herself. "But can we please discuss this calmly—"

"Oh, I'm calm," Shizuru cut her off. "For someone who just found out that she was being used in a plot to ruin her sister and that everything about her girlfriend was a lie, I am the picture of tranquility!"

Natsuki winced at the level of anger in Shizuru's voice. "It was never about you, I swear, it was supposed to be against Shiori..."

Shizuru shook her head in disgust. "And you involved me, used me, to get back at my sister. What did I ever do to deserve that, Natsuki?"

Natsuki deflated. "Nothing. You didn't do anything, it was all me. Shizuru, please, I'm so sorry—"

"Yeah, you are," Shizuru agreed scornfully. "Did you even think your plan through? You would've suffered from the fallout as much as the rest of us, if not more. What did you expect to happen after you shot yourself in the foot?"

"Shizuru, It could've been the most successful plan in the world and I would still regret it so, so much. I was wrong, I was an asshole to think I could even do this to you. I knew it was wrong before we started dating and every second I spent with you proved it to me."

Shizuru's jaw dropped. "You still think you can refer to what we had as 'dating'? Tell me, how exactly you were going to expose our dating to everyone, Natsuki? Were you going to announce it in class? Go to the tabloids and sell the story to the highest bidder? Were you going to let me find out at the same time as everyone else that you were just using me?"

"No! I wasn't going to go through with it! I was going to tell you, I swear," Natsuki pleaded.

"But you didn't!"

"I was scared!"

"Of what?" Shizuru demanded, no longer bothering to keep her voice down.

"Of losing you!" Natsuki said, her voice rising in volume to match Shizuru's.

"How can you expect me to believe that? You've been lying to me and manipulating me this entire time! Would you even have given me a second thought if I weren't Shiori Fujino's sister?"

"I—"

"For once, Natsuki, just tell me the truth!" Shizuru's voice broke. "Please."

Natsuki screwed her eyes shut to prevent hot tears from spilling over. "No. I wouldn't have."

The pained intake of breath that followed her confession, however quickly stifled it was, shoved a dagger into her heart.

"I would definitely have noticed you, Shizuru, but I wouldn't have done anything about it," Natsuki continued quietly. "An attraction that wouldn't have gone anywhere…"

A brittle silence stretched between them, neither willing to break it for fear of what would happen next. Natsuki averted her gaze to the floor, hands shoved uneasily into her pockets while Shizuru stared pointedly above her head, her chin tilted up defiantly even as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Well, there we have it. The ugly truth." Shizuru swiped roughly at the tears trickling down her cheeks and glared at the moisture on her fingers as if it had personally betrayed her. "Where do we go from here?"

"Shizuru, I'm sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you. I'll apologize a million times if that's what it takes for you to believe me."

"Oh, I believe you." Her tone was flat, emotionless. "But I don't know if I can forgive you."

Another stab of pain in Natsuki's chest. "Shizuru, please...tell me how I can make it better and I'll do it, I promise."

"Why even bother, Natsuki? You've gotten what you wanted—Reito is going to expose us to the public in a matter of days. There's really no point in continuing our sham of a relationship any longer."

"It's not a sham, Shizuru, not anymore. It's real for me! Reito won't do anything with those photos, I've taken care of it."

Shizuru scoffed. "How?"

Natsuki had no idea, but she trusted her mother, had no other choice but to do so. Saeko was never one to make idle promises. "Never mind how, I just have."

"Oh, well, that's very reassuring and not vague at all." Shizuru rolled her eyes. "If it's anything like your original plan to seduce the underage student, I'll be able to sleep easier tonight knowing that the future of my family's reputation is in such capable hands!"

Natsuki blew out a heavy breath. "I'm trying to fix the mess I made, okay?"

"Why even bother?" Shizuru repeated, equally as frustrated.

"Because I'm in love with you!" Natsuki automatically snapped back. She immediately bit down on her lips, desperately wishing she could take it back, that she could have told Shizuru in a different way, a better way—but it was too late. The words weighed down the air between them, making it hard for Natsuki to breathe.

A variety of emotions flitted across Shizuru's face before settling on a practiced indifference. "I don't believe you."

"Shizuru," Natsuki said weakly, placing a tentative hand on Shizuru's shoulder.

Shizuru pushed her hand away immediately, sending Natsuki a step back. "Do you even know what it feels like to be in love?" She didn't bother waiting for an answer, instead looking at a point beyond Natsuki's shoulder and steadily refusing to meet her eyes. "Because I don't."

Those words brought on the sharpest pain yet, and Natsuki unconsciously gripped at her heart in a futile attempt to soothe the nearly debilitating ache. "You…don't feel anything for me? Nothing at all?"

Shizuru's responding laugh carried a note of hysteria, sharp against Natsuki's ears. "Whatever I'm feeling right now is excruciating, Natsuki! It hurts me to even breathe! Whatever love may feel like, if it's supposed to be this agonizing…then I don't want it."

Natsuki's throat tightened to the point that she had to struggle to get her words out. "So what do you want?"

The hard edge of anger seeped out of Shizuru's body, leaving her looking just as lost and sad and confused as Natsuki felt. "I don't know. I don't know how we can fix whatever we have, or if it's even possible to fix it. How can we, when I can't even bring myself to trust you?"

"Shizuru, please, look at me," Natsuki asked quietly, watching as Shizuru momentarily resisted her plea before finally looking her in the eye. "I can't tell you to trust me, I can only show you that you can. Let me prove it to you. Please." She slowly reached out, hope hesitantly rising up within her when Shizuru allowed herself to be drawn into Natsuki's arms.

They held each other tightly as the sun sank below the horizon, lengthening their shadows and turning the room darker and darker in increments, the only indication of passing time. A cold pit of dread formed in Natsuki's stomach when Shizuru's arms grew slack and she stepped back out of Natsuki's hold.

Shizuru looked at her searchingly, breaking Natsuki's heart when she slowly shook her head. "I can't."

The two whispered words were the loudest Natsuki had ever heard. "Shizuru…"

Shizuru looked away. "Go home, Natsuki. It's over."

Natsuki shakily took a step back and bowed her head, squeezing her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. "Okay." Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and repeated, softer, "Okay."

Without another word, Natsuki walked over to the window and eased it open, ducking through it before Shizuru could stop her. She focused all her attention on alternating each descending hand and foot on the slats of the trellis, refusing to let her mind linger on anything else. She just ruined the best thing in her life and there was no one she could blame but herself.

-000-000-

Shizuru couldn't help but watch as Natsuki walked away, finally letting her tears fall unchecked now that no one could see. She pressed her fingers against her mouth to stifle a sob when Natsuki didn't look back.

She sat down heavily onto her bed and tried to take a deep breath, choking when it only made her chest tighter. Unable to stand the sharp ache that seemed to radiate throughout her body, Shizuru curled into a ball in a feeble attempt to contain the pain, make it more manageable.

A sharp knock on the door cut through the dark, though Shizuru barely heard it through her pulse pounding in her ears. The door swung open without waiting for an answer, Shiori's silhouette outlined against the light coming from the hallway.

"All done with your lovers' spat?" Shiori's voice was as nonchalant as always, like she was there only because she had nothing better to do, and Shizuru hated her for it.

"Go away."

Shiori did the exact opposite and stepped fully into the room, shutting the door behind her. "You could be a little more grateful, you know, considering neither of you bothered keeping your voices down. I had to convince Grandmother that I was watching a K-drama on the highest possible volume."

"Get out," Shizuru insisted, her voice cracking on the last word.

A slight furrow appeared between Shiori's eyebrows. "Where's Nerd-suki?"

"SHUT UP, SHIORI!" Shizuru finally sat up and glared at her sister.

Shiori's jaw dropped. "What is your problem?"

"My problem is you! You're shallow, selfish, and manipulative—"

"Oh, by all means, don't hold back," Shiori sneered.

"Do you even understand what a horrible person you are?" Shizuru snapped. "You've been stepping on my head since I was born because of your pathological need to be the best in every single way possible! You treat me like I'm your competition in a game I don't even want to play, Shiori! No matter how hard I try to escape your shadow, you are everywhere—no one can even look at me without seeing you!"

"Poor, pathetic baby Shizuru," Shiori fired back. "You've truly led a life of hardship, haven't you? Has it occurred to you that maybe you haven't been trying hard enough?"

"I've tried my entire life! And then comes the one person who seems to finally see me for who I am, someone I actually lo—like," Shizuru hastily corrected, "and it turns out she had this weird revenge obsession with you! And from what I've heard, it seems like she had a pretty good reason to do so, Shiori!"

Shiori took a deep breath and looked Shizuru over carefully. Her sister, no longer the poised and controlled young lady everyone was accustomed to seeing, looked years younger in her heartbreak. The Shizuru before her was almost unrecognizable, like she was seeing Shizuru for the first time. Shiori was suddenly struck with the thought that she couldn't remember the last time Shizuru had looked at her with anything else but cool indifference.

How long had it been since she had a meaningful conversation with her sister, taken the time to get to know her? Everything in Shiori's life seemed to have crumbled to her feet overnight, and in the settling dust, she was left with a man who had never loved her and a sister who was practically a stranger now. The sudden regret left an acrid taste in her mouth.

"Shizuru...I'm sorry," Shiori said instead.

Shizuru's eyes narrowed. "...What do you want from me?"

"I want you to be happy." Shiori frowned when Shizuru let out a derisive laugh. "Why wouldn't I want that? You're my sister, Shizuru."

Shizuru rolled her eyes. "That's never meant anything to you before."

Shiori sighed impatiently. "That was in the past."

"Yes, like an hour ago."

"Can you just accept the apology so we can move on to other things, such as the elephant in the room—or lack thereof, rather?" Shiori sniffed. "I'm assuming you kicked Natsuki out, which is why she's not the one here dealing with your teenage angst right now."

Shizuru's face fell at that. She turned her back to Shiori and curled under the covers again. "I'm done with her."

"What, was her apology not heartfelt enough for you?"

"Apologies are just words, Shiori. At the end of the day, they don't erase what's already been done."

Shiori rolled her eyes. "God, teenagers are so dramatic. At least you didn't get married and then file for divorce a day later—my life is a complete wreck right now."

"Did you even love Reito? " Shizuru snapped back. Having turned away from Shiori, she missed the vulnerability that flashed across her sister's face.

"I did enough to marry him, didn't I?" Shiori replied shortly.

"And we all see how that worked out, right?"

Shiori's jaw clenched. "Like you're such an expert in relationships? You've only ever been in one, and you just threw it out the window. Literally."

There was a sullen silence before Shizuru muttered something that Shiori couldn't hear.

Shiori stepped closer to the bed. "What was that?"

"She said she loved me," Shizuru repeated softly.

Shiori sighed loudly. "I know."

The covers rustled as Shizuru peeked over her shoulder at Shiori. "What? How did you know?"

"She told me. And even if she didn't, she scaled the side of a building just to see you…I was only half-kidding when I told her to do that, I didn't expect her to actually go through with it." Shiori shrugged. "She's not good enough of an actress to act like that if her feelings weren't genuine. Too blunt, not enough finesse."

"That's exactly what she was doing at the beginning—pretending to like me!"

"And now she's not," Shiori said, rolling her eyes at the thought.

Shizuru's brow furrowed. "Why are you defending her? You hate her."

"I do," Shori agreed. "But...as people go, she wasn't entirely horrible, I suppose. You were happy with her, weren't you?"

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" Shizuru muttered.

"Of course it does. Listen, Shizuru, for your entire life you've been this weird loner child—"

"Thank you, Shiori," Shizuru said sarcastically.

"Don't interrupt, you know it's true," Shiori scolded, feeling surprisingly sisterly for once. "You've been self-sufficient practically since you were born. When our parents thought I was old enough to babysit you by myself and left us two alone, I didn't have to actually do anything. I didn't even realize how much work children actually are until I had to help Reito look after the kid daughter of one of his father's business partners. You were basically an adult in a tiny body." Shiori shrugged. "I don't even think you looked up to anyone. No friends and no heroes, and you were fine with it."

"That's not true. For a while, I looked up to you."

"Yeah," Shiori conceded. "The point is, we were both lonely children. I compensated for it by becoming the girl whom everyone wanted to be friends with, and you made up for it by becoming someone who didn't need anybody but herself. Truthfully, I don't know which is sadder."

"Can you leave? I'm not in the mood for a therapy session right now."

Shiori scowled. "I'm apologizing, okay? I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn't depend on anyone to be there for you. You're my only sister and I should have reached out to you more—maybe if I had, you wouldn't be so resistant to the idea of love."

Shizuru turned to stare at her. "Are you sick? Do you have a fever?"

"No, you ungrateful brat, I'm trying to be a better sister," Shiori snapped. "Now move over."

"Why?"

"Just do it," Shiori grumbled, crossing her arms and impatiently tapping her foot against the floor until Shizuru finally shifted to make room on the bed. With a burdened sigh, she climbed into the bed to join her sister and wrapped her arms around Shizuru. Despite her brusque movements, Shiori's embrace was more secure than suffocating. Shizuru felt her eyes tearing.

"Why are you being so nice to me now, after all these years?" Shizuru asked, her voice muffled as she hid her face in Shiori's shirt.

Shiori's lips twisted into a bittersweet smile. "Getting your heart broken for the first time is a special occasion."

The tears started flowing faster and Shizuru's shoulders heaved as she attempted to stifle her sobs. "I don't even know if I love her," she confessed. "I just feel sick."

Shiori rolled her eyes. "It could possibly be you finally feeling like you need somebody for the first time. It's not the worst thing in the world, you know."

"But it's over now. It hurts too much, Shiori."

"Yeah," Shiori agreed. "But it's not the end of everything. The earth keeps spinning, sun will continue to rise, and you'll still be breathing. Before you know it, it won't be so bad."

Shizuru let out a tired chuckle. "Did you read that in a love advice column?"

"Shut up, you brat." It was said without malice.

In the comfort of the dark, Shizuru finally asked the million-dollar question. "Shiori, what does it feel like to be in love?"

There was a long silence, before Shiori quietly admitted, "I don't know."

Two things:

1. Sorry

2. Thank you