Chapter Fifty-Five: The Perfect Truth

There had not been a single moment when Zack did not think about Cloud during his mission. Even through the debriefing he thought about him. Through the walk to the bar and the subsequent drinks with Kunsel, he thought about him. And now, through a tipsy stupor into his quarters, he ached for him.

It was much too late to go see him, and Zack was much too drunk on his emotions and from whatever poison that had been placed in front of him at the bar. He wasn't sure if it was Kunsel's way of loosening his tongue to get him to confide in him his problems, but Kunsel seemed quick to replace his empty glass with something new.

A few drinks turned into quite a few, but Zack never did say anything.

His vision sloshed around as he began to undress, now bracing his legs against his bed frame to support himself from falling over as he removed his shirt. An attempt to remove anything below left him teetering, so he never finished. Instead he collapsed down onto his bed — Cloud's side of the bed — and breathed in, smelling nothing but empty space which should have been filled with something else … some feeling of certain nostalgia which now felt lost, forgotten.

Morning would come and he would track down the source of this ache and the source of the empty space beside him. The only words he would let slip would be ones which he hoped could remedy everything. The only person in which he would confide would be Cloud.

Only Cloud.

Even now as the alcohol coerced him to sleep, everything in his mind turned to that boy; that boy with such brilliant eyes, a coveted smile like a rare delicacy, a laugh that was as soft and sweet as his name. Cloud, with his complexities and his insecurities; a timidness that frustratingly lingered with every word, every decision and every reaction he would make … to even his lies. All his lies — the white, the heavy, the ones that made him chuckle, the ones that made him angry, the ones that actually made Zack love him just a little bit more.

It all made him ache unbearably, and not even in sleep could he find solace. He dreamed of Cloud, hearing him call his name with desperation, feeling his touch with such yearning need. It had felt vivid against his face, the warmth of his hand cradling his consciousness and holding it captive. He wanted to wake, to believe that that touch had been real, to know that when he opened his eyes, Cloud would be there.

But he slept on.

He could hear him crying in his dream. Out of all the things he could dream, all those possibilities of happiness, Cloud was still crying. He shouldn't — not alone, at least. Why was Cloud crying alone?

He could hear water running. Both sounds went on for a long time. Far too long. And an oddly familiar scent began to creep through his dream. Wisps of it filled the air, a deep and spicy scent that he couldn't place. It wasn't Cloud … Cloud smelled liberating.

Zack soon roused, blinking up at the darkened ceiling, the sound of the water that ran becoming louder. That smell began to decipher in his nose as well; it was his shampoo.

Someone was in his shower …

He turned his head, bleary eyes making out fuzzy numbers on the clock beside him. The water stopped.

… at two in the morning.

He heard the screech of the shower curtain, and moments later his bedroom door was pushed opened fully. Before he could lift his head, his mattress dipped down from an added weight, and he felt someone crawling toward him.

It was Cloud.

Quickly Zack tried to make sense of this, but both shock and the persistent booze left him staring dumbfounded. Cloud, his Cloud was here, crawling towards him wearing nothing but a towel around his hip and an unbelievable expression on his face. He could see in the moonlight that peeked through his blinds a pair of frightened, reddened eyes staring back at him, and his cheeks were soaked with more than just water from the shower. It hadn't been a dream.

"W-what're you doing here?" Zack whispered, afraid that if he were to speak any louder Cloud would somehow be scared away.

But he didn't. He moved closer, and as he did, the towel around his waist slipped and slumped off the bed, revealing his nude body. Zack swallowed heavily.

"I'm sorry, Zack, I-I am so s-sorry for everything. Please forgive me … please."

"Sorry?" He sat up quickly. "Why're you so upset like this? What's happened?"

Cloud continued to mutter apologies as he crawled nearer. Without hesitation he forced Zack against his headboard and then straddled his lap, gripping his shoulders almost painfully tight.

Zack could do nothing as Cloud pinned him with his body. He tried to wiggle some room between them, but Cloud wouldn't budge. There was a possessiveness to him that Zack had never seen before, a reckless look in his eyes being magnified by the tears present.

"Don't leave me."

Zack forced Cloud away just enough to free his arms, and he started to wipe at the boy's face, trying to keep up with the tears that fell in quick succession. "Leave you? What're you talking about?"

"I don't want you to leave me too … please, not you."

"Baby—"

"I've lied to you. So many times." Cloud reached up, cupping Zack's face. "I don't deserve you, but I want you. I want to be selfish with you. You're all I have. I can't lose that. I can't—"

"You won't."

Cloud's eyebrows wrinkled in disbelief, and when he spoke, it was frenzied. "You won't leave me?"

"I won't … I would never."

"Even if I don't deserve you?"

"You do."

"Even if I lie?"

"Even if you lie."

"Even though I—"

Zack brushed his thumb across his face to his lips, pressing lightly to silence him. "Cloud … I've never left."

"Never left …?"

"That's right," Zack said, now wiping more tears from Cloud's face. "I've been here for you the whole time. For us."

Cloud suddenly broke down, his body racked with violent sobs. Somehow through the shaking of his hands he reached up, cupping Zack's face once more as he tried to speak. Nothing but incoherent sounds came from him as he cried. Zack tried to search Cloud for answers while holding what he knew to be a weak smile, but holding it steady nonetheless. He watched as over and over Cloud mouthed words to speak, but he was a mess with each attempt.

"What, baby? What are you trying to say?" Zack murmured, stroking his dampened cheek with compassion.

"I love you, Zack," Cloud said through sobs. "I love you."

To finally hear those words, to see Cloud's lips form them and his voice — no matter how tremulous — speak them, made waves of relief drown Zack's heart. He wrapped his arms around Cloud's trembling body and buried his face in his neck, squeezing him tightly as elation consumed him. His eyes began to sting and burn against Cloud's heated skin. "Gods, Cloud, I love you too."

Cloud continued to sob, even as Zack smoothed his hands across his face and murmured little nothingnesses to him to get him to stop. He searched through his eyes for some sort of answer, and the more that he cried, the more that wave of relief soon began to turn tide. No explanation for those tears were given, no other inclination given for being there at two in the morning, or the sudden confession, or the fact that he was naked and pressing himself further against Zack's body.

"Tell me what's wrong."

Cloud finally quieted and he shook his head. He said nothing, focusing every ounce of energy on trying to control the tremble in his lip and the pain from showing again on his face. He began to lean in, his nose brushing against Zack's with the faintest trace of a whimper, eyes focusing on their mouths centimeters apart. And he kissed him.

It lasted but a second, yet weeks and months spent apart melted away.

Zack murmured Cloud's name as they pulled back. Their eyes met, a yearning for each other being silently shared in that gaze. He wanted to kiss him again, to feel Cloud's being with every touch and caress, every breath, every bit of love that he had known to be there from the beginning.

They kissed again.

Longer, much longer. Lips moved in a slow stride, the rush of anxiety to get to that moment now behind them, and a new rush to travel further together now approaching.

Cloud pressed more of his weight against Zack, sliding his hands to the back of his head as their kiss began to deepen. Zack moaned quietly when Cloud's fingertips curled through strands of his hair and his tongue curled against his lips. He opened his mouth, meeting Cloud's tongue with reserve but not without increasing interest.

His mind was getting hazy when Cloud swirled his tongue about his; he wanted it to stay that way. It made his heart race, blood thumping through his veins, heating his skin to unknown temperatures. He could feel that heat travel throughout him, coiling and settling to where Cloud's body pressed against the most. He muttered his name once again between heady breaths, and the hands in his hair began to roam.

One hand skimmed down his bare chest, the other along his side. It traced and curved until it reached the hem of his trousers, not pausing when he moaned into Cloud's mouth again, but continued on what began to feel like a search. It finally stopped at his pocket, and then dipped inside.

"W-what are you doing?" Zack asked breathlessly, his eyes flickering against Cloud's.

"Your phone," he whispered, his hand digging around until he found it. He flipped it open and tried to press one of the buttons but was having a hard time keeping his hands steady. "Turning it off." The phone eventually beeped and darkened. It was tossed to the floor. "I don't want us to be interrupted."

Zack could not get another word in, for Cloud leaned forward and continued to kiss him with even more fuel. His lips, his tongue, his hands now tugging at Zack's zipper were all becoming hard to keep up with.

His trousers soon followed the path of his phone onto the floor.

Zack now sat naked beneath Cloud as he crawled back onto his lap. He groaned when his growing erection settled against Cloud's bottom, the heat of his body both moist and more intoxicating than any poison. He couldn't stop himself from rubbing against him. Cloud responded with a shy nip to Zack's lip, and their tongues further explored.

Perhaps tasting him once more, to indulge in what he had missed so much, would allow for a glimpse inside Cloud's mind. Zack wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling with each kiss. He wanted to know what Cloud wanted, and what had pushed him over the precipice of truth to reach desperation such as this.

Their heads turned together as their kissing increased to an impassable tempo. Bodies began to rock as Zack's hips pressed against Cloud with a wordless request,

approval coming as a soft coo. It was a sound soft enough to barely be heard by Zack's ears, but with more than enough strength for his heart to hear.

He kissed away from Cloud's lips and moved onto his neck, taste buds awakening with flavors of fresh skin and dewy hints of perspiration. Tasting that sweat beginning to build, knowing to where their bodies and hearts were headed made him vulnerable to his forgotten urges.

Slowly they descended to those urges, arms wrapped around each other for support as they lowered upon the bed, sparing not a moment to adjust blankets nor pillows, but taking those moments to pull each other closer, and to seek those lost feelings in each other.

Zack rolled him onto his back, never breaking contact of his lips to Cloud's body. He tried to lift himself to see his face, but he couldn't pull away with the grip that Cloud had against his shoulders, holding him with that possessiveness again. It was nearly shouting with enough force to get Zack to stop suckling at his neck, to stop everything. If it hadn't been for his name being whispered as he now kissed across Cloud's collarbone, he might have.

His thumbs sought out and found his nipples; they were soft beneath his touch. He began to circle around them, hoping to feel them harden, and to feel Cloud's member harden as well. As close as their bodies were, Zack could feel only his own erection between their entangled legs. He received a meek sound as his thumbs continued, but nothing more.

He kissed down, making sure each one was with patience and filled with all his emotion. No kiss wavered or hesitated. Each was perfectly placed across the light planes of Cloud's skin … one after another, never growing tired. His lips skimmed, stopping as Cloud's pitching chest brought a nipple to his mouth, meeting with precision timing. Zack closed his lips around it, gentle suction coaxing the nub to harden while his other hand began to coax Cloud's softened member.

The grip on his shoulders lessened the more his tongue lapped and the more his hand stroked. Zack pulled his mouth away when he heard a trace of a moan coming from Cloud, and he looked up at him with a soft smile. He held his eye contact as he kissed the center of his chest, and Cloud's hands slipped off and fell to his sides.

Downward again he moved, hands sliding to his thighs as his breath ghosted across Cloud's navel, stopping for a brief moment to lap his tongue around its contours. He kissed a few more times until he reached Cloud's groin, glancing up at him to see his face before moving further.

His expression was hard to interpret.

Conflicted, eager, pained … Zack couldn't tell.

But Cloud, too, was studying Zack as he paused, and slowly he shuffled his legs apart, giving Zack more room, and giving him the consent for which he had been searching.

Zack settled between his legs. His eyes locked on Cloud's for any change in expression as he lowered his mouth down, hovering above his groin. Nothing flickered across his face, and so Zack continued to stroke Cloud's member and move his mouth closer.

It had been far too long, and as his lips impatiently closed around his tip, Cloud's taste — that unique, sensual taste — sent Zack's mind stuttering into disarray. He had missed everything about him that he knew he would want more … that he would need more.

So much more.

His nose nestled against Cloud's skin, his entire length beginning to fill his mouth as it stiffened. Faster it grew as Zack began to bob his head along, but only soundless breaths were Cloud's reaction. It was far from the usual moans and cries he would make as Zack sucked him.

His hand brushed lightly over his balls, earning a slight wiggle from Cloud's hips. It caused his member to thrust further into Zack's mouth, and ignited both eagerness and lust. Fingertips then dipped below, pushing their way between Cloud's cheeks to seek his entrance.

Cloud finally made a tiny squeak as Zack's fingers ran against him. Back and forth they rubbed, each pass emitting more pressure, asking for more. His middle finger now circled around once he found the center of all that moist heat surrounding his hand. He left it there for a few moments as he continued to suck on him, but unconsciously he began to press his finger inside, and hadn't realized this until Cloud stiffened and made a small grunt of discomfort.

Zack pulled away, Cloud's member slipping from his mouth to fall against his lower stomach with a small slap. He muttered an apology to him and got to his knees, shivering when Cloud's body heat left him. He clumsily moved across Cloud's legs to the edge of his bed, reaching for his nightstand.

The bed rustled beside him, and he turned to see that Cloud sat up on his elbows and was watching him with intensity. His chest was beginning to pitch as though he were to have some sort of panic attack, and that earlier expression of fright was on his face once again.

Zack didn't take his eyes off him even as he reached into his nightstand and blindly found the bottle of lubrication he had purchased months ago. He tried to give him a reassuring smile, but frowned instead when he thought he saw Cloud's eyes shimmering in the darkness. He crawled back over to him and popped open the cap, all the while whispering to him sweetly, hoping to calm him … and himself. His hand shook as he dribbled the liquid onto his fingers. The bottle was then set to the side within reach.

Cloud seemed to relax when Zack's body covered him, and he sank back down onto the mattress with Zack's lips following. Again he kissed down his neck and chest, trying to retrace each step he had taken but with no less meaning and emotion; a nip to his collarbone, a moment to suckle his nipple, and even another teasing lick at his navel. Once more Cloud's member was taken into Zack's mouth, and one hand slipped between his legs to disappear against his heat.

He began to push his finger against his entrance again, the lubrication warming up almost instantly when it came into contact with Cloud's body. He didn't hesitate pushing it in, or hesitate moving it; he didn't think that he could now that his mind was swimming with anticipation. Cloud made another grunt of discomfort but quickly silenced when Zack's sucking increased, driving Cloud's member further into his mouth with each bob of his head.

He wanted to feel Cloud harden unbearably, painfully. He wanted to taste teasing hints of his seed against his tongue, flavor intensifying as pleasure mounted. He wanted to hear those melodious tones of Cloud's voice, as much and more than he had in the past. He wanted to feel Cloud's body quiver — his muscles, his bones, his breath — against him. He wanted the heat between them to become more than either could handle but still not enough for them to stop.

Instead Cloud remained nearly flaccid … silent. There was no melody for which Zack longed, nor growing and intensified flavors which he craved. The only quiver in which he felt was of his own body.

Zack released his member and lowered his face down, nuzzling his nose against Cloud's inner thigh before kissing it with need. He groaned as though to encourage him as he moved closer to his groin. He nuzzled there, causing him to flinch and move his legs further apart, giving Zack more room.

He murmured to him eagerly, now turning to give attention to Cloud's balls. His free hand grasped his member once more as his mouth took them in almost playfully. He let his tongue move about, running across soft skin and fine hairs which tickled, which made him yearn for more. He gave Cloud an encouraging squeeze.

Cloud finally let out a moan, his voice being carried to Zack's ears by a breath which he must have been holding back. Zack glanced up to see that his eyes had fluttered closed and his brow had wrinkled in the most enticing way, as though he were in pain, but with how his lips had parted and how his chest heaved, he hoped it were far from the truth.

He pulled his finger out slowly, the muscles around unrelenting in grip as well as resistance. Pushing in a second finger was done just as slowly, just as caring. He began to move deeper, feeling Cloud's body again in one of the most intimate ways; a way that he had shared with him before, but too long ago to relish in its memory.

They needed a new memory, born at this time from passion intertwined, and never again abandoned.

Cloud's hand found Zack's head, stroking it with a shyness which held just a whisper of demand for more. Sucking increased, fingers pushed further in a search to find those unbridled sounds that Zack knew to be hidden, though his own moans filled the room the more that Cloud caressed him.

He no longer could keep anything steady; his whole body quaked with urgency as he released Cloud's member from his mouth and kissed up his body to waiting lips. Cloud caught his kiss, already moving his tongue against Zack's in an alluring dance the instant they met. A rush of lust swept up his restraint, overpowering every last shred of it to which he clung, and Zack helped Cloud move his legs completely apart.

He pulled away, a moan trailing between their parted lips. One hand sought out the bottle of lubricant while the other held Cloud's face, fixating their gaze upon each other in what Zack hoped to be a shared assurance. He couldn't help but whine as he felt the tip of his head brush against Cloud's bottom, and Zack's gaze turned potent.

The bottle was found once more, recovered from being nestled against Cloud's thigh. Zack brought it to his tip, his hand shaking with such severity that every other drop he poured onto himself missed and soaked into the mattress below. His breathing, even his swallowing was as stuttered as his movements.

"Are you okay?"

Zack gasped, startled by Cloud's voice and by how steady it seemed. He let a small laugh escape, but the smile behind it was wavering. "J-just a little nervous. A-aren't you?"

Cloud watched as Zack began to run his hand along himself, coating his member liberally. He said nothing.

Zack spent a few more moments stroking himself. Perhaps he were biding time, as though expecting for Cloud to make some movement to stop him, or to make some sign that he wasn't ready for this. Perhaps he were waiting for himself to do it, but neither made a sound or action as those long moments passed.

He released a slow breath, bringing himself to Cloud's entrance. He immediately pulled back, heart beating erratically.

Cloud glanced up to him as Zack stopped, his lips swollen and face stained with the flush of the moonlight. His eyes were still shining, but not from ardor or passion; there was something else behind them, behind those tears that still lingered.

"We don't have to do this, Cloud," Zack said, leaning down to kiss those swollen lips which now trembled faintly.

"P-please," Cloud whispered.

Please …

Even stuttered, even if barely heard through Zack's muddled thoughts, that word – vague, yet seemingly sure — held so much. Good, bad; even a neutrality for their actions, their reactions. Zack couldn't decide with that one word spoken if what he was doing was right or wrong; to continue, to stop …

Please never confused him so much in his life.

"I need you."

Zack moaned Cloud's name, both his heart and his body seized by those words. He brought himself to Cloud again, the last of his shaking tapering off as he released one final, nervous breath. He waited for Cloud to finish shifting beneath him, again legs opening wide for him. His eyes darted between them to catch one last glimpse before he began to push in.

As Zack moved, Cloud tensed, his fingers digging into the sheets. He could tell he was trying to hide any discomfort with a straight face, but with how his eyebrows twitched and how he was biting his bottom lip, Zack could tell otherwise. It was almost painful for him, too, as everything was tight; it felt nearly impossible to continue.

"Cling to me instead, baby."

Cloud looked perplexed for a brief second until Zack motioned down to how his knuckles were paling as he gripped the sheet.

"Like this," he whispered, stopping his entrance to concentrate on wiggling each of Cloud's hands away. He placed them on his shoulders. "Cling to me if it hurts."

Cloud obeyed, leaving his hands there awkwardly, as though not knowing where exactly to place them or how to hold them.

Zack couldn't help but smile a little, lowering down to kiss him. "Relax." He kissed him again, this time adding in a gentle stroking of his face. He continued until he felt Cloud's body relax against his, and slowly he pushed in more.

It was a stop and go effort, each push past restricting muscle getting a loving hush or coo if Cloud showed any sign of pain. There seemed to be plenty, as every inch he went Cloud would tighten his hold on Zack's shoulders, or allow himself just a tiny squeak of discomfort. He had to continually remind him to relax each time he felt the muscles around him squeeze. It took more calming attempts, but Cloud did listen and try.

Soon Zack lowered his head down to rest against Cloud's forehead, pausing to let Cloud become accustomed, to breathe him in, to revel in the feeling of him. It was tighter, hotter, more nerve-racking, and more wonderful than he thought it would ever be. What he felt from inside Cloud seemed to transcend to how the rest of his body felt; every bit of him was gripped in an unfathomable heat.

Cloud sniffled then. It brought him out of this new bliss and back to his love beneath him. His eyes opened to see tears leaking from the corners of Cloud's. They were brushed away on one side, and kissed away on the other.

"Does it hurt?" Zack whispered.

Cloud shook his head as a few more tears rolled down.

"Then why're you crying?"

"I've missed you," Cloud said after he released a shuddering breath.

Zack grabbed one of his hands from off his shoulder and linked their fingers together, giving him a squeeze. "I've missed you too. So much that it hurt."

Cloud let out a vulnerable whimper as he leaned up and caught Zack's lips, his hand returning the squeeze. His body shook as they kissed, surely holding back any sobbing that threatened to surface.

Their lips parted, and Zack kissed his way down Cloud's neck as he began to move inside him. Cloud grunted, body tensing in response, but then relaxing as Zack stroked his face again. With each patient thrust, he moved in a little deeper, breathed a little quicker, trembled a little harder. He soon was fully seated, his body now flush against Cloud's and joined together in a beautiful union.

It was overwhelming to finally be with Cloud in this way.

He paused once more, indulging in the sweltering heat around his member. It was almost too much with how high each of his emotions were running. But he started to move again — gentle, with worlds of caution in every thrust.

Cloud made another noise, stifled behind his pursed, reddened lips. It sounded slightly pained, but very endearing.

"It hurt?" Zack asked, scarcely moving inside him, afraid to until he was sure that Cloud wasn't feeling anything but pleasure.

Cloud shook his head once.

"Feel good?"

He gave a single nod.

Zack squeezed his hand again and kissed him, catching another sound with his mouth as he began to move more fluently. Further back he pulled, only to plunge in deeper, but slowly. In time their bodies started to rock together, his pushing into Cloud's, his loving Cloud's.

Their tongues found each other, courting into a dance once again. Zack could never grow weary with how he tasted, cravings for him impossible to be sated no matter how much they kissed, or where his lips roamed across his body. Even now as he kissed across Cloud's jawline to his ear, the feelings surging throughout his body and mind kept him starving.

He turned Cloud's head gently, hearing him whimper in question when he brushed his hair away from his ear and took his earlobe between his teeth. He felt Cloud's muscles tighten around his member as he worked it with his mouth. He started to push into Cloud's body with a little more force when he shuddered beneath him, arching his back in what Zack hoped was blooming pleasure.

His tongue ventured further into his ear, earning the sweet sound of Cloud letting out a moan, albeit a little choked. It was still beautiful; a louder, teasing hint of what Zack knew to be hiding. It caused him to groan into Cloud's ear in response, and senses began to reel.

The bed followed in harmony with the noise which was filling the room. With each thrust Zack let himself be heard, his voice almost being drowned out with the creaking of the bed frame, or a tentative knock against the wall with the headboard if he thrust too awkwardly. Cloud stayed mostly quiet; maybe he was nervous, overwhelmed as much as Zack. He was starting to think that it was actually hurting him, or maybe the position was just growing stale.

Zack slowed his movements to a gradual stop, and now his mind began to race through all the positions he knew, all the advice that had ever been given to him, and everything that he wanted to try with Cloud. He wanted this to be good for him too … he wanted it to be more than good. He wanted to pour every ounce of love into this for him, for the both of them. It was impossible for him to keep his thoughts straight, and he found his body moving on its own to move Cloud into something different.

Cloud quickly sat up after him when Zack pulled out of his body, a feverish look consuming him again. He reached up and gripped Zack's arms, stopping him from moving any further with a crushing force.

"Where are you going?"

Zack stared back at him, eyes searching his in shock.

"You said you wouldn't leave me!"

Cloud was now shaking uncontrollably, his fingertips digging into him and eyes welling with tears. His legs closed around Zack's knees as though to pin him in place.

"I'm going no where," Zack said, lowering them both back down onto the bed as he stroked him reassuringly. Confusion began to build again and he continued to caress him, slowly easing them both to calm. "I was just moving us into something different, baby."

Cloud whimpered an apology and wrapped his arms around Zack's neck, burying his face against him like an upset child would to its parent. He remained like that, allowing Zack to cradle him and soothe him until he settled. Eventually his shaking stopped, but the hold around Zack's neck stayed firm.

"I said I wouldn't leave you, Cloud. We don't have to do this if you're not ready."

"Don't stop, Zack," Cloud whispered, shifting against him so that his legs were now raising into the air. "Please."

Zack hesitated, stroking his head idly as he felt Cloud's legs begin to wrap around his waist. His breathing quickened when Cloud brought his entrance to his tip and began to force him back in. His member was being enveloped in that heat again, and he moaned together with Cloud for the first time.

"Gods, Cloud," he whined, pressing himself inside with a needy urge.

Cloud muttered something back to him, but it was interrupted by another moan when Zack hit a spot inside him which caused his arms to tighten and his legs to link around Zack's waist, melding their bodies together.

Zack scooted forward, coaxing Cloud to lift his hips off the mattress, supporting his body with his own. Cloud obeyed, rolling most of his weight onto his shoulders as Zack resumed thrusting with renewed desire.

Cloud's arms loosened around Zack's neck enough to slip one hand into his hair, his earlier whimpers now becoming heavy with signs of enjoyment. Zack sped up his movements, somehow murmuring passionate things to him between each labored breath he took. Cloud heard every word, responding to them with kisses against his neck and more moans.

He inched his way apart from Cloud reluctantly, but he wanted to watch his lips form every one of those sounds he loved to hear. They locked eyes, Cloud momentarily looking worried as Zack parted from his hold, but his expression changed to what seemed like surprise when Zack slipped his arm between them and began to stroke his member.

Cloud let out a small cry, his hands on a search for something to grab onto again when stimulation increased. He found the sides of Zack's face, tugging downward to bring their lips together for an attempted kiss. But when Zack struck that spot again, sending an outpour of bliss throughout his body, he tossed his head back with a louder cry.

It still wasn't exactly what Zack wanted to hear. He wanted to get Cloud to cry out like how he had in the past — that unrestrained howl of euphoric levels, but watching his eyes squeeze shut and his chest pitch, there was no way that he couldn't enjoy Cloud's every reaction. And each gained more strength, an organic rhythm forming between them to nurture their confidence in themselves and in each other.

His hand moved faster on Cloud, feeling the muscles surrounding him convulse for a brief moment. He matched his pace with his hand, their tempo becoming finalized as emotions brimmed on spilling over, exerting Zack's control. Possibly hurting Cloud was a concern floating amongst his carnal instincts, but with how Cloud was now clinging to him, Zack's thrusting roughened.

Perspiration now embellished their skin, sharing a warmth created from their actions. It enticed new tremors throughout their bodies, heightening unfamiliar but arousing sensations. There was not a breath that Cloud didn't take that Zack couldn't feel. There was not a quiver of passion nor surge of pleasure which Cloud felt that didn't resonate to him.

But what was now truly shared between them was whispered to each other in three perfect words. Just three words, spoken with more meaning than any other, and strengthened with their intimacy.

Frantically Zack slipped his free arm beneath Cloud's shoulders, clutching him to his body as his movements shortened. Every impulse was telling him to not slow down, to let go of restraint. There was something else which he heard; a whispered feeling amongst an infinite chorus of singing nerves inside. This feeling for which Zack had once forgotten, for which he had been blindly searching. It was what really soothed that ache.

Cloud stammered Zack's name, both his tone and his body racing to climax. His legs squeezed Zack's waist, his arms locked around his neck. But it was Zack who was holding on; he held on to how Cloud was writhing against him and was slick with sweat, how an impassioned display of need was staring back at him. He clung to each second, afraid that if he were to let one pass without cherishing it, that this feeling would be gone before he knew.

His hand stroked at an intense pace, its rhythm broken as his thrusting became desperate for release. No more words could be spoken, no utterance of pleasured curses, or heady whispers to tease. They could only exclaim what they felt through instinctual cries as their peak was reached. He didn't dare look away from that angelic face staring back at him. Those blue eyes held a glimmering intensity behind moist lashes, and those beautiful lips were parted … such beautiful lips even when swollen with the indents of his teeth and past scars in them. How Zack still loved them. And how he kissed them.

Every muscle clenched, and Cloud's entire body went rigid in an instant. His cries fell into a screaming silence as he came.

It was breathtaking, but even more so knowing that what Zack thought he had lost and forgotten was his once again.

Watching Cloud rushed him to his own finish. He followed after, pumping through the last of Cloud's spasms as bursts of rapture devoured him. He clung to him, burying his face against his neck as he released. He muffled lengthy, unbridled moans into dampened skin, knowing no other outlet in which to channel this overwhelming feeling. It was more than he could take.

Zack finally slowed, his mind dazed and his breath erratic. He could feel their pulses racing together, continuing in the wild thrill long after their bodies had been spent. The legs around his waist lowered down but the arms around his neck stayed, shortly joined by Cloud's lips against him. He turned his head to catch those kisses, to catch those ragged breaths and sated moans which left Cloud's lungs. The last bit of their lust began to settle, but their hearts still continued.

He removed his arm from beneath Cloud, lowering him back down upon the bed … his side of the bed where he belonged. He took in each of his features, burning the image of Cloud panting, covered in their sweat and his own seed, inside his mind. It was an image which he had always desired, which now far exceeded all his expectations of being in this exact moment with him. He had dreamed of this, he had longed for it. Now he had it. Now it was his.

Zack smiled down at Cloud as he lay there panting, and a brief smile tugged onto Cloud's lips in return. He whispered 'I love you' to him and kissed him, now knowing no other outlet in which to channel this nostalgic feeling.

This feeling … this was a feeling of every emotion he had ever experienced … that he would experience. Like he were endlessly flying without wings … that his Cloud, his angel, were carrying him. This feeling which he would only feel with Cloud … always only Cloud.

An endless feeling of comfort.

… To be continued in Chapter Fifty-Six: Locked Out.

Ending Author's Note: Erm...Merry Clackmas! I wanted to present you all with this Clackmas gift, one that has been two years in the making! My gift to all of you amazing and lovely readers. Some of you have been with this story from the start and have been painstakingly waiting for this chapter to happen, so here it is! And even the readers just joining have been eagerly awaiting this too. XD

Whether it was what you were expecting or hoping for is beyond me, given the circumstances of the previous chapter.

Did I ever mention I'm sort of evil?

Just an FYI.

:D

As far as the next chapter goes...erm...well...I'm not done with that yet. So I have no idea when it will be released. Ah! Some good news for those who care about my personal blahs: My doctor is pulling me out of work indefinitely. So far I have a surgery on my lower back scheduled for February 1st (nuuu I don't want to be laid up for my birthday in Feb...D: My birthdays are always so shitty...just what I need...flarg) and come December 30th, I will no longer be working! So this means I can finally rest and have all the time in the world to draw and write and waste my days on Tumblr! :D

EDIT!

I forgot to include something. I've compiled a Malady Soundtrack! It's a .rar file that you can download here:

(Remove the spaces in the web address first)

http : / / www. mediafire. com/ ?62guyfc82cs41bj

that contains songs that I've deemed "Malady-esque". It has various artists from different styles music, but nothing too crazy. XD Anyway, give it a download and listen as you read if you'd like! There's also a READ ME file explaining things a bit further. :3

The download link to the Malady OST can also be found in my profile!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my Clackmas gift, and I hope that your day is merry and bright with smut and fluff. May all your Clackmas wishes come true!

With evil amounts of love,

Ziggy