In the Darkness
A Mai Otome ShizNat Story
Chapter 5
A Week and a Half Later...
It was Saturday morning, and Natsuki was kneeling in front of her vintage motorcycle wearing dark-blue jeans, a pink, buttoned-up shirt, and short, black, combat boots. She was inspecting the motorcycle one more time, making sure that it had enough oil and gas, and that its tires had enough air. She was also polishing it, giving it a little love since she hadn't used it in a very long time.
She had taken the motorcycle out of the underground garage and was waiting for Shizuru in front of Garderobe's gates, just below the long set of white stairs. She rarely used the thing, never had the time to go out for a ride, so it had lost its lux, had lost its shine throughout the years.
Her duties as Headmistress and Second Column was a full-time, 24/7 job. How much free time she had on her hands depended on whether things at the Academy were running smoothly, and whether the Nations and the Council were getting along. As of right now, everything seemed to be going well. She had no complaints on either front, so she was able to take the whole weekend off.
Natsuki looked up at the sky and smiled, there wasn't a cloud in sight.
Unfortunately, due to bad, stormy weather, she ended up having to postpone going to the city on the day she had told Shizuru. It's been almost a week and a half since then. It gave Natsuki a little more time to plan where she'd take the brunette and also hear her input on where she'd like to go, what she'd like to do and see. Hear her thoughts on how she would actually like to spend her first day outside of Garderobe.
So far, the itinerary was as followed:
First, at around nine, they would have breakfast at a café in the city, the one that they used to frequent before Shizuru had gone missing. Then, they would walk around the streets of Wind Bloom and do some sightseeing, and perhaps even a little shopping. Afterwards, at around twelvish, closer to one p.m., they would head for the festival being held near Fuuka Castle. They would spend some time there, have fun riding a few rides and also eat lunch there. Then, at around three, they would stop by the local market to grab the few things they'd be needing to make dinner. And finally, they would hop on the motorcycle again and head west, head for the woods where Natsuki owned a small cabin. They would spend the rest of the day and part of the evening there, enjoying nature and doing outdoor activities, like boating and hiking. Then, they'd head back to Garderobe.
Shizuru had mentioned that she wanted to spend time somewhere secluded and quiet, like a park or something like it. She said she felt like being surrounded by nature. So, Natsuki thought the cabin was the perfect spot since Shizuru used to love going there, used to love spending time there. They used to curl up on the couch and watch old movies during the hot months, when it was too hot to be out. And during winter? During winter they used to make sweet love on the white, fuzzy rug by the fireplace. The cabin was their safe haven. They loved spending time there, loved the peace and quiet it offered.
But what Shizuru loved most about the place was being surrounded by nature, oh, and let's not forget the view. Nothing could beat the view. The view of the sky, of the moon and the stars was spectacular from there due to the lack of lighting, since it was a little far from the city.
Natsuki was sure that Shizuru would love it still, and hoped that it might help bring back some of her memories. They had good memories there, happy memories. Memories worth remembering. Memories which Natsuki will not allow Shizuru to forget.
She also wanted to talk to Shizuru in private about a few things without any interruptions.
The other night, Youko had mentioned to her that Shizuru was starting to ask questions, that she was starting to become curious as to what the nature of their relationship was prior to her disappearance. Natsuki thought that it was time to talk to her about this. She wanted to apologize to her for not telling her that they had been a couple, explain to her why she did this, and then hope for the best.
"Sweet ride" Nao commented after she had quietly climbed the Academy's tall gates, totally startling Natsuki.
"Where did you come from?" Natsuki quickly stood, eyeing the girl with a raised, suspicious brow, a hand now resting on her left hip.
"Are you just getting in?" She then noticed the young Column's pink shirt, beige hat, and yellow sunglasses. She's seen her wearing that before, a few years ago. "What the hell do you do out there all night long?"
Nao was always being sketchy. If it weren't for the fact that she could still Materialize into her Robe, Natsuki could've sworn that Nao was out there doing naughty things with random men.
But little did Natsuki know that the redhead was actually being naughty, just not that kind of naughty. She was saving women and teenagers from filthy predators' kind of naughty.
"The Gakuenchou doesn't need to know what I do with my free time" She replied in a soft, monotone voice. She walked past the blunette, both of her hands resting behind her head. "You don't see me asking what you're doing" Then, teased, "Or who you're not doing. You must be so frustrated~"
Natsuki's cheeks turned as pink as her shirt. "S-Shut up!" She shouted at her, holding tightly to the white towel in her hands.
And Nao couldn't help and laugh, saying, "You make it too easy for me"
She was about to walk away but then spotted the incoming brunette, "Oh, here comes your woman" She was still quite a distance away, and she looked rather cute in her short, white, strapless, summer dress, and a light-pink sweater draped around her shoulders. "She's all dolled up, you guys going out on a date?"
She expected some sort of retort from the blunette, some sort of denial, but when she glanced at her direction because she heard none, she couldn't help and roll her eyes. The woman seemed paralyzed, entranced, mouth slightly agape. And the towel in her hands? She just kept twisting it and twisting it and twisting it and twisting it. The twisting seemed to never end.
Nao smirked and walked closer to Natsuki, taking yet another opportunity to tease her fellow Column, and also give her a piece advice. "She's not making it any easier for you, eh?" She muttered close to her ear, "Play your cards right and you might get lucky tonight, ne? Stop being so stiff and take command. It's kinda obvious that she's into you"
All Natsuki could do was swallow, zoning out Nao's comments. Nao didn't exist to her, only Shizuru did.
Nao then headed for the stairs, whistling. Shizuru was almost at the bottom when they crossed paths. "Good morning, Shizuru-san" She greeted her in her sweetest voice as she walked up the stairs. She was being a total suck up.
"Ohayo to you as well, Juliet-san" Shizuru greeted back with a pleasant smile.
"I've already told you, it's Nao" Nao's right eye involuntarily twitched in annoyance because of this. She had told the woman a million times that it's Nao, N-A-O, even spelled it backwards for her, O-A-N, yet she keeps calling her Juliet, J-U-L-I-E-T. She was sure the brunette was doing it on purpose. "Please don't call me Juliet, no one calls me that"
"Kannin na" Shizuru smiled at her. And as every single time, she said, "Must be the amnesia"
But of course, Nao didn't believe that. She made a complaining sound and kept on climbing the stairs.
"Fufu, o-ha-yo, Na-tsu-ki" Shizuru then happily, playfully greeted the staring blunette. She was now standing right in front of her. "Kannin na for my tardiness, I wasn't sure what to wear for the occasion"
"A-Ah, ie ie, don't worry about it" Natsuki waved it off, then added just above a whisper, "You look really beautiful, Shizuru" She had never seen her in that dress before. When exactly did she get it?
And now that she realized that Shizuru was wearing fancy looking sandals and a dress, hiking was off the list, for sure.
Shizuru quietly giggled, a hand covering her rosy lips. She really liked the way Natsuki reacted to her outfit. That was the exact reaction she was looking for in the blunette. "And Natsuki looks very chic out of uniform" She complimented.
Shizuru really liked the blunette's uniform though. She absolutely loved it. She could see her perfectly shaped stomach and her cute belly button. She loved the white top that Natsuki wore, it hugged her body perfectly in the right places. Not to mention it accentuated her perfectly sized breasts. And the black slacks that she wore, how they hung around her waist, it was very sexy. Her attire was quite sexy for a timid Gakuenchou.
Her own uniform, however, was the total opposite. It was rather reserved. She hadn't had the chance to wear it yet, she's been wearing regular clothes this whole time. It was the peak of summer, too hot to wear such a long and heavy dress. And technically, she was not working, at least not yet. She was unable to perform any of her duties as an Otome and Column. She couldn't fight. She couldn't go on missions. She couldn't guide any of the students or help them with their studies. She couldn't advice Natsuki on political or school matters. None of the attributes that made her an Otome, a Column, were there yet.
And it made her feel completely useless.
"A-Ahem" Natsuki cleared her throat and looked away, realizing she had been staring way too long. "We should get going, the café gets pretty crowded in the morning" She grabbed her black helmet from the seat and put it on her own head. Then, she grabbed the spare one and helped Shizuru with it. Her fingers lightly touching the brunette's jaw as she fastened it, then heard the 'click' sound.
"Ookini"
And Shizuru? Shizuru had that playful smirk on her lips. Her fingers reached for Natsuki's helmet, removing it from her head, and then tucking away dark tresses behind her left ear.
Ruby eyes were on Emerald ones the whole time she did this, watching her every reaction, hearing her every breath. She just loved catching her off guard, loved how innocent Natsuki looked for those first few seconds. How her eyebrows arched upwards in total wonder, total innocence, like a child, her green eyes following her hand's every movement.
After Shizuru had neatly tucked those scattered, midnight tresses behind the blunette's ear, she then went ahead and leaned forward, their noses lightly touching.
She heard as Natsuki held her breath, that's when she changed direction and placed a gentle kiss on her right cheek. Then, went ahead and added some space between then, putting the helmet back on her head, making sure she caressed every bit of her soft cheeks as she secured the buckle.
- Click -
She was doing this on purpose. Totally. She wanted to see something, something that made her completely satisfied every time she saw it. Something that always lightened up her day, no matter how cloudy her mind was. …Ara~ Truly worth it… And there it was.
"C-Can-" Natsuki stuttered, her lips trembling. Then swallowed and tried again, "Can we please go now?" She thought her cheeks were about to melt from her face. That's how hot she felt. She was sure she was as bright red as a Christmas lightbulb.
Natsuki noticed that, this past week, Shizuru had been very handsy with her. Had been teasing her a lot, like when before they were a couple. She was sure it had something to do with that darn journal of hers. She was already reading about her Pearl days, so Natsuki was certain there was something written in there that was making Shizuru behave this way. That journal was a bad influence on her. Definitely. She needed to burn it, rip it to tiny pieces.
And Natsuki was right. Shizuru was reading all sorts of things in her diary about how cute Natsuki looked when she blushed, and how easily she got uncomfortable and squirmed when given any kind of affection.
Shizuru decided to try it on her own this past week, and she found that her diary-self was completely right. Natsuki was the cutest when put on these types of situations. She made the cutest sounds and expressions. It was a sight worth being yelled at by Miss Maria, that's for sure. She had done that in public a couple of times and got scolded by the old woman.
Natsuki mounted the motorcycle and slid a little to the front to make sure Shizuru had enough space behind her.
"Had I known we were riding a motorcycle I would've worn something more fitting" Kyoto-ben softly commented as she mounted the bike behind Natsuki, making sure she was sitting on the skirt of the dress so that it didn't fly up with the wind once they were on their way.
"You'll be fine, I'm not going to go too fast" Natsuki revved the engine, "Just stay close and hold on tight, okay?" Then, let out an inaudible, deep breath when she felt the brunette wrap her hands around her waist; when she felt her chest, her breasts, pressed on her back. She could feel the rapid beat of the brunette's heart against her thin, pink shirt. It was making hers beat wildly as well. Almost in sync.
"Ready to go?" When she heard the brunette say Hai, she slowly started to accelerate.
The morning and afternoon went as planned, but with just a minor mishap.
They had breakfast at the café and talked for a very long time. They didn't talk about anything specific, just random things here and there. Talked a little bit about the city and its history, talked about Natsuki's past and her family, and talked a little bit about what Shizuru was learning in class.
When the Head Chef noticed them, he immediately joined them at their table to greet them since it had been a long time since they had visited. Unfortunately, Shizuru didn't remember him, but she masked it rather well not to make him feel bad or uncomfortable. The Chef didn't let them pay for their meal on their way out, saying it was on him, which was very nice.
Afterwards, they walked around the busy streets of Wind Bloom. Shizuru was so excited to be away from the Academy, at least for a little while. It felt nice to see a new scenery, to be in a different environment. And she couldn't deny that it was a little freeing being out in the open, around random people, random strangers of different ages instead of teenage girls.
Shizuru held Natsuki's hand the whole time as they walked, excitedly dragging her from small shop to small shop. The woman even bought her a cute, thin, gold necklace that she had liked from one of the stores, one that had a crescent moon on it. She couldn't buy it since she didn't have money of her own.
"Ie, just think of it as a welcome home gift"
Natsuki had told her as she fastened the thin chain around her neck.
And Shizuru thanked her by giving her a timid kiss on the cheek, no teasing, no games this time.
After that, at around twelve, they walked to the festival. There, they ate a few small dishes as they walked around. They played a few carnival games, which Natsuki was horrible at, by the way. But when Shizuru gave it a try, it just came effortlessly, and she won Natsuki a prize of her choosing. Natsuki chose a medium sized, brown, teddy bear with a red bowtie. She thought it was really cute.
And then, the minor mishap happened. Natsuki had left Shizuru unattended for a minute, just one minute. She had gone to the ice cream stand to buy some ice cream, and when she had turned around, there were a few guys surrounding the brunette. They were flirting with her. Natsuki recognized those guys, they had been following them around since the moment they had step foot in the festival.
"That's a really cute teddy bear"
One of the guys had said, to which Shizuru had smilingly yet warily replied Ookini.
"Why are you alone? Where's your cute friend?"
One of the other guys had said.
"Mind if we keep you company for a while?"
Then said the third.
"I'm right here" Natsuki replied for her, standing behind them. "And she does mind, please leave her be" There was a noticeable scowl on her face. "Let's go, Shizuru"
"Hey, no, don't go. Let's chat a little more"
"Yea. We were having fun, right, Shizuru?"
Natsuki gritted her teeth. Did this guy, this stranger, this a-hole, just say Shizuru's name as if he knew her? He was asking for trouble. Definitely.
And when the guy tried to grab Shizuru's arm, to prevent her from leaving, Natsuki totally lost it. All calmness and levelheadedness gone. She went berserk on him.
"Oi, don't you dare touch her!" Both ice cream cones that had previously been on her hands ended up on his eyes. And then her right fist had connected with his stomach, making him fall straight to the ground, crying like a little baby.
She quickly grabbed Shizuru's hand and made a run for it. She had already been on the newspapers once, and not in a good way. If someone actually recognized her, she was sure she'd be on the newspapers again. She didn't want to bring more embarrassment to Garderobe or her image. She could still hear Haruka's annoying laughter ringing in her ears because of what happened almost four years ago.
"D-Don't just stand there, go after them!"
They heard the guy angrily shout as they ran away. They tried to lose them by running through the crowd, cutting through.
"This way, Shizuru!" Natsuki took a left turn, hiding behind one of the food stands. She pressed Shizuru against the thin wall, holding her still.
"Did we lose-"
But Natsuki prevented the brunette from talking by covering her mouth with her right hand, making a "Shhh" sound as she looked to see if they had lost them.
And Shizuru, as she found herself being pressed against that wooden, thin wall, with Natsuki's body pressed against hers and their faces so close, Shizuru found herself looking at her, staring at her face, at her eyes, at her lips.
She took a mental note of every reaction her own body made, her own breathing, her own face heating up, the shakiness in her hands, the palpitations of her heart.
It wasn't normal, none of this was normal. The way her heart was beating wasn't normal. The way it rang so loudly in her ears wasn't normal. It felt different. For a while now, it has been different.
And everything seemed to click all of a sudden.
That Pearl in her diary, that young girl, she had changed somehow the moment she had met the blunette. Her sentences made little sense anymore when she read them, it was almost poetic: sweet and tragic and cryptic all at the same time.
And now that she was going through it herself she could understand it. Understand her. It was love, love was the culprit that had changed that naïve, promiscuous girl. She had fallen in love with the blunette back then, just like she was falling in love with her now.
It made her think,
Did she ever fall out of love?
She'd just have to keep reading her diary and find out.
"Can you see them?!"
"I think they went this way!"
Natsuki smirked when she saw the bastards run the opposite direction. She stayed watch for a few more seconds, one hand still on the brunette's mouth, the other on her waist. Their bodies were so close, almost mending together.
"I think it's okay for us to go now" She said as she faced the brunette again, that smile of hers slowly disappearing once she noticed how close they were. The intimate position.
Natsuki swallowed yet again as she slowly removed her hand from the woman's lips, her breathing becoming shallow because of their closeness, because their noses were almost touching.
It had been a week and a half, a very long and excruciating week and a half since she had felt those lips on hers. She wished she could just kiss her again, then and there, without having to give a single explanation of her actions. She wished she just could do it. But she didn't.
She licked her suddenly dry lips and took a step back, then another and another, adding some distance between them.
"Come Shizuru, we should go before they start looking this way" It took a lot of willpower for her to say that as calmly as she had, a lot of willpower to detach herself from the woman she loves.
And Shizuru, she felt the energy, the connection between them when their eyes met. The attraction, the desire, it was there. She wasn't imagining it, it was there, so loud and so clear. It had been there all this time, from the very beginning.
How could she have missed it?
She'd have to stop putting it off, the obvious question, the obvious conversation they needed to have. When the opportunity came, when the time was right, she'd have to ask Natsuki about their past.
"Ha… Hai" Shizuru distractedly replied as she tried to ignore the ringing in her ears. She tried to control the excitement she felt because of her realization.
Because of her feelings.
She took a couple of deep breaths and grabbed Natsuki's arm, trying to be as serene as possible, as normal as possible as they walked back to where they had parked the motorcycle. There was no way they could stay at the festival, not with those guys looking for them, definitely wanting to cause Natsuki harm because of what she had done to one of their posse.
It wasn't like they could harm her though. She was an Otome, a powerful Otome. But those guys didn't know that.
After that whole fiasco, they headed straight for the market and went food shopping. Natsuki had originally planned to cook dinner, but then decided to grab some bentos instead since she wasn't sure if her stove had any gas left.
It had been a while since she had checked on the place. The last time she had gone there was about a year ago, and she didn't do any cooking then, she didn't eat. She had gone there because she wanted to openly cry, to let herself go without the ears and the eyes of everyone at Garderobe.
She had been missing the brunette, was becoming desperate because of the lack of news, and just needed some time for herself to mourn for her.
Once they were done choosing and paying for their bentos, they hopped on the motorcycle and headed for the cabin. It took about an hour and a half for them to get there, especially since they were going a little slow. Natsuki wasn't a fast driver, she had little experience with the motorcycle, so she had to be safe.
When they arrived there, Natsuki gave the brunette a quick tour of the very small place.
It had an open concept, so it looked like a studio, no walls separating the different areas. The only room with an actual door was the bathroom.
"So, as you can see, it's very small" Natsuki explained the moment they had stepped inside. She had pressed a few numbers on the keypad next to the door to turn off the alarm. Then, she headed for the kitchen counter and placed the bag with their bentos there. "There is an upstairs, but we-, I-I mainly use it as storage"
Shizuru hummed, letting the blunette know she was listening. "It's very cozy. I really love it, Natsuki" She walked around the place, leaving the teddy bear on the large couch. "How long have you had this place?"
As she walked around the cabin, she noticed there weren't any pictures or any personal touches to it. There were just a few pieces of furniture, so she guessed that Natsuki must've not had it for long. Natsuki also didn't seem to have much there, making it look more spacious than it actually was. The light, wooden color of the cabin and the high ceiling seemed to help with this as well.
She had a large couch near the entrance, and a television on the wall near it. On the other side was the fireplace, with a huge, white rug in front of it. Then came the kitchen, and near the kitchen counter there was a large, wooden table. There was a lot of empty space after that, which lead to the huge bed, a dresser, and a vanity. And not too far away, next to the stairs that lead to the second floor, was the restroom.
About sixty percent of the cabin was wall to wall windows, so nature was very much present inside as much as out.
"I've had it for about three years now" Natsuki replied while leaning against the counter.
She had bought the place the year before Shizuru had gone missing. They did use it quite a lot during that year, coming over every other weekend when the brunette was not out on a mission, but had very little time to decorate. Everything, their belongings, was still in boxes on the second floor.
"Are you tired? If you'd like, you could take a nap" Natsuki then suggested, knowing that Shizuru usually took a nap at around this time.
Shizuru was a little tired, but she could nap at another time. She preferred to spend every minute she could with Natsuki. "Ie, I'm fine"
"Great" Natsuki then walked over to the bedroom area and opened the very last drawer of the dresser, grabbing a large, yellow towel. "Let's go to the lake then since we still have a couple of hours of daylight left" She suggested.
They spent the rest of the afternoon on a small boat, paddling and talking, admiring the sea of green, orange and red leaves surrounding them, and enjoying each other's company. At least until Shizuru felt something, felt a drop hit her arm.
"Ara?"
Then felt another drop. And a couple of seconds later, felt another.
The brunette looked up. It was still sunny and there were a few clouds, but to her knowledge it wasn't supposed to rain, at least not until very late night. That's what Youko had said to her yesterday.
"Natsuki, should we be worried?"
Natsuki looked up as well, that's when she felt the drop hit her forehead. "The rain's early, we need to get off this boat"
They quickly started to paddle their way out of the lake, laughing the whole time. Their rushed paddling wasn't helping them get to shore any quicker, it was actually slowing them down since they were swirling all over the place. But at least they made it to land before they could get completely soaked, before the rain got heavy.
They quickly took cover under one of the large trees by the lake. The yellow towel which Shizuru was previously using to sit on the boat was now on both of their heads, covering them.
Natsuki sighed, a finger scratching her right cheek, "I don't think we can go back to Garderobe… We should probably stay here tonight" She commented as green eyes looked at the light rain ahead. It didn't seem like it would last long since it was somewhat sunny out, but the road would be too slippery for the motorcycle, and she was still an amateur at it. And besides, Natsuki was sure Shizuru would mind getting mud all over her pretty, white dress. It was bound to happen with the muddy road and all the potholes.
"Natsuki is not needed back at the academy?" Shizuru left her stare off the calming rain and faced the blunette, her arm leaning slightly on the large tree.
"I'm not working this weekend, so, no. This weekend I'm all yours"
Shizuru smirked, a raised brow, "All mine?"
And Natsuki lightly blushed, quickly muttering, "Y-You know what I mean, Shizuru"
After a long moment of silence, a long moment of hearing the rain hitting the leaves, of watching the rain drops land on the large body of water in front of them, of feeling as the rain started to become less and less and less, Shizuru went ahead and grabbed the blunette's left hand, slowly intertwining their fingers together.
"It's beautiful here, Natsuki. Thank you for sharing this place with me" She softly smiled at her, adding "I really love it here. It feels very…" She tried to find the right word for it, "Zen"
Natsuki looked at her in the eyes, her thumb softly touching the brunette's in a circular motion. "You asked for a quiet and secluded place, I couldn't think of a better place than this" Then, mimicked the brunette and leaned against the tree as well, softly asking, "Does it meet your expectations, Shizuru?"
Shizuru nodded, "It's a million times better" Kyoto-ben replied with a warm smile.
Ruby eyes stared at Emerald ones for a moment. Then, stared at her lips. She was debating whether she should bring it up now or leave it for much later. The timing seemed right though, the ambiance and the connection was there. So, what was impeding her from saying the words?
Was it fear of disillusion?
Fear of being wrong?
Fear of unrequited love?
Natsuki stared at Ruby eyes and then at her lips. That's when she noticed that she was biting her lower lip, as if thinking.
Natsuki took a deep breath and took a step back, doing what she had been doing the past four weeks, drawing an invisible line between them, a line she wasn't ready to cross, not yet. Not when it looked like they were going to be stuck in this place the whole night.
If something went wrong between them, where would she hide?
"The rain isn't that bad anymore" She softly said, trying to fill the silence, "We should probably head back before it picks up again" And she removed the towel from their heads, folding it as she started to walk away.
"Natsuki" Shizuru called her name, standing totally still. She stood up straight, a hand resting on the large oak tree. She could feel the woody bumps, the sharp edges against her fingertips. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you"
When Natsuki turned around, when their eyes met, she suddenly felt nervous. She averted the blunette's gaze. "I..." It took her a few seconds to put the sentences together in her head. She gathered enough courage and looked her straight in the eyes when she said this, "I… I feel this- There's this… this energy between us. This connection that I can't explain" She was hoping the blunette would take it from there, but she said nothing, so she continued.
"It's a little confusing sometimes… I can't tell if my dreams are just that, dreams, or if they're real, if they're a part of my memories" She couldn't help and swallow, her heartbeat making it difficult for her to focus, "That- that day, the day when I woke up, you said some things. You… You kissed me. Why did you do that, Natsuki?"
Natsuki didn't say anything for a few seconds, just stared at the brunette. She felt as the drops started to become frequent again, rapid again, the rain was starting to pick up again. She felt the drops on her shoulders, on her head. Felt them caressing her nose, watched them obstruct her view.
She didn't answer the brunette's question, but said something else. "Would you believe me if I told you that we are just friends" No question mark. Her tone, the way she had said it, it didn't sound like a question.
"Just friends?" Shizuru softly asked, her eyebrows furrowing a little.
"You and I…"
"You and I, we… we can never be just friends" Shizuru repeated the words Natsuki had told her long ago, those words now fresh in her mind. "Y-You know this, I know this"
Natsuki took a cautious step forward, towards the tree. And then another, and another, walking slowly in the rain. She was eyeing the brunette curiously, "What did you just say to me?" She wanted to make sure she was hearing her correctly, that she was using her own words against her.
For a moment, just a moment, Shizuru felt like she had transported back in time. It felt so vivid in her mind, so vivid on her lips, the way Natsuki had kissed her that day, the way she had pulled her down and claimed her own lips as hers.
"Even though I don't say it, I do feel it, Shizuru"
It was so confusing, more so when things didn't exactly align in her head. She couldn't tell when things began and when they ended.
"What did you just say to me, Shizuru?" Natsuki slowly repeated one more time. She was now in front of the brunette. She had walked there so slowly, so, so slowly, because if she had walked any faster, she thought she might scare her.
And Shizuru, she had to take a step back. She was feeling a little overwhelmed, too much going on in her head, in her mind. But there was no where to go, both, Natsuki and the tree were preventing her from doing so.
"What… What was I to you?" Shizuru finally whispered to her, asked a question of her own. "What were we to one another before I blacked out?" Natsuki's wet nose was now touching hers, her Emerald eyes looking at her, not for one second breaking eye contact with her.
After a few seconds of silence, "I was yours" Came the husky, honest answer, "And you were mine"
"…Was?" She felt the woman's moist, right hand on her left cheek, her thumb on her chin, just below her trembling lips.
"I am yours" Natsuki whispered to the brunette. She felt as if her heart was beating so slow, or maybe it was beating so fast that it seemed like it was beating so slow. She had to lick her lips even though they were moist from the rain before she could ask the next question. "What about you, Shizuru? Are you… still mine?"
And Shizuru looked at her for a long, long second. Her lungs were filled with Natsuki's scent. Her lips trembled from her touch. Her heart beat recklessly because of her proximity, because of her words. And finally, finally, she slowly nodded yes. It was the truth, she wasn't lying, she was still hers. She was in love with her.
And after she had done that, it was as if she had unleashed something within herself and within the blunette. Their lips met rapidly in a hard, searing, desperate kiss.
Natsuki pressed her body against hers, their hands roaming each other's bodies, their backs, their hips, their heads, their faces. Kneading and squeezing anywhere and everywhere they possibly could. Giving-in without a single hesitation to their body's desires.
And when they parted, it was hard to stay that way, hard to stay apart. They dived right in again in a matter of seconds, hands now in hair, lips biting lips, lips sucking neck, a thigh now rubbing against the other's sex,
"Mmm"
Eliciting throaty moans, feeling the vibrations of those moans drowning on the other's lips.
"L-Let's make a run for it" Natsuki somehow let out through shaky lips, "The cabin's not too far" Her moist forehead now resting on Shizuru's own.
When Shizuru nodded, she grabbed her hand and started to run, run in the rain, run through the woods, run towards her cabin. They weren't that far, so they made it there in two minutes time.
As soon as they made it inside and slammed the door behind them, chests heaving, lips and noses heavily breathing; their mouths and hands found their way to one another again. They just couldn't get enough of each other, couldn't keep their hands off one another. They wanted this. Wanted this badly.
Shizuru hastily walked backwards as they desperately kissed, hoping to at some point hit the couch. But they somehow ended up in the kitchen, her back against the large, wooden table.
Shizuru then halted the kiss, Ruby eyes now staring at the blunette's damp, pink shirt, fingers first untucking it from the girl's jeans before heading back to the top, fumbling with the small buttons.
Natsuki made it so hard for her to focus though. Her hands were on her hips, her lips were on her neck, sucking her there, "Mmm~" Making her close her Ruby eyes and moan in pleasure again.
"N-Natsuki, help me t-take this off" She had to tell her between breaths, unable to take it. Unable to make any progress with the piece of clothing.
And Natsuki quickly did. She hurried and detached her hands and lips from the brunette's body and started to quickly unbutton her shirt. Her lips trembling when she saw Shizuru going for her jeans, quickly unbuttoning it for her, unzipping it. She had to swallow hard, and quickly wriggled out of her muddy boots and socks, and then out of those wet jeans, her underwear going down with them because of how tight they were. She was still wearing her pink shirt, but at least it was already fully open, fully unbuttoned, so Shizuru wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.
And as soon as she was out of the jeans she quickly went back and pressed her body against the brunette's. Shizuru's hands were now tugging at her warm skin from inside her shirt, squeezing her bum, pressing their bodies closer together as they kissed again.
And when their lips parted this time, Natsuki didn't waste a second and started to unzip the brunette's white dress. She felt like her heart was going at one-thousand-beats per second, and she was feeling lightheaded, so, so lightheaded. She had to rest her forehead against the brunette's own for a moment and slowly breathe. She had to close her eyes to be able to calm her rapid heart as she slowly unzipped the side of her strapless, white dress.
And while Natsuki did this, both of Shizuru's hands caressed the blunette's face, her cheeks, her lips. She placed soft kisses on that beautiful face as she felt her dress drop on the floor, her panties going down with them. She stepped out of them and wrapped her arms around the shorter woman's neck. She kissed her lips as she felt her pick her up and walk the short distance to the bed, laying her there.
Natsuki hovered over Shizuru. One of her hands was resting on the bed, supporting her own weight. The other hand was about to start making a hot trail south that glorious body beneath her.
Emerald eyes were on Rubies the whole time she did this. Her fingertips started by touching Shizuru's nose, then her lips, then her chin, then slowly going down her neck.
Then, moving lower, making a trail between the woman's breasts, going down to her ribs, then her stomach, her belly button, then her sex. She halted there for a moment, caressed her there, caressed her trimmed curls, caressed the skin there. Saw as she arched and shuddered, Ruby eyes unable to keep up with her stare because she was close to her center.
Then, continuing her route to her inner thigh, parting her legs so that she could situate herself between them.
Once she was in between the woman's legs, she gently lay on her and watched her blushing face for a moment, waiting for Shizuru to look at her in the eyes again. And when she did, she gently went down for one more kiss.
But this kiss wasn't like the other kisses, this one wasn't fast or desperate, this one was the opposite. This kiss was slow, very slow and very tender.
She stayed that way for a long while, caressing Shizuru with her lips, kissing her this way. It seemed like Shizuru knew, remembered how they made love because she was doing everything they always did, everything the exact, same way.
She caressed her face as they kissed, then those hands made their way to her ears, caressing her there, then into her cobalt hair, tugging her there as well. Then she stopped their kiss to look her straight in the eyes.
It's like she knew.
Because that's when she softly kissed her cheek and then her nose, and then her lips. And then she parted her legs a little more, wrapping it around her hips, giving her more access than before. That's when she pulled her down and rested their foreheads together. That's when she felt her breasts on Shizuru's breasts. And that's when Shizuru nodded to her, silently asking her to please not wait any longer and make love to her. To make love to her the way she loves it, the way she craves it.
And Natsuki did. She started to slowly grind on her. Very, very slowly. She stared at Shizuru in the eyes the whole time. They always did this, always stared at each other in the eyes until they could no longer hold their stare due to the rhythm, due to the throbbing pleasure they felt between their thighs.
"Mmmm~"
About three minutes into their slow yet hard grinding, three minutes into their swing of hips, Shizuru couldn't hold her moans any longer, finally shutting her eyes really tight. She was close, very close, just needed a few deep thrusts to get there, to release.
But Natsuki came first. This always happened when she tried to put the other woman first. She tried to hold on as long as she could, she really did, but it was so hard when the woman she loved made such sexy sounds, totally raising her arousal, her libido. When she was breathing so heavily on her lips, when she was moaning in pleasure. When she kept gasping and whispering:
Yes, Natsuki,
Harder,
Faster,
Yes!
Natsuki slowed for a few seconds, "Nnnn~" letting out a high whimper, feeling as the waves of her climax pulsed between her legs. It seemed like Shizuru noticed because then and there, she had kissed her so sweetly on her forehead and then her lips.
A few seconds later, she picked up her pace and didn't stop until she felt those long nails of hers digging hard into her skin, until she felt her shudder beneath her. Until she felt her arc, gasp, and then completely stop.
That's when she knew Shizuru had orgasmed.
About Three Hours Later…
"Natsuki, what will happen to me if I never fully recover my memories?" Shizuru thought aloud as they ate dinner on the kitchen counter.
Shizuru was sitting on it, her bento on one hand, chopsticks subconsciously playing around with a few pieces of vegetables that were left. Natsuki was standing next to her, eating as well.
After their love making, they took a much needed shower, changed into fresh clothing, and had a very long talk. Natsuki had explained that when Shizuru didn't recognize her that morning when she had awoken, she had decided to just wait and give her time to remember on her own. She also explained to her that things between them were a little rocky before she had disappeared. That they were a couple, that they were together, but that Natsuki had some issues of her own that she needed to resolve. That things weren't rosy and peachy all the time.
Shizuru seemed to understand this, knowing that every couple had their differences, so didn't press Natsuki on what her issues were. She was sure she would read about it at some point in her diary.
"If I don't recover all my memories, will I have to leave Garderobe?" Shizuru continued.
She had overheard one of the teachers saying that perhaps, with the graduation ceremony approaching, the Headmistress will probably make one of the Trias a Column, since one of the spots was technically open.
Natsuki placed her unfinished dinner on the counter. "Of course not, Shizuru" She then grabbed the brunette's bento and chopsticks and put those aside as well, it seemed like she was done with it. And it was very unlike Shizuru to be playing with her food, which made Natsuki think that Shizuru was worried. Very worried.
"You're only saying that because you're the Headmistress"
Natsuki brought a finger to the woman's chin and raised it, making eye contact with her. "You're not going anywhere. Garderobe will always be your home, memories or not. Column or not. Understand?" When Shizuru nodded, she then continued. "I think your memories will come back soon, it's just taking a little time. You've got twenty nine-" She stopped there for a moment. Was she supposed to count the past two years the brunette had been missing? She doesn't know if Shizuru had blacked out the moment she had disappeared, or after. It was so confusing. "Twenty seven years worth of memories to remember" She corrected the sentence.
"Everything is a mess in my head, Natsuki" Shizuru said with a frown. "Sometimes I feel as if there's someone else in there"
And Natsuki wasn't sure what she meant by that, "Is the journal helping at all?"
"I think it is" In a way, it was helping. The book wasn't totally useless. It did help explain and remember certain things. "But there's a lot of grey areas in between. I stopped writing as frequently"
Her Coral and Pearl years were a very exciting time for her. She wrote almost every day. Now, she was starting to read about the time after she had graduated Garderobe, after she had been chosen to be a Column. She wasn't writing as much anymore, or at least not in detail, just a few entries here and there. It seemed like she was traveling a lot then.
"I see…" Natsuki let out rather pensively. "How do your memories come to you? Have you noticed what triggers them?"
Shizuru wrapped her arms around the blunette's neck, thinking. "I think most of it comes in my dreams, that's why I'm having a little trouble distinguishing what's real and what I'm making up in my head"
Natsuki nodded, understanding her predicament.
"But sometimes it comes with a sound, a word" Shizuru kept on, "Sometimes a feeling. Sometimes a touch… Sometimes it just pops up randomly when I'm walking around. It's not very precise, I'm afraid" She finished that last sentence with a long sigh.
"Hmm" Natsuki hummed, a scowl present on her lips.
"Natsuki's face is wrinkling again"
Natsuki softly tapped on her own forehead, "Ah, it is" Then tried to smile at the brunette. She couldn't help and worry though, she wished she knew where Shizuru had been for the past two years. If she had been hurt. If someone did something to her.
"Kannin na, I didn't mean to worry you"
"My job is to worry" Natsuki gave her a small, true smile, her hands wrapping around Shizuru's waist, pulling her body closer to hers. "Shizuru, has anything come to you in your dreams about the time you were away?" She asked softly, her face was serious though.
When Shizuru didn't reply, she continued. "You mentioned coldness and darkness before, what do you mean exactly?"
"Please don't ask me, I don't know. That's the only thing that came to me" Shizuru said as she looked away, becoming aggravated.
She really wished she knew. Every night she tries to remember, but nothing comes to her. Nothing but whispers and strange sounds. She couldn't even make out what it was.
"Okay, I'm sorry" Her hand went up to Shizuru's face. "Look at me…" And when she did, "I'm sorry" She said again. "I know this makes you feel uncomfortable, but this is important. If anything comes to you, Shizuru, anything at all, you've got to tell me, okay? You can't try to figure this out on your own"
Shizuru sighed, and then nodded. "I will, I promise" Her hands went for Natsuki's cheeks and pulled her in for a sweet, lingering kiss.
When their lips parted, Natsuki glanced at the clock, then smiled and said, "Come, Shizuru. There's something I'd like to show you" She helped the woman off the counter, "Close your eyes. And please don't peak" And then slowly led her to the side of the cabin which had the wall to wall window. She could clearly see the shine of the moon on the wooden floor, it was illuminating the place.
"Can I open my eyes now?"
"Don't be impatient, that was never one of your traits" Once they got there, she positioned the brunette. Then, stood next to her. She intertwined their fingers together and smiled, looking at her beautiful face.
"Okay, you can open your eyes now" And when the brunette did, she couldn't help and smirk. The smile on Shizuru's face was priceless, totally priceless. She wished she could make her smile like that every single day for the rest of her life.
"You might not remember this, so I don't know if you will appreciate the irony" Natsuki softly started as she caressed the woman's hand. "but I'm a calculating woman, a woman of science… I believe in technology, in the Founder, in things that make sense and that I can explain"
When Shizuru looked her in the eyes and nodded, silently asking her to continue, she did, "You were gone for a long time, Shizuru… Every night that you were gone, I did something I've never done before... I-I prayed. I prayed to that thing" Natsuki motioned for the moon and paused for a brief moment, she felt like she was going to cry because of the painful memories, and she didn't want to, so she held it. "I know it's silly and it doesn't make sense, but I did. I asked that thing to bring you back to me, every single night I did"
"I love you, Natsuki"
"I know"
"Even though I don't say it, do feel it, Shizuru"
Shizuru pursed her lips and swallowed, suddenly realizing one of Natsuki's 'issues' as she had called it earlier. The memory suddenly coming to her.
"And I realized that it doesn't have to make sense, some things just never do. Some things just happen and can never be explained"
Shizuru didn't blink. She could hear the 'Dadum' sound of her own heart so loudly, so clearly in her ears. She knew where this conversation was leading. She knew what the woman was going to say. She felt so nervous, so happy, so excited, and she knew why. She had been waiting so long to hear her say it. To hear those words out loud. Deep inside her, deep in her mind, she was rejoicing.
"I love you, Shizuru" Natsuki said with a soft smile on her face, "I've always loved you"
And a tear escaped the brunette. A tear of happiness, of joy. She wasn't able to contain the smile that adorned her lips, whispering, "I know"
- 0 -
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"For the love of ShizNat"