Tea on Tuesday at Four

Chapter 4

Grace

I have arrived early for our tea date to try and gather my thoughts, but at this point in time, I am absolutely baffled by my son, Christian. He and Ana were due to arrive at the Summer Fete on Saturday evening, but they never did show. I tried calling him the next morning, but all he would tell me is that he was under the weather. And when I tried to ask him about Ana, he said that he had to go. I hope that nothing is wrong between them.

Oh, there she is. Thank goodness. Perhaps Elena will have some insight into this situation. I do know that Christian talks to her. In fact, there are times when I have been just a tiny bit jealous because he tells her more than he tells me.

"Grace, dear," she says kindly.

"Elena," I reply.

She looks at me closely. She seems to be searching my face for something. I wonder if she knows that something is up with Christian.

"Grace, you seem to be upset about something today," she says, her voice filled with concern.

I sigh.

"It's Christian," I admit. "Just when I had thought that he had finally found the perfect girl, something seems to be terribly wrong."

"Oh dear," she says. "Perhaps you better fill me in. Does it have something to do with the fact that he never showed up at the Fete? I had presumed that he would be attending with Ana."

"Yes, it does," I answer quietly. "I called him on Sunday morning and it became clear that he is closing up again. All he would say about the Fete was that he felt under the weather. And he refused to talk about Ana."

I can see that she is looking at me sympathetically. At least I know one thing. She is not going to say "I told you so," the way that Carrick did. She tried to warn me not to get my hopes up, but I refused to listen. Now she seems to be struggling to find the right words.

"Is that all?" she finally asks.

"Well, he did return a day early from Georgia," I admit. "He said that he had some business situation that he had to deal with in person."

"Do you think that something happened in Georgia?" she continues to probe.

"I just don't know," I reply.

"Well perhaps his return really did have nothing to do with Ana," she tries to sooth me. "You know that Ros is a highly competent second in command, but Christian does not like to give too much control to anyone."

She is lost in thought and I just don't know what to say to this insight.

"I know," says Elena suddenly. "Maybe they had a little . . . spat because he left early. If that's the case, then this may only be a temporary setback."

"Do you think so?" I ask eagerly.

"I think that there is a very good possibility," she nods. "And Christian is so intense about things. And he is used to getting his own way. It could be that he is making a mountain out of a molehill and is just sulking. When you think about it, he has no experience with female relationships at all, or with any other kind of relationship for that matter. He is going to need to learn that you cannot control a personal relationship the same way that you would a business deal."

"You could be right," I say. "Maybe I should call him again and try to get him to open up."

"Why haven't you? Especially if you are so concerned," she asks.

"Carrick told me to mind my own business and let him figure it out on his own," I explain.

"Well that is a very male response," she replies. "But your son's happiness is your business."

"So do you think that I should call him?" I ask.

"I don't see anything wrong with it," she replies. "Call him this evening. For all you know, they've gotten past this little 'speed bump,' so to speak. And if they haven't, perhaps he will be ready to talk about it."

As I look at my dear friend stirring her tea, I am once again grateful for all of her support through the years. How many times have we been here? Christian has closed up inside himself and refuses to admit that he needs help. Elena has such a wonderful sense of what he needs and when he needs it.

"Is he still coming to the ball on Saturday?" she asks suddenly.

"As far as I know," I reply. "He knows how much Coping Together means to Carrick and me."

"How many tickets has he purchased?"

"Two," I answer. "Do you think that it means something?"

She smiles enigmatically.

"It means that there is hope for him yet," she replies wisely.

I take a deep breath and decide to change the subject. I feel guilty sometimes because we spend so much time talking about my problems. She never gives me that chance to return the favor. So I ask her about Esclava and she's off talking. But I also have the feeling that she's not entirely with me.

Poor Elena! I don't mean to dump all of my troubles on her. But who else do I have to talk to? She's the only one who truly understands my boy. Even Carrick doesn't see it. He doesn't see the wealth of hurt and pain that is the residue from his wretched early years. I give her a small smile and try to follow what she saying. But neither of us is really attending to the matter at hand. Both of our minds are really on Christian.

Elena

Whew! I'm glad that is finally over. Sometimes I wonder how Grace ever made it through Yale medical school. For a woman who is supposed to be so brilliant, I can't believe how scattered she is when it comes to her kids. Of course, she has always been very career-oriented. Ever since I have known her, she has always been struggling to balance family with career.

She did tell me that after they adopted Christian, she took two years off so that she could stay home with him. She was so worried about him that she wouldn't trust him to the care of a nanny or babysitter. I think that is why Christian feels so strongly about her. She not only saved him, as he freely admits, she gave up time from her own successful career to care for him.

He told me once that he thought that she was an angel when she cared for him in the emergency room. She was so different from his mother, all clean, with golden hair, and dressed in white. And she was in charge. His mother was always so passive, a victim. Grace was strong. His mother was weak.

It took him a while to trust Carrick. He was always afraid that he was going to beat up either Grace or himself. I think that he is still intimidated by his father to some degree, even though he would never admit it. But I can see how he wouldn't want to tell Grace about the break up with Ana. It has been a few years since he disappointed her. And she did make a large fuss over the girl.

Presently, my larger concern is that nut job Leila and the threat she poses to him. I knew that she was bad news the minute that we were introduced. She seemed to be just a little too eager. Not that they all weren't eager. There was just something about her . . . It's too bad that he didn't listen to me, but it was during a time when he was very stubborn. No two ways about it, Leila was always a manipulative, little bitch. I still don't think that he sees it.

Even back then, she was obsessed with him. But she was clever enough to mask it with all of that cute behavior. Except in the playroom. Christian does not do cute in the playroom. But she was willing to take any punishment that he could dish out. And boy can he dish it out!

Fortunately, she overplayed her hand when it was time to sign on the dotted line for another three months. It was then that she proved what an insipid, little fool that she was. She wanted "more" and Christian finally recognized what a "clinging vine" that she was. And that, thankfully, was the end of that.

But that stunt that she pulled last Thursday was a masterpiece of manipulation! Who would have thought that she had it in her? Of course with her tolerance for pain, a little cut on the wrist must have been nothing. But she sure as hell scared poor Gail half to death.

Gail called me after she took her to the hospital. I could tell that she was very upset by the scene that Leila had caused. She still had the code (I don't know how many times that I've told Christian that he should change it after every sub) for the elevator and came walking right in. And then, when Christian wasn't there, she pulls out a knife and tries to slit her wrist. Of course she didn't cut anywhere deep enough to get the artery. Too bad. She might have bled out before Gail could get her to the emergency room and saved us all a world of trouble.

Gail wasn't even sure of who she was. That was why she had to wait until after she got her to the emergency room and the nurse checked her ID so that she could phone Taylor with the name. After all, she had virtually no contact with any of the subs. Ana is the first that she has ever been actually introduced to. And they all looked the same. And naturally, she was afraid because Taylor wasn't there to handle everything.

She was even afraid that she had handled it wrong until he assured her that she had done the right thing. It's very convenient that the two of them keep each other company while Christian is off in his playroom. I know how valuable Taylor is to Christian and how important it is to keep him happy. The only worry that I have about her is that she and Taylor are becoming so close that she may become more "discreet" where I am concerned. I have always had the vague impression that Taylor does not completely approve of me.

But Leila is a piece of work. I suspect that she had come to the apartment with the idea that if she cut herself in front of Christian that he would rescue her. No doubt, she saw his picture in the paper with Ana and that sparked her interest again. Yes, she certainly has his number. It's always been a part of his MO. He feels guilty because he's beaten the girl black and blue and then tenderly takes care of her. Yes, I'm sure that that was her plan all along.

And of course, Christian falls for it. How quickly did he come back from Georgia? Gail calls Taylor and Taylor tells Christian. Then it's back on the plane to Seattle. I'm sure that Ana wasn't too happy about it, but I also know damn well that that didn't drive her away. Even the clothes that I convinced him to buy her didn't do it. And the sop still has them in the closet. He also still has the car, the laptop, and the Blackberry. Hopefully, she's learned her lesson and will just stay away from him once and for all.

Perhaps, I should drop this little hint to Christian. Maybe next time Leila will come after Ana. That would certainly get his attention. No, on second thought, I won't mention it. He would be sure to step up her security whether she wanted him to or not. Talk about an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone! I wonder if Leila has figured out that they've broken up. Oh, I hope not! It's not that I have anything against Ana personally, I just don't like the negative effect that she is having on Christian.

More than anything, I don't want him to be hurt by her. He is not ready for the kind of relationship that she wants. He told me once that Flynn says that emotionally he is still an adolescent. Well, I could have told him that! And I wouldn't have charged him by the hour to do it. Twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight year old men do not become this attached to their lovers. Oh, yes, that's another little piece of his nonsense. He considers her a potential lover.

He might have blown off Grace on Saturday night, but not me. I'm still pissed that he didn't let me come over, but I could tell by his tone over the phone that he wasn't in the mood to see me. Despite his abject misery, all he wanted to do was make hat silly glider kit that she gave him. It was a first and it was all her fault. She thinks that I'm to blame for who and what he is. This whole Mrs. Robinson shit is starting to get old. If she cares for him as much as she says, she would never have left.

Silly girl! What was she thinking would happen if she let him punish her? And she knew full well that he was going to take his belt to her. In fact, she asked him to do it. She literally begged him. She wanted to see if she could "take it." Boy, did she find out the hard way that she couldn't. However, considering the hell that she's putting Christian through right now, I would say that she got exactly what she deserved.

I wonder how long she thought that she could lead him on like that. Christian told me that he had always been up front and honest with her about his needs. He has every right to feel betrayed. Maybe she thought that playing hard to get was the way to ensnare him. Didn't she realize that sooner or later she would have to pay the piper? Christian Grey comes with a boatload of baggage. And that includes a playroom full of whips and canes.

I knew that sooner or later it would come to this. There is no way that he was going to just miraculously give up the lifestyle, even for this little ingenue who has captivated him. Why does she have this hold over him? Is it because she gave up her virginity to him? That's possible, I guess. He may feel guilty because he took it as a means to end. There is a certain logic to the idea that she can't sign onto the lifestyle unless she at least knows what sex is all about.

And, I suppose, there is a certain logic to his possessiveness. After all, she's the first girl that he's ever had that wasn't used goods. I am sure that part of her appeal is that she's never done it with anyone else. That gives me an idea. Maybe if he does succeed in winning her back (oh, I hope not) I will suggest that he bring her to one of the clubs for a little more training. Maybe if she gets a little more experience with other Doms she could meet his needs better.

He always did like to see the girls in action before he made he final commitment. Oh, it was always a very amusing time. We would go in together and look around for some likely candidate. There are always those types that enjoy having an audience. Then, when he saw what he wanted, I would make contact and he would interview her, at his office no less. We never picked out one who didn't sign after the first meeting.

This idea definitely has possibilities. But I better be very careful before I mention it. If by some miracle he does win her back, he's very likely to be very protective and possessive. But can he win her back? Do I want him to win her back? I wonder. Maybe I should give him a call.

He picks up on the first ring.

"Elena," he says briefly.

"Christian?" I reply hesitantly. "How are you doing? I've been worried about you."

He gives a long sigh.

"First my mother and now you," he finally says. "No, I'm not fine, but at least I can tell you. I have still had no contact with Ana since Saturday morning when she walked out on me."

"Have you tried?" I ask, my voice filled with concern.

"Not exactly," he says.

"What exactly does not exactly mean?"

"Well, yesterday was her first day at her new job," he replies. "So I sent her some flowers, at home. But she hasn't even called or emailed to thank me. It just, um, not like her."

"Did it ever occur to you that you're being a little too subtle?" I ask.

"I'm afraid that she just threw them out," he says despondently.

Oh, no, I think to myself. This is no good at all. The last thing that I need is for him to be mooning all over her. So I decide to approach the issue right on.

"There you go again, Christian," I reply with a carefully measured amount of sternness. "Just because you are thinking the worst of yourself, you think the worst of her. May I remind you that Taylor told you that she was sobbing the whole way back to her apartment. It sounds to me as if she's hurting too."

"Do you really think that's possible?"

I can hear the hope in his voice. This reaction pleases me. If I can get his hopes up, then it will send them crashing down if or when she rejects him again.

"Christian, didn't you tell me that you were her first boyfriend?" I ask patiently. "The first break up is always the hardest for a young girl. I know that she's old enough to have graduated from college, but it just seems like she's so young. Why don't you give her a second chance? I bet that she'll jump at it."

"Do you really think so?" he asks even more hopefully. "How should I approach her?"

Now I'm smiling. I'm back in control and I like it.

"Well can you think of a good excuse to meet her?" I say. "Now you have to be careful. Remember, she's accused you of stalking her before. Can you think of any good reason to contact her?"

There is silence on the other end.

"Well, she did mention that her friend's photography exhibit opening is on Thursday in Portland," he finally says. "She asked me to take her."

There is more silence. I wait for him to process the idea.

"Since she returned the car," he continues. "She has no way of getting down there, I think. Hmm, I really don't like the idea of her meeting with Rodriguez in her present state."

"Isn't that the same young man that you rescued her from last month?" I ask innocently. "The one that was practically trying to rape her when you stepped in? Are you sure that you want her meeting up with her in her present vulnerable state?"

Oh, I know Christian so well. He's breathing heavily now as he tries to control his anger. He is definitely going into his possessive, overprotective mode.

"Yes, it's the same guy," he says tensely. "And no, I don't want her anywhere near him right now."

"Well, it's not like you are in any position to stop her from going now," I say reasonably. "But you are in a position to control their interaction. Why don't you give her a call and offer to give her a lift?"

"Do you think she'll accept?"

"Didn't you just tell me that she has no transportation right now?" I remind him. "Besides, it will give you the opportunity to gauge her feelings about you without showing your own feelings. You can approach her as a friend who just wants to give her a hand."

"Do you think that she'll buy it?" he asks.

Now I smile.

"She'll buy it if she wants to," I say. "And then at least you'll know if there's a chance that you will get her back. That is if you really want her back."

"Of course, I want her back," he says indignantly.

"But she did run out on you after you punished her," I say. "You haven't changed your mind about that, have you?"

"Oh, Elena, I just don't know," he admits. "I saw Flynn today and he told me that if I want to be with her that I may have to give up some of the more extreme aspects of the lifestyle. I . . . I don't know if I can."

Oh, brother! What is it with Flynn? Doesn't her realize that he can't change Christian? And that Christian can't change himself? But sooner or later he's going to talk him into going back to her. I had better make sure that it is on my terms.

"Do you want to at least try?" I finally ask.

"But what if I can't?" he asks in return. "I don't want to hurt her again."

"Well, Christian," I say sharply. "For once, you can't have it both ways. And right now you're barely in a fit state for doing anything. And I'm willing to bet that your mother is very worried about you."

"Yes," he admits. "That's why she called. I don't think that I can bear it if she asks about Ana one more time."

"Well then, Christian," I say bluntly. "Shit or get off the pot before you drag anyone else into your miserable state. Poor Grace! I'm going to have to call her up and try to console her. Do you want me to say anything to her?"

Once again, there is silence. Boy, he really is mixed up.

"No, don't say anything too detailed," he finally replies. "But do offer her comfort. I hate to think that I am causing her any grief."

"Don't worry, I will take care of it," I say soothingly. "You take care of yourself and I'll worry about Grace. She is my dearest friend, you know."

"Yes, I know," he answers. "You're my best friend also. Honestly, Elena, I don't know what we would do without you."

I don't know either, I think to myself after I hang up. Who would have thought that the indestructible Christian Grey could end up so sappy over a mousy little bookworm. I actually hope that he does take her down to Portland. And maybe she will go running into the arms of her good friend. Wouldn't that be a kick?

But then, Christian would come running back here to me for comfort. And who knows what possibilities that might hold?