How to Break a Mask
Author: Kinomi Akai
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would be an 18+ anime. Hot diggity.
Summary: An incident at the festival on Oct. 10th reveals that there is a lot that everyone doesn't know about Naruto. Smart!Naruto, Sasunaru/Narusasu, Rated M to be safe
Pairings: Sasunaru/Narusasu, mentions of KakaIru.
Warnings: Shonen-ai, yaoi, boy x boy, whatever to want to call it.
Author's Note:
"Blah" – talking
'blah' – thinking
'blah' – Kyuubi talking
Last time:
A quiet calm had settled over the area, now. Their relationship had become only stronger from their shared determination to protect Naruto. Neither man could blame the other, for both had failed their charge.
And both would rather die than fail him again.
Chapter 10: The Uchiha Household
After Sakura had barged in, they were quickly joined by Kakashi and Iruka. It wasn't long afterwards that Hinata came to offer her clan's support. The team working to avenge Naruto's hurt grew to all those he had affected, and all those who cared for him. It was incredible how many ninjas came together, no matter their feelings towards each other, to support the blonde.
And his friends had not only physical power, but political power. It was their combined efforts that allowed the trials to be scheduled a mere month later. The plans had been treated with the utmost seriousness, and, as such, the trials were a complete shock to those being questioned.
Needless to say, the news of several consecutive trials of upstanding members of society was big news. It took about half an hour of Naruto being out of his house to hear about it.
It took him about half a minute to connect the names to the faces.
Suddenly, the kindness he had been treated with, the absence of important missions, the disappearance of Sasuke, the preoccupied sense he felt from his friends - they all made sense. And it was so blindingly obvious now, Naruto felt like an absolute moron for not realizing it before.
But was it so obvious? Revenge, for his sake? The dead-last, the moron, the number one most annoying ninja...
Naruto stood still for a few minutes as a cold hand gripped his heart in fear, while warmth spread throughout his body at the thought of being cared for.
'A month later, and all of them on the same day, too. This was meticulously planned out.'
Naruto tried desperately to stifle the smile that threatened to break out on his face. It seemed the warmth was winning against his fear.
'How long has it been since I've felt like this?' Sasuke thought to himself, as he willed his heart to slow its furious beating and the butterflies within him to stop ramming themselves against the walls of his stomach. He couldn't stop pacing. He felt so useless.
He knew, obviously, that he couldn't go bursting into a trial that had nothing to do with him. He specifically made it so that none of them had anything to do with Naruto, and therefore, a teammate of his had no say in them, no matter who the teammate was.
Naruto.
Sasuke's pacing stopped as he let out a long breath. He hadn't seen the blonde boy since they fought. The time had raced by, Sasuke so fully focused on revenge that he hadn't thought to go talk to him again. But that wasn't the only reason.
Sasuke grimaced. He had learned his lesson about unhealthy obsessions with vengeance and justice long ago. He knew he could get a little obsessive about the things he cared about; he just wasn't too comfortable admitting to himself exactly how much he cared about Naruto.
The fact that his blood boiled in the same furious way when he thought of Naruto's pain as it had when he saw Itachi scared him.
'Am I ready to care so strongly for something again?'
But it didn't matter if he was ready or not, because the feelings were there. He couldn't ignore them anymore.
They had always had a mutual understanding. An understanding about the pain of being alone, and an understanding about the different ways they handled it. They argued and insulted each other. Naruto would ramble on, and Sasuke would pretend to ignore him. But they weren't alone, and that was what mattered. They treated each other like a friend, instead of like an orphaned friend. Even Sakura, who had known them for years, would sometimes switch from lovesick eyes to a gaze filled with pity.
Sasuke hated pity.
And Naruto must have known that, because he had never seen the blonde boy ever offer it to him.
It was with that thought that Sasuke left his house. He had to get out of here; he had to go do something. And, well, if he happened on a certain blonde with three whisker-like marks on each cheek, then that would just be a bonus.
"Dobe."
Naruto whirled around to see something he wouldn't forget for a very long time.
Sasuke Uchiha, the stoic, ice-cold bastard, was staring at him, and he was practically smiling. Not one of his usual smirks, not a slight upturn of the corners of his mouth to pass as a smile, but a full-blown, no-doubt-about-it smile.
He must have noticed the way Naruto was staring at him, because it faltered. Naruto found himself missing it.
"Sasuke-teme!" He responded, finally. "Don't scare me like that!"
The Uchiha paused for a moment. "It's been a while since you called me that." He thought out loud.
Naruto made a noise, as he looked away. "It's been a while since I've seen you."
"Hn." Sasuke conceded. After a moment, he continued. "Where are you going?"
"To train," Naruto grinned. "Wanna spar?"
"Bring it on."
And just like that, things were back to normal.
Well, kind of.
"Teme! I'll win next time!" Naruto said, from his very threatening position of lying on his back.
The black-haired boy in question rolled over from his formerly similar position, to one where he was facing Naruto. Propping himself up on his elbows, he spoke quietly, "Is that you talking, or that mask you put up?"
Naruto's wide grin faltered, and he swallowed nervously. But Sasuke didn't seem to need a reply.
"You don't need to pretend around me, usuratonkachi."
Blue eyes met dark grey.
"Sasuke! There you are." A voice startled them both. "Ah! And Naruto too, hi." Sakura suddenly seemed more reserved.
Sasuke sat up, followed quickly by Naruto. "What is it, Sakura?"
"U-um," she bit her lip slightly, but continued nonetheless. "The trials have finished."
Grey eyes flickered to Naruto, but Sasuke was not a patient man.
"And?" He spoke urgently.
The pink-haired girl shared a relieved smile with her former crush. "Guilty. All guilty."
Sasuke's answer was a wide smirk as he laid back down to look at the sky. Naruto was glancing back and forth between them, as if unable to believe their exchange was real. It was this disbelief that gave Sakura the courage to sit down on Naruto's other side. She followed Sasuke's example, and looked up at the sky with a smile.
Naruto shook slightly, his eyes starting to sting. A lump formed in his throat and he blinked furiously. His teammates were simultaneously offering him comfort and privacy, after they had worked to get justice for him. And they had succeeded. He hugged his knees to himself, hiding his face and silently memorizing this moment.
He felt a hand on his knee, and looked up at Sakura. Her green eyes were scanning him carefully, but her smile didn't falter. Perhaps misunderstanding the reason for his turbulent emotions, she spoke, "You were never mentioned in any of the trials." Her smile turned slightly mischievous. "Sasuke made sure of that."
The loss of the "-kun" suffix did not go unnoticed, but Sasuke's answering stare-down, although not quite a glare, was more of a result of her giving away how far he had gone to protect Naruto.
The blonde boy in question was fighting a fierce blush.
Sakura raised an eyebrow in response to Sasuke's stare before she looked away again. She didn't remove her hand. She made sure neither boy could see her smile widen into a smirk when Sasuke stubbornly placed his hand on Naruto's other knee.
'If I can't have Sasuke for myself, then I'll make damn sure he gets who he truly wants.' Although it made her uncomfortable, she had forced herself to admit her true feelings; she had never really wanted Sasuke because of his personality, or even his looks. She had wanted the acknowledgment that would come with being chosen by the picky Uchiha heir. But she had been selfish. She had been stupid and vapid, and there was no place for a woman like that on Team 7. And, although there was a place for Sasuke in her heart, it was a place for friendship, nothing more.
Naruto had frozen slightly when Sasuke had moved his hand to Naruto's knee. Had he turned to look at him, he would have seen the Uchiha's skin redden. Sasuke was tried to fight down a heated blush, but his pale skin only made it more obvious. He hadn't realized how possessive he was over the tanned boy until Sakura had moved to touch him. Sasuke felt a bubble fill up his chest at the sight, and before he knew it, he had moved to do the same.
His grey eyes were now fixed on the grass below him as he fought to keep his stance relaxed. That bubble had been jealousy. He had been jealous of Sakura. Why?
She had touched Naruto. Affectionately. The very thought made him want to hiss.
'I care for Naruto. Why would I be upset at someone else doing the same? Shouldn't I want him to be happy?' But the thought of Sakura and Naruto happy, together, without him, send a vicious pain through his chest. 'Is it loneliness? Am I afraid they would leave me behind?'
He thought for a moment. 'But no...up until a month ago, I couldn't have cared less for Sakura. So perhaps it's only Naruto. But Naruto is affectionate by nature...' He mused.
The subject of his thoughts suddenly stretched out, and laid down with his eyes closed. His teammates watched him for a moment, before his deep breathing made it clear that he had quickly fallen asleep.
Sakura grinned at Sasuke, before standing. "Well!" She said, "I think I can trust you to handle it from here, ne?" And with that, she left the clearing.
Sasuke watched her for a moment, before turning back to Naruto. 'I should take him somewhere to get a better sleep, but where? His apartment was a mess, and hardly safe,' Sasuke nearly growled at the thought of Naruto's sparse and broken-down apartment. His expression cleared as he looked back at the sleeping blonde boy. Looking at his peaceful face, Sasuke came to a decision.
When Naruto awoke, he groggily looked around before he realized he had no idea where he was. How did he get in a bed? The last thing he remembered was falling asleep with his teammates beside him...
Ah, his teammates.
This must be one of their houses. Despite knowing them for years, he hadn't been to any of their homes. He sat up, looking around himself. The room was fairly big, sparse, and clean. It barely looked lived-in, to be honest.
'Probably Sasuke, then.'
A moment passed before his brain caught up to him, and his heart gave an aggressive thump. 'I was sleeping in Sasuke's bed.'
'Hmm, I wonder what the Uchiha wears in bed.'
Naruto froze as images assaulted his mind of the black-haired boy in various states of undress. He fought down the heat in his face, cursing the fox inside him for causing the influx.
'Kyuubi, what the hell!'
Wisely, Kyuubi kept silent. He would let Naruto discover his feelings on his own.
Naruto shook his head, and opened the door, peering out into the hallway.
"You're awake," Sasuke said as he approached the door.
Naruto looked at him. "You brought me to your house?"
"Hn." Sasuke shrugged. "I've been to your apartment." He pointed out.
Naruto's large blue eyes scanned the walls around them, before he turned back to Sasuke. They quietly looked at each other for a moment.
"Isn't it hard to live here?" Naruto broke the silence, his voice small and hesitant.
Sasuke stilled. Emotions flashed across dark grey eyes as they stared at Naruto.
"Sorry, I didn't...I mean, I-" Naruto stuttered sheepishly, raising his hand to scratch the back of his head. His bright eyes lowered to the floor, and he swallowed as the silence seemed to swell inside the room.
"It is."
Naruto looked up at the black-haired boy with wide eyes. He had his head tilted to the side, his grey eyes never leaving Naruto. Then tanned boy swallowed nervously.
"Then why...?"
"I have no where else to go." Naruto watched Sasuke's head turn skyward. His spiked, black hair was highlighted by the light shining through the window, and his pale features were only enhanced by the sun. "And either way, I have to live with the memories. This way, I'm forced to face them. I can't allow myself to forget, or get soft."
Naruto looked down at the hardwood floor. He refused to acknowledge the lump in his throat, but his voice came out much quieter than he intended. "But you don't allow yourself to move on, either..."
Sasuke's eyes closed, and his head rolled back down before they opened again. Naruto saw the movement, but didn't look up. He didn't want to see the Uchiha angry at him right now. Naruto knew he was pushing a sensitive topic, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. His mouth was dry and he forced himself to swallow again in an attempt to get it back to normal, before he spoke again.
"What's it like?" Naruto asked, finally lifting his eyes to meet the turbulent grey ones.
"What's what like?"
"Having memories of a family."
Sasuke stared at him, as if the possibility of having anything else had never occurred to him. His obsidian eyes bore into Naruto's as he struggled to organize his thoughts.
"It's...painful." He started. Naruto nodded, and took a step closer. There was a spark of desperation in his sky blue eyes: a fierce need for Sasuke to finish his thought. The Uchiha seemed to read his teammate's eyes correctly, for he continued talking, despite the inner turmoil that the topic caused.
"The memories...sometimes they are pleasant." His eyes were closed and his brow furrowed. "But even my best memories only serve to remind me of everything I lost. Everything that I'll never have again."
"That's not true." Naruto interrupted him. Grey eyes snapped open with a glare, but Naruto was determined. "Wasn't that one of your dreams? To restore your clan? You'll have a family again."
Sasuke stared.
Naruto stared back.
"Things fall apart. That's true. But when they do, you're given a chance to build them back up again." He took a step forward. "Bigger." And another. "Better."
The glint in Sasuke's eyes rose to the challenge. "I will if you will, dobe."
Naruto snapped back out of reflex. "Teme!"
"It's all well and good for you to preach on about moving on, about living how you'd like to," Sasuke advanced on the blonde-haired boy. "Except you don't live that way, do you? You live a lie."
Naruto stepped back.
Sasuke paused, and swallowed. "Whatever," he said, turning around and walking away.
"Don't ignore me!" It came out as a snarl, a much more vicious exclamation than Naruto had intended. But it had the correct effect: Sasuke spun around with wide eyes.
Now Naruto was on the attack.
"Maybe I do lie," he hissed, "Maybe I act all happy and idiotic when I'm clearly not actually that way. Don't you call me dead-last? Aren't you used to me being this way? Is it not better to hate me than to admit that maybe your perceptions for all of these years have been wrong?" He spat.
"I already told you I would have listened!" Sasuke suddenly screamed back. "I all but admitted that I care for you! Do you not realize that?"
Silence struck the room like thunder. Sasuke stumbled back with a bitter expression.
"Maybe it's you who needs to accept their perceptions have been wrong. Maybe I lie sometimes too. Maybe I've spent the last fucking month trying to get justice for you!"
A/N:
So can I just say how much I love all of you? Everyone is so supportive and sweet! All the reviews and PMs...I'm absolutely giddy when I read through them all. Keep it up and my ego will be through the roof! Gah!
So, originally, I thought this story was kind of coming to a close. But, as I write, I've kind of realized that Sasuke and Naruto still have a bit to go before they sort out their relationship. I'm considering adding some lemons to flavour the story...don't get me wrong, though, they're not just going to argue and then start making out. I want a bit of a slower romance. Do you agree? Smut or no smut? How is my writing? Let me know!
I LOVE YOU AAAALLLLL
- Kinomi