Tea on Tuesday at Four 7
Chapter 7
Grace
It's over. I thought that we were friends for life. I thought that we shared a special bond because she loved my son as much as I did. The depth of her betrayal is beyond anything that I could have imagined from anyone. I hope that I never see Elena Lincoln again. The extent of her evil manipulations is endless. I am still in the state of shock since last night.
This was to have been the night of our triumph. After all these years of fretting and worrying for my poor son, it should have been the moment of victory. Instead, my joy has been undercut by the knowledge that for six years, she was having an affair with my son. If that wasn't enough to make me sick, the knowledge that it began when he was only fifteen years old, a mere child, has very nearly made me lose all faith in humanity.
Was he to blame as well, as he claims? I am disgusted by the fact that she initiated it when he was so young, but what I cannot fathom is how it continued for all those years. I would have thought that once he went away to college, that that would have been the end of it. But no, he returned to her on every vacation and holiday. Then, he gave up his university education and continued for another year until Linc found out.
I still have so many unanswered questions. I know that she approached Christian at one of the most vulnerable points in his life. She knew it and she knew all of his weak points. What was the hold that she had over him? It can't possibly be that there sexual relationship made him feel good about himself. In fact, as I recall, he was filled with just as much self-loathing during those years as he was during any other time of his life.
The scene that I interrupted was one of the most horrific of my life. There they were, Ana, Christian, and Elena, standing in the dining room. Poor little Ana looked ill. She didn't seem to know who or where to look. In fact, she looked like she wanted to be anywhere other than where she was. Christian looked like he had just been run over by a truck. And of course he had, a truck named Elena Lincoln. She stood there looking like she never had before. In fact, if I wasn't so furious, I might have been afraid if her myself.
I heard, rather than saw the previous exchange. Mia had told me that she had left Ana in the dining room with one of Carrick's cocktails and I was concerned that Ana might not realize how powerful it was. The door was half open and I could see Christian partially in the threshold from down the hallway. For a moment, I was frozen, not believing his words.
"I've told you before," he shouted. "This is none of your fucking business!"
Who was he talking to so crudely, yelling at so furiously?
"What?" His voice rang with anger, fury, and outrage.
It couldn't possibly be Ana. I recovered myself and moved closer because his voice and the one answering had dropped. What were they saying? Then I heard Elena's voice.
"I taught you everything you know, everything you need."
What was she talking about? Who else was in there? Then Christian spoke again.
"You taught me how to fuck, Elena. But it's empty like you. No wonder Linc left."
Oh, what was this? What was I listening to? Christian's voice quietly continued.
"You never once held me. You never once said you loved me."
Oh, my Lord! What was he talking about? What had she done to him?
"Love is for fools, Christian," she said in a tone of voice that I had never heard her use before.
I could no longer stand it. I had heard enough. I would not have this woman in my house for one second longer.
"Get of my house!" I roared.
These were the only words that I could manage. Christian and Elena both looked shocked, as Ana cowered off to the side. I was so furious that I was literally seeing red. If I could, I would have killed the bitch right there and then. In an instant, I could see that someone had already stood up to her.
Someone had thrown a drink on her. I barely had time to process this and thought that it must have been Ana, using the cocktail that Mia gave her. I knew that she was a feisty little thing. This gave me the impetus that I needed to make my own attack.
I walked over and slapped Elena so hard across the face that my hand still hurts. Not caring who heard me, I gritted my teeth.
"Take your filthy paws off my son, you whore, and get out of my house - now!"
I don't know who was more shocked at this point. Ana, Christian, Elena, or myself. I would never have thought that I was capable of striking another person, of losing control in this manner. But I just had, and it felt good. Christian and I stared at one another, while poor Ana looked terrified. I told her to leave so that I could speak with Christian alone and she couldn't get out of the room fast enough.
Poor child! This whole thing must have been a terrible shock for her. I knew that I would have to make a point of comforting her later. But at that moment, I didn't know if I wanted to comfort my son or strangle him. It was the second time in two days that he had caused these conflicted feelings in me. Yet, it has always been like this with him.
I love him as my own. I have never wanted to be angry with him and yet there have been times when I couldn't help myself. On Friday night, I was terrified that we had lost him forever and then found out that he just didn't have the courtesy to stop and call. Now, I don't know what to think. I sent Ana from the room so that I could speak with him alone. I want to, I must, protect her from the worst of the details.
"How long, Christian?" I asked.
"Six years," he mumbled, unable able to look me in the eye.
Oh, my . . . My stomach went into free fall and I wanted to wretch, I was so disgusted.
"How old were you? Tell me. How old were you when all this started?"
"Fifteen."
"Fifteen?"
For a moment I couldn't breath. He was a teenager, a mere child. But why did it go on for so long? Yes, Elena clearly took advantage of him, but why didn't he trust me enough to tell me about it? Why did it continue for years? We always knew that his self esteem was almost nonexistent.
Quickly I did the arithmetic in my head. This went on during high school and his years at Harvard. It went on for one year beyond that. It went on until . . .
"Christian," I said, trying hard to control my emotions. "Why did it end?"
"Linc found out," he replied, putting his head in his hands.
"How?" My voice was sharper than I intended. Deep down I suspected that I knew the answer to that question.
Christian looked up at me with dull, almost defeated eyes.
"He came home unexpectedly," he said resignedly. "He found us . . ."
"You don't have to continue," I said quickly. "I've heard enough."
There is a long silence between us.
"Did Ana know?" I finally asked. "Did Ana know before tonight?"
"Yes."
I waited for him to elaborate. God only knows how she found out. But now it makes sense. I always felt an antagonism between them, Ana and Elena. I could tell that it was emanating from Ana. But then, Elena had always been a pretty cool number, completely unflappable.
"She's forgiven you?" I asked.
"She has nothing to forgive me for," he answered harshly. "It was over years before I met her. The one that she won't forgive is Elena."
"That surprises you?"
"She thinks that Elena was a pedophile or child molester," he replied.
"She's right," I said simply.
"No . . . Mom," he said. "No, it wasn't like that. I . . . I wanted to."
He tried to justify it, but he knows that he can't. He knows that at fifteen he wasn't of an age to know whether her wanted to or not. She was older than him, old enough to be his mother. In fact, I had often thought of her as his second mother. I was too sick at the thought to even ask him. She was a predator and probably still is. Even without knowing why the three of them were alone in this room, I could make an educated guess.
I know that this is just one more byproduct of those horrible early years that he endured with his birth mother. He has never felt worthy of anyone's love. But this. Was this twisted relationship the only one that he felt worthy of? He said it made him stronger, but his career didn't really take off until it was over.
Perhaps, it was my fault. Perhaps I failed to give him enough love to compensate for his early trauma. And I clearly trusted the wrong person. He is just as much a victim of my neglect as her abuse. How could I have been so blind? How could I have fallen for her manipulative lies? Was she always like that? Was our friendship always a ploy to get at my son.
At least he has Ana now. I can see now that she has been fighting to free Christian from whatever hold that Elena must have had on him. They must have had words. It is the only explanation for the fact that she tossed her drink all over her. Good for her! It must have been humiliating for Elena to walk through the house covered in lemon cocktail.
When I had finished my discussion with Christian, I went to find Carrick immediately and tell him. I had to tell someone and he was the first who came to mind. I couldn't talk to the other children about it. And the only friend that I might have entrusted my heartbreak to is now my enemy. There is no forgiving this!
"Carrick," I said urgently, interrupting his conversation about golf handicaps with Claude. "I must speak to you now."
"Excuse me," he replied quickly, accurately reading the anxiety on my face.
"What is it?" he asked sharply, the second we were alone.
We were back in the dining room again, the closest empty room. The same room where the revelation had occurred. At this point, my reserve broke down. I had held it together up to this point, but now the enormity of what I have learned about my son and Elena washed over me like a tidal wave and I burst into tears.
"Grace," he said gently. "Please, get ahold of yourself and tell me what's wrong. Does it have something to do with Christian?"
At my son's name I began to weep harder. Somehow, I had to put into words this awful truth that has come to light. Carrick, completely baffled, took me into his arms and soothed me. Finally calming myself, I was able to speak.
"Carrick," I said. "I have just witnessed one of the most terrible confessions that I have ever heard."
He braced himself.
"Christian had an affair for six years with Elena," I said.
For a moment, my husband was silent.
"When did it end?" he asked.
"When Linc found out," I said, steeling myself for his response. "Right before he divorced Elena."
"No wonder he beat the shit out of her," said Carrick, as he considered my words. "It's no wonder she never pressed charges. Wait a minute! That was nearly seven years ago! How old was Christian . . .?"
He couldn't even finish his question, he was so overcome.
"Fifteen," I said quietly.
"Where is she?" he asked ominously. "She's damn lucky that the statute of limitations has run out, or I'd haul her ass into court faster than you can say child molestation."
"She left," I said. "I . . . I slapped her across the face."
"She's a lucky bitch that she's gone," he growled. "I would have done worse than slap her. In fact, I'm not sure that she would have gotten out of here alive. How did all this come to light?"
"I'm not entirely sure," I answered. "I overheard them arguing, Christian and Elena, not the whole thing, just enough to figure out what it was about."
"Does Ana know?" he asked.
"She was there," I replied. "I don't know where she went. Christian went to go find her. He and I had . . . words. But I think that she stood up to her. It looked as though she had thrown one of your lemon cocktails on her."
"Good for her," he said. "I just hope that this hasn't ruined Christian's chances with her. She's the best thing that ever happened to him."
"I don't think so," I said. "She may have been shellshocked by the news, but I got no indication that she was going to leave him or break it off. But, I thought that you had doubts about them."
"No," he replied. "I got over them five minutes ago. Thank God he has finally escaped Elena's clutches. I am sure that she has something to do with the fact that he hasn't been dating for all these years, at least publicly. What kind of hold did she have over him?"
"He wouldn't say," I replied.
"I can understand letting himself be manipulated as a teenage boy, but he was an adult when it ended," he said in frustration. "And it only ended because Linc caught them. What was he thinking? I thought that we raised him to have higher moral standards where women are concerned. She was a married woman!"
I bit my tongue. It was only this morning that we were discussing our promiscuous older son. Of course, as far as we know, he never was involved with any married women. Still, how did we fail them both so badly?
"Where is Christian?" he finally asked. "I want to have a word with him."
"Dear, you know he has that romantic proposal planned for Ana," I say. "They've been been through enough tonight, enough for now. Let's give him a chance to give her her ring before you confront him."
"What do you suggest we do in the meantime?" he asked.
"I, for one, am going to get drunk for the first time in many years," I replied.
But Carrick didn't get drunk. He told me later that he wanted to have a clear head when he had a man to man talk with his son. I don't know what he said, but Christian was a very unhappy man when they left his den. He and Ana immediately went up to bed. There was no way that I was going to let them, or Elliot and Kate for that matter, drive home after the amount of drinking that had gone on.
So this morning we have just finished breakfast and bid the two couples goodbye. Carrick was still sporting for a fight this morning, this time over a pre-nup. Naturally, Christian said no. Why, it would be the same as admitting that the marriage wouldn't last! However, he has asked to have the wedding here. I am thrilled and Mia is beside herself. I cannot imagine a more wonderful event to plan for.
I suppose that I will have to find a new friend for my Tuesday tea. I have no intention of ever speaking with Elena again. In fact, I will not even attend any social engagements where she is present. I cannot bear the thought of even looking at her now that I know what she did to my son. As far as I am concerned, she is dead. And I hope that she rots in hell.