Title: The Truth About Trees
Author: Tiny Q
E-Mail: one_legged_lesbian_seagull@hotmail.com
A/N: This chapter too was not posted when I intended cause my stupid modem broke. Sorry all. But look! Another chapter! La La La! Well yes, hopefully you will find this entertaining. I like the next chapter much better myself. But that will probably mean you will all hate it. Woe is me. Oh well, it's Christmas holidays so I will hopefully be able to type the next chapter up soon.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Well except that crappy quote down there . . .
The Truth About Trees
Chapter 4
It's All Riddle's Fault!
The truth about trees is that you can't trust them. Sure, if you fall out of one it will give you a revelation but at what cost? Your whole world can be turned upside-down by a simple elevated branch and gravity. Sanity could be lost. Paranoia gained. Or perhaps, if you are lucky, you will learn something about yourself and realize a new piece of your identity. Whatever the cost though, trees are not to be trusted.
~*~
The next few weeks that followed Harry and Hermione's break-up were the worst so far this year. Despite a note from Hermione telling me how relieved and happy she was that the relationship was over, we barely talked. On the other hand Harry seemed to be incapable of shutting up. He always seemed to have something to say about anything. It was as though he were scared to lose his voice if he didn't.
Harry also seemed to be spending a fair amount of time with Neville as opposed to Ron and Hermione. Neville didn't seem to mind in the slightest. The guy's a drifter, going from one group to the next but eventually everyone wants to settle down. Not only Harry's friends were shifting but Ron and Hermione were spending an awful lot of time together. They ignore everyone else except when they are feeling suddenly bad about it.
Halfway through the week before Halloween, Harry and I had a long chat about how things were lately. It was all rather depressing and halfway through the next day I came down with a bad cold. Madame Pomfrey gave me a Pepper-Up potion but it didn't help. The steam that poured out of my ears only gave me a headache. I ended up spending the rest of the week in the infirmary.
I came to the conclusion that everyone who came to visit me was a true friend. I'm not sure exactly where the idea came from, possibly all the potions I was under. Anyhoo, Sara, a girl from my Advanced Medicines class was the first to visit. We've always got along. Next was Colin who spent a lot of time updating me on the day's events. Then Hermione showed up and I almost cried with relief thinking she hadn't forgotten me and that we're still friends.
All she did was complain though. About herself. It wasn't exactly the best visit. Ron showed up a few hours latter, probably out of brotherly obligation. Harry showed up briefly as well, but only to see if I had seen Ron or Hermione around. It seemed as though the two of them had given him the slip.
The oddest visit of all however was Malfoy. He showed up after I had gotten ready to take a nap. He gave me a pile of potions homework to do and said I better get well soon because Snape would dock more marks than he already had. With that, he left. No insults about my appearance or anything.
I was better by Monday and had to work my ass off to catch up on all my work. It had been nice to have a weekend without having to see Harry, Hermione and my brother. I never really realized how worn out the whole ordeal made me until I was lying on that hospital bed not having to deal with it.
The whole of the next week I didn't talk to Hermione. Ron didn't talk much either except when it came to brotherly things like: You're skirts too short. Go change it. On Halloween I found out from Neville that Hermione and Ron were going out. It was quite a shock actually. Ron hadn't said anything. I decided to not say anything to them and wait for them to tell me on their own time. I'm still waiting. I guess so is Harry, though he has his suspicions.
If I thought that I could find help I would have instantly turned to Colin. And I intended to do just that until the middle of last week when he excitedly told me he had a girlfriend. A very pretty Ravenclaw whom I never really noticed. For a while I felt quite hear broken, but I'm not sure why. He was just so happy though and I just couldn't burden him with my problems. They are my own after all. I got myself into this. I will just have to get myself out.
It's a Hogsmead weekend today and I have been trailing behind Ron and Hermione for the past hour. Harry and Neville are doing the same to me. It's so boring. Perhaps if I go running towards that brick wall they'll notice me or at least I'll be put out of my misery. Albeit for a short time. Either way it'll be a change from this damn mundaneity. Is that even a word? See how bored I am?
And there's still an hour to kill before I have to leave. Our new potion is at a critical stage right now. It needs to be stirred constantly so Malfoy and I have been taking two hour shifts all day. We get higher marks if we do it ourselves rather than enchant the ladle to stir. This would be my last one. Then the potion simply has to simmer until Monday then Malfoy and I will be finding out what it's like to see ourselves.
I will be sacrificing Pigwidgeon to test the Gamma potion. It makes clones of whoever's bit is in the potion out of the animal. I really hope Pig doesn't remain looking like Malfoy permanently. It was hard enough trying to explain to Ron why I sounded like the Slytherin, it would be entirely different to explain why his pet looked like him.
"I don't see how you can wear your hair down all the time," Ron was saying to Hermione. As to why my ears suddenly chose to listen to this part of the conversation I don't know. "Doesn't it drive you crazy with it in your face all the time?"
"No," Hermione giggled. "I'm used to it." They paused for a moment then turned around to look at me.
"Why do you wear your hair down all the time?" Ron asked. "You always wore it up during the summer."
"Huh?" I asked in confusion. No one's ever asked me that before let alone my own brother. "What's wrong with leaving my hair down?"
"Nothing," he responded and turned back to Hermione. Fifty-five minutes left. I'm not going to make it. Avada Kadavara me now. Put me out of my misery. Glancing behind me, Harry and Neville are in deep conversation about something. Dean Thomas. Not too entertaining.
"You guys want to get a Butterbeer?" Hermione suddenly called from the front of our small group.
Everyone nodded. I simply shrugged. Might kill a bit of time. Killing time is always good. Very good indeed. So off we went to the Three Broomsticks for a drink. Tasting it I instantly wished it was stiffer. And I don't like alcohol that much. But the conversation was lacking something. Perhaps myself? All four of them were once again talking to each other, leaving me out. Fine.
Forty minutes left. Fuck it. I'm leaving. I stood to leave.
"Ginny, where are you going?" Harry asked, looking up at me.
"I have to stir the potion," I responded, grabbing my bag. "I told you that earlier."
"But you didn't finish your Butterbeer," Neville observed.
"You can have it," I offered and made to leave.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Harry offered moving to stand. "Fend off Malfoy for you?"
"No that's ok," I said hastily. The last thing I need right now is a cock fight. "I can fend him off just fine."
"Well, if you're sure . . ." he said slowly, obviously not trusting my abilities.
"I'm sure. Later." And then I left. The cool outdoor air hit my face and I sighed in relief. Ron and Hermione hadn't even cared that I left. Barely a goodbye. Just a stupid wave from them both. Stupid gits.
They're really starting to piss me off with the whole 'ignore the little sister' bit. It's almost as if I've spent the usefulness I had to break Hermione and Harry up and now I've been tossed aside. If they had that in mind the whole time I'm going to be pissed. If it's intentional then they bloody well used me. Used me to do the dirty. What utter bull.
I stomped my way up the school steps. I didn't even realize I was at the school yet. Either I walked really fast or I was lost in thought for a long time. It was probably a bit of both. I'm twenty minutes early but who cares. I'd rather take Malfoy's insults over the Dream Team's shunning. What do they think I am? A pawn to be used in their stupid lives? Put into place then sacrificed once I have lost my strategic stance? I think I have been playing too much chess with Ron. But then-
"Weasley, what are you doing here?" Malfoy demanded as I walked into the potions room. He was seated on the desk beside the cauldron in which our scarlet potion brewed. There was no one else in the room meaning that the other groups were already finished or hadn't gotten to this stage yet. With that lot it could go either way. "Can't you tell time?"
"Perfectly," I responded and sat myself down on the opposite side of the cauldron. The table creaked a bit but I ignored it.
"Then why are you here so bloody early?" he hissed, pausing in his stirring to look at me. I ignored him and looked at the potion itself. It looked as though it would taste like cherries. Hermione loves cherries.
"Does it matter?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Oh." Then I shrugged. "Too bad I guess, cause I'm not leaving."
He glared at me but remained silent. I didn't attempt to start a conversation deciding to pick a tile on the floor and stare at it. This silent situation wasn't nearly as bad as the one I was in moments before. I don't feel used or neglected here despite the fact Malfoy wasn't talking to me.
"You can't stand it, can you, Weasley?" He said after about five minutes. Scratch the no talking bit.
"Take what?" I asked, turning away from my tile to look at him. I think I would have preferred the tile.
"Them. Potter and his gang," he elaborated.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I responded stiffly. What did he care anyway? To him I'm just another Weasley.
"Oh come off it," he snapped. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."
I looked at him coldly. He looked at me impassively. Stupid dolt. I opened my mouth to tell him off. But instead of insults the entire story started to issue forth from my mouth. I don't know why, but it did. All of it. From the secrets to my feelings. Malfoy remained silent through the entire thing, his eyes not leaving my face.
"And so I left," I concluded, not looking at him. My face was burning. How could I have said all that? To him?! A Malfoy! He's going to laugh! He's going to insult me, tell me I'm stupid for getting involved. Oh life is shit.
But the wave of insults and jabs never came. In fact, he didn't respond at all. So I pulled my head up and looked at him. He was looking back at me with a slight frown, obviously lost in thought. I waved my hand before his eyes. He started and looked at me properly.
"So that's the whole story?" he asked finally, still stirring the potion.
"Yeah," I responded then looked at his hands. "Why don't you let me take over?" After a moment he passed me the handle of the spoon and I began to stir. The potion was thin. Almost ready to simmer. Half-hour maybe.
"Well it couldn't have been much fun to hang around them anyway," Malfoy said after a moment, now watching my hands stir.
"Lately it hasn't," I admitted. "They really don't do much if they have no mystery to solve. Just hang about like lumps on the couch. Suppose it comes with being heroes." The last part came out with more bitterness than I wanted.
"If you weren't having fun then what's the big deal Weasley?" he drawled. I looked at him. Why was I telling him everything?
"Because I'm sick of being used," I hissed quietly, reflecting five years back. It had been his father that started the whole cycle. With that bloody diary and Tom Riddle inside. Ever since he used me to open the Camber of Secrets I've had some sort of inferiority complex. I thought I had gotten over it but obviously I hadn't. I let Harry and Co walk right over me just as I let the girls in my dorm do and multiple others.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked seriously.
I wonder if he knows what happened to me in the Chamber. Few people do and I don't like to share. It wasn't exactly the pinnacle of my life. He probably heard all about it from his father the bloody wanker.
"Nothing," I sighed. I really didn't want to go through the whole story. I'd already said enough. "Forget I said anything."
"You shouldn't say things unless you plan to elaborate on them, Weasley," he said tiredly as though those same lines had been repeated to him for a long time. I wonder if it was his father as well.
"I'll keep that in mind." I paused in my stirring and looked down. The potion no longer gave any resistance to the spoon and was now a light pale purple. "I think it's ready to simmer," I said with mild surprise. It shouldn't be at this stage yet. Looking at my watch I realized that that half hour had already passed. Time flies.
Malfoy lowered the heat of the fire under the cauldron. All we had to do now was let it simmer until Monday's class when we could test it.
We sat there for a few minutes in silence. I began to feel immensely uncomfortable and rose to my feet. "I'll see you later," I said quietly and left.
~*~
Weasley's last statement left me reeling. Even after retiring to my bed a few hours later I find myself staring up at the canopy, my curtains drawn shut. What did she mean by she's sick of being used?
Potter and Granger did a pretty good job of it recently but she implied that it had happened more than once. She didn't seem like the type of girl who would stand to be pushed about. In fact she has proven it to me by never backing down in our little fights.
But perhaps she meant more subtle usage. Like how I use Crabbe and Goyle. Come to think of it, the girl doesn't seem to have many friends. A few acquaintances that would sit by her during meal times or in the library but they never stayed around if someone else showed up. I've observed this over the past few months.
Even that kind of usage wouldn't leave such a deep imprint though. No. Something bigger must have happened. Something worse. But what? A failed relationship? Abusive boyfriend? What could it be? And I doubt she will tell me. But then she told me all about Potter and his girlfriend-
But then why is this getting to be so important to me? Don't I have a life? Come to think of it, I don't. Insulting people and being an arrogant little bastard used to be my old hobby. Now that that's over with I need something to fill the void. But why a Weasley? I suppose it's better that it's the female version over the male. But still. A Weasley! Father will kill me if he finds out.
Eventually I managed to fall asleep. I had an odd dream about potions and the Forbidden Forest but was awoken by Crabbe asking for homework that I forgot. It's nearly impossible to remember a dream if your sleep is disrupted. Stupid dolt.
It's Sunday today and the Slytherin System of Cheating has once again begun. Have these people no shame? Obviously not. I don't even know why I bother.
Everywhere I look my housemates are screaming at each other or fighting. I honestly don't understand it. How hard is it to do your homework?
Standing there I suddenly felt very alone. I had nothing in common with these people except cunning. I am sincerely beginning to doubt that they even have that. Do other houses act like this? I doubt it. What would life be like if I had been sorted into a different house? Would I have real friends, not these retards?
Father probably would have disowned me. But then I wouldn't have to worry about my on coming inauguration into the Death Eater ranks. I wouldn't have any money either, but then, the Weasleys have no money and they always seem so happy.
Maybe it would inspire me to know what to do with my life. At the moment I'm still at a loss. All I know for sure is that I don't want to be an instrument for someone else's dream. That narrows down my options. A lot. I don't think there is such a career. What does it take to be happy in this bloody world?
Looking around the madness before me I felt my spirits drop farther. With a growl in my mind I stormed out of the Portrait hole and headed in the general direction of the library. Perhaps there would be something in there that could help me. Insanity is not far off if I don't figure things out.
Passing by a window I realized just how wonderful a day it was. Wonderfully gloomy that is. Summoning my cloak via a summoning charm I headed quickly for the main doors. Perhaps some air would do me good. At the very least it would clear my mind. If only for a little while.
It was colder out than it looked from the window. But then we were into November. Snow would be coming soon and with it Christmas. I still hadn't figured out how I was going to stay at the school and ditch Crabbe and Goyle. Maybe I could-
"Hey Malfoy," someone called. It was Weasley's voice. I looked around but I couldn't see her anywhere. "Up here," she called and I looked up. There she was, hanging from a tree branch by both knees. I hadn't even realized I was near the lake.
"What are you doing up there?" I called up, walking closer to the tree so I wouldn't have to yell. She was about ten feet above the ground.
"I'm waiting for another revelation," she explained. "I need to find direction for my life. The only way I know how to do that is by falling out of a tree. It doesn't seem to be happening though."
I stared up at her and wished I was up there as well. Perhaps falling out of a tree again would help me. Merlin knows I need it. But then what did she know about revelations and trees?
"Well, aren't you going to tell me how stupid I am?" she asked, looking down at me. Her hair seemed to be double its normal length, catching in the clouded light.
"No," I responded simply.
That made her fall. Head first she plummeted to the ground like a dewinged angel. With that quickness that seemed to present itself around her, I caught her. She looked up at me wide-eyed as I held her securely in my arms. Well this is cozy. Ugh. Did I just think that about a Weasley?
"Why'd you do that?" she demanded softly. Good question. "And what do you know about revelations and trees?"
"Been there, done that," I responded simply. Why did I just tell her that? "And the way you were falling the only revelation you were going to have was a broken neck."
We stared at each other for a moment. A funny feeling was tugging at my insides. A funny feeling that was vaguely familiar and not exactly unpleasant. I did the only thing I could do: I set her on her feet and stepped back.
She looked rather disappointed. Despite my reasoning, I felt it. I don't even want to think about what that means. Don't make me.
"So what are you doing out here?" she asked after a minute or so of awkward silence. "Shouldn't you be doing your homework?"
"Finished already," I responded, looking at her. There was something different about her that I didn't notice last night. Her cloak was hanging form a lower tree branch and she stood there clad in low-rise flares and a blue long sleeved shirt. Then it struck me. She had lost weight. A lot of it. I could see her collar bones sticking out from under her shirt. She had been slim before but now she was borderline unhealthy.
"Me too," she responded, going to fetch her cloak and putting it back on. That was why I hadn't noticed it before. She was wearing her cloak yesterday and the cloak hid her apparent weight loss. I frowned slightly. "Everyone in my house is still working on theirs so I left."
"And then you go the bright idea to fall out of a tree," I sneered slightly. We started walking around the lake, brushing shoulders every now and then.
"I guess you could put it that way," she conceded softly, down casting her head. Her long, fire-red hair blocked her face from view like a shield. She often did that in class when she was sick of talking.
After walking in silence for a few minutes I finally asked the question that had been nagging at me all last night: "Weasley, what did you mean yesterday?"
"Huh?" she asked in confusion, lifting her head to look at me. Her brown eyes revealed that she was dreading what I was about to ask. I asked anyway.
"About being used," I elaborated. Her eyes widened slightly. She must have guessed right.
"What do you care?" she sneered, her eyes narrowing. "What's it to you?" Is it that bad?
"It's bothering me," I confessed before I realized what I was saying. Why? Why can I never keep anything in around her? "I want to know."
She looked at me through narrow eyes. It was as though she was trying to read my mind and find the plot I had to bring about her downfall. Finally she closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. With a deep breath she lowered them and looked at me. This time there was no venom in her features.
"You know about the Chamber of Secrets right?" she asked seriously. I frowned. What could that possibly have to do with anything?
"Yeah. It was reopened five years ago," I responded, trying to keep my confusion out of my voice. "Wasn't some girl taken down there and Potter saved her?" After I said it I realized what was coming next. She needn't have told me.
"Yes. And that some girl was me," she hissed slightly, eyes clouding over as though remembering it.
Why did I have to be right? Why couldn't I have been wrong? "How did you get mixed up into that?"
"You're father gave me a diary that contained Tom Riddle's sixteen year old memories," she explained after a moment and I felt my heart stop. My father? "And me being the fool I am I trusted it and he eventually took me over and made me do terrible things."
"What?" I gasped. I hadn't been expecting that. "That bastard!"
"Who? Riddle?" she asked in confusion.
"No. My father," I hissed. I could feel the anger burning inside me. "I hate that man! How could he try and ruin your life like that? What a coward! I hate him!"
"I though you idolized him," she whispered, looking at me wide-eyed. She obviously hadn't been expecting the outburst. Can't say I blame her.
"Not anymore," I assured her. "I had a revelation a couple of years ago. I want to be nothing like him."
She remained silent looking at me. Well it all made sense now. My father was behind it all. My bloody, god damn, fucking father. How many lives did he plan to ruin before his own was over? Was that his goal in life? Make others miserable? Create as much misery as he could? The bloody-
"How did you get the revelation?" she asked quietly, brining my thoughts back to the situation at hand.
"It's stupid really," I responded after a moment. "But then perhaps not to you." She looked at me expectantly. "I fell out of a tree," I finally sighed.
"What kind?"
"Oak," I said off-handedly. Her yes widened.
"Me too," she whispered. "Creepy." After a moment she spoke again: "Well Malfoy, I guess we have more in common that I initially thought. I do think your revelation was a good one to have though. Nothing stupid about it at all." She smiled at me with a smile that lit up her eyes. I felt that feeling again. Perhaps it was a good thing to have come out her after all.
~*~
A/N: Well once again I have managed to bring Riddle into another one of my fics. ~sigh~ And I know it's so over done. But what can I say? It's interesting to me. Oh well. Next chapter will not be as focused on Ginny as much. It's Dracy time! He He He!
Many thankies to: Darcel(Thank you), T.H(Why thank you! ~blushes~ I love making cliffy's myself. SO much fun! But the whole death thing is a little creepy. ~sigh~), seekerpeeker(I would be Draco's friend. If only he was real), VirtualFaerie(Well that's an interesting word), Sharlene(Uh, no comment!), Weasley Pride(It's a bitch, isn't it??), Jade Stellar(Why must people always put their friends in this bloody situation? Why?! Ah, sorry.), Mytsie-Sama(Trust me, I'm not either. Like that Cassandra Claire story? I love it, but I just don't like H/Hr, oh well. Can't wait for the comic though! Yeah!), Eleoopy(The analysis thing will come into play a bit latter. Don't you worry. And Snape is picky! Picky Snape. He He He), tulzdavampslayertimes 2(Trees are great. And that image will be coming soon. Don't you worry.), rhapsody in pink(I don't like her either. My friend really doesn't like her and I think that's why I have made her so detestable. Herm's really not that bad in the books, right?), liltrick89(Sorry about the soon part), Katie Crickett(Thank you), Lallie(Honey, this is my story and I will hurt all the books I want! Ha! ~Tiny Q stabs a copy of the green book with the legs on it~ I never liked that one anyway.), VirtualFaerie uh, again(Well it seems that we are both in the same position then. But I don't see why you would want to write like me. And yes, smiling does improve your complexion, though I found the old bookmark where I read it and it's supposed to be your face value, but that's just stupid. :~) I think I'm going to start carrying spoons. My school's hazardous) and Sad Strange Little Girl(Well, that was odd. A Room With a Moose?!?! That was stuck in my head all night I hope you know!)
Reviews would be oh-so-nice! ~grin~ Please??
Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year!!