In the Darkness

A Mai Otome ShizNat Story

Chapter 9

21 Months Earlier…

The older of the two kneeled in front of the coughing, wheezing brunette. He brought a finger to her chin, slowly raising her head to look at her face. To make eye contact with her.

"What is your name?"

He softly asked again, but all he got from her was silence.

Always silence.

Silence and that calm, haunting stare.

She never uttered a word, a sound. Not one. It was beginning to irritate him, he was beginning to lose his patience.

They have had her captive for about six months now, and they were as lost as the first day, as clueless as the first day. With every passing day they had more and more questions, and they were getting no answers, they were getting nowhere with her.

This woman, she couldn't be broken. She was very knowledgeable, too clever, too smart, which made her mind too strong to fall for any of their tricks. She saw right through them.

And she never flinched, never uttered a word, no matter what pain they inflicted on her body. It was as if she was made of steel.

The man sighed, "Again" then softly said, so softly it was as if he was whispering words of love to her.

He watched as his son, who was standing behind her, grabbed the back of her head and roughly dipped it into the bucket of ice, cold water again.

The man stared at his watch the whole time. When it hit the thirty second mark, he nodded to his son, commanding him to stop.

Shizuru gasped for air again, her chest rapidly heaving, her face numb. They've been at this for the past hour now. But no matter what they did, they couldn't break her, they won't. She was trained for this. Trained to be an exceptional bodyguard, an exceptional warrior, an exceptional detective, and spy. An exceptional Otome. She had personally trained herself to persevere, to persevere whatever came her way, to endure no matter the circumstance.

"What are those curious particles we found in your blood? What are they called?" The man softly tried again, asked again, "How do they work?"

But she said nothing.

"How are they activated? What's the source?"

Not a single word.

Another sigh, "Again" And with every unanswered question came the dip of the head. The amount of time in the water increasing the more the brunette resisted.

The man calmly walked over to his desk and grabbed a syringe.

"That's enough for today" He commanded his son. "We will not get anything from her this way. It's time for the next stage"

The next stage wasn't pretty. It was torment, agony, hallucinations.

Every day, he would inject a chemical, a drug. He would inject this into her blood, provoking a high fever. With the fever came the hallucinations, and with the hallucinations came the anguish, the pain.

Imagine losing your most important person over and over and over again.

Imagine killing them over and over and over again.

Imagine their blood in your hands,

And their blood couldn't be washed away,

Your sins couldn't be washed away.

Yes, that kind of agony, that kind of torture, that kind of pain.

He slowly walked over to her, kneeled in front of her, and stabbed her neck with the needle, the syringe. This action, his harshness, that caused her to slightly wince. Then, he slowly pushed the chemical into her body, he saw as the white liquid slowly disappeared from the syringe. Disappeared until it was completely empty.

"Lock her up" The man commanded as he made his way out of the room, "There is no need for bondage, she will not be able to move after this"

Normally, they would tie her up in her cell in case she tried to escape again. But not anymore, not in the next stage.

"Yes, father…" The son obediently replied. Then, picked up the semiconscious brunette bridal style. "Deadly beautiful, why do you continue to resist?" He whispered to her as he looked into her hooded, tired eyes and walked over to her cell.

He knew she was tired, exhausted. Just the prior week, they had used the 'No Sleep' method on her. Every time she closed her beautiful eyes, they turned on the bright lights, and would play loud music, preventing her from falling asleep.

"Trust me, things will only get worse after this" He whispered to her.

Yes, next came the injections.

And if toying with her emotions, if toying with her mind and her heart didn't work, then came the electric shocks.

And if that didn't work either, the list went on and on and on…

Present Time

Shizuru lay on her side, on the seat opposite to Natsuki, facing her. Her head was resting on her arm. She was using her arm as a pillow, as support. Her knees bending slightly, almost in fetal position.

She was wearing white linen shorts today, along with golden colored sandals, and a loose fitting, forest green, V-neck t-shirt.

Natsuki had suggested she'd wear something comfortable, something that would keep her cool. Told her that the weather in Duran was very hot and humid during the summer months. It was one of the reasons Natsuki didn't like to visit her homeland. The weather there was never pleasant, it was either too hot or too cold.

It was going to be six in the afternoon in a few minutes. They had boarded the Jet about thirty minutes ago to head for Duran. The plane ride from Aries was an hour and half at most, depending on the weather, depending on the turbulence they'd find on their way there. The pilot had announced a few minutes prior that they were on schedule, that there was very little wind on the forecast today, so they should arrive Natsuki's birthplace on time.

Shizuru had been reading a book and had dozed off about ten minutes ago. Her lips were slightly parted, a small sound escaping them. It sounded like a soft snore.

She was loosely holding onto the book she was reading. It was by the edge of the seat, almost falling.

When Natsuki looked up from her notepad and noticed this, she grabbed it before it could fall. She closed it and took a quick glance at the title, …Traces of You: Finding Inner Peace, Volume One… She raised a curious brow because of the title, finding it unusual that Shizuru was reading this, then placed it on the tray next to her.

Natsuki covered her mouth as she let out a small yawn. She was very tired herself. It had been a very long day today, and it didn't help that she had had way too much to drink the prior night.

Luckily for her, she had already setup a wakeup call with concierge when she had checked into the hotel, so she was awake on time for the summit. She had enough time to spare, enough time to bathe, have breakfast, take a few pills to get rid of the headache, and review her proposal one more time.

She had little recollection of the prior night and was not sure how she overdid it with the wine, but she did have an idea.

She guessed that since she was in good company, since she was too immersed in conversation and was actually having fun, she had lost count of how many glasses of wine she had had. And since Shizuru wasn't drinking her wine she went ahead and enjoyed hers for her, causing her to double order and lose track.

Emerald eyes fell on the sleeping brunette's neck and then her upper, inner thigh. She had a small bruise in those parts of her body, small hickeys, love bites.

Natsuki couldn't help and swallow, couldn't help and blush. She did that to Shizuru the prior night, those were her love bites adorning the woman's body.

She had not been careful. The wine had made her lose control of her actions, of her ability to think, and had been a little too rough with her in bed. Usually, with the Nanomachines, these types of marks faded within two hours' time. But Shizuru didn't have enough Nanomachines in her bloodstream, so she was going to sport those love bites for who knows how long.

…How embarrassing… Natsuki thought.

Green eyes then fell upon the brunette's bandaged, right palm. Fell upon her right hand.

She had panicked when she woke up to that, to that bandaged hand resting on her naked waist. And since she only had a few flashes of what had happened the prior night, since everything was still fuzzy to her, she thought that she herself had done that to Shizuru somehow, that she had hurt her since she had been a little aggressive with her. She doesn't even remember when Haruka and Yukino left their table, everything after that was extremely blurry to her.

When she had asked Shizuru about it in the morning, she had assured her that no, that it was an accident and that it had happened in her sleep. That her nails were too long and that she had fisted her hand too tightly, had dug into her skin somehow.

Natsuki wasn't sure what to think about that, if she believed her or not. All she knew was that she wasn't going to drink more than one glass of wine ever again, one glass would be her limit from now on.

Okay, maybe two glasses. She could hold a little more than one glass.

"Headmistress, you have a phone call"

Natsuki was pulled from her thoughts by the flight attendants hushed words. Hushed for she had noticed the sleeping brunette and didn't want to disturb her.

"Ah, hai, arigato" Natsuki stood from her seat and grabbed her jacket on the seat next to her, "I'll take it in the back" She softly answered. And when the flight attendant took her leave, she gently placed her jacket over the brunette's exposed legs since it had become a little chilly due to the high altitude.

Natsuki looked up ahead, looked towards the direction of the flight attendant. When she noticed she was busy making hot tea for them she slowly leaned downwards and place a gentle kiss on the brunette's cheek.

She smiled and lingered there just for a moment, the tip of her nose caressing her cheek, and then pulled away. She then made her way to the back of the Jet, there was a phone on the rear wall there.

She picked it up, "Kruger, Natsuki speaking" Was the husky answer, left hand resting on her hip.

"You're hard to find these days"

Came the cheery reply. It was Tokiha, Mai.

"Oh, hi Mai" The blunette then said, her posture now a little more relaxed since she was talking to her friend. "Did something happen at Garderobe?" She immediately asked, thinking that might be the reason for her sudden call.

"Not to my knowledge… I just wanted to check in with you. I'm back from my mission"

…Oh, right… Natsuki grimaced and scratched the back of her neck. She had totally forgotten she had sent Mai to Cardair Empire to check in on Akane.

There seemed to be a minor dispute, and Garderobe was only getting involved because Akane was a Meister Otome now, and she had personally asked Natsuki for help.

Natsuki just wished the girl would make up her mind. Make up her mind whether she wanted to marry Kazuya this year or not. Or that at least Kazuya respected Akane's wishes, she wanted to continue being an Otome a little longer. That's what this dispute was all about. It was silly, really. And aggravating. To Natsuki, having to send Mai all the way to Cardair was a waste of resources, a waste of valuable Otome time.

"I managed to keep everything under control. The prince understands and will wait another year… Kids these days, honestly"

"Thanks, Mai, I really appreciate you doing this" The blunette smiled, truly grateful for her help.

"No worries, it's my pleasure. I've never been to Cardair before…"

And after a few seconds of silence,

"Ne, Natsuki, Shizuru looked like a princess in that dress last night. I bet you couldn't take your eyes off her"

Natsuki smirked. Shizuru totally did look wonderful last night. She looked so sexy. So, so sexy in that dress. It fit her perfectly, like a charm. She really couldn't take her eyes away from her all night long.

Wait, rewind... What?

"H-How do you know?" She nervously let out, smirk long gone. "A-About the dress, I mean" She wasn't going to admit to Mai about the second part.

"It's on the Wind Bloom Times. First thing I saw when I got off the bus this morning, she's on the cover page…"

Natsuki's right eye involuntarily twitched. She didn't notice any reporters, didn't notice anyone taking pictures of her last night.

She wanted to keep Shizuru away from the public eye for as long as she could since Shizuru wasn't well, since her memories weren't all there yet.

Shizuru was well known everywhere, she was one of the most famous and beloved Otomes, and she had become somewhat the face of Garderobe in the recent years. Everyone knew her, everyone loved her. Many girls decided to become Otomes because of her. She made being an Otome look luxurious, easy even. And it really wasn't.

Natsuki was beginning to think it was a bad decision to bring her to Aries, that this trip was a bad idea. Shizuru was safe inside Garderobe's walls. No one dared enter Garderobe, most definitely not reporters. Garderobe was like its own country and it had restricted access. Anyone entering without permission or clearance was clearly trespassing and they would be detained.

"And you made it on the cover as well. You're at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for your princess… It's so romantic"

She heard the girl dreamily sigh. And then,

"Don't mess it up this time, Natsuki!"

Came the reprimand.

And Natsuki's hand produced an involuntary twitch because of those words, because of the tone.

"You have to get better soon. That way, when she recovers all her memories, you can win her heart back and start fresh. Show her that you really have changed"

Oh, right. "Um, Mai. About that…" Mai doesn't know that they were together again.

While the brunette was missing, Natsuki had confided in her ex-classmate and best friend. On one of those desperate nights with no news on Shizuru's whereabouts, she had told her about her feelings for her, had somewhat told her about their relationship. Somewhat because she still couldn't bring herself to voice that they were a couple.

She had also told her about the problem she had, her issue with displaying affection in public, amongst a few others.

Mai already knew about their relationship though. She didn't say anything to Natsuki about it, waiting for the woman to come out on her own, to say it herself. She wasn't blind, she could clearly see the energy, the sparks between them. She could clearly see their familiarity and closeness. Shizuru's playfulness. The hidden touches. There was definitely something there.

She had been trapped in Black Valley for many years and wasn't present to see how their relationship came about, but she did see it flourish when they were students, when they were Pearls. She did see when their love began, and knew it was only a matter of time for them to express it to one another, for them to come together.

"What is it?"

Came the warry question.

"S-Something… Something happened over the weekend" Natsuki blushingly said in a low voice, turning to face the wall. She wanted to talk with more privacy.

"What happened?"

Natsuki swallowed as she looked behind her again, as she looked towards the flight attendant's direction. She was quite a distance away so there was no way she would hear this.

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

Natsuki flinched, Mai had yelled and sounded very impatient.

"Stop yelling at me!" Natsuki somewhat hissed, then composed herself and timidly said, "You… You know"

There was silence after that.

A long silence.

The silence was so long that it was starting to become uncomfortable.

"No, I don't know"

And then,

"Say it"

Natsuki's right eye involuntarily twitched yet again, her grip of the phone tightening more and more.

She knew what Mai was doing, she wanted her to say it aloud. To say the words. To admit it. To admit that she was in a relationship with the brunette.

"You have to say it, Natsuki. If you want to get better, you have to say it. You have to learn to express your feelings more"

Natsuki nervously swallowed yet again. It was what Shizuru wanted all along back then, for her to express her feelings, to be more open about them. That's why she always teased her, always behaved a little inappropriately with others when she was around. Because she wanted to get a rise out of her, get some sort of public reaction, positive or negative, out of her.

It took Natsuki some fidgeting and time, but she finally whispered it to her: "We… W-We made love"

"WAIT. WHAT? COME AGAIN?!"

Mai yelled again. She thought that Natsuki would say that they talked and were a couple again, or that they kissed, or hugged, or something else.

But made love? Holy ShizNat! Not in a million years!

"She remembers her feelings, remembers that there was something between us. Or, I mean, she had suspicions or something" Natsuki continued in a whisper, "She asked me about it. A-And then one thing led to the other…"

"How does talking about it lead to sex? Did you pounce on her?"

"What? No! Y-You weren't there, you don't know!" Natsuki quickly hissed, blushing profusely. "The mood was there, it just happened" She could hear Mai's laughter afterwards.

"The mood was there, uh?"

Was the smug reply.

"Aww~ I'm so happy for you, Natsuki!"

And then,

"What does this mean?"

"What do you mean?" Natsuki asked with furrowed brows, a little confused by the question.

"Are you two…"

Ah, now Natsuki knew what she meant.

"You have to say it. At least to your friends, Natsuki. We won't judge"

And after another long moment of silence,

"Remember, she broke up with you because of this"

Mai knew about the break up. The moment Natsuki had started to frequently visit her ramen establishment with that sadness in her eyes, Mai knew. She didn't say anything to Natsuki about it, but she knew. She wanted Natsuki to feel comfortable enough to tell her on her own. That day never came though.

"Don't doubt it for a second, memories or not, she'll get frustrated again, she'll leave you again"

Natsuki sighed and nodded in understanding. She lightly shut her eyes, a hand now rubbing her forehead.

Yes, Shizuru had left her in the past because of this. Because she kept their relationship a secret.

To Natsuki, nothing could compare with the sadness of Shizuru's disappearance, nothing, she was truly inconsolable and heartbroken then.

But, if she were to rank that time, if she were to rank those five months they had broken up, it came second, no question about it. Those were the saddest, hardest, loneliest five months she'd ever experienced with the brunette close by. She never wanted to go through that again.

One of the reasons Shizuru took her back and gave her another chance was because she had said she would try to change. Well, after they had made love that night I mean.

Being apart was killing them both, and in one of those restless nights Natsuki had paid the brunette a visit in her quarters, just to talk business, talk about the school. Only to talk.

But then talking led to sitting closer, and sitting closer led to a caress of hands, and then a caress of hands led to looking intently to one another's eyes, and then to leaning closer, and then to kissing, and so on.

In short, one thing led to the other, and hands and lips desperately made their way to one another again, kissing fervently again, hands entangling in each others hair again, engaging in a night of passion, of clothes being quickly discarded on the floor.

Natsuki had told her that night that she would try to change. And she meant it, she really did.

But then another year went by and Natsuki didn't change. Nothing changed, everything remained the same as before. Exactly the same. She was sure that Shizuru was going to leave her again, perhaps forever that time. Sometimes she thought that Shizuru was probably better off without her, without the complications of her troubled mind.

"Hello?"

"Natsuki?"

Natsuki blinked a few times, the voice that brought her back from her reverie.

"Um… Hai, Mai" She softly replied. She swallowed one more time and glanced over at the sleeping brunette's direction, looked at her pretty, sleepy, resting face. "Shizuru… Shizuru and I… We're… We're together again" She finally said it, "We're a couple"

And after a moment of silence,

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it? The world didn't stop turning, did it?"

Natsuki's face softened, a small smile on her features. "Hmm" She hummed in agreement.

"And since you're going to Duran, maybe it's time to tell your parents that you're a lesbi-"

"I-I can't hear you, Mai. I'm hanging up now. Bye!" Natsuki quickly said and hung up.

She involuntarily shuddered, a coldness suddenly coursing all over her body.

Tell her parents that she's a lesbian? That she's with Shizuru? No way. No way! Baby steps… She had to deal with her own issues first before bringing more people into the mix.

Natsuki sighed and then slowly walked back to her seat. She was about to sit down when she noticed the brunette's furrowed eyebrows, her trembling hand, her soft whispers.

"Stop…" Shizuru whispered, softly panting. "No more, please… please… Not again"

Natsuki frowned and then kneeled in front of her. It seemed like Shizuru was having a nightmare.

Her fingers went for Shizuru's bangs and brushed them to the side, softly caressing her forehead in the process.

"Hey, Shizuru" Natsuki's hand then went to the brunette's shoulder. "Shizuru, wake up" She softly said as she gently shook her.

"Ie… IE! GET AWAY FROM ME! DO NOT TOUCH ME! S-STOP!" And the touch, the shake instantly awoke her, all of her senses in override.

A hand went straight for Natsuki's chest and pushed her, pinned her to the ground. Her right hand turning into a tight fist, up in the air, about to take a hard swing at Natsuki's face.

"I-It's me, Shizuru!"

But the blunette's voice prevented her from doing so, from punching her. Her husky voice brought her back.

Shizuru rapidly blinked as she stared at widened, green eyes below her. Her shaky fist still in the air, her hand still pressing on Natsuki's chest, pressing her against the floor. She was heavily breathing now. Short and fast. Short and fast. She was breathless. Totally breathless.

The flight attendant quickly headed towards their direction, but Natsuki stopped her from getting any closer by raising her left hand. Silently commanding her to stay away, to not come near them. Everything was okay, she had this under control.

Shizuru then frantically looked around, looked at her surroundings. She felt so disoriented, so out of place. Trapped. And her heart, her heart was beating at an incredibly fast pace.

"I-I can't breathe" Her lips were trembling as she looked around, "I-I can't breathe!" She quickly said, her panic raising. "I-I can't be in here. I… I-I need to get out of here" She let go of the blunette's chest and was about to stand, but Natsuki's strong arms, her strong embrace prevented her from doing so. "Let go of me!"

"Shhhhh. It's okay!"

But it was not okay. Not to Shizuru.

"Let go of me!"

"Calm down, Shizuru… You can breathe… Breathe"

Shizuru tried to wriggle out of her strong hold but couldn't. "P-Please, let go of me!" Her eyes were watery now, "P-Please" Tears were starting to form.

"Breath in through your nose, out through your mouth" Natsuki then softly said to the wriggling brunette, holding her tighter, holding her still. "Do it, Shizuru. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth" She instructed again, and then heard as the brunette attempted to do so. She heard her long, shaky breaths in and then out. In and then out.

"Good, let's count our breaths, okay? Let's count to ten. Count with me"

Shizuru closed her eyes and tried to slowly breathe in again. Once she had breathed out, she heard as Natsuki said 'Ichi', then so did she, "I-Ichi" She breathed in and out again, and then said, "N-Ni" And then again, "San" And on and on until they got to ten, "Juu"

Shizuru rested her forehead on Natsuki's shoulder, feeling a little calmer, finding it a little easier to breathe again. Natsuki had stopped holding her tightly a second ago and was now rubbing her back in a soothing, upwards-downwards notion.

"You're safe" Natsuki softly told her, just like in the healing chamber two days ago. "You're with me"

"I-I'm safe" Shizuru whispered back with closed eyes, "I'm with Natsuki"

And after a short moment of silence, "It was only a nightmare, Shizuru. It can't hurt you"

Shizuru thought about this for a long moment as she felt the woman's hands comfort her.

"Do you know what dreams are, what nightmares are, Natsuki?"

When no answer came, she gave her own definition, her own interpretation of it, not what the books said. She used her own experience, used what she had learned along the way this past month.

"They are a desperate attempt for emotions and memories to connect with one another" And then, with a frown, added: "I don't think I was in a very nice place, Natsuki"

And Natsuki didn't think so either. "You said some of your memories come to you in your dreams. Can you tell me what you were dreaming about? Have you had these kinds of dreams before?"

Shizuru didn't respond, at least not right away. She sat a little straighter and looked at Natsuki in the eyes, both of her hands resting on the blunette's shoulders. Then, feeling as Natsuki's hands settled on her hips.

"Can we talk about this when we get back to Garderobe? I don't wish to think about this right now" Instead, she wished she could forget every little piece of it. "I'd prefer to hear what Natsuki has planned for us in Duran"

"Headmistress… We are slightly ahead of schedule and are about to begin our descend. We should land in approximately fifteen minutes" The voice in the intercom said, slightly startling them.

Shizuru then slowly got off the blunette and helped her stand. "Kannin na, did I hurt you?"

"Ie" Came the soft reply. She picked up her jacket from the floor and neatly placed it on the seat in front of her. When she sat down, Shizuru took the seat next to hers, and pensively stared out the window.

Natsuki quietly stared at her face for a moment. Stared as the color, the warmness of the sunlight hit her delicate face, making her Ruby eyes a little brighter, her skin and hair a little lighter.

And as she explained to the brunette what she had planned for their short trip, for their short two days in Duran, she couldn't help and think if there were others in the same situation as the brunette. Wondered if whatever took the brunette from her, had taken others as well.

She decided she would start researching about this. As soon as she checked into their hotel in Duran, she'd call Youko right away and get started.

About an Hour Later,

"Arigato" Natsuki said to the bellman who had greeted them upon arriving the hotel. He took their luggage and placed them on the luggage cart and was now following them to reception.

"Shizuru, why don't you take a seat while I check us in? I won't take long" Natsuki suggested.

They were just going to check-in and then take a walk in the park. Afterwards, they would have dinner at the hotel's restaurant and then head up to their room and call it a night.

"Hai" Shizuru answered, "I'm going to order iced chai tea while I wait, would Natsuki like some?"

"Um, sure" Natsuki's eyebrows raised in amusement.

"Soy on yours?"

"Hai, arigato" How did Shizuru know that Chai was Duran's specialty? And that she liked soy milk with her chai? Sometimes, Shizuru's lucidness, escaped her, was beyond her. Sometimes it felt like Shizuru didn't have amnesia at all. These moments of clarity didn't happen often. They came out of the blue, out of nowhere, but they happened. And Shizuru never questioned it, it just came naturally to her, so Natsuki wasn't sure if she should even bring it up.

When Shizuru walked away Natsuki faced the receptionist. "Hi, I'm checking in. The reservation is under Kuga, Natsuki" That was the alias she traveled under. Since she became an Otome, she never used her real name when traveling. It was for safety reasons.

"I know this is a last-minute request, but is the suite facing the park available?" Normally, Natsuki would stay at her parents' house while in Duran. But since Shizuru joined her this time around, she thought it best for them to stay in a hotel. This way, they could avoid all the questions she was sure her mother would have. Questions regarding her disappearance that Shizuru couldn't answer.

After a few clicks on the computer, "Yes, it is. Would you like to change rooms?"

"Please" Natsuki then turned around and faced the brunette's direction again. She was in front of the bar talking to the waiter, ordering their drinks. "May I use your phone?" When the receptionist nodded and motioned for the phone near the wall, "Arigato" Natsuki went ahead and walked towards it. She then picked it up and dialed a few numbers.

"Garderobe. Helene, Youko speaking"

"Hi Youko, it's Natsuki" The blunette greeted in a hushed voice. She then turned around and faced the brunette's direction again, her eyes on her. She noticed she was now sitting down on the couch, looking at her surroundings, admiring the place.

"I need you to do me a favor" She watched as Shizuru warmly smiled at her direction and gave a small wave. Natsuki waved to her in return. "Those readings that the computer picked up when Shizuru disappeared and then came back, have you come across those readings before?"

"No, but I haven't been working at Garderobe for long"

"I see..." Natsuki saw as a toddler, a little boy, perhaps two years old at most, stumbled over to where the brunette was sitting.

"What's on your mind?"

"Is… there any way to figure out if they have occurred in the past?" She watched as Shizuru's face lit up when the little boy tapped on her leg, he was giggling, playing with her, showing her his toy. And then watched as his parents appeared soon after. They seemed to be apologizing to Shizuru for the interruption, which she smilingly waved off. And now, it seems that she was asking them if she could carry the little boy.

"I can look at the archives, maybe the prior Chief of Technology came across it and logged it"

…She looks so happy… Natsuki thought, a small blush appearing on her cheeks as she watched her interact with the child.

The year Shizuru had gone missing, she had been attracted to babies, to children in general, like a moth to a flame. Whenever she spotted a toddler or a baby carriage, she always walked towards it and made pleasant conversation with the mother. She would make cooing sounds to the baby, would play with them, and would lovingly caress their face.

Natsuki thought that perhaps Shizuru's maternal instincts, that her maternal clock was starting to tick. They never talked about marriage or children before. The conversation just never came up. And how could it when their relationship was kept secret? The thought of marriage, of children, never came across her mind.

"Natsuki? Do you want me to check the archives?"

Natsuki blinked a few times and faced away, faced the wall. "H-Hai, Youko. Please do… Please leave whatever you find on my desk. I will review it with you when I get back"

Depending on what Youko finds, when she gets back to Garderobe, she'll send Nao to investigate whether there were any missing persons reports around those times, and if any of them came back.

When she was done conversing with Youko she hung up the phone and headed back towards the receptionist to pick up their room keys. She then slowly made her way towards the brunette, who was still talking to the toddler's parents.

"Fufu~ I don't have children yet. Maybe someday" Shizuru happily replied to the couple and then handed the giggling toddler back to them.

"I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mother, you're a natural" They sincerely smiled at her, "It was nice meeting you, and sorry for the interruption"

"No worries, he didn't interrupt at all" Kyoto-ben responded and then waved goodbye to the waving toddler as they walked away.

"I see you're making new friends"

Shizuru placed her attention on the blunette. "Babies are so cute, don't you think, Natsuki?" Was the smiley response. She grabbed Natsuki's drink from the coffee table and handed it to her. Then, grabbed her own and stood. She had ordered their drinks to go. "Are we checked in?"

"Hai, we're all set… The bellboy is going to take our luggage to our room" She watched as Shizuru started to walk, to head towards the entrance of the building. They were going to head towards the huge park next to it and take a walk.

"S-Shizuru, wait…" She took a step closer to her, her right hand slowly raising. She quickly looked around, she just couldn't help it. She looked at her surroundings and then noticed there were a lot of people there.

She couldn't help and swallow. She was trying to get better, she really was. She wanted to do a simple gesture, to just hold her hand in public, to reach out to her and hold her hand, she really did. But for some reason she just couldn't. The rapid beat of her heart didn't let her, her sweaty palms didn't let her, all the people around her didn't let her. So, she changed her mind, she backed off.

"Is something wrong?" Shizuru asked, eyebrows arching in interest. She was unsure as to why Natsuki had asked her to wait.

"Ie, never mind" The blunette then whispered as she tucked both hands in her jeans pockets, and soon after followed the brunette out of the hotel.

Baby steps, Natsuki.

Baby steps.

She was going to have to take it a step at a time, a day at a time, an issue at a time.

- 0 -

Thanks for Reading!

And thanks for the Reviews/Comments

I think this is the first chapter I've written that doesn't have an Ara from Shizuru or an Oi from Natsuki LOL

And no kiss either, on the lips I mean. And zero teasing. What is happening?! Ah well

Let me know what you guys think!

"For the love of ShizNat"