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Draco's POV
I finally handed in my muggle studies essay on my connection with a song and a movie. I connected with a song called Drifting by Plumb because of its similarity to the song that Hermione sang at my door the other day. I found while checking out this thing on YouTube called 'Mixes'. I had been listening to Changing Tides by the Fray for awhile and this song appeared on the mix list for it. I found that it conveyed what Hermione was trying to say to me even better than the song she originally sang. The song she used was great, but this song is a lot more epic in my opinion, and filled with more emotion.
Anyway, I did the music component of the essay on that song and gave my reasons why. I was originally reluctant to write about such a revealing part of me, but I figured she said she wouldn't share the essay content with anyone without permission and it helped clear my feelings and understand them better. In the end, I had to cut out some of the sections for this as there was too much to read.
The movie I connected to was How To Train Your Dragon since the prejudice towards dragons reminded me of the prejudice in the wizarding world. It's become one of my favourite topics to explore and try to understand. I also thought that the topic would be an easy one and would appeal to Professor Carrington since the purpose of everyone taking the class was to reduce prejudice and division between purebloods, half-bloods, and muggleborns.
Over the last few days I was able to get permission from Headmistress McGonagall to leave a couple hours at a time to pack up certain things in the mansion and make arrangements for the house while no one is taking care of it. In the end I hired a house elf to take care of the house, key word being hired. Bipsy is an elf with a limp from being injured in the battle of Hogwarts, but she really wanted to get work afterwards and is very good at dealing with finances. I'm fairly good at them myself but I don't have the time to do them while at Hogwarts. She really knows her stuff and she's taking care of the bills and simple stuff while one of my uncles is in charge of the family business till I graduate.
She also cooks all my favourite foods wonderfully. Over the few days I spent organizing the house and teaching Bipsy all the stuff she needs to know, I've become very fond of her. It sounds really silly, but the house elves actually have a very complex honour system, so they say what they need to without frills. It made conversation very easy and simple. Whereas my relatives tend to speak in riddles so it's easier to stab you in the back.
I've been back in the swing of things for the last week or so, but I still haven't had much time to spend with Hermione. We've both had to deal with little fights or issues in the different Hogwarts houses and have spent much of our time writing incident reports or dealing with a sudden influx of homework. I've wanted to talk to her, but we keep missing each other.
It's funny, we finally cleared up the whole issue of my mother's death, my past memories, and Hermione pulled me out of my shell once again, but we're being pulled right into another whirlwind of chaos. It's like the world is doing everything in its power to keep us apart after drawing us together.
I'm walking to lunch after dropping my books in my classes and I hear someone walk up behind me. I turn around hoping to see Hermione, but instead I see Pansy. She stands behind me looking shocked, as if she was trying to muster the courage to say something but she wasn't done preparing herself to actually do it yet. After taking a few deep breaths, she opened her mouth and spoke.
"Hey Draco, how are you? I was wondering if we could talk at some point soon. I have some questions and I want to clear them up as soon as possible." At first I'm a bit shocked, but I make sure it doesn't show. I haven't talked to Pansy since sixth year. During seventh year I avoided most people, though most people just avoided me anyway. I always suspected that she had a crush on me, but I never really liked her. She was cute and all, but she was also really stuck-up and petty. She always got concerned on such trivial stuff and some of the stuff she did to appear like the perfect pureblood was disgusting. She's one of the few purebloods who haven't quite let their prejudices go yet and it's not doing her grades any favours.
"Um sure, Pansy. I can owl you about appropriate times that I can meet up, I have to check my calendar to see when I'm free." The words are out of my mouth before I can really think about it. I silently berate myself for agreeing to meet up with her. Maybe we'll both forget and it won't happen.
She let out a huge sigh of relief before responding. "Thank you so much Draco, it means a lot to me." Then she leaves me to go back to the hall and have lunch. I sit down in my usual seat with Blaise, Luna, Neville, and Ginny. I keep the disappointment off of my face when I see that Hermione isn't here, but I can't help but feel sad.
"Blaise, do you know where Hermione is?" I ask.
"No, I haven't seen her since muggle studies. I assumed she was with you." He replies without looking up from his food. I do see a hint of a smirk on his face though.
"Oh, well I haven't seen her since 2nd period ended. I didn't even pass her when I left to drop my books off in our rooms. I assume she has to write and file another report. Some of the stuff the kids in the younger grades do makes me feel disgusted.
Yesterday I had to stop a fight between two Gryffindors who were fighting because one of them had been harrassing the other's friend and made extremely rude and provocative comments. They were dealing some pretty nasty hexes and curses, and the girl who had been harassed was nearby and almost unconscious due to getting hit with a stray hex from the main offender. They all ended up having to take a trip to the hospital wing since it took a while to break up the fight safely. Some of the curses were bordering on Dark magic."
"That's awful, I can't believe someone would actually do that!" says Ginny
"Uh-huh, people can be disgusting sometimes. What's their punishment?" asks Neville. I agree with all of them. After understanding the issues I used to face when I was younger and realizing that a lot of the stuff I did was bad, I find it so much easier to see bullying around me. I can see how bad it is and how petty it is. It's just awful and I can't believe I actually did any of that stuff.
"Well the girl obviously has no punishment and her defender got off with just a 20 point deduction and a week of detention with the Headmistress. The main boy in trouble has got detention till the end of the year, expelled from the Quidditch team, 100 points have been taken from Gryffindor, he's to help Professor Snape gather potions materials from the Forbidden Forest, and he's been given patrol duty with Flich. I wanted to give him more punishments, but McGonagall said there wasn't much more we could do short of expulsion which she's hesitant about."
"People can be very cruel. However, punishment is not always the answer. The only thing that really works is making people understand. That's why the muggle studies class has worked so well. By understanding how muggles live, how they're human, and how they thrive, it's a lot harder to hate them just for being what they are. We can now appreciate what they are and their ways."
I look at Luna as she says this. She doesn't usually speak much so I'm a little surprised. Sometimes she can say really crazy things, but she also has very wise bits of information. When she says something meaningful, you had better listen. That's why I like hanging out with her, the other reason is her innocence. She still seems pure, even after the war and all the pain that's crippled almost everyone else. She's somehow managed to hold onto her childhood and I admire her so much for it. And even though she has her innocence, she has all the wisdom of a woman four times her age. I personally think that Luna didn't get into Ravenclaw for her intelligence, though she has that too contrary to popular belief, but for her emotional smarts and her wisdom. She knows exactly what to say to comfort people and help them keep going.
"Yeah, the kids in the younger generations have no idea what stuff like that can turn into. Of course they know about the war and it's almost definitely affected them, but they will never understand it the way we do. We've seen the horrors that this stuff can turn into and it's sickening to watch the same things happen now, that we did just a couple years ago." Blaise took the words right out of my mouth. The main thing going through my head when I caught the kid wasn't anger, it was shame. I was ashamed because if no one had helped me understand, I would probably be doing similar things. In fact I did many despicable things because of people's blood status. Stuff that I greatly regret now.
Even though I wish I never had to live through that bloody war, I'm glad that I did. If only for the fact that it's led me here. It's made me wake up and mature, made me wiser about the problems in the world. My generation has been gifted with the power to change it all, and understand exactly why we need to. We're at the age where we can start influencing Wizarding society in such a powerful way and it's completely justified. No one should have had to live through that war, especially kids, and we will do everything in our power to prevent such a thing from happening again.
We spend the next few minutes discussing the issue, but I find myself drifting from the conversation. I'm snapped out of my reverie when Luna taps my shoulder.
"Draco, you can leave if you want to. I know you want to go find her, you should go before lunch break finishes. Don't worry, I'll explain why you're leaving." I smile at her in thanks and gather my stuff before leaving the hall. I pass by a couple of Ravenclaws gossiping about how hot Neville is and I stifle a chuckle. It's funny, even though he wasn't very attractive in his earlier years, he's turned out to be quite the lady charmer complete with good looks. He was actually named Witch Weekly's 3rd most eligible bachelor from the 8th year generation, with Ron being 2nd and me being 1st. The only reason Potter wasn't on the list is because he's dating Ginny. However, the Prophet has caught wind that Ron is now single, though they don't know the specifics so they didn't have a lot of information. They still think I'm single and though I guess it's not entirely official, I still think of Hermione as my girlfriend. Many of the girls in the school were very disappointed after they saw me with Hermione during the Halloween ball.
I climb the stairs two steps at a time, careful not to slip and make sure that the stairs don't start moving before I get to my destination. I finally make it to the astronomy tower and find Hermione sitting on the edge of the tower on the ground and looking out the window. She has a navy blue cloak wrapped around her shoulders and a booklet of report slips in her hands. Next to her on the ground lies a plate of half eaten food and a glass of pumpkin juice. Her hair is blowing in such an ethereal way with the sun illuminating it in such a way that it seems like it's made of gold. She looks so peaceful, sitting looking out the window. I carefully walk over to her and sit down to let my legs dangle as well. She doesn't say anything when I do, instead she just rests her hand on top of mine on the floor.
I always feel nervous sitting here as it's so high off the ground, but then I remember the wards they placed so you can't actually fall. They placed those wards after someone attempted suicide by jumping off a number of years ago. One of the benefits is that you can actually sit here now and feel the cool air, but not have to worry about falling. The other reason I feel uneasy is that it reminds me of when I almost killed Dumbledore. It was fine the last two times I came up here with Hermione because I was so caught up in the moment and occupied by my thoughts about her to remember this. Now however, the memories are creeping back to me and I don't really know what to do.
I start to feel really cold as the scene around me changes. The golden light of the noon day sun is replaced by the dark clouds of that night. The warmth of the tower is replaced by the chills of death. The calm he felt around Hermione was replaced by the feeling of fear and regret. The stability of Hermione's hand on his was replaced by the trembling of his hand on his wand as it pointed at his headmaster. The sound of the birds and rustling of the trees were replaced by the sound of nothing, emptiness. I shudder as the memories of that night takes over my senses. Everything is changing around me and there's nothing I can do, just like there was nothing I could do that night but follow Voldemort's orders. The only difference between that night and now was the girl standing next to the headmaster. There next to Dumbledore was Hermione, her eyes filled with sadness and betrayal.
"How could you do this Draco? You promised me you changed! I comforted you so many times, but you're just like your father. Nothing but a failure, nothing but a slave to follow a master till your death. I can't believe I ever considered you my friend."
At the back of my head I could hear a voice telling me that this wasn't real. That this was just a memory turned nightmare. That none of this was true. But the voice was too quiet and her words were like swords, slashing through my defences before I could realize what was happening. I started crying and pleading with her.
"Wait Hermione, what are you talking about? I haven't done anything. I swear I've changed, I would never hurt you. Please come back."
"No Draco, you did hurt me. You hurt me like no one else, you might as well just kill me now before I suffer any longer at your hands."
"Hermione why are you saying this? What's goi-" The rest of my sentence was cut short as at that moment Snape arrived. But instead of killing Dumbledore, Snape turned to Hermione and cast 'Sectumsempra'. She screamed and fell to the floor, a huge gash appearing on her torso like the one Potter gave me almost 2 years ago, but there was nothing I could do to stop any of it.
Then all of a sudden I'm pulled out of this nightmare back to the tower. I'm still standing where I was before, but my face is covered in sweat and Hermione has gotten up to come over to me with a look of concern on her face. Before I can open my mouth to tell her nothing happened she shushes me.
"I heard you come in but when I turned around you were just standing there really still and staring into space. You've been like that for less than 5 minutes in case you were wondering."
All I can do is just nod in acknowledgement. I'm too shaken by what I had just seen to really respond in any intelligible way. She looks at me for a few moments as I sit up and try to calm my breathing and wipe the sweat off of my face.
"Draco, did this have anything to do with what happened here last year?" Her words are carefully said, and I admire the fact that she says it in as gentle a way as possible. I nod, and she immediately gathers her stuff as well as mine and levitates them next to her as she comes over to hug me. She gets me to lean on her and we left promptly. She doesn't say anything else but helps me to our dorm and to my bedroom. She then leaves me with a few instructions.
"Look I know you probably want some quiet time right now, but if you need to talk to me while I'm in class just take this galleon, it has a Protean charm on it, and spell help on the side. I have one that will send the message to me and I'll leave to meet you here. I've already told the Headmistress that you're unwell right now and will have to miss classes. I recommend you take a shower seeing as how sleep is probably the last thing on your mind right now. There is some soup in the fridge, just heat it up in the microwave for about 2 minutes if you want it.
Um… well, I have to get to class now but don't hesitate to send me a message if you need to. Bye" With that she leaves me on my bed holding the galleon she gave me.
Once I hear Hermione leave the room, I get up and grab my towel before walking into the bathroom. I avoid looking in the mirror, because I'm scared to see what might stare back at me, but get undressed to take her advice of a shower. I go straight to the shower stall and focus on the water falling down my shoulders. The constant beating of the droplets allows me to forget everything that had happened that day; for a moment I just exist.
Author's Note: It looks like I've hit a new record in terms of chapter length. Again I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I was listening through some of my older music and I came across the song mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, Drifting by Plumb, and I was so sad that found it after I had written the chapter. I prefer it to the song that I used, but I couldn't exactly change it. Give it a listen, it's amazing. To repeat part of my note from chapter 20, I'm planning on adding another pairing in here that will also help to build Dramione a bit more, but I would like to hear your thoughts on it as well. The pairing will be Ron x Pansy, and I promise I have a really good idea to bring them in. Again thanks for all your support, but I would love to hear feedback from you guys as well. Have a great week, till next time.