In the Darkness

A Mai Otome ShizNat Story

Chapter 12

- Beep – Beep – Beep – Beep – Beep – Beep -

"Natsuki, wake up" Shizuru sleepily spoke, not bothering to open her Ruby eyes.

The alarm was going off; the soft, beeping sound becoming louder and louder, becoming more and more bothersome as the seconds ticked by.

She would reach out for the alarm and turn it off herself if she could, or at least press the snooze button so that it would stop for a few minutes; but her lover had a strong, protective hold on her and she couldn't move. The blunette was spooning her tightly from behind, hugging her as if she were her own personal body pillow. If Natsuki held her any tighter she wouldn't be able to breathe.

But unbeknownst to Shizuru, her lover was doing this for a reason. She was trying to keep her there, did it so that Shizuru wouldn't leave the bed in her sleep.

"Nnn… Five more minutes, Shizuru…" Natsuki softly mumbled, her face buried in mentioned woman's hair, her unique scent filling her lungs. "Please... Just five… more… mi-" And she dozed off again, unable to finish the sentence, finish the word, completely surrendering to sleep.

The blunette was used to the annoying, beeping sound. It had been going off at seven thirty sharp each morning for so many years now. Her ears were immune to the noise, could easily block it, could let it beep and beep and beep until the batteries ran out. She didn't mind it anymore, she wouldn't stir, her internal alarm was the one that usually woke her up each morning.

A small sigh then escaped Shizuru's lips. She leaned to her right, towards the nightstand, and reached for the white clock somehow, her palm clumsily hitting the big, snooze button on top.

Then, she snuggled onto her pillow again and dozed off, her hand joining Natsuki's hand that was resting over her chest area, entwining their fingers together there.

Last night had been a very long night for the couple.

After Shizuru had told Natsuki that yes, that she would move in with her, she had a serious conversation with her regarding her nightmares, the ones related to the blunette.

If she wanted to keep Natsuki safe, she had to tell her, or at least warn her. Natsuki needed to know the frightening thoughts circulating her mind as of late.

Natsuki seemed a little shaken by this revelation at first. But not because of the nightmares, it was because of what Shizuru had said next:

"If my nightmares come true, if I try to harm you in anyway, promise me you won't hesitate... Promise me you will prevent me from hurting you, even if it means ending my life"

"Shizuru..."

"Promise me, Natsuki... Please"

"...Okay, I promise"

And then Natsuki told her, assured her that those nightmares won't come true. Told her not to worry, that they were just nightmares and that eventually they would fade. Told her to think of happy thoughts before going to bed. And that if she couldn't think of anything that would make her happy, that she would help her with this by whispering sweet words to her until she fell asleep. That she would paint blue skies and bright, sunny days for her, and that she would do her best to make those nightmares disappear somehow, to replace them with sweet dreams.

After those words were said, after Shizuru had kissed her senseless for a good ten minutes, thanking her with her playful tongue for her tender, comforting words, Shizuru told her that she was planning to go to the city today to run some errands.

She told her that she was going to cut her hair since her bangs were getting long. That she was also going to do a little shopping for some things she needed, and then spend the rest of the afternoon in the library.

Natsuki then mentioned that she would accompany her, but Shizuru quickly said no. She told her not to take it in the wrong way, but that she just preferred to be alone, that she wanted to go on her own.

So, they ended up staying up a little late. This would be Shizuru's first time outside of Garderobe completely on her own, so Natsuki wrote down directions, emergency contacts, and wrote what public transportation Shizuru should take since she also didn't want Garderobe's driver to drop her off in the city.

Natsuki had been hesitant about this request at first, not liking the idea, especially with Shizuru's amnesia. But the brunette explained to her that she wanted to be more independent, and that perhaps it would be a good idea for her to be out there by herself, that maybe it would help with her memory.

So, Natsuki reluctantly gave in. She couldn't keep Shizuru cooped up in Garderobe anyway. If she wanted to go out, she had every right to. She wasn't going to deny Shizuru her freedom.

So, she told her that she would pick her up at around six so that they could have dinner in the city, have a date. They agreed to meet in front of the public library at that time.

- Beep – Beep – Beep – Beep – Beep – Beep -

Ten minutes passed, and the alarm started beeping again.

"Natsuki, can you please do something" Shizuru sleepily mumbled. It was too early for her and the sound was driving her insane. She didn't need to wake up yet, not for another hour or so. She didn't attend classes anymore, and it's not like she had a job to go to.

After hearing this, the blunette lazily raised and reached over Shizuru, turning off the electronic device.

She let out a sigh, wishing she could stay in bed a little longer. But as always, duty called.

And after stretching and letting out a soft yawn, she sweetly smiled at the woman sleeping next to her.

Natsuki liked it, liked waking up with her like this. Sure, they had done this many times before, had awoken in the same bed; but today was different, today felt different. As of last night, they were officially living together. As of last night, this was officially their space.

"Ohayo, Shizuru" She gave her lover a kiss on the shoulder, "Dream sweet" and then went ahead and gently crawled out of bed. She headed for the bathroom and took a long, warm shower, brushed her teeth, and then went on about her day.

Natsuki didn't notice it, but that smile of hers had yet to leave her lips.

It was there while she was taking a shower, there as she was putting on her uniform, there as she drank her morning tea from the kitchen counter, admiring the beautiful woman sleeping peacefully on her bed.

Wait, correction, their bed.

It was there as she kissed that same woman's cheek before leaving the room, there while she ate her breakfast alone in her office, and it's even there now as Mai talked to her about who knows what, she wasn't really paying attention. Her mind was elsewhere right now.

"Earl to Natsuki" Mai sighed for the fifth time this morning, placing the papers she was reading aloud on the large desk.

"Natsuki, you're dozing off again…" Another sigh, but an irritated one this time, "How are we going to get anything done when you keep spacing out?" she whined as she curiously observed the woman, "And that smile of yours is creeping me out. Either spill or cut it out" she stood from her seat and leaned forward, almost crawling on the desk, her index finger flicking the quiet woman's forehead with force.

"Oi!"

Then, hearing her husky complaint and groan, coming back to reality from her dream world. "Really, what's wrong with you today?" She asked the blunette as she sat back down.

Natsuki cleared her throat, her cheeks reddening a little by the question.

"Just tell me already" Mai pressed on, "You know you want to~" she finished in a sing-song tone.

And that smile made its appearance yet again. It was a little more timid this time though, "Last night I… I asked Shizuru to move in with me" She answered in a hushed voice.

"Hontoni?! Are you serious!?" Mai gasped and quickly stood again, "No way!" both her hands on the desk, "By that smile of yours I'm guessing she said yes?"

But of course Shizuru would say yes!

And when her friend timidly nodded again, "This is such a brave move from you, Natsuki! I'm so proud of you!" Mai took a seat again, holding back her excitement and not hugging her friend, it was a long way around that large desk.

"The next thing on your list would be to ask for her hand in marriage" And then she came to one realization: "Now that you're living together, make sure you hide the ring. You don't want her to find it and spoil the surprise"

Yes, Mai knew about the gorgeous, Sapphire ring. She had already seen it, Natsuki showed it to her about a week ago.

When Natsuki came back from her trip, she told her about what had happened in her Nation, in Duran. Told her that her mother already knew about her and Shizuru, that she had known for years, actually; and told her all the hurtful things she had said about them and their relationship.

She also told her about her father's kind words and acceptance of her feelings, and about the ring he had given her to propose to the brunette with when she was ready to take that step.

Mai felt sorry for Natsuki, having no idea that her mother would react that way. Saeko seemed so nice and loving the few times she had met her when she visited Wind Bloom. It was such a shame that she had reacted that way, that she didn't approve of their relationship, but at least her father made up for it.

She was glad that Natsu was understanding and supportive of her. Right now, Natsuki needed all the understanding and support she could get, especially since she wanted to move forward, since she wanted to correct her issues.

Mai hoped that Natsuki's mother would someday turn around and accept her for who she was. She knew that Natsuki was still very sad and disappointed, very hurt about her rejection, and she would always be.

She knew that the blunette will never forget that lunch, will never forget that day. Never. That was the day her mother shattered her heart.

"Hai, I have it here in my office. I locked it in the safe" Was Natsuki's reply.

"Do you have any idea of when you think you'll do it? You two have been together so long…"

The blunette turned her chair to the side to stare at the view of the prosperous, lively city. "When we're both better" She slowly crossed one leg over the other, one hand resting on her desk and the other on her lap.

"I can't take that step with her while I'm still like this, Mai, it wouldn't be fair to her. I can't even do something as simple as hold her hand sometimes, even when I really want to…" The blunette stayed silent for a moment, then thought aloud:

"What kind of life would she live? Would she be happy making such a big commitment, being married to me when I'm like this?"

Mai's lips displayed a small frown. And even though she knew Natsuki couldn't see her, she nodded in understanding.

"And Shizuru is not well… I'd like for her to have all her memories back, I want her to be her old self again and-"

And Mai couldn't help and furrow her brows when hearing this, cutting in: "But what if she never gets all her memories back, Natsuki? You'll be waiting for eternity…" Then added, "And even if she gets all her memories back, after all she's been through, do you really think she'll be her old self again?"

Emerald eyes faced her friend again, staring at her intently in the eyes, ears taking in every word she had said.

For better or for worse, over the years, this woman had become her voice of reason.

After a short moment of silence, Mai continued, "If she's not her old self again, would that change your decision to give her the ring, to spend your life with her?" And softly asked her, "Will you stop loving her, Natsuki?"

The Gakuenchou didn't say a word, didn't reply.

No, not yet.

Instead, she lowered her gaze. That happiness she had been feeling, that smile she had been sporting the past two hours slowly disappearing.

In truth, she had thought about it. Had thought about all the possibilities the moment she had found out that Shizuru had amnesia.

She loved Shizuru. She loved the old Shizuru with all her being, with all her soul, with all her heart. And parts of what made that person was still present in the brunette now. Parts of what made Shizuru who she was, was still there. And little by little, those parts became known, those parts came to light every single day.

She was still compassionate, she was still courageous, she was still loving, and humble, and caring. She was still intelligent and considerate, she was still grateful and playful. She was an honorable woman, a beautiful human. Beautiful in every sense of the word. Without a doubt, Shizuru was still all those things.

But let's face it.

Natsuki knew it, she knew that Shizuru wasn't the same, that her personality wasn't the same, at least not completely. She wasn't the same exact person from two years ago.

From the moment the brunette awoke she could tell the difference. It was written in her face, in the way she expressed and carried herself, it was in her features.

That morning when the brunette awoke, the brunette's Ruby eyes had expressed a vulnerability, had expressed a fear that she had never seen in her before.

She had also blushed countless times in a matter of an hour, something that the old Shizuru rarely, rarely did.

She could count with one hand the times she had made the brunette blush in this lifetime. One of them being when she confessed her love for her and kissed her, the brunette had been stunned then, rendered speechless then. And another when they first made love, she had been so timid and gentle then.

There were a few other occasions as well, but those were extremely rare and came out of nowhere. They rarely ever happened.

Another thing Natsuki noticed these past two months was that Shizuru couldn't control her temper, couldn't mask her emotions as well as before. The wall she had built around her, it was completely shattered, completely gone. If she was upset, it clearly showed on her face. If she was happy or sad or excited, it clearly showed on her face. But not just her face, it also showed on her stance and walk.

The old Shizuru never let anything show, never let anything penetrate or get through, not after she had become a Column. She represented calmness, pleasantness, and playfulness all around, as if nothing ever bothered her.

And that tap on her forehead, the one telling her not to worry, it was something intimate, something personal. Shizuru always did this behind closed doors, always. But she was doing it so openly, so freely now, doing it around other people. The precious intimacy of it now gone.

The old Shizuru also knew she was uncomfortable with certain things so she refrained from doing them while other people were around, arguments being one of them. But the Shizuru from now knew it and it didn't stop her from doing so. She'd argue with her anytime, anywhere and everywhere. It didn't matter who was listening or watching. It didn't matter if it was totally embarrassing.

There was a sort of carelessness about her, a lightness and openness about her. And in a way, it reminded her of when Shizuru was a teen, of when she was a Pearl. She was like this back then. She was this free, this exposed, the burden of her responsibilities and feelings didn't exist then.

Natsuki knew that perhaps Shizuru would never fully be that person from two years ago, that person prior to disappearing and having amnesia, but that didn't make her love her any less.

Memories or not, old habits or not, wall in place or not, she loved Shizuru all the same. Her love for the brunette would never change, not as long as Shizuru's essence was still in there.

As long as she was still that compassionate woman, that loving and caring woman, that kind and courageous woman, that passionate and stubborn and humorous woman, she would never stop loving her.

Never.

That was the Pearl, no, the woman whom she fell in love with. And Shizuru was still all those things.

She still was.

Shizuru was still the same woman whom she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

"Natsuki?" Mai softly let out, the blunette had been pensive for so long.

And then, "Ie" came the husky, honest response, "It won't change my decision… I will not stop loving her"

And Mai smiled warmly at her, "When the time is right, Natsuki, when you think you're better" she advised her, "Just do it, just ask her, live a full and happy life" and then, "I want you to be happy, both of you deserve it. You have loved each other for so long..." and finally adding, "You know you won't be happy with anyone else. And I know Shizuru-san well enough to say the same for her… When she looks at you, I can see it, I can see that she loves you with the same intensity as before. Her love and adoration for you, her commitment to you hasn't changed"

The blunette softly smiled, "I-I know…" a small blush making its way to her cheeks yet again.

She could see it as well, could feel the brunette's love for her. It hasn't changed, not even a little bit.

"Let's keep working hard on making you better, ne?" Mai leaned forward with both elbows on the desk, her chin resting on her entwined fingers. "Shizuru-san has enough on her plate already so don't put too much pressure on her. She's trying her best to remember, to put the pieces together" And adding, "I think the meditating helps, she seems calmer now than she was a month ago" By that, Mai meant that the brunette seemed less snappy and restless, and giving less attitude too.

But Mai couldn't blame Shizuru for being like this. If she were in her position, if she couldn't remember her past, her whole life, she would be snappy and restless and aggravated too.

"Hmm" Natsuki hummed in response.

"Have you heard from Nao?" Mai then asked as she leaned back on the chair.

Yes, she knew about the secret mission. Only Natsuki, Nao, Youko and herself knew.

The blunette sighed, a hand slowly rubbing her forehead, "Hai, she called before you came in…" And it didn't sound like she had very good news to tell, "She's on her way back to Wind Bloom now, she should be here early afternoon" And about five seconds later, she placed her Emerald eyes on the now opening door. The newcomer didn't even bother to knock.

"Shizuru" Natsuki softly smiled, raising from her seat and walking towards the approaching brunette, meeting her in the middle of the room.

"Good morning, Shizuru-san!" Mai cheerfully greeted from her chair after she had twirled around to face them.

"Ohayo, Mai-san. It's lovely to see you" Shizuru smilingly replied, "Am I interrupting?"

"No, no, not at all" Mai quickly waived it off.

"Etto…" And Natsuki then faced her friend, Emerald eyes silently asking her to leave, to give them privacy.

But Mai just sat there, smirking back at her, she wasn't going anywhere. Instead,

"I love that dress on you, Shizuru-san. That shade of yellow looks very nice on you, brings out your eyes" Mai complemented, grin still in place, "Doesn't she look cute today, Natsuki?"

And Natsuki's right eye involuntarily twitched, staring at Mai. She didn't have a problem with telling Shizuru that she looked beautiful. She always tells her that she looks beautiful. Every day she tells her that she looks beautiful. Okay, maybe not when people were around, which was probably the reason Mai was doing this, but still, she told her. Every-single-day she told her.

"Don't look at me, look at her and tell her what you think" Mai teased. "Go on, say the words" And then sing-sang, "And say them loud enough for me to hear, ne?"

The blunette had no choice but to give in. She deeply sighed and then cleared her throat, her cheeks displaying a soft pink. She was so going to murder Mai for this. "Hai, you look very beautiful today, Shizuru"

Yes, Mai and Natsuki were right, Shizuru looked really cute today.

She was wearing a long, sleeveless, honey-yellow dress. It was flowy but tight in the right places, tight in her chest area and waist, showing off her dangerous curves. It was long, but not too long. It slightly covered her knees, showing her silky, smooth legs. She also had her hair up in a high ponytail, her bangs clipped to the side for now because they were a little long, hence the reason she was going to the hair salon. And she was also wearing white, fancy sandals but with no extra height, no heel, today she was going to do a lot of walking and wanted to be comfortable.

Oh, and let's not forget that her crescent moon necklace was adorning her delicate neck, the pendant resting just below her collarbone. She never took the piece of jewelry off.

"Fufu, Oo-ki-ni, Na-tsu-ki" Kyoto-ben said with a hint of mirth, thanking the heavens for Tokiha, Mai.

She knew that Mai was one of the reasons Natsuki was doing so well as of late. She was a really good influence on the blunette, was really helping her overcome her issues.

"Natsuki knows what I think of her uniform already, but if she wants I could tell her again" Shizuru happily chimed in.

"Oh, please-do-tell" Mai then imposed, ready to have some fun.

"E-Etto~" And Natsuki stiffened, "Ie, that's not necessary" a finger going for her tie and loosening it a little. She was having palpitations right now and was finding that the room had become extremely hot and extremely small so suddenly.

"A-Are, um, are you leaving already, Shizuru?" She quickly changed the subject before things got embarrassing.

Whenever Shizuru complimented her on an outfit, any outfit, even her boring pajamas, she never just said that she looked pretty or nice.

No, no, no.

Shizuru got very, very descriptive, it almost sounded like foreplay, like dirty talk. And the way she sugarcoated the words, and on top of that, that exotic accent of hers, it made things sound ten times more inappropriate than they really were. It was really embarrassing outside of the bedroom.

"Hai, I'm here to tell you that I'm heading out" Shizuru's right hand reached out for the blunette's left.

And Natsuki tensed for about three seconds, but then relaxed, reciprocating with the hand-holding by entwining their fingers together. "You've got everything, right? Sweater, money, phone numbers, directions, your bento?" Yes, even a bento.

Natsuki had asked the cooks this morning to prepare something easy for her to eat, like a salad or a veggie sandwich. She wanted to make sure that Shizuru ate.

Lately, she had been a little fussy with her food and wasn't eating anything containing fish, poultry or meat. The new transfer student was a vegan, and she had told her about the cruel things her Nation did to the animals they consumed. It made Shizuru extremely queasy, she hasn't been able to look at red meat for a few days now.

And let's add to that, that, when Shizuru was so immersed in something, like reading in the library, she forgot to eat. She had been late to their lunches a few times this week because she had lost track of time, so she herself had to go to the library and get her when she noticed half an hour had passed and she wasn't showing up.

It made her wonder what had captured Shizuru's interest this much, but she didn't want to pry. Whatever it was, she was sure Shizuru would tell her on her own.

"Hai, I've got everything" Shizuru said, lightly tapping on the side of her large bag.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I can take the rest of the day off-"

"What?! No, you can't" Mai quickly interrupted from her sitting position, "You've been daydreaming all morning and we haven't gone through all the details for the annual student retreat… I'd like to go home at a decent time today to feed the demon, she gets restless when she doesn't eat supper on time"

"Ara~ Daydreaming, Natsuki?" Kyoto-ben spoke while raising a curious brow.

"A-Ah" And Natsuki nervously laughed, a hand on the back of her head. "Don't listen to her, she doesn't know what she's saying" And then she shot Mai a look, but like always it had no effect on the busty woman.

"If you need me" Natsuki then followed the walking brunette to the door, "or get lost, or want me to pick you up earlier, call me, okay? I'll be there right away"

From Mai's perspective, it seemed like Natsuki was having separation anxiety. It seemed like she didn't want to let her go.

Was Natsuki afraid that she wasn't going to come back? Was she still traumatized by the events of two years ago?

"Hai, I will… And remember to change before leaving, we have a date tonight" The answer came with a gentle smile.

Tonight, after having dinner, they were going to visit the Planetarium. There was a new exhibit and documentary about Earl History that Shizuru was interested in watching.

"And do not worry, ne?" She refrained from lightly tapping in between the woman's furrowed brows, it just didn't feel appropriate somehow, "I'm not five years old, I know how to take care of myself" And then, "I'll see you at six?"

"Okay…" Natsuki muttered, never letting go of Shizuru's hand.

"Natsuki" Shizuru had to whisper, "I can't leave without my hand"

But Natsuki still didn't let go. "Just give me a second" She murmured, wanting to give her a goodbye kiss, but she could feel Mai's nosy, purple eyes on them.

Emerald eyes then glanced over at Mai, eyes imploring her to at least look away if she wasn't going to leave the room. But as always, Mai didn't falter, she was still watching them like a hawk and had that playful, knowing smile on her face.

Natsuki couldn't help and sigh, this girl wasn't going to give her a break. She was starting to regret ever telling her about her problems. She was pressing too hard, pushing too hard.

"I-I'll, um" Natsuki couldn't help and swallow the lump that had formed in her throat, "I'll see you at six" and confirmed the brunette's previous words. "In front of the library, don't forget" Then quickly leaned forward and gave the brunette a short peck on the cheek, but what she really wanted to do was kiss her lips.

"Really, Natsuki? You call that a goodbye kiss? I'm sure you can do better than that"

Natsuki faced the woman yet again, slightly aggravated by her. She really wanted to strangle her right now. The only reason she couldn't kiss Shizuru's lips was because of her, because she was watching them.

"Natsuki?"

She then heard Kyoto-ben softly say her name,

"Look at me…"

And she did, her aggravation instantly disappearing when their eyes met,

"Daijoubu, ne?"

She heard her say,

"I've really got to get going. I'll see you a little later"

She felt Shizuru's thumb lovingly caressing her knuckles. She saw as those soft lips of hers started smiling at her.

And that smile of hers entranced her, put a spell on her. Those lips of hers were silently calling her, were pulling her in.

She knew they weren't alone, she knew that Mai was watching, and for once she didn't mind.

"Have a good day, Mai-san"

She heard Shizuru cheerfully voice.

And before Shizuru could walk away and let go of her hand, "Shizuru, wait" she took a step closer to her.

Her free hand acted on its own, it reached upwards and rested on the brunette's exposed, warm neck. And then, she leaned forward, feeling as if her heart was about to run out of her chest. She tip toed a little to meet her height, slowly closed her Emerald eyes before their noses had touched, and their mouths opened just a little to meet in a slow, tender kiss. A slow, tender brush of lips.

Shizuru had said that it was okay, that she didn't have to do this, but Natsuki needed to. She wanted to.

And about ten seconds later when their lips parted,

"I love you" Natsuki whispered against her lips. Only Shizuru could hear this, feel this.

"I-I know" And Shizuru whispered back, her lips slightly trembling and cheeks turning pink. She didn't expect that Natsuki would kiss her on the lips, this had caught her by surprise.

"Aww, that was so sweet. Now THAT's what I call a goodbye kiss!" Mai joyfully said from far away.

And both women stared at her direction when she said this. But one of them blushingly pouted and couldn't look her in the eyes, and the other playfully winked, her form of saying thanks.

Hours Later…

City of Wind Bloom

Public Library

Shizuru walked around the old library, browsing the massive shelves near the pick-up area.

Her fingertips were touching the edges of the worn out, colorful books, reading the titles as she walked along. She was waiting for her name to be called, the librarian would call her name when she had found the books she was going to checkout.

The first thing Shizuru did when she arrived the city was go straight to the hair salon, where a nice, handsome, young man washed, trimmed, and blow dried her thick, wavy, chestnut hair.

After she was done at the hair salon, she visited a few stores and bought a few pairs of long pajama sets. That was all she really needed, she didn't need or want anything else.

She also wanted to get Natsuki a 'thank you for being such an understanding girlfriend' present, so she stopped by the same store where the blunette had gotten the crescent moon necklace for her, and bought a cute necklace with a small, star pendant to gift her. Natsuki didn't really wear jewelry, and it didn't seem like she owned many either, but it'd be something nice for her to wear once in a while when she was out of uniform. She was sure Natsuki would like it.

And now, it was a little past five and she was in the library waiting for her books to arrive.

Shizuru was truly amazed, impressed. This library was extremely large, apparently one of the largest and oldest in all of Earl. The building itself looked like an old church, with many large columns and pillars. It was a beautiful building, a historic building.

And this library had so many books, so many floors with different sections and selections. A scholar like her, who was always interested in learning and acquiring more and more knowledge, would come here everyday to read if given the chance. She would read everything she could get her hands on, inspect every corner of this place. Everything seemed so interesting.

It had taken her a very long time to decide which books to checkout because of their large inventory. When she checked the directory, when she typed the word 'Technology' in the computer, a long, never ending list of titles appeared. Titles that had nothing to do with what she was looking for.

She slowly scrolled down the list, clicking a few titles here and there, and then read the summaries for each. She did this countless times, did this for hours. And then decided to narrow her search since it was taking way too long.

She cleared the search and started over again, typed the words 'Technology' along with 'History' next.

When she browsed the titles, a few immediately stood out: Technology Advancement and History, Technologies Throughout History and, Dark Tech: Successes and Failures of Technology throughout Time.

When she showed her list to the librarian, the woman had given her a warry look and had asked her if she had special clearance to read these books. Apparently, not everyone could have access to them. And Shizuru, not remembering whether she did or not, was honest with the old woman and told her that she wasn't sure.

Luckily for Shizuru, Wind Bloom's library had Face Recognition technology in place, so all Shizuru had to do to checkout these books was an eye scan, and her level of clearance showed up instantaneously on the librarian's screen. When the information came up and the woman noticed that she was a Column, that she was Viola, Shizuru, The Bewitching Smile Amethyst, she immediately apologized and told her she would get the books for her right away, to not leave the area and to wait for her name to be called.

So, Shizuru waited. She walked around the room with her shopping bag in hand, checking out different titles in the Fiction and Romance section. And then, she decided to sit on the bench near the windows since the woman was taking too long to return.

As Ruby eyes stared out the window, the warm sunlight bathing her face, making her Ruby eyes turn a lighter, brighter shade of red, she couldn't help and smile, thinking of the kiss she had shared with Natsuki prior leaving Garderobe.

That kiss, it had totally caught her by surprise, had caught her completely off guard. It had her heart thumping so, so fast. It was a nice feeling, an accelerating feeling, it reminded her of their first kiss. Not the one she had stolen from her when Natsuki was a Coral, but their actual, mutual, first kiss.

"Ara~" And Shizuru smiled wider, she was unable to contain it. Her hand raised, fingers gently touching her lips. …Our first kiss… She remembered, she remembered their first kiss!

"Viola, Shizuru-san"

Shizuru faced the counter, hearing her name being called. "Hai" And she stood, grabbing her belongings and joining the woman on the counter.

"I'm sorry for the long wait, these are delicate and unique materials, so they are kept locked away in storage" The old woman explained and apologized for the delay. "Please wait a few more minutes and I'll process them for you"

"Hai, please take your time" The brunette replied with a warm smile, "I'm not in a rush" And she grabbed one of the books as she waited, opening it and slowly flipping through pages.

As Ruby eyes stared intently at the pages, she started to feel a little restless, a little uneasy. She couldn't recognize any of the pictures she was looking at, but the equipment felt familiar somehow. As if she had seen it before.

"Father, the particles are not bonding with the subject…"

Shizuru looked up from the book and looked to the side. She had just heard a voice, a soft voice. So soft it could lull her to sleep.

She had heard that voice before, but when?

Where?

Ruby eyes then slowly scanned her surroundings, scanned the room. There were a few people in this section, but they were alone and quietly reading, it didn't seem like anyone had spoken.

"Is everything alright, miss?"

She heard the woman say, so she faced her direction again. "Ha… Hai, I just…" She smiled at her, not wanting to worry her, "I thought I had heard something" And then the woman went about her business and started typing again.

"Perhaps there is something we are overlooking"

And there it was again, that soft, male voice.

"she is female, and about the same age as Deadly Beautiful, so it should've worked"

"What?" Shizuru whispered while looking at her surroundings again, a frown on her features. "Did you hear that?" She calmly asked the old woman, but she just gave her a curious stare and shook her head no.

Shizuru's heart started to raise, her hands were lightly shaking. What was happening to her? Was she hearing things?

"Okay, miss, you are all set"

Shizuru heard the woman say,

"They're due back in thirty days, but if you need more time with them, come in and ask for an extension before the time is up. You'll need to pass clearance again"

"Hai, I understand, ookini" Shizuru tried to calm herself, to control her shaky hands. She grabbed the books and quickly inserted them one by one in her large bag, one of them accidentally falling on the ground.

"Are you sure you're okay, miss?"

"H-Hai" But Shizuru really wasn't. She quickly bent to pick up the fallen book and shoved it in her bag.

"I could call someone for you-"

"I-I'm fine" Shizuru interrupted, "Ookini, have a good day" And she quickly headed for the entrance.

She felt like she was suffocating, like she couldn't breathe, she needed to get out of this place.

"I'll review the footage again tonight, father, I must've missed something"

Once she was out, she quickly sat on the front steps of the library, her bags next to her.

"B-Breathe, Shizuru…" Her shaky hands went for her face, covering her teary eyes. "B-Breathe…" She told herself, "B-Breathe…" and as the seconds went by, the soft voice in her head started to become inaudible, to disappear.

"Breathe…" And she kept doing this, kept deeply inhaling and exhaling until she could no longer hear it. "Breathe" And once the voice was completely gone, she opened her teary, Ruby eyes, letting out a shaky breath in the process.

"What is happening to me?" She couldn't help and ask now that she was a little calm. "Am I going insane?"

- 0 -

Thanks for Reading!

And thanks for the Reviews/Comments

This chapter was more of a setup for what's to come in the next chapter(s)

We're almost getting towards the end of this story, I didn't expect it to be this long.

Let me know what you guys think, it really helps with the brainstorming process. Most of you leave very insightful feedback, and I do try and please everyone if I can :)

Until next time!

"For the Love of ShizNat"