I wasn't going to write a fic for Draco's birthday, so you have Lady China to thank for this. You're lucky I was in a generous mood. ^_~

Birthday Wishes and Questionable Kisses

Draco Malfoy did not like birthdays. This may come as a surprise to you since birthdays, as we know, are the only time where one actually has an excuse to be a spoilt brat; however, though the blond did enjoy the presents, undivided attention, and general pleasure of knowing the fifth of June was all about him, there was one thing he did not like: birthday kisses.

You see, Draco Malfoy was a very attractive young man, and it seemed that on his birthday every woman in the vicinity seized on the excuse of giving him a birthday wish in order to give him that most coveted birthday kiss. And if there was one thing Draco Malfoy loathed, it was having those hideous harpies put their soul-sucking lips near his face. If he was lucky, he managed to get the lip-stick smeared mouths just to graze his cheek, but often he was not lucky, and the resulting defilement left much to be desired.

Draco wouldn't have minded so much if it was just the pretty ones who gave him a kiss, but it was all them: fat women, old women, thin women, young women—even women so large and brutish that he was not entirely sure if they were women. They waited for him around corners like hunting lionesses and then pounced when he least expected it, taking him so much by surprise that he barely had time to gather his wits in order to fend off their unwanted advances. It was horrifying, and that was why, this year, Draco was seen to be sneaking around the work area like an agent in a bad spy movie. He'd be damned if he'd let those sex-deprived wenches assault him again just because he was one year older.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

Draco, who had his back pressed against the wall in order to peer around to see if the coast was clear, jumped at the sound of the feminine voice and turned his head to see Ginny Weasley frowning at him. He sighed in relief; here was one female at least who would never try to kiss him just because it was his birthday.

"Ginevra," he greeted, stepping away from the wall. "I didn't see you there."

"Clearly," she said dryly. "You were too busy playing James Bond."

"What?"

"Never mind," she said, rolling her eyes. "It's a Muggle thing."

"Right," Draco responded, drawling out each letter.

Ginny folded her arms. "So who are you hiding from?"

"Hiding?" He forced a laugh. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I was just—" He floundered for a suitable lie (he certainly wasn't going to admit he actually was hiding from his female workmates; she'd never let him live down the embarrassment).

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "Just what?"

"Never you mind. That's my business."

"Right," she said, echoing his own drawling tones. "So you were hiding."

"No, I was just—"

Draco paled as he heard the distinct sound of heels clicking against the linoleum floor. Judging from the snappy little Tip Tap, it was Veronica Appleby, that horrible blonde from the Transportation Department who liked to look at him like he was a particularly juicy piece of meat—a meat he knew she'd love to sink her teeth into. Draco grabbed Ginny by her shoulders.

"Don't let her find me!" he whispered, throwing pride to the winds. He'd do anything to avoid being trapped in Veronica Appleby's perfectly manicured claws.

Ginny gave a decidedly malicious smile. "But I thought you weren't hiding from anyone."

He scowled. "Why you treacherous little—"

The Tip Tap of heels stopped. Draco froze, his face draining of colour so he looked as pearly as a ghost.

"There you are!" Veronica exclaimed in a voice dripping with well-rehearsed sexiness. "I've been looking all over for you, Draco Malfoy. Don't think I don't know what day it is."

Repressing the urge to flee with his tail between his legs, Draco turned to face the blonde, resigned to his fate. "Oh, I never doubted you'd forget, Veronica," he said with feigned politeness. "You're always so committed."

As he talked, he surreptitiously eased himself behind Ginny so that the redhead was standing between himself and the other woman. Just because he'd missed his chance to escape didn't mean he was going to make things easy for that Harpy of Nightmares.

Veronica smiled, revealing a row of surprisingly sharp teeth. "Well, it is your special day, Draco." She took a step forward, and he could see by the hungry glint in her eyes that she fully intended to grab him and kiss him. "It's only fitting I pay my respects to the birthday boy."

"I'd rather you not," Draco responded, placing a hand on Ginny's shoulder and holding her out like a shield against the blonde. "Ginevra and I have some things to discuss, you see."

"We do?" Ginny asked, turning her head back to look at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

He tightened his grip. "Yes, Ginevra, we do."

Veronica licked her lips. "Oh, I'm sure Weasley here won't mind if I steal your time for a few seconds." She looked at him innocently. "I only want to wish you happy birthday."

Ginny gave an inelegant snort. "Sure you do."

Draco stepped back as Veronica took another step forward, pulling Ginny with him since he was still holding her out like a shield. "I can receive your birthday wishes quite easily from here, Veronica."

"But that's not as fun," she pouted.

"Well, I guess that's your loss," Draco said bluntly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Ginevra and I have to go do some, er, business."

Without waiting for the blonde's response, he turned and dragged Ginny down the hallway, hurrying as fast as his legs could carry him all the way back to their office. He slammed the door shut behind them and locked it, letting out a deep breath as he realised he was safe for now.

"What in earth was that all about?" Ginny demanded, barely managing to contain her chuckles.

"It's my birthday."

"Yes, Draco, I did gather that."

"Well, Ginevra, when it's my birthday all the women in this place go crazy and think it is their mission to give me a birthday kiss. Even old Doris managed to snog me last year, and she wasn't wearing her teeth at the time!"

He shuddered at the memory. He still had nightmares about that gummy mouth.

Ginny gave a derisive snort as she perched on the edge of his desk. "I don't know why they'd want to kiss you."

She said it as if he was some kind of repulsive creature, like a Blast-Ended Skrewt.

Draco straightened haughtily. "Unlike you, Ginevra, some women actually have taste. I can't help it they can't resist my dashing good looks and debonair ways."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Perhaps you should try to be less dashing and debonair then, Mr I'm-So-Wonderful; those women might leave you alone that way."

"I can't change the way I was made."

She gave another snort. "Right."

"You're lucky you're not a dragon, Ginevra. You'd end up shooting flames with the way you're snorting about lately."

Ginny folded her arms, staring at him in a mixture of exasperation and amusement. "What kind of comeback is that?"

"A very witty one."

"And here I thought you couldn't get any more delusional."

Draco ignored her; he had gone back to brooding about his current predicament.

"I knew I should have called in sick," he muttered, leaning his head back against the door. "Those women are never going to leave me alone."

"Oh, come on, Draco. It can't be that bad."

"But it is, Ginevra! It is! You saw Veronica—they're all bloody like that. I can't even leave this office without being accosted by some horrid female wanting to kiss me."

"Well, you know what the solution is, don't you?"

"What?"

"Become ugly. Or throw yourself off a bridge. I'd recommend the latter. You'll never be troubled by women after that, and I might finally get some peace as well."

Draco rolled his eyes. "You're so comforting, Ginevra. I don't know why I don't come to you for advice more often."

She grinned. "I know. I should be an advice guru."

There was a knock at the door. Draco leapt away from it as though burned.

"Yoo-hoo!" a brassy female voice called. "Mr Malfoy, I've got some papers here for you! And a little something else as well . . ."

"Tisbetha," Draco moaned, backing further from the door. "She was that loud one who managed to corner me last year."

"I take it you didn't enjoy your birthday kiss from Tisbetha?"

He scrunched up his face in distaste. "She managed to shove her tongue in my mouth. I thought I was going to vomit."

Ginny laughed. "Poor baby."

"It's not funny," he retorted, folding his arms crossly. "This is sexual harassment, you know. Not that any of you man-eating women care. Oh, no. It's only harassment if it's the guy doing the harassing."

Knock, Knock, Knock.

"Mr Malfoy, dear. Aren't you going to unlock the door? I know you're in there!"

Draco gripped Ginny by her arms. "Weasley, if you care for me at all, you will not let that beast parading as a witch find me. Please."

He looked so pathetic that even her merciless heart was prickled with compassion.

"Very well. Under the desk with you."

"Thank you!" Draco murmured, and ducked under the desk. It was very uncomfortable—he was a tall man—but if it meant escaping Tisbetha, he was willing to put up with a bit of discomfort and humiliation.

Ginny used her wand to unlock the door. "Come in, Tisbetha."

The door opened and a busty woman with chestnut curls waltzed in. "Now, Mr Malfoy, since I know it's your birthda—" She fell silent when she saw no sign of the blond. "Where's Draco?"

"Oh, he's not here."

Tisbetha frowned. "Really? I could have sworn he just came in here with you."

"Nope. He went for his lunch break. I think he was tired of being attacked."

"Attacked? Who would attack him?"

"Gee, I wonder," Ginny said wryly.

Tisbetha sighed. "That's frustrating. I wanted to be the first to give him his birthday kiss."

"What a shame. I guess you'll just have to try again later." Ginny stood up from the desk. "Now, then, you said you had some papers? I'll take them."

"Oh, no, Ginny. I couldn't let you ta—"

"Please, Tisbetha. It's the least I can do. Besides, Draco and I are partners; I'm sure I am quite capable of taking the papers just this once."

Tisbetha reluctantly relinquished her papers—and her excuse to come and talk to Draco later—and then left the room. Ginny dusted her hands, well satisfied with her efforts, and then glanced back at the desk where Draco was hiding. An amused smile curved her lips.

"You can come out now, little wizard in distress. I have got rid of the nasty monster for you."

"Oh, shut up," Draco muttered, clambering out from under his pokey hiding spot and stretching to ease his cramped muscles.

"What, no thank you? How ungrateful of you."

"I am grateful," Draco said bluntly. "That woman is more frightening than my mother, and that's saying something."

Ginny laughed. "Well, you don't have to worry about her now. Of course, I can't say the same for every other female in the building."

"I'm sure they'll try their best to pounce on me," he said gloomily. "I wouldn't be surprised if they're currently setting up a stakeout outside the men's loo just in case I go that way."

"Aww, poor darling. You really don't enjoy this, do you?"

He shook his head. "It's awful. I can't do anything without being accosted by some psychotic female. You're the only one who doesn't try to kiss me."

"That's because I'm not desperate."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying that only desperate women want to kiss me?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying, Draco."

"I'll have you know, Ginevra, that many women of the highest calibre have sought me as a boyfriend. I'm a very desirable man."

"And egotistical too, it would seem."

"For good reason."

"Oh, really? And what makes you so amazing, Draco?"

"Well, for one, I'm incomparably handsome."

"Yes, I believe you've mentioned that a few times today," Ginny said with an amused smile.

"I'm also rich, have impeccable taste in fashion, and am a good conversationalist."

"My, my! What a fine male specimen you are! I don't know how I didn't see it before!"

He leaned in closer, meeting her eyes with a smirk. "I'm a good kisser as well."

"Are you now?"

"Mhm." He tucked a loose strand of red behind her ear. "Very, very good."

"Is that supposed to make me fall at your feet?"

"It might."

She laughed softly. "You are so ridiculous, Draco."

Before he could respond, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against, kissing him deeply as she fisted a hand in his hair. He hadn't been expecting it—they often teased each other in that way—but as soon as he felt those velvety lips brush more demandingly against his, he realised that kissing Ginevra Weasley was something he had wanted to do for a long time.

She pulled back, licking her lips as she looked up at him through darkened eyes. "Happy birthday, Draco."

Draco smirked. "You know, I believe that is the first birthday kiss I have not found revolting, though I think we need to repeat the process. I don't believe you were quite in the spirit of it."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"Really," he murmured, and kissed her.