Disclaimer: Author owns nothing. Mai-Hime belong to Sunrise.

CHAPTER 26

RAJASTHAN INDIA

One week later.

Natsuki was busy loading the supplies that they will be needing for the next two weeks inside the two trucks which were parked a few feet away from the headquarter. Everyone had retired to their respective quarters given that it was already past nine o'clock in the evening. She volunteered to take care of the remaining few boxes which she found no difficulty at all in handling.

They were split into five teams which were assigned to different locations. Each group had only one person from the documentary team but had at least five medical personnel. They were informed by the United Nations' representatives of the additional ten people that will be helping them in their mission which will not only encompass medical one but also rehabilitation and education to those natives from rural places.

"Alyssa, it's better for you to stay here. You haven't fully recovered yet." Natsuki said for the nth time as she continued loading the boxes into the truck. The woman was following behind her. "And stop carrying heavy boxes. You should be resting now." She said before grabbing the box from her hand and piling it next to the box that she had just place inside the truck.

"Natsuki, I'm fine. Stop treating me like a child. Besides I'm old enough to know what's good for me." Alyssa said before turning around to get more supplies but before she can proceed any further, Natsuki grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"Why are you being so difficult today?" Natsuki said through gritted teeth as she pulled the woman closer and held her gaze. Alyssa was left craning her neck to look up at her given the height difference. The woman was about 5'7'' but still shorter than Natsuki.

She was tired of convincing her to stay put for the past few days. The woman almost jumped out of her bed the moment she felt like she had the energy to at least stay on her feet. But Natsuki obviously had a different view on the matter. It also didn't help that the woman did not remember the events following her groggy return to the headquarter leaving whatever Natsuki thought to be a small step in starting to salvage whatever was left in their relationship in vain.

"Why do you keep acting like you care?" Alyssa fired back, looking into blazing emerald orbs.

The woman really confused the hell out of her. Natsuki left her two years ago without a single explanation and now she just appeared out of thin air and wanted control of her life again.

"Because I care, Alyssa." Natsuki said, her husky voice deepening further causing some butterflies in Alyssa's stomach. The woman really sounded sexier when she was becoming dominant and angry. But Alyssa dismissed the fluttering that her heart felt.

"Really, Natsuki?" Alyssa fired back challengingly. "Is that why you suddenly left without a word and the next week I found your divorce attorney at my doorstep?" She snapped, taking a step closer to the woman.

The bottled up emotions for years suddenly found its way out. It was like a dam of emotions which were finally let out. So, the water rushed out with rage. She tried yanking her arm away from Natsuki but the woman kept her grip on her. "Is that your way of caring? Not even having the decency to explain to me what I did wrong?" She continued, pounding her fist on Natsuki's shoulder as tears started to flow freely from her eyes. "Do you have a single idea how difficult it was to keep asking questions which will never be answered because the only person who has your answers left you in the dark? Every night, I kept asking myself if it was my fault. I kept looking back to the things that I did. Did I pressure you? Was I insensitive to your needs? Was I suffocating you? But each night not a single of my hundred questions was answered."

"Alyssa…" Natsuki whispered while trying to still her hold on the woman.

"No, Natsuki. You can't just do that." Alyssa shook her head, tears still flowing from her beautiful feature. "You don't do that to people you care about. I thought I was going to be mad. Every single day, I kept waiting for you. I kept telling myself that you will one day knock at my doorstep again and maybe explain things to me. I thought maybe you were just caught up in your projects because you wanted to prove yourself. I kept both my two ears opened for any news of you. Then, there came those rumors about you and different women in clubs. I didn't believe them because I know that you will never do that. I know that there were explanations behind it. Maybe it was just PR to promote your projects because why would you do that when you have a wife?" She said between sobs as her fists kept pounding on Natsuki's shoulders.

"Alyssa you don't understand…" Natsuki began but was interrupted by Alyssa's outburst.

"I don't understand because you didn't bother explaining anything to me, Natsuki! Maybe I was wrong all this time. Maybe they were right. Maybe you are just like what they said. You just needed me to get where you are and when Dad died that was when I lost my worth to you. Is that it, Natsuki? Was I just one of your means to your dream? I thought you are better than that." Alyssa said with a hint of disgust in her voice.

"Do you know how it fucking broke me to leave you, Alyssa?! I fucking loved you that I could never imagine a future without you in it but I didn't have a fucking choice! I had to leave for your sake! I had to find ways to forget you because there was not a single night that you didn't come to my mind. I saw you in almost every fucking thing I see that I thought I was losing it! " Natsuki half-yelled as Alyssa's pounding halted.

"Then, why did you leave? Tell me why? Please… I at least deserve that." Alyssa almost pleaded as she held Natsuki's face in her hands. Traces of held up tears were visible on the woman's face.

"I killed your father, Alyssa. I took away the life that you spent your entire lifetime saving. I don't deserve you." Natsuki said, shaking her head as she wrapped the woman's hands with her own. Her emerald orbs looking at blue ones with shame and apology.

"Natsuki, it was an accident. You could have never prevented that. None of us had the capacity to do that. Is that why you left because you thought it was your fault when it never was?" Alyssa said, wiping away the fresh tears from Natsuki's face.

Flashback

It was the day of Alex's funeral and Natsuki was beside Alyssa as the latter received condolences from the family, friends, and colleagues that came.

"Can I borrow her for a sec, Alyssa?" A man dressed in all black came, gesturing to Natsuki who wore the same shade of color.

"I'll be back." Natsuki said after giving Alyssa a quick kiss on the forehead and a gentle squeeze on the shoulders for reassurance.

"Don't take too long." Alyssa simply said to Natsuki.

"I won't." Natsuki said before following the man.

"What is it that you need me for, Smith?" Natsuki said with little interest.

She was never fond of the man who gave off a malicious aura. Truth be told, he hated the man more than anything but she had to bear with it since he was one of Alyssa's relatives who claimed to care about the woman's welfare.

"A little parting gift from Alex. He wanted me to make sure this gets to you." Smith produced a USB storage device from his coat pocket and handed it to Natsuki. "Just making sure I fulfill the dying man's last wish. I hope you do the same, Kruger." He patted Natsuki's shoulder before leaving her alone, not even waiting for her response.

Alyssa was already asleep when Natsuki finally decided to proceed to her living room. Grabbing the USB storage device from her pocket, she went to plug it to her laptop. Opening the file that read "To Natsuki. Read me when I'm gone", she plugged her earphones to ensure that Alyssa will not be awaken by the noise. The woman had a long day and deserved all the rest she can get.

A black screen came to view before a pure white screen which kept zooming out until it revealed a man making few adjustments on the camera.

"A little more focus. There." The man can be heard muttering to himself before sitting himself on the sofa. Natsuki immediately recognized the place as Alex's house living area where they spent the last holiday.

"Hi, kid." The man started, scratching her neck. "I know it is a little bit lame and cliché but if you are watching this that means that I have expired already. Yeah. " He chuckled before continuing. "Life and its mystery." He cleared his throat before continuing. "I know it's quite coward of me to do this but I don't have the balls to tell you in person. I know you love Alyssa so much and I will never doubt that." He began before reaching for the cup of water in front of him and chugging down the medicines laid beside it. "I don't have much time, Kid. My body is no longer responding to medication. But don't tell Alyssa that. It will be our little secret. I mean one of our little secrets. I hope you will listen carefully to what I am about to say next. I love my daughter so much, kid. As her father, I don't want her to keep making decisions that will lead her to regrets later on. I know the harshness of this world and how people judge. I don't want Alyssa to be alienated just because she loves without discrimination and without regard to gender. I want Alyssa to live a normal life, kid. I want my only daughter to have children and family whom she can flaunt without anyone giving her a judging look. She had a bright future ahead of her and I know that you will agree with me on this. I know this is too much to ask but I only have my princess' welfare in mind. Natsuki, I am begging you to please make that dream possible. I know this is selfish of me to say but please, let her go. It will be hard at first but she will eventually move on. She is a strong woman, kid. I am sorry. You know that you have my support. If only you were a man, kid. If only…" He finished, looking directly into the camera as if the person he was talking to was in front of him.

"Alyssa…" Natsuki said clenching her fist as tears flowed down her face.

End of flashback.

"No, Alyssa." Natsuki shook her head before putting distance between her and the woman causing the latter to hesitantly drop her hands. "I had to fulfill Alex's last will. He at least deserved that. Who am I to say no to that after what I did?" She paused before taking a deep breath and looking into teary blue eyes. "Your dad loved you so much, Alyssa. He wanted you to be happy and live a normal life. I can't give you that."

"But you are my life, Natsuki." Alyssa whispered, holding Natsuki's face in her hands and staring directly into her emerald orbs. "Dad knew that. I don't care what his last will was."

"You are better off without me, Alyssa. My world is too fucked up for you." Natsuki shook her head before prying the woman's hands off of her.

"I'm not signing the divorce paper, Natsuki. You need to give me more reason than that. My father's last wish is not enough reason for me to let go. I don't care what people say." Alyssa said before turning around.

Without giving her next action a thought, Natsuki grabbed the woman's arm and spun her around before engulfing her in a warm hug. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Alyssa. I fucked up." She whispered as she held the woman's head closer making it buried on her shoulder. For some unknown reason, Shizuru's image flashed back to her which made her stomach felt uncomfortable.

Alyssa just stood there silently before slowly wrapping her arms around the woman's waist. Only God knew how much she missed Natsuki and she was not going to let her go that easily. Not until she was given a good reason.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes before Alyssa broke the silence. "I'm still joining your team tomorrow, Natsuki."

"But." Natsuki protested as she held the woman at arm's length and look deeply into calming blue orbs. A frown marred her feature showing her disagreement to the idea.

"No buts. I'm fine." Alyssa said with finality.

"No carrying of heavy loads and I will be watching you twenty-four seven. So, don't even try, woman." Natsuki said on a light note.

"Goodnight, Natsuki. Don't stay up too late." Alyssa said, dismissing Natsuki's last comment.

"I'm serious! You will be on guard twenty-four seven! Goodnight, Doc!" Natsuki yelled at Alyssa's back who just turned around to give her a last wave.

Natsuki was doing a last minute adjustment with her camera as they waited for the ten people who will be joining their team. It was past seven in the morning and they were scheduled to start by nine o'clock. Just enough time was allotted for introduction. Soon, the roaring sounds of engine were heard and a truck halted right in front of the tent where they were.

Natsuki immediately put her camera on standby mode while the others gathered behind Alyssa. She stayed farther from the group in order to get a good shot.

Five uniformed military men alighted the vehicle followed by four women who were all wearing a comfortable white short-sleeved shirt with jeans and boots on. Natsuki's camera was already filming the arrival and the expected introduction that will be happening soon except that she was still waiting for the last passenger to alight since a total of ten people were expected to help them. Natsuki froze when a very familiar woman who was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt alighted. The woman looked different but not in a good way. She looked thinner than the last time she saw her.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm Captain Takeda Masashi. Head of this unit and at your service. We will be helping you in this mission in any way we can while ensuring your safety." The man in uniformed introduced himself and his team first. "The ladies with us are the UN's ambassadresses from different countries. We will be with you for a week before we proceed to our next location."

"Good morning, too Captain and ladies. I'm Doctor Alyssa Sears, head of the medical team." Alyssa introduced as she took the captain's hand. "We are grateful for the help that you are extending. We will be needing extra hands in this mission."

The introduction continued with everyone trying to shake each other's hand.

"Doc Alyssa Sears but you can call me Alyssa. Thank you for joining us." Alyssa said extending her hand to the last person she needed to be introduced to.

"Shizuru Viola from Japan, Doc Alyssa. Pleasure is all mind." Shizuru said, taking the offered hand.

To say Shizuru was surprised will be an utter understatement because right in front of her eyes was the woman who seemed to be a descendant of gods and goddesses. The woman was far more beautiful in person than in the video that she had seen. It also didn't help that she emitted a very calming and friendly aura typical for doctors. She seldom felt insecure of any women before but this one was surely a blow in her ego.

The name rang a bell in Alyssa's head but for the love of God, she can't remember when and where she heard that before. Her mind tried searching her memory library but to no avail she found nothing. Deciding that it was another side effects of the drugs she was previously put into, she just dismissed it with a shake of her head and an exhale.

"I'm sorry, Shizuru. I just thought that I have heard your name before but just can't remember it." Alyssa said when she noticed the woman flinched. Apparently, she forgot that she was still shaking Shizuru's hand when she started going down memory lane. She must have squeezed the woman's hand harder than she should. "Don't pay me any mind, though."

"It is fine, Doc Alyssa." Shizuru said, retrieving her injured limb from the woman.

Everyone settled down after the short introduction.

"Just a quick sum up of what we will be doing for the next couple of days. We decided to divide our beneficiaries based on their age brackets. We will be having children from age zero to thirteen today. It will be health assistance, education and some play time with them." Alyssa informed looking at everyone who just nodded at her in understanding. She was about to dismiss them when she caught sight of Natsuki who seemed to be planted on her toes. "As much as I would like them to ignore your presence, NK. I think it is best if you will also introduce yourself to everyone, right?" She said a little bit louder for the woman to hear. This made everyone's attention turned towards Natsuki who hesitantly approached them.

"Ahm. Hi, everyone. I'm NK from the documentary team." Natsuki waved her hand which was holding the camera to everyone. "Just like what Alyssa said, you can ignore my presence. I will very much appreciate if you will act naturally. That will be more convenient for all of us." She said, casting her eyes at everyone but without really looking at them longer than necessary.

Shizuru thought that she just heard wrong when Alyssa initially mentioned the woman's name but unfortunately her hearing was all good. She was overwhelmed by the conflicting emotions rushing to her now. A part of her was happy to finally see the woman whom her heart had been longing for the past weeks though she never admitted that to herself. But a certain part of her was raging because the woman still lied to her and was now acting like she did not even meet her before. Her wife's presence was also not helping in uplifting her confidence and ego. She was surely in for a rollercoaster of emotions. If you will ask her, she would very much run away from the place as fast as she could. If she could vanish, that moment was the best timing to be.

Everyone had their hands full for the remaining hours of the day.

Alyssa decided to join the larger group of children who were surrounding Shizuru. The other representatives had almost the same number of crowd except that the woman had more than she can probably handle.

"Need some help with these energy balls, Shizuru?" Alyssa said as she sat opposite Shizuru. She lifted a child and place him on her lap. He seemed too shy but Alyssa had a way with children that he soon settled.

"That will be very much appreciated, Doc Alyssa." Shizuru smiled at the doctor. She obviously needed a break because her arm was starting to hurt from all the tugging. Actually, she wouldn't be surprised if her stitches had already opened.

"So, kids. Do you want to hear more stories? Doc Alyssa will be telling you one." Shizuru continued in the locals' language which surprised Alyssa.

"Noooooo!" The children went in chorus.

"So, what are we going to do then?" Alyssa said in the same local language.

"Sing us a song." One boy shouted from the back before everyone followed. "Sing! Sing! Sing!" They continued chanting.

"Alright, we will sing then." Alyssa said while holding the hands of the young boy in her lap and making them clap.

"Wait. Instrument." A young girl who was carrying a small guitar-like instrument stood up and grabbed Natsuki's hand. "She can play it." She announced to everyone before looking at Natsuki pleadingly. "Play. Again. Please." She said while strumming her instrument to make Natsuki understand what she was talking about.

"As you wish, princess." Natsuki said in English, ruffling the girl's head before following her.

She was curious by the instrument that the child held so dearly with sentiment that she decided to approach her earlier that day. Turned out that it was their version of a guitar but a handmade one. The girl loved music and showed it to Natsuki who in returned tried to play it. Natsuki's skills obviously passed the girl's standard judging from the urgent tugging that she was getting now.

Natsuki settled herself between the two women while the young girl decided to sit beside her. A good distance was set between them.

"Okay, kids. We will sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars." Alyssa announced which earned her a cheer from the kids. "Can we do it in Hindi, Shizuru?" She asked, looking at the woman who seemed to be preoccupied with the child on her lap.

"Yes, Doc Alyssa." Shizuru simply answered, looking at Alyssa and trying her best not to look in Natsuki's direction.

"Okay, then." Alyssa said with a nod to Natsuki.

The two women simultaneously sang and Natsuki was surprised with the harmony that the two had. It almost sounded like a rehearsed performance. Their voices blended with each other perfectly well. The sight of these two women with a child on their lap was something that gave Natsuki a conflicting and uncertain emotion. But something was certain in Natsuki's mind at that moment.

"They will make a perfect mother someday." She thought while glancing at the two women whose attention were fully turned to the children surrounding them.

The song ended which earned them a loud clap and cheer from the kids followed by a request for more songs which they gladly said yes to.

After the jamming session and when the kids finally decided that they had enough glee moments for the day, the group dispersed.

"Thank you." The young girl hugged Natsuki unexpectedly before she was able to completely stand.

"You're welcome, princess. Continue playing this beauty, okay?" Natsuki said as slowly as she can in order for her message to come across. She was glad when the young girl shook her head in agreement. "That's good." She finished, ruffling the little girl's hair once more before she joined the other kids.

It was already past eight in the evening when Alyssa decided to approach Shizuru who was carrying a box full of syringe to the storage.

"Please let me have that." Alyssa said before retrieving the box from Shizuru's hand. Just as expected it was snatched right away from her hand.

"I said no carrying or lifting of boxes. Heavy or not." Natsuki said, shaking her head.

"Thank you. We will just be in the clinic. " Alyssa said without protest before sidestepping Natsuki and tugging Shizuru's right arm purposely to test her theory. "Follow me please, Shizuru." She said, eyes glancing at the woman's obvious pain. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just don't want to argue with that one for now." She said gesturing to Natsuki who was on her way to storing the box.

"It is alright, Doc Alyssa." Shizuru said before walking briskly since the woman seemed to be in a hurry.

"Why are we-" Shizuru started to voice her confusion but was halted by Alyssa.

"Sit down please." Alyssa said after opening the curtain of the clinic bed.

Shizuru just looked at the single bed covered in white. Not a single muscle was moved.

"I don't understand." Shizuru blinked again at the doctor who was retrieving some medical supplies.

"I am going to change your bandage." Alyssa explained shortly, looking at Shizuru who had a mild surprise written all over her face. "I'm a doctor, dear. I know that your right arm is not in good shape. Hiding it will not do you any good. We don't want to worsen it. So, please take your shirt off."

"I appreciate the concern, Doc Alyssa however I do not see the necessity. I can handle this myself." Shizuru said with a smile.

"Maybe or maybe not, dear. But as the head of this group's medical team, I'm responsible in ensuring that everyone is in shape while we're in the middle of this project. I don't think that the wound is our only problem here. You don't seem to be getting the right amount of nutrition that you needed. If you can't get them by digestion, I have no choice but to do it intravenously. Just a dextrose for tonight. You haven't eaten much today and I'm not sure if that's your way of maintaining your body image but as a doctor, I would say it's not the proper and healthy way. Now, please sit down and let me do my job. I will feel responsible if it will worsen." Alyssa said, gesturing to the bed.

"I do not want to be a burden, Doc Alyssa." Shizuru said before finally sitting down. "But thank you."

"Thank me later, dear. Please remove your shirt." Alyssa said as she stood in front of Shizuru who hesitantly removed the article of clothing.

Alyssa examined the bandage which was already stained with blood. "Must be new." She said before continuing to remove the old bandage. "This is a long and deep cut, Shizuru." She said after examining the cut that extended from Shizuru's wrist to just below her elbow. "How did you get this? If you don't mind."

"Just a little accident, Doc." Shizuru disclosed, looking at the woman who was carefully and gently cleaning the wound before replacing it with a fresh one.

"You should take extra care. Thankfully the stitches were done perfectly but this might leave a mark if you won't be religious enough in monitoring its healing." Alyssa said with a frown. "I'll do a little check up on you after this. Just stay here, okay?" Alyssa said before getting the apparatuses that she needed.

A few examination was done before Alyssa spoke again. "You are undernourish, Shizuru. In addition to the dextrose that I will put on you tonight, I highly recommend that you eat properly. I'm afraid I'll need to monitor your eating pattern as long as you're with my team. I can't have a sick volunteer under my watch." Alyssa said before attaching a bag of clear liquid on a pole.

"I apologize, Doc. It was never my intention to be a burden. I should probably request for a replacement instead." Shizuru said with a hint of shame in her voice.

"Just follow my advice and we won't have to resort to that, Shizuru." Alyssa patted Shizuru's left shoulder lightly. "Now, give me your left arm. This will sting a little, okay?" She said in her usual gentle voice.

Shizuru lifted her left arm which Alyssa gladly took before gently inserting the needle in the woman's vein and securing it with a type.

"You'll free to go after this. For now, you may lay down and rest." Alyssa said as she gathered the equipment in her hands.

"Thank you, Doc." Shizuru gave the doctor a warm smile before deciding to lay down.

"My pleasure, Shizuru. Now get some rest." Alyssa turned around and almost dropped the things she was carrying with the unexpected appearance of a certain person.

"Alyssa, you are needed-."Natsuki started but was halted by the sight before her.

For some reason, she felt like her heart was just shattered into million pieces when she saw a fragile-looking half-naked Shizuru with a bandage on her arm and a dextrose hanging just above her. The woman looked so weak and small in the white hospital bed. The sad look that Shizuru had before the woman turned her back at her also did not help in consoling her. Right at that moment she felt like she wanted to run straight to her bedside and just hold her and make her feel safe..

"Yes, Natsuki?" Alyssa said before hurriedly closing the curtain to give Shizuru her privacy.

"What happened?" Natsuki asked without taking further steps towards the bed.

"Patient confidentiality." Alyssa said, dismissing Natsuki's question. "What do you need me for?"

"The team was asking for you. Video conference will start in less than five minutes." Natsuki said, without taking her eyes off the silhouette laying on the bed.

"I see. Thanks, Natsuki." Alyssa said before finding her way out. "Please watch over her for me. She'll be good to go before the conference will end. And let her rest." She gestured towards the bed before letting herself out. Not even waiting for Natsuki's reply.

"I will." Natsuki whispered to herself before slowly approaching the bed.

Slowly, she opened the curtain and sat herself on the bed. She looked at the woman's exposed back which bones in her vertebral column were already visible from where she was. Natsuki felt like she was having a nightmare and as much as she had a lot of questions in her head, she can't help but feel guilty for reasons she didn't even know. She had that gnawing feeling in her stomach that didn't settle well with her.

As if she did not have any control over her body, her mouth spoke before she could stop it. "Shizuru…" she called which caused the woman to visibly stiffen. "Please talk to me." She pleaded but the woman still ignored her. Natsuki released a breath and without further thinking, she gently traced the length of Shizuru's right arm which was bandaged up. "You should take more care of yourself, Shizuru." She whispered, glancing at the woman's side profile.

"You should listen to your wife and just leave me alone please." Shizuru whispered back after trying to distance her arm from Natsuki's touch. She felt the rapid beating of her heart deafening her by the second.

"Yeah. You're probably right. Sorry." Natsuki replied, a little hurt by the woman's rejection of contact with her. "It's for the best." She said before slowly getting up and leaving the bed.

Shizuru took a deep breath to calm herself as she closed her eyes tightly.

It was almost midnight and Natsuki was still up sitting outside her sleeping tent.

"Can't sleep?" Masashi approached her and stood a good distance away from her. His attention was on the silent atmosphere around them. Almost everyone had already retired for the night except probably the two of them.

"Just thinking." Natsuki replied before completely laying down and looked at the starry night above her. Her hands cradling her head.

"This is a mess, NK." Masashi said as he himself sat down.

"I know. Just look after her." Natsuki said, staring into the vast sky above her.

"That's very coward of you, NK." Masashi said without hesitation. "She's a mess and you know that she doesn't listen to anyone. I can't be with her twenty-four seven. We both know that." He said before grabbing a stone and throwing it as far as possible.

"She doesn't want me near her. There's nothing I can do about that. Besides I need to fix things with Alyssa." Natsuki replied with a sigh.

"You need to make a decision, NK. Either way, you will be hurting one of them." Masashi said before getting up and dusting himself.

"Easier said than done." Natsuki mumbled to herself but this did not escape the captain's sharp hearing.

"Do it before you lose them both, NK." Masashi said before waving his hand in the air, his back facing Natsuki. "Get some rest. Tomorrow is another long day."

Natsuki just stayed in her position for a while, admiring the beauties above her. "Beautiful things should be left alone and out of cruel man's reach lest they will be ruined." She rambled while looking at a very huge star that shined more than the others. "Or maybe not."